when the ogre I hired to guard the castle complains that the longsword I gave him requires a level of control and finesse he isn't used to
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@xkat-holstaur
when the ogre I hired to guard the castle complains that the longsword I gave him requires a level of control and finesse he isn't used to

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when the ogre I hired to guard the castle complains that the longsword I gave him requires a level of control and finesse he isn't used to
atlyss angela
Either way, she'll be all right.
You'll pay us for everything and own nothing and you'll thank us for it

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Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats
they should make a second car horn where instead of honking it says "i love you my beautifil friend the light is green please go" and a third car horn that says "hi grandma" for when you see your grandma while youre driving
Nova's tips for beating the heatwave:
1. Check that you have good access to shade trees, a shelter custom made to fit you and all your friends, and plenty of good airflow
2. Find the hottest, sunniest, and least windy part of you pasture and lay down
3. Make sure you look as much as possible like you have died of heatstroke
4. Get your friends in on it
A horse's biggest purpose in life is to make you think they died
Long sword maiden. The sword is also wide but that is irrelevant.

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the best death note joke format will forever be L asking light a simple question in which logical answer A might increase the likelihood of light being kira and logical answer B similarly might increase the likelihood of light being kira and after a short internal struggle light comes up with answer Y, which no human being has ever thought of as being a normal response in all of living history
the "what are your pronouns" comic is my fave example.
someone needs to chain me to a radiator until the puppy acquiring urge is out of my system
(^ this is in response to my tags worrying about Pangur's reaction)
Pangur's actually pretty good with dogs! she doesn't love them, but she doesn't get too stressed out by them either (even when she probably should).
my parents have a 120lb Leonberger named Rusty Nail, and Pangur likes to follow her around and make evil chittering noises. and because Rusty doesn't react, Pangur gets to believe that she's won these encounters.
Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack prey that runs
jesus that is good to know.
Yup, thatās the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesnāt involved you getting eaten.Ā
REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit
my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and heād just lie with them and sleep among them and theyād rub against him and chirp at him theyāre big fucking babies
Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reasonās theyāre going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, theyāll lose their cubs. So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying. So whatād they do? They gave the cheetahās their very own Service Dogs! The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!
AJHHHHFDDGHH SO PRECIOUS
this post just got so much better
THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE POST
this is emmett and cullen they are best friends
This is the greatest thing Iāve seen all day.
Dogs are truly angels.
so THATS why these cheetah ft dogo pics exist
the anxiety cat
Also! Cheetahs are not in fact classified as big cats, they are simply very large lesser cats, due to the fact that they purr, meow, chirp, and cannot roar. Also many cheetahs have learned to recognize wildlife photographers are friends and not foes, so they will just come up to people and be friendly occasionally as pictured at the top of the chain. Some will even leave their Cubs with photographers to look after while they hunt. So. Yeah. Cheetahs are great
this works because cheetahs are actually fairly social animals, and they look to members of their group for context on how worried they should be about any given Situation. but since cheetahs are also nervous social animals, they can work each other into an anxiety spiral pretty easily over things like ābeing in an enclosed habitatā and āthereās a guy over thereā.
so by introducing a dog as a member of the group, the cheetahs will now look to the dog for context clues on how worried they should be! and the dog Is Not Worried At All, Thanks, so the cheetahs think everything must be chill even if they were personally unsure about it, and they stop being so freaked out about literally everything.
Cheetah: oh god whatās going on how are we feeling weird spotless cheetah
Dog: :) fine, thanks
Cheetah: :) oh, okay
Wasnāt expecting this of all posts to be the first tumblr post Iāve ever seen crest 2mil notes, but Iāll take it
Logically I know there must be a reason that the dogs chosen for this all seem to be golden retrievers
ā¦but I canāt help but feel like we really missed an opportunity with Dalmations, here.
if Iām understanding correctly, dalmatians were bred (among other things) for a temperament intended to make all potential threats more nervous, which is a useful trait in a guard dog but seems like a problem waiting to happen when any other cheetah approaches the one this dalmatian is guarding
and golden retrievers were bred (among other things) for calmness and gentleness, which makes them shit guard dogs but great emotional support companions
WAAAAAAAUUUUUGH
Bro videos are always š„ šÆ.. instant collaborations

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MAKE HER FATTER YAYYYYY
ok now imagine a furry but it's fat as fuuuck