#cznnet

it was no longer just late nights jaemin spent talking to you. his early mornings were spent apologising for keeping you up late the night before and his afternoons full of mutual complaints about certain classmates, professors or assignments.

he would never forget to send a ‘how was your day?’ in the evenings even though you’d practically told him everything there was to tell, but he couldn’t care less–he simply couldn’t get enough of you.

at first, with how much he was texting you, jaemin’s roommates were worried he was going to become unhealthily obsessed and dependent on you, which, based on personal experience, was likely to lead to the last thing he wanted—heartbreak.

jaemin had seen it happen before, not to himself, but to his best friends.

renjun had fallen into a month-long slump after being cheated on by his girlfriend of almost three years; haechan once worked himself to exhaustion and earned himself a trip to the emergency room, all from trying to ignore the pain of being rejected by someone he thought was the one for him; jeno’s breakup with rina left him numbed to his core and convinced he was never going to be worthy of being truly loved.

although they were never his heartbreaks, it was painful enough to watch the people he held closest to him experience such heartache, what more if he went through it himself?

and so, in spite of jaemin’s longing for romance, he decided it was best to avoid getting entangled in the world of love and simply focus on other joys in life.

but family, friendships, and academic successes could only go so far in filling the romance-shaped hole in his heart, and every now and then, jaemin found himself envying the love that had made his friends so happy.

he often wondered what it would be to feel like that: to be so utterly and completely enamoured with someone and to have someone feel the same way about him, to be wholeheartedly appreciated by someone and finally receive the sheer amount of love that he was constantly giving everyone else.

as much as jaemin wanted to find that someone, to experience love, he knew it was too risky, and pledged to himself that he wouldn’t be taking that leap of faith any time soon.

at least, he thought he wouldn’t be.

your conversations eventually became less frequent as exam season approached; you were both too busy reviewing content and working to meet deadlines to talk as often as you had been doing. good morning texts turned into good luck texts and late night talks were replaced with late night study sessions, but, much to his best friends’ relief, jaemin didn’t seem to be too affected by the drop in your interactions.

with his melodramatic nature, they expected to see him moping around the apartment, writing ‘mr and mrs na jaemin <3’ in his notes instead of actually studying, or at the very least, staring at his phone longingly waiting for a notification from you. after all, they had all done something of the sort before.

to their surprise, the only obvious difference was that, at the end of the night, jaemin was falling asleep in front of his textbooks instead of his phone. they were glad to see that, despite their worries and jaemin’s own concerns, he wasn’t becoming too attached to you.

however, that didn’t mean that he didn’t miss seeing your name pop up on his phone. he would check his messages during every study break, and more often than not, he was met with nothing.

today seemed to be no different, but just as he was about to put his phone away, a ding resonated throughout the silent room. jaemin gasped, clasping his hands together and praying to whatever deities were listening that it was a message from you.

he quickly unlocked his phone, tapping the notification banner and letting it direct him right to where it came from.

and there it was, in the messages app—your name at the top of his conversations.

but rather than excitement, jaemin felt his heart drop to his stomach as he read your text: ‘hey, jaem. this is a bit out of the blue, but can i call you?’

he instantly assumed the worst of the worst—you were in danger. the campus was a safe enough space, but the city, especially late at night, definitely required more caution.

he typed out a response as quickly as possible, leaving autocorrect to fix his typos, ‘i’m just at home, you can call me. is everything okay? do you need picking up or something? i can come if you need me to’.

as if jaemin’s heart wasn’t already racing enough, the sound of his ringtone blasting from his phone had him jumping up from his seat in shock, tossing his phone in the air. after retrieving it from its unexpected flight, he read your name across the top of his screen and immediately pressed ‘accept’ with his shaky finger.

“hello? jaemin? um, it’s a facetime. could you, uh, maybe put your phone down somewhere? i-i can’t see you,” you said, your voice significantly less urgent than jaemin anticipated it to be.

