dear mello

category: M/M

series: hot soup on a cold day

wammy's era, no kira AU

2 works; 16,395 words

hot soup on a cold day

rated T | 15,595 words

“Roger,” Near says urgently, tapping the old man’s shoulder. “Roger, Mello needs another pillow.” Roger gives Near a questioning look, slight disapproval in his eyes “He’s not making me get him one,” Near clarifies. “Mello is asleep right now. He just doesn’t look comfortable, that’s all.” Roger looks like he’s about to protest, so Near adds— “And I have my mask, so I won’t get sick.” The headmaster sighs, pointing down the hallway towards the linen closet. Near retrieves the perfect pillow— not so old as to be sagging, but not so new as to be overly stiff. Once he props Mello’s head up better, gingerly moving the older boy’s head as he sleeps, he finds Roger again. “I think Mello’s room is too cold. Do you have a space heater I could use?” Roger massages his temples. “Ms. Peterson may have one in her classroom,” he replies / “Very well, I’ll ask her. Thank you, Roger.” The white-haired boy shuffles away, determined. He’s distantly aware that he's being a pest to Roger, but it's all in aid of a good cause. Mello is sick. Mello almost never gets sick, and Near is the expert on being sick, so Near is going to make sure Mello is as comfortable as possible.

hot tea on a cold night

rated T | 800 words

Mello is half-asleep when it happens. He’s half-asleep, and he thinks Near is totally asleep, but then the younger boy wriggles in his arms, burrowing closer under the covers, and murmurs: “I love you.”

series: i want to hold you (hostage)

canon-divergent kira investigation era

4 works; 28,790 words

there's nothing i want but you

rated T | 1,560 words

Though Near doesn’t really mind Mello’s tendency towards jealousy, he also doesn’t understand it. There’s no one in the world Near wants the way he wants Mello, no one who matters the way Mello does— he’s everything to Near. There’s no reason for him to feel jealous of anyone else. Near doesn’t get jealous of anyone else. Until, one day, he does.

nothing hurts like you do

rated E | 3,830 words

Mello shoves him against the wall, his free hand moving from Near’s hair to the center of his chest as he holds the gun just inches from his forehead. He gives Near a once-over, quick, and at first Near thinks he hasn’t noticed anything amiss, but then an unkind smile unfurls on his face. “Hands up,” Mello says, grinning manically.

i want to hold you (hostage)

rated E | 21,700 words

Rico asks, casual, what Mello will want next, what he’ll aim for after he gets the notebook, and suddenly it’s like the ground has dropped out from underneath him, because the first thing that comes to mind is Near. His stomach sinks as he tries to regain some semblance of composure, fighting off imaginings both tender and cruel, furious with himself for being so weak-minded. Near, he thinks forcefully, is in the past. He isn’t an option for what’s to come— and even if he was, Mello wouldn’t want him. (He wouldn’t.) (He wouldn’t.) (God. He can’t even convince himself anymore.)

love enough to drown it out

rated E | 1,700 words

Even when Near is not himself, he’s still Mello’s.

series: our love is god

post-kira, semi-compliant with canon

3 works; 6,125 words

my only one, my smoking gun

rated E | 3,275 words

[part 1 of our love is god]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 4/4 | words: 3.3k

For as long as he can recall, he’s ached over Near. It wasn’t always like this, though; he didn’t realize he wanted Near until it was too late to actually have him. He should be grateful, really, because he’s been able to linger here after death, and that’s more than he deserves, but God, Mello would give anything to kiss him just once.

heaven is a place on earth with you

rated E | 1,425 words

There is no blood or body of Christ, no priest and no pews, but it’s here and now that Mello finally rediscovers a long-lost sliver of faith. Hands on Near’s hips, Mello lowers his face and presses his mouth to Near’s soft abdomen. “I love you,” he murmurs, head bowed and eyes shut as if in prayer.

replication in reverse

rated E | 1,425 words

Mello mumbles something into his neck, something to the effect of waiting until Near is ready for him to move, but Near only halfway registers it. Golden hair tickles his nose, and he pictures mitosis— prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase— then imagines cytokinesis in reverse. Two cells pushed together until, somehow, their membranes connect, two phospholipid bilayers self-arranging into one continuous structure, cytoplasms mingling. He swallows thickly and longs for something impossible.

