How can I get a full time job as the wandering stranger that comes into town and gets by on odd jobs and has their face partially obscured by a hood and/or cowboy hat

I like how cats enjoy sitting on the backs of other creatures. They’ll do it to humans if you’re lying on your stomach or crouched down. They’ll do it to horses. They’ll do it to sheep. They’ll do it to big dogs. They just like doing it.

Divorced dads will date varieties of women you had no idea existed, new breeds of people you have not encountered in your entire life. My mom’s boyfriends? Norm McNormalson. Sitcom caricatures of stepdads. A nerdy high school English teacher, the quintessential Appalachian farmboy, an anesthesiologist who was way more into her than she was into him. My dad’s girlfriends were the type of people you could only fathom existing as sitcom side characters. I’m not sure if it’s because the only women who would be interested in pursuing a relationship with him had to be profoundly psychologically disturbed beforehand or if he was the force that pushed these poor ladies over the edge but I never knew the energy of the house I would be walking into during my summer visitation. He had one girlfriend I liked. One single girlfriend who was cool and chill and he broke up with her because she was older than him and smarter than him and he didn’t like that.

hey wait! i know you! we used to be chained next to each other in the cave! wow, so good to see you, how are ya? man. remember how we used to talk about the shadows on the wall together. gosh that was a long time ago. but hey. sure is one heck of a sun out here, right? it's good to see you.

i wrote this post with happy tears in my eyes sitting in a parking lot after getting coffee for 3 hours with someone i did youth shakespeare with when we were teenagers and hadn't seen in 15 years, in which time we both transitioned, got into nerd shit, found a job that feels good, found people to spend our gay little lives with, and coincidentally moved to the same city. this is exactly how it felt. never ever ever kill yourself

on another note, watched The Mummy (1999) the other day and I couldn’t help  feel like the O’Connells and the Addams (Addams Family Values (1993) would get on really well ya know? The O’Connells are basically the pastel adventure version of the Addams, surely they would just be vibin’ over tea and crumpets in an extremely haunted mansion having a ball of a time

Jonathan and Fester and Cousin Itt watch from the bar, where Lurch and Thing are making the drinks.

So what? Are you too good to see Oprah's Device?

“Jesus Shaves”

#Make Racists Scared Again 2026

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