“okay, okay,” he answered, balancing his phone against the pot of pens on his desk.

scrutinising your background, he breathed out a sigh of relief once he saw you in the comfort and safety of what looked like your bedroom. “oh, thank god, you’re okay.”

“why wouldn’t i be— oh, i just realised how you read my message. did you think i was in trouble? i’m safe at home, see.” you picked up your phone, swivelling the camera around to show jaemin there was nothing to worry about.

you turned the camera back around to face you, just in time to see him put a hand on his heart to calm his erratic heartbeat. “aww, i’m sorry for making you worried.”

of course, seeing jaemin all panicked wasn’t ideal. but the fact that he was panicked and ready to save you from a potentially dangerous situation that he knew nothing about was somewhat… endearing. something about his frantic response and the way his entire body relaxed when he saw you were completely fine ignited a warmth inside of you.

you didn’t realise he cared that much about you. nor did you realise how much you loved the idea of him caring about you so much.

he smiled at you, reassuring you that he was no longer in distress. your heartbeat sped up, drumming against your chest as if you’d just run a marathon. it had been so long since you’d seen that smile, you forgot just how beautiful it was.

“it’s okay,” jaemin said, snapping you out of your daze. “i’m glad you’re safe and sound. it’s been a while, how have you been?”

“yeah, it has. i mean, i’ve been better,” you chuckled, your comment eliciting another of those heart-wrenching smiles from jaemin. “how have you been doing?”

he sighed, running his hand through his hair. it was still that gorgeous honey shade you’d first laid eyes on all those weeks ago, but his darker roots were starting to show through. you briefly wondered what he’d look like with a full head of his natural colour, he would probably look just as good, if not better.

he cleared his throat before answering, alerting your attention and shifting your focus away from his luscious honey locks.

“well, i’ve been drinking more water and less coffee—i hope you’re proud of me, by the way—and spending most of my time either studying or working out the minimum mark i need to pass. as you can tell, i just love exam season,” jaemin said with a sarcastic smile, his nose scrunching up in a way that resembled a cute bunny.

you felt your cheeks burning up, immediately bringing your hands up to your face to cover any evidence of the effect he had on you. you quickly played it off like you were covering your mouth to laugh, forcing out a giggle.

“i am proud of you for that, jaem. so, uh, are you doing anything right now?” you asked, your eyes drifting to the notebooks and flashcards scattered across jaemin’s desk. “because if you’re busy, then it’s fine, i-i’ll figure something out.”

now self-conscious of his messy set up, jaemin cleared his things away as he responded, “no, it’s okay. i’m not doing anything, how come?”

“really? are you sure? i-i don’t wanna take away from any of your own study time…” your voice trailed off, feeling more and more like a bother as you watched him move his materials out of the frame instead of putting them away.

“i’m sure, y/n. don’t mind this,” he tilted his camera to show you the pile he pushed aside. “i’m just too lazy to put it all back. plus my next exam isn’t for another four days. i’m all yours for now. what can i do for you?” he said, his face lighting up as he gave you a smile that shone with sincerity.

there it was again, that warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest.

“well, i have an exam tomorrow, and i called you because i wanted to get one last study session in. usually, i get one of my roommates to test me on the content, but everyone’s busy doing their own work. if it’s not too much to ask, could you spare like, maybe half an hour or so for me?”

“of course i can.”

“thank you, i really appreciate it,” you said, mirroring his contagious grin.

“no problem. so, which exam is this again? the religion one?” he asked, resting his chin on his hand.

you smiled, touched at his efforts to remember what exams you had coming up. “ah, that one’s in about a week. tomorrow’s is on the metaphysics of mind.”

“huh? physics? what the heck does that even mean?” he said, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“you’re about to find out,” you paused, giggling at jaemin’s intrigued face. “this study method is essentially teaching someone else the topics you need to know. if i can remember enough to explain it to you in a way that makes sense, then it means that i know the content well.”