series: marital bliss

post-wammy's no kira AU

2 works; 4,465 words

engaged

rated M | 1,425 words

“So, like, I suddenly realized… Near is into me. Like, Near wants me.” He pauses as if to allow this to sink in, looking at Matt like this is still a groundbreaking revelation the second time around when it in fact was not even groundbreaking the first. Near’s crush has been obvious to literally everyone but Mello for the past ten years. “Yes. This surprised you. And also me, because I definitely did not know that Near was into you before you told me fifteen minutes ago.” Mello nods, satisfied, entirely missing Matt’s sarcasm, which might be for the best. “So, naturally, I slept with him.” “Naturally,” Matt says. Mello does not miss the sarcasm this time. “If you’re just going to be a judgmental bitch the whole time, I’m not going to explain it again. You should be smart enough to remember what I fucking said the first time anyway.” “No, yeah, I actually think most well-adjusted people would sleep with their sworn enemies the moment they find out they’re into them.” Matt smiles tightly. “It wasn’t the moment I found out,” Mello says petulantly. “I waited like, four hours.”

married

rated E | 3,040 words

Being married to Mello is, Near finds, better than he could have ever imagined. For the last two months, every day has started the same way. He wakes up to the sound of their alarm, surrounded by Mello. Mello’s chest warm against his back, Mello’s breath tickling his neck, Mello’s arm curled around him, solid and sure. Near has to squirm out of his embrace to turn off the clock, and said squirming inevitably wakes Mello. By the time Near has silenced the alarm, his husband is propped up on one elbow, staring. “Get back here,” Mello always says, his voice coarse with sleep and low enough to make Near shiver.

series: (not so) casual sex

post-wammy's no kira AU

2 works; 7,392 words

it’s friday, i’m in love

rated M | 2,675 words

Mello abandons a night out in favor of seeing (and holding and kissing and sleeping beside) Near.

love chained

rated E | 4,717 words | chapter 1/?

Against his will, his mind momentarily drifts to Near. He thinks about how Near gets chilled if he isn’t held close enough after he’s been fucked, and how perfectly his body fits against Mello’s own, how comfortable it is to curl around him. It never really bugs him that Near wants to be close after sex. There’s a sort of irresistibility to him, actually, that pulls Mello in— his skin damp and flushed, his breaths uneven, his limbs slack in the aftermath of his orgasm. Near smells kind of nice even when he’s all sweaty, and he makes this happy little sound when Mello’s face finds its way into the crook of his neck, and he’s so quiet and still when he falls asleep that it somehow soothes Mello into slumber, too. God damn it. At the end of the day, this is his problem. He shouldn’t have thoughts this fond about Near; it’s weird, and not at all casual, and if he lets it continue he’s going to completely wreck what they have.

collaborations (complete)

Minutes to Midnight

part 2 of Time Together (2 works; 20,412 words)

collaboration with @empressofthewind

rated E | 14,865 words

This is the only issue Near has with letting Mello do all their debriefings: it’s easy for Near to stare, undetected and uninterrupted, for a long, long time. In New York, he mitigates this by spreading out on the floor and surrounding himself with toys or cards or dice. Whatever he needs to do to occupy himself. When they’ve travelled for cases before – which isn’t common by any stretch of the imagination – Near has relied on the movements and sounds of their colleagues to pull his attention away instead. The squeak of Rester’s chair, the tapping of Gevanni’s polished shoe, the sound of Lidner shuffling through papers. He uses whatever he can to keep his eyes off Mello. Out of sight, out of mind. Right now, he’s out of luck.

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Impetus

part 2 of Impulse (2 works; 7,360 words)

collaboration with @/empressofthewind

rated E | 4,888 words

Ten full days after Near had cruelly and callously broken Mello's heart over email— over email, for God's sake— Mello began to experience what could only have been demonic possession or divine inspiration. Or maybe that was just the whiskey and the wishing. -- In which Mello pines and plots to win Near back with a pizza and a few bad lies.

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shot in the dark

collaboration with @/empressofthewind

rated E | 8,225 words

Mello’s posture changes, abrupt but liquid-smooth, shoulders squaring and spine straightening as he raises the gun until Near is staring down the barrel of it. Blood rushes in his ears, loud. Mello licks his lips. “Get up.”