“ooh, i’ve never tried that before, but it sounds good.”

“yeah, i’ve been doing this since high school and it’s really helped me no matter what the subject was. it’s been especially helpful in philosophy though since we have to know a bunch of theories in detail,” you explained.

“ahh, that makes sense, i might give it a try one day. but, then again, i don’t exactly know if my friends will be willing to sit and hear about, like, pharmaceutical science or whatever,” jaemin chuckled at the mere thought of it, unable to imagine a scenario where his friends would actually listen to him talk about medicine instead of making immature jokes about drugs.

you felt the corners of your lips curve upwards as you watched jaemin’s eyes crinkle with joy. the eyes that sparkled with each melodic laugh, the eyes that made you feel like you were the only thing worth paying attention to. those beautiful, beautiful eyes.

you shook your head, trying to clear your mind of the distracting thoughts so you could get back on track. “well, if you ever wanna try it out, just know i’d be more than happy to listen.”

“thank you for the offer, i’ll keep that in mind. now, professor y/n, are you ready to go or what?” he sat up straight, miming opening a laptop, hands at the ready to ‘type’.

it took everything in you not to let his adorable actions distract you any further. you let out a light giggle, before clearing your throat and starting, “okay, i’m ready. so, first and foremost, there are two different types of theories of mind…”

before you knew it, an hour had flown by and you were on to the last of the six theories that could come up on your exam. half an hour was a poor underestimate and you made sure to apologise to jaemin once thirty minutes had passed. understanding as always, he reassured you that there was nothing to apologise for and encouraged you to carry on.

you were surprised to see that he wasn’t completely bored out of his mind. he seemed to be following along well, even asking questions to clarify what you’d said or summarising problems himself to make sure he had understood correctly.

jaemin raised his hands to his head, a gesture that you’d learned within the past hour meant that the content was about to click. “wait, wait, so the elimination materials–”

“the eliminative materialists, yes,” you corrected the cute mistake, letting him continue.

“oops, that’s what i meant. so they essentially destroy their own theory by saying beliefs don’t exist,” he fell silent for a few seconds before reaching his conclusion. “even though their theory itself is a belief?”

you gasped, feeling a sense of pride at having gotten a non-philosophy student to understand the entirety of the metaphysics of mind in just over an hour.

“yes, yes, that’s it, you got it. good job!” you exclaimed, giving jaemin a small round of applause.

“really? thank you,” he beamed at your praise, “so… what, do none of the theories work then? that’s a bit stupid, isn’t it?”

your applause ended abruptly as your hands fell to your lap. you let out a splutter, taken aback by his bluntness.

his eyes widened in shock at your reaction. “wait! that’s not, like, offensive to philosophers, right? oh my god, i’m so sorry, y/n. i take it back, please forgive me,” he bowed his head, making a big show out of apologising.

if it was anyone else, you would tell them to lift their head up because they looked silly and that they shouldn’t call the content you’re spending extortionate amounts of money to study ‘stupid’.

but, with jaemin, you couldn’t help but laugh at his genuine reactions and his dramatic apology. you couldn’t believe he thought it would offend you, but it was sweet that he was so worried about doing so.

if jaemin was being honest, he was exaggerating just a little bit, but you didn’t have to know that. all that mattered to him was bringing out that beautiful smile of yours that he had missed so dearly. so what if he looked like a fool?

as your laughter died down, you finally answered, “no offence taken. you’re right, though, they all have their problems. but that’s all the content we need to know so it’s not like we have to find one that works.”

“oh, we’re done? wow, that was a lot, but well done for getting through it all!” jaemin gave you your own round of applause, to which you played along with, bowing as if you had just received an award.

he laughed as you thanked your invisible audience, ever so grateful that you were too busy humbly bowing to notice the gigantic grin on his face.

“were there, uh, any particular parts you struggled in? ‘cause as far as i know, you were super thorough with everything. you clearly know your stuff,” he said as you turned back to face him.

“thank you, jaem. i feel like i did pretty good too, but i’ll check if i missed anything now,” you said, pulling out your notebook from your folder and skimming your notes. “uhh, i missed a few responses to some of the problems, but my professor said those are optional anyway. aside from that, i pretty much got everything!”

“woah, i’m so proud of you. you should be proud of yourself too, your hard work seems to have really paid off,” jaemin said, giving you two thumbs up.

you beamed at his praise, that same feeling of warmth returning to your chest. “jaem, you’re so sweet, thank you. and i am proud of myself, i just don’t wanna get overconfident and jinx myself for tomorrow.”

“ah, okay, i get that,” he nodded, “i feel like, even after all these years, i never stop being nervous for exams.”

“oh, me too. it never gets easier.”

“yeah, especially when the stakes get higher and higher with each one,” he huffed, slumping down in his chair.

“oh god, that’s right, i keep forgetting you’re in your last year.”

you owed your forgetfulness to the fact that you never felt a significant divide between you and jaemin. you weren’t fourth year and second year, you weren’t senior and junior, you were just friends. just friends.

“there’s probably a lot more pressure on these exams for you, right?” you continued, in an attempt to distract yourself from thinking about whatever feelings you had for jaemin and spiralling.

“as much as i don’t wanna think about it, yeah, you’re right,” he let out a soulless laugh, crossing his arms over his chest.

“oh, i didn’t mean to— i-i shouldn’t have mentioned it. i’m sorry,” you said, your heart dropping to your stomach at the thought of making jaemin feel bad. you didn’t know why, but it hurt to see him anything less than happy, and it hurt even more knowing it was your fault.

noticing the way your face fell, jaemin quickly swooped in to stop you from feeling any worse.

“hey, no need to apologise. fourth year is a lot of stress but, y’know, i manage,” he shrugged, giving you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

you tilted your head to the side, as if you were asking him ‘are you sure?’. at first, he refrained from elaborating, but there was just something about you that made him feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with you.

“well, sorting out med school and stuff is definitely a lot, especially when i’m dealing with uni at the same time. plus, exam season doesn’t make that any easier. oh, and i don’t even wanna think about the crippling debt i’ll be in after spending the next few years stuck in education whilst my friends are out in the world— and, that was a lot. i didn’t mean to dump all of that on you just then, i’m so sorry,” jaemin stopped himself, smacking his mouth for letting himself go too far. he partly blamed you for being so easy to talk to and such a good listener.

“oh, jaem, you don’t have to say sorry. remember, we promised that we can always rant to each other about anything, at any time. you can talk to me whenever you need it, okay?” you held your pinky out towards your phone, mimicking what jaemin had done in your first proper interaction with him.

he laughed, a genuine one this time, he seemed to have understood the reference. he lifted up his own pinky, pressing it against his camera and chuckling as he watched you do the same.

“thanks, y/n. it’s nice to be able to talk to someone about it, but it’s also nice to take my mind off of it completely, which is why i love doing photography.”

“oh yeah, you and jake call it your creative escape, right?”

“he does, i just call it a hobby like a normal person,” he joked, your jaw dropping at his little dig. “please don’t tell him i said that.”

you laughed at his reaction, before nodding and miming the zipping of your mouth shut.

jaemin continued, “anyways, if i’m being honest, i really do love having some time every week where i don’t have to hear about diagnoses, symptoms, anatomy, all that stuff. but i don’t just like photography as a distraction, i love capturing the memories i make with my friends and family. it’s nice to have concrete reminders of the people i love and the fun times we’ve spent together.”

“oh, i absolutely agree, i’m not as into photography as you or jake are, but i do love polaroids and i have a wall of them right…” you picked up your phone, flipping the camera to show him your collection, “here!”

jaemin brought his phone closer so he could take a better look. he carefully examined each picture and noticed that they all contained a common feature—you had the most carefree, joyous smile on your face in each and every one. no matter who you were with, no matter where you were, you looked completely and utterly content.

the longer jaemin spent looking at the pictures, the more he realised that he wanted to make you that happy.