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Distraction

collaboration with @/empressofthewind

rated E | 2,880 words

The small pout Near offers in response would, under normal circumstances, result in the rapid undoing of Mello’s resolve. Worse still is that Near has begun writhing in his lap; not quite grinding on him, but shifting his weight in a way that’s troublesome nonetheless. Mello huffs. Near is fully aware of what he’s doing. He knows the effect he has on Mello. He’s teasing him. If that’s how this is going to be, then perhaps Mello will do a little teasing of his own.

standalone works (complete)

early arrival

rated E | 1,570 words

It’s one in the morning and Near is wide awake, talking to Mello in hushed tones as the other passengers sleep soundly around them. According to the small screen on the back of the seat in front of him, they’re more than halfway through the flight, but it’s far from almost-over— it will be another three hours before they touch down in London.

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untouched

rated E | 2,570 words

The storm is the only reason Near is here, and the only reason Mello let him in. That’s what Mello is trying to tell himself, anyway. — In which an old habit turns into something new.

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good boy

rated E | 5,356 words

Mello’s stare is warm and constant, and the comforting exhilaration of it builds and builds within Near until he feels like he may burst. There is something he wants to say to Mello, but he doesn’t know what it is. Before he can ever say anything at all, though, Mello stands to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says. Before he goes, he gives Near two lists. One for the night. One for the next morning. Near always follows them to the letter. — In which Mello and Near form a dom-sub relationship centered entirely around shared meals and to-do lists.

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THE END IS NEAR

rated T | 1,725 words

So here they are now, in the middle of the bible belt with a disposable camera and an unspoken agreement to ignore the elephant in the room. Or— elephants, plural, because there are a whole host of things they aren’t discussing. The Kira case is one, and maybe the biggest, but they also haven’t talked about Mello’s photo or the words on the back of it, and Near hasn’t dared to voice the question that he keeps asking himself: Why am I here?

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better than him

rated E | 1,250 words

In which Mello thinks Near has a boyfriend, and Near thinks Mello has an infidelity kink.

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to have & to hurt

rated E | 7,000 words

Five times Mello is harsh with Near, and one time he is very tender.

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august 18th, 2010 (two-hundred days)

rated E | 1,650 words

Near is sitting in his office. He is sitting at his desk in his office, which is also Mello’s office, because they share one, now. Mello is under two meters away from him, sitting at his own desk and glaring at his backlit monitor like he wants to kill it. This has been their status quo for about seven months. Near knows the exact figure— two-hundred days— but he usually avoids acknowledging that he knows it, even in his own mind. Having this information on hand feels slightly illicit, because he knows the only reason he recalls the duration of their professional partnership with this degree of precision is because of what happened immediately before it began.

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starving

rated M | 2,720 words

Near is hungry. No— not hungry. Near is famished. He’s starving. Mello can see it in the pronounced pallor of his face, the dullness of his eyes. In life, he could go for a day and a half without eating and barely notice. It wasn’t good for him, but he could do it without issue. In undeath, he is not so resilient.

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a hard day's night

rated E | 2,475 words

Near wakes to find himself in a soft, inky darkness, completely unable to move. His paralysis is not immediately noteworthy to him. At first, as he is rising from the depths of unconsciousness, it strikes him as quite natural. Comfortable, even. With his mind still half-blanketed by sleep, his thoughts slow and blurry, the weight bearing down on him feels almost like an embrace. This thought is what first brings his attention to the strangeness. Physical affection— physical contact, full-stop— is not part of his daily life. The only people who ever touch him are doctors, dentists, and Mello, though Mello only grabs him when he is about to walk through a puddle or into an obstacle, or, occasionally, when Mello is especially frustrated with him. No one embraces Near. -- In which Mello sleepily invades Near’s space, and Near puzzles through both what is happening and what to do about it.

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grand premiere

rated G | 1,111 words

Near reaches his wit’s end on a Tuesday in early October. He has been trying to win Mello’s heart for months now, seemingly to no avail. He cannot take it any longer.