“so, what do you think?” your voice broke through his reverie, and it was only then that jaemin noticed he’d just been staring at your wall without saying a word.

“sorry, i got distracted trying to look at each one, they’re all so cute. oh my god, how old are you in that bottom left one? you look so young.” his focus locked in on a photo of you in your school uniform, soaring through the air as one of your friends stood behind you after pushing you on the swings.

“oh gosh, i specifically remember that was when i was fifteen, ‘cause taehyun pushed me so hard that i was fully convinced that i was gonna die. i told him it was his fault if i didn’t make it to sixteen,” you laughed at the memory, a twinge of nostalgia hitting you as you realised just how much time had passed and how much had changed since then.

you sighed, flipping the camera back around to show yourself. “i just… i find it motivating to look up at my family and friends after hours working at my desk. it makes me feel less homesick too.”

“that’s so sweet, and you’re so— the pictures are so pretty,” jaemin said, internally cursing at himself for almost slipping up.

“wow, coming from photographer na himself? thank you, i’m honoured,” you proudly put a hand to your chest. “i’ve gotta say, it is my favourite part of my room. not just ‘cause it looks so cute, but the memories it brings back too. that’s what i love about polaroids, y’know? they’re so simple, no editing, no nothing, just a quick snapshot of a real moment. it reminds me that things don’t have to be so complicated to be beautiful.

“oh god, that was a bit… deep, wasn’t it? i blame professor kim’s philosophy of aesthetics class for doing this to me,” you facepalmed, cringing at yourself.

“hey, don’t be embarrassed,” jaemin said, shaking his head. “that was actually pretty—”

“y/n! sunghoon just came home with takeout to celebrate finishing his exams.” a shrill voice cut through jaemin’s words as the owner of said voice barged into your room.

you turned to see your roommate, yunjin, frozen in her tracks, “oops, sorry, i didn’t know you were… preoccupied.”

she shyly waved at jaemin, muttering a ‘sorry’ for interrupting.

“it’s okay,” he chuckled as he caught you rolling your eyes.

you huffed, glaring at yunjin. “so you interrupted my call to tell me this, why?”

“so rude, this one, isn’t she?” yunjin joked to jaemin, earning herself a light slap on the arm from you.

“says you? you literally interrup—”

“girl, calm down. i was just gonna tell you we’ve got free dinner.”

“free what now?” you raised your brow, your annoyance quickly dissipating.

“hoon bought enough food for all of us. he knows we’re not all done with exams yet but he got a better deal by ordering the combo meals. the boys are getting plates out now, come on.”

“oh, sweet! i’ll be there in a sec,” you said, directing your gaze towards the door.

yunjin nodded, understanding your not-so-subtle signal and heading out, “okay, but be quick.”

you hummed in response, turning to jaemin as soon as she’d left, “so sorry about that.”

“don’t worry about it, free food is way more important.”

“ugh, you get it,” you laughed. “hey, seriously, thanks again for your help today. i know that listening to me teach you about the different theories of mind probably wasn’t your ideal way of spending the night, but i really do appreciate it.”

“of course, any time,” jaemin smiled, “plus, it really wasn’t as boring as you think it was with those silly analogies you kept throwing in. i’ll definitely remember the octopus example.”

you couldn’t help but smile, proud that he remembered the example you’d used and relieved that he enjoyed your little lecture.

“i’m glad they kept you entertained. i wish my prof did that, then maybe i would’ve learned it quicker.”

“you might be better off teaching the class yourself next time,” he teased. “now go enjoy your meal, professor. i’m sure it’ll taste better knowing you didn’t have to pay for or make it yourself.”

“oh, it will, i can’t wait, i can already smell it… i think it’s chinese!” you gasped, shaking your shoulders with excitement.

jaemin chuckled to himself at your reaction. “eat well and drink lots of water, oh, and try to go to sleep early! you need a good rest for tomorrow. good luck, i’m sure you’ll do amazing on your exam.”

“thank you so much, jaem. you take care too, okay? i’ll get going now, bye,” you waved, giving him one last grin before you went to end the call.

“bye bye,” he said, continuing to wave even after your face disappeared from the screen.

it was strange how, even though he’d just spent the last two hours talking to you, jaemin wanted… more. he shook his head, dismissing the calls of his heart and favouring his brain’s interpretation that he just liked your company instead.

but if he just liked your company, would he have sat through a voluntary lesson about a subject he didn’t care about whatsoever? would he have made a fool of himself just to make you laugh? would he have wished to be one of those loved ones you spoke so dearly of and kept mementos of?

if he ‘just liked your company’, would he be considering taking that leap of faith for you?

Y/N CAM • REC

you stared at jake in silence, watching as he fiddled with his chopsticks whilst waiting for the food to come, “jakey?”

“hmm?” he answered, eyes fixed on the small tower he was making by stacking tiny, balled-up pieces of a napkin.

“you okay?” you asked, your voice laced with concern, “you didn’t even squeal when you saw the turtle-shell grill, is everything alright?”

jake let out a quiet giggle at your observation, putting his chopsticks down and abandoning his napkin tower, “yeah, everything’s fine, i’m just… tired.”

you raised a brow, not completely convinced by his answer. reaching across the table, you took his hand in yours, rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand, “hey, you know you can tell me when something’s bothering you, right? i’m not gonna force you to say anything if you don’t want to, but i’m here to listen, okay? i don’t like seeing you upset, what do i have to do to put a smile on your face, hm?”

you noticed jake’s lips curve upwards at your words, but the smile had yet to reach his eyes. he squeezed your hand and met your gaze, “thank you, y/n, really, but i promise i’m okay. i’ve just… had a long day, those morning classes are such a pain in the ass. ugh, i wish i’d taken up your coffee offer before.”

you still weren’t a hundred percent reassured by his answer, but you decided it was best not to push him for the truth. instead, you settled with the reply he gave, “ahh, okay, i’m glad nothing’s bothering you, but i’m still shocked you said no to free coffee.”

“i don’t know what got into me, i’ll be honest,” jake shrugged, retracting his hand from yours and running it through his hair.

“well, don’t you worry, i’ll buy you some coffee next time you take me to photography club,” you bit your lip, trying to hide your growing smile at the thought of seeing a certain someone again.

“next time? you wanna come next time?” jake cocked his head to the side, his face reminiscent of a confused puppy, “what’s with the sudden interest? don’t tell me you expect free food in return for helping me, you know i don’t have the funds for that!”

“actually…” you paused, inwardly debating whether to tell your best friend or not. “okay, can i tell you something and can you promise not to judge me? or tell anyone else?”

“judge you? i mean… depends how bad it is.”

“jake, i’m serious!”

“okay, okay, i promise! now, what is it, my dear?” he said, leaning in and placing a sympathetic hand on yours.

you pulled your hand out from under his, lightly smacking it, “i told you, you’ve gotta stop calling me that in public, people are gonna think we’re dating.”

jake shrugged, “so? you’re the one who held my hand before, hypocrite.”

the exaggerated pout on his face told you that he wasn’t being serious, but you didn’t want him to think that you were joking, “okay, that’s fair, but… it just— it can scare guys away! which i don’t have a problem with when it gets creeps to back off, but sometimes there are guys that i don’t want to scare off, y’know?”

your gaze trailed down to the grill on the table, unable to make eye contact with your best friend knowing your words were quite harsh. a few seconds went by with no reaction or reply from him, and although it seemed like you were too late, you scrambled to soften the blow.