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compromised

rated E | 2,850 words

The door has only just shut behind them when Mello slams him against it, forcing the air from Near’s lungs in a painful wheeze. Hands fisted in white fabric, he gets right up in Near’s face. It is meant to be frightening, menacing, but more than anything Near finds it nostalgic, really. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Mello hisses. Near blinks, feigning innocence. “Visiting.” — In which Near finds both Mello’s base and a suitable compromise.

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we’ll pretend it ends tomorrow

rated E | 5,775 words

“What’s happening?” Near asks. “I’m not sure,” Mello says. “I think we might’ve been kidnapped.” Near makes a soft sound of disapproval. Mello bristles at this, because it sounds like Near is mad at him over their abduction, even though it’s obviously not Mello’s fault. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he reminds himself that Near is probably feeling super-scared and vulnerable, and that, considering the situation, he may not be thinking through the potential implications of the sounds he’s making. He probably didn’t mean for it to seem accusatory. -- A dire situation tests Mello and Near’s ability to work together, bringing out the good, the bad, and the sexy.

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better than revenge

rated E | 910 words

“If you ever have sex with Gevanni,” Mello interrupts, breathless and half-insane, “I will literally kill him.”

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slice

rated E | 1,000 words

In which Near watches Mello cut fruit and marvels over his tender, dangerous hands.

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come together

rated E | 2,175 words

“What,” Mello says, trying for derisiveness again, “are you trying to figure out how it works?” Near doesn’t flinch or falter. “No. I’m quite familiar with self-pleasure. I was just looking.” “Creep.” “I was not the one to suggest masturbating together,” Near says. “And you were looking at me, too.” -- In which Mello and Near touch themselves, and watch each other.

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one in the same

rated E | 3,500 words

“Fuck,” Mello whispers. His hands shake against Near’s chest. “Good boy,” Near repeats, experimental, smiling as he watches Mello’s eyes flutter shut again. “The very best.” A small frown tugs at Mello’s lips. Near tries to kiss it away, but it lingers. He still has work to do.

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the frost

rated T | 1,620 words

“So?” Mello shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Brushes his wrist against the handle of his gun, just to remind himself that it’s there. “What the hell do you want?” Near smirks. “Who said I wanted anything but your company?” He twirls a strand of hair around his finger. The gesture is so familiar that it makes Mello’s chest ache. “Perhaps I wished to spend time with an old friend. It’s been a long while, hasn’t it?” Mello scoffs. “Oh, is that what we are?” A tilt of Near’s head. His smile skews, bafflingly, a bit more genuine. Bizarre little bastard. “Isn’t it?”

winter wonderland

rated T | 1,450 words

Near’s hand shoots toward him. His cold fingers connect with the skin of Mello’s neck, underneath the collar of his coat. Mello yelps. “See?” Near says, withdrawing his icicle-hand. “They’re very cold.” “Yeah, no shit,” says Mello. “What the hell do you want me to do about it?” There may be winter apparel vendors here, he supposes. Hand-knit scarves and gloves and mittens. He goes to pull out the list of stalls, but is again stopped in his tracks by Near, who now offers both hands. He looks at Mello very seriously. “Warm them up.”

starstruck

rated T | 1,110 words

There’s a boy Mello can’t stop looking at in the second row. White hair, dark eyes, round-ish face. He’s kind of pretty, and kind of Mello’s type, but that isn’t why he’s looking. — Graduate student Nate River meets internationally-acclaimed rockstar Mihael Keehl— stage name Mello. One of them is a little starstruck.

yardwork

rated M | 500 words

Mello gardens, and Near watches.

standalone works (in progress)

there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have

rated E | 22,265 words | 6/7 chapters

“Ah, good morning,” Near says, and solely from the look on his face Mello knows he is missing some key fucking information. “I thought maybe you had left.” Mello shakes his head. He’s somewhat distracted by the fact that he still can’t tell if Near is naked; he’s shirtless, though, and that’s already ten times more of Near’s skin than Mello has ever seen before. Or, it’s more than he can recall seeing, anyways. And now Mello can’t stop staring at his chest. It’s so stupid, because Near is thin and scrawny and all pasty but Mello cannot tear his eyes away anyways— “So—” Mello’s voice fucking cracks as he finally manages to start speaking, a clear sign that some higher power is out to get him. He presses onwards anyways. “So, last night was…” He trails off, not even sure how he wants to finish the sentence, or if he wants to finish it at all. Near brings a pale hand to his hair and idly twirls a strand “Surprising,” Near completes the thought before glancing away. “But… not entirely unpleasant.” — In which Mello wakes up in Near’s bed after a night out and arrives at a wildly incorrect conclusion regarding the events that landed him there.

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all’s fair in love and war (and this is both)

rated T | 15,122 words | 3/4 chapters

Near has Mello under siege, dragging him into a battle of wits, strategy, and stealth, one that has him in a state of constant vigilance, ever-ready for an attack. With his dignity and his ego on the line, Mello throws himself head-first into psychological warfare against his longtime rival, trying any tactic he can to help him turn the tide in his favor. The game is as complex and mind-bending as four-dimensional chess, and Mello has to think twenty moves ahead just to keep up, but he’ll be damned before losing to Near at this. Or: Near accidentally gaslights Mello into being his boyfriend, and Mello does Olympic-level mental gymnastics in order to read Near’s actions as sinister.

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an unusual proposal

rated E | 4,562 words | 2/? chapters

“So,” Mello says. “What do you think?” Near scrutinizes his rival. Mello fidgets with the chain attached to his pants, seemingly anxious but still gravely serious. The proposal is… unconventional, to say the least, and logistically rather complicated— there are at least four-dozen things that could go wrong, and that’s just off the top of his head. It won’t be easy. His decision, though, is easy. He does not want Mello to die, and this, strange as it may be, seems like the best way to protect him. “Yes,” Near says. “I’ll do it.”

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15 Totally Chill Ways to Flirt With Your Crush

rated M | 3,798 words | 2/? chapters

He scanned through the table of contents. Hot Trends to Try This Summer. 20 Best Affordable Lip Glosses. How to Take Care of Your Mental Health in College. None of these were right. Near was not interested in fashion, suspected lip gloss would be unpleasant to him from a sensory perspective, and was already the picture of excellent mental health. He kept searching, a small frown on his face, until— lo and behold— he found the page number he was looking for and flipped to the article that would, he assumed, completely change his life: 15 Totally Chill Ways to Flirt With Your Crush.

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a game of chance

rated E | 4,780 words | 3/4 chapters

“Um.” Mello wrinkles his nose at the objects in his palm. “What’s the point of this again?” They are standing in the living room of their shared apartment, and also possibly on the precipice of a new and thrilling chapter of their relationship, though Mello is—by design— unaware of this latter detail. — In which Near uses a special set of dice to shift the tides of his relationship with Mello.

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bite down

rated E | 2,115 words | 1/3 chapters

When Mello wakes to find his wrist in Near’s delicate grasp, the skin freshly-wet with saliva and blood, the first thing out of his mouth is: “I knew it.” Near— his longtime rival, short-time colleague, and, as of some indeterminate number of hours ago, his most recent one-night stand— lies on the bed beside him, propped up partway, staring evenly. The pristine sheets, arranged over his lower half in an artfully disheveled way, appear almost dingy compared to the sickly-silver glow of his bare, moonlit chest. “Did you,” Near says, mild, curious. “That’s quite strange.” He licks a drop of blood from the sensitive skin of Mello’s wrist, and Mello shivers. A bright wave of static rolls through him at the contact. “Yes,” Mello tells him, hoping the waver in his voice is just his imagination. “That’s— that’s why I slept with you. Obviously.” -- In which Mello makes the ultimate sacrifice to uncover Near’s vampirism and clinch his position as L’s sole successor, and then makes the very same sacrifice several times more, purely out of the goodness of his heart.

category: F/F

series: what doesn't kill me makes me want you more

wammy's era, no kira AU

3 works; 9,975 words

what doesn't kill me makes me want you more

rated M | 6,275 words | 3/? chapters

“Poor Near,” Mello says, stepping closer and pulling Near’s head back further, tilting her face up as Mello cages her against the wall. “How long have you liked me?” Near’s heart is kicking against her ribcage so hard it almost hurts, and her ears are burning with embarrassment. She squeezes her eyes shut, unable to hold the blonde’s gaze. “Mello, I...” she tries to speak, hoarse. “Has it been months?” Mello asks, her voice getting closer as Near feels her lean down. She braves a glimpse through her lashes and watches as Mello bends her head to brush her cheek against Near’s, putting her lips next to Near’s ear. “Years, maybe?” The older girl teases. Near finds it in herself to squeak out a “yes,” and almost jumps at Mello’s sharp intake of breath. “Years,” Mello marvels.

clean cut (bleed slow)

rated T | 2,000 words

The sting of alcohol is sharp on Mello’s split lip, but she suppresses the wince that threatens to surface. It’s bad enough that she lost her shit in front of Near; like hell she’ll let Near see her look weak, too.

a world transformed (3/3)

rated T | 1,700 words

In which a gift transforms the way Near understands the world.

series: together (always)

kira investigation & post-kira

2 works; 7,040 words

i know i’m gonna lose you (but god, i don’t want to)

rated E | 3,540 words

Near’s bedroom— her tidy little suite in her untidy little makeshift headquarters in a high-rise hotel in Tokyo— is lit only by the shine of the city and the glow of the moon. Because the moon is full and because the city is bright, Mello can see her perfectly. Every little hair on her arms and legs catch the light as she sheds her soft, simple bra. The only thing Mello has taken off so far are her gloves. --- In which Mello rings in 2010 with some good old-fashioned lesbian sex and a minor emotional crisis.

it’s you and me, that’s my whole world

rated T | 3,500 words

Once she reaches the first floor and steps out of the elevator, Near hears a voice floating down the hall. It’s a woman’s voice, so it must be Lidner, but the pitch of it and the cadence of speech seems painfully similar to the way Mello talked, even without being able to hear the actual words. The closer she gets, the more it sounds like her dead lover, and Near curses how cruel her mind’s tricks are. She has to grit her teeth and breathe in deep to get herself to push through the door into the main office, feeling almost nauseous with grief again already. A blonde woman in a red winter jacket stands with her back to Near, but she turns when the toy in Near’s hand clatters to the ground. Mello’s eyes are tired, underlined by dark circles, but she grins. “Hey, Near.”

series: you got your eyes from the stars

2 works; 2,925 words

starry eyes sparking up my darkest night (1/2)

rated T | 930 words

Near has a nightmare on the flight back to New York after the end of the Kira case; Mello, still tipsy off of the red wine they served in first class, is unexpectedly tender.

fireworks somewhere far away (2/2)

rated T | 1,995 words

It’s the fourth of July. Or, rather, it’s still the fourth of July in the United States, which is where they live, but they’re in Madrid at the moment, so technically where they are it’s the fifth. It’s not hard math to figure out what time it is back home— it’s a little before six in the morning here, so it’ll be a little before midnight in New York. Somewhere on the West Coast or in the Rocky Mountains, though, there are fireworks going off. That’s what Near is thinking when Mello kisses her for the first time.

series: unforeseen circumstances

2 works; 10,515 words

unknown caller (1/2)

rated E | 3,300 words

“What are you wearing?” Near’s brow furrows in confusion. “What I always have worn.” “Mm. It’s summer, so— linen, right?” “Correct.” She wonders, then, if Mello asked the question to prompt Near to ask the same in return. Sometimes people do that. This is something she has learned since Mello left. “What are you wearing?” Near asks politely. “I am wearing,” Mello says, breathy, “black lace. It’s this— this fucking expensive set, you know— nice lingerie. I look good in it.” The description is extremely vague. Near does not know what nice lingerie looks like— she wears the same kind of cotton boyshort underwear every single day and a soft, thin bra. She also does not, honestly, know what Mello’s aim is in telling her this. It seems unlikely that she would call for the first time in five years to gloat about her finery, so there must be some kind of purpose to it, she just— “I’m touching myself,” Mello announces. Near drops the phone.

unexpected visitor (2/2)

rated E | 7,215 words

By the time Mello makes her way to New York and into Near’s bedroom, she has both seriously pissed Near off (by using the murder notebook to kill half her organization) and permanently disfigured herself (by blowing up a building while she was still inside it). She’d imagined slightly rosier circumstances for taking Near’s virginity, but Mello is nothing if not adaptable. She’ll make do or die trying.

standalone works (complete)

the end of a long winter

rated T | 2,025 words

Five years after the end of their relationship, Matt visits Mello in Minneapolis and meets her not-so-new girlfriend, whose face is a lot more familiar than he’d been expecting.

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leap day

rated E | 1,770 words

“Just— take my word for it. It’s a thing. The stuff that happens on leap day doesn’t count. It’s like Vegas.” / Near’s brow furrows. “As in Las Vegas?” “Yeah. You know the saying— what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” “But we live in Chicago.” “Holy shit,” Mello snaps, “that’s not the point! The point is— it’s— it’s leap day. We can do whatever. It doesn’t count. Are you in or not?”

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wedding doves & leather gloves

rated E | 1,000 words

“Don’t tell me,” Near says, derisive tone tainted by her words wavering. “You want to hear that I’m yours.” Exquisite pain blossoms across her scalp as Mello yanks on her hair. “Don’t be a fucking brat,” Mello hisses. “Answer me. What are you, Near?” “I’m a detective,” she replies flatly. “Just like you are.”

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crying only because i’m happy

rated E | 575 words

In which Mello lovingly overwhelms her good girl.

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magnetic forces

rated M | 1,250 words

Near and Mello’s flight back from their case is cancelled due to inclement weather. The timing is... suboptimal. In which Near discloses that she’s due to go into heat before they can return to headquarters, and Mello is extremely calm and normal about that.

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kiss and cry

rated M | 1,185 words

It’s like that, sometimes, on the ice. When she’s skating, and when Nat is. Mihaela goes out there and skates whatever program she’s gone with, and sometimes, in the middle, she feels Nathalie’s gaze so heavy and strong that it’s like her arms and legs aren’t her own. She lands a triple-axel perfectly, easily, and knows something unbelievable has occurred. She never tells Rod. She never tells anyone. It would make her sound completely mad.

standalone works (in progress)

bury us both

rated E | 23,438 words | 12/15 chapters

Mello is demonstrably capable of killing, and has perhaps more reason to want Near dead than anyone else on the face of the earth. They were once rivals, and Near knows a fragment of that resentment lingers even now. She is also likely the only person who could successfully bring Mello to justice, so her very existence is a threat to Mello’s, in a sense. If that weren’t enough, there is the fact that Mello could make a fortune, too, were she to kill Near. There are no shortage of people who would pay a handsome sum to see L’s head on a platter. And it would be so simple for her to do it, so easy. She’s had countless opportunities— the two of them alone, Near in all kinds of vulnerable positions, any number of potentially deadly weapons within reach— but she’s never taken one. Despite having every possible motive and every possible chance, Mello has not killed her. On more than one occasion, she’s even protected Near. This is how she knows Mello loves her in her way, even if she has not said it aloud. Even if it isn’t enough to make her stay. -- Mello and Near through the years, in love and in agony.

category: other

wrong idea

rated E | 2,700 words

She kept flirting with Near. Kept showing her the songs she was working on, sitting close to her on the couch to play her new melodies and try out her latest lyrics. Kept checking Near out in ways she knew weren’t subtle. It was little more than idle entertainment, initially— Near’s enthusiasm was endearing and encouraging, and it seemed sometimes like she might have a little crush on Mello— but it steadily developed into more. And then Mello started pushing her luck. Putting her arm around Near’s thin little shoulders, leaning in to tease her gently. Doing Near’s eyeliner after she complimented Mello’s. Giving Near rides on the back of her motorcycle and stealing candy for her from gas stations. Thinking about Near when she wasn’t around, often, and not at all innocently. Before she realized it, Mello had stopped trying to pick up other girls altogether, even at the gigs Near didn’t go to. She just didn’t want them. All she wanted was Matt’s girlfriend.

category: M/F

obedience training

rated E | 950 words | 2/2 chapters

When Near first puts the leather around his neck, Mello sort of wants to roll his eyes, but then she looks so pleased with herself that it’s very hard to begrudge her anything.

faded to oblivion

rated E | 3.6k words | 2/? chapters

When Near phoned and asked to see him, he had a few vague guesses as to what she might need from him. This was not on the list.

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i’m your man

rated E | 1,825 words | 3/? chapters

Near is an angel, and Mello her dog, a rotten-mean stray no-one else would have kept.