“i-i’m not saying you have to stop doing those things, i still like the affection and the cute names but, maybe, i don’t know, you could save that for when we’re, uh, not in such a public place?”

“who is it?” jake asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

“wh-what do you— who… what?”

“hey, first things first, i’m not upset. if saving that stuff for when it’s just us or just friends is what you’re comfortable with, then ‘course i don’t mind doing that,” he shifted to lean his elbow on the table, relaxing his stance in hopes of relaxing you.

“what i meant was, well, i know you, y/n, and there must be a specific guy you don’t want scaring off, and, ah! that must be the ‘thing’ you were gonna tell me about, that’s why you didn’t want me to judge you or tell anyone. am i right or am i right?”

you blinked once, twice, in disbelief that jake was able to read you so well—it was a blessing and a curse. you opened and closed your mouth to speak, but nothing was coming out, earning you a loud giggle from the boy across you.

“your silence is telling me i’m right,” he said with a smug smile.

“okay, fine, yes, you’re right. i hate how accurate that was,” you sighed, trying to regain your composure.

“so… the guy?” jake asked, fed up from the anticipation.

“promise you won’t judge or tell anyone?” you held up your pinky in front of your best friend.

intertwining his finger with yours and placing his other hand on his chest as if he was swearing an oath, he declared, “i swear on my dog’s life, i won’t tell a soul.”

“good,” you nodded, “well, the guy is, uh, it’s someone you know well, he’s, hmm—”

“stop beating around the bush, who is it!”

“it’s jaemin!”

jake’s eyes widened as his jaw dropped, “jaemin? like na jaemin? like the med student jaemin, the photographer jaemin? the jaemin you met not even a few hours ago?”

“shhh!” you launched forward, pressing your hand against his mouth. “the whole restaurant does not need to know, and for the record, yes, it is that jaemin. and before you judge, which i’m pretty sure you already have, i’m not saying i like him or anything, i’m just, interested in him, let’s say.”

“interested? go on,” jake said to the best of his ability while your hand was still covering his mouth, prompting you to remove your hand and wipe it with your napkin.

“okay, ew. anyways, i-i don’t know, jaemin always sounded so sweet and funny whenever you told me about him, and, well, i saw that for myself today. he’s also, like, really really gorgeous, i couldn’t stop staring at him, and when he came up close to talk to me, i swear i almost fainted right there and then,” you paused to catch your breath, surprised at how easy it was for you to gush over someone you had, like jake pointed out, just met.

“but, like you said, i don’t even know him that well, which is why i’m glad he asked for my number so we can—”

“he asked for your number?”

“yeah, he asked for it so he could send the photos he took to me.”

“damn, i’m stealing that move from him, that’s smooth.”

“‘smooth’? ‘move’? y-you think he’s interested in me too? that he did it on purpose?” the mere idea of jaemin reciprocating your feelings had your heart rate speeding up.

“i-i don’t know anything! i mean, whaaat? what were you saying before i interrupted?” jake blinked rapidly, poorly covering up how suspicious he sounded.

you decided to ignore whatever it was he was hiding in case it gave you any false hope, and continued your point, “as i was saying, i’m glad he gave me his number, that way i can get to know him and stuff before jumping into anything. he was just… he was really nice and everything, i just wanna see how it goes, y’know?”

jake nodded, “ahh, okay, that sounds good. i hope it goes well for you, really. jaemin hyung’s a great guy, i can vouch for that, so no need to spend your early talking stage trying to figure out whether he’s a red flag or not.”

you laughed, cringing as the boy’s words reminded you of a past, failed fling, “oh, trust me, i don’t want a repeat of that. everything feels so much easier with jaemin, i have a feeling it’ll be different with him.”

JAEMIN CAM • REC

“get the drinks out, boys, we’re celebrating tonight!” haechan exclaimed, swinging the front door open and letting jaemin shuffle in behind him.

“it’s literally… thursday night,” jeno deadpanned, glancing up from the tv to give his roommate a look of concern, or was it confusion? jaemin was too preoccupied thinking about… someone else to tell.

haechan locked the door, passing jeno’s slumped figure on the sofa and making his way to the kitchen. scoffing, he muttered under his breath, “okay, when has that ever stopped you?”

unfortunately, he wasn’t quiet enough, as jeno shot up from the couch, ready to crush that little coconut head of his, but was quickly stopped by jaemin pulling him back down to sit and renjun interrupting the petty squabble.

“can you two shut the fuck up for a sec,” he looked up from what he was cooking, glaring as he pointed his spoon at jeno and haechan respectively. “you said we should be ‘celebrating’, right? that means… it went well with y/n! how was it then, jaem?”

haechan gasped, placing the cans of cider he’d retrieved from the fridge onto the counter, “oh my god, would you believe jaemin actually—”

renjun sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingers as he whipped round to face his infuriating friend, “sorry, is your name jaemin?”

jeno and jaemin’s (not so) muffled giggles broke through haechan’s silence, which spoke for itself.

nodding, renjun turned back to the boiling pot on the stove, “yeah, i thought so. go on, jaem.”

jaemin took a deep breath, trying to organise what felt like a million and one thoughts into coherent words, “to be honest, i-it felt… like a dream. i must’ve blacked out or something, it was like some super confident version of me took over. i still can’t believe that i winked at her, practically held her hand, asked for her number and got it. oh, and she even gave me her instagram without me asking.”

“sorry, what? you got her number and held her hand and you— my god, i need some time to process the fact that you did all of that,” jeno placed a hand on jaemin’s shoulder, before quickly turning it into a hug. “shit, man, i’m proud of you.”

“damn, you go, jaem!” renjun cheered from the kitchen, his face beaming with pride for his best friend’s multitude of successes, “so y/n’s definitely single then? ‘cause you’re in a good position right now to start getting closer to her if she is.”

“yup,” haechan answered, “i checked with her friend jake, and jaemin’s got the green light. jake even said he’d help him out if he needed, but as if our jaemin will need his help, right?”

jaemin’s eyes widened, looking frantically from jeno beside him to the boys in the kitchen, “uh, well, you’re kinda overestimating my skills, hyuck.”

“oh no,” he shook his head, chuckling. “no, no, no, i know you’ll need help but you’ve got us! y’know, since we’ve actually gotten this far with girls before.”

renjun’s stirring slowed to a stop as his jaw dropped, and jeno whipped around, burying his face in the couch cushions to suppress his laughter.

“yah!” jaemin stood up, pointing a threatening finger at haechan. on any other occasion, he would’ve found the teasing funny and laughed it off, but jaemin’s furrowed brows and stern tone told the boys otherwise.

“ah, i crossed the line, didn’t i? sorry, sorry,” haechan said, holding his hands up in surrender.

jaemin sighed as he slumped back down onto the sofa, burying his head in his hands, “no, i’m sorry. i really do appreciate your help and support, because, you’re right, i have no idea what i’m doing. i just— i really really don’t wanna mess up with y/n, and i’m grateful that you guys are willing to help me out, but it would be nice if you let me figure some things out myself too.”

jeno ruffled his best friend’s hair, giving him a supportive pat on the back as he replied, “of course we can do that! i know that sometimes we get involved in each other’s business without being asked, but we do it because we care, even though it’s not always the best way of showing it.”

“yeah,” haechan added, abandoning the drinks and joining his roommates on the couch. “we just want the best for you but we don’t wanna get there by overstepping your boundaries or anything.”

“i agree! with both of those things,” renjun shouted from the kitchen as he plated their dinner, “sorry, they kinda said everything i was gonna say. oh, by the way, food’s ready!”

jaemin chuckled, “thank you guys, honestly. uh, also, this might sound a little contradictory now, but i just realised that i never gave y/n my number. can you help me figure out how to word my first message to her? while we eat, of course, i’m not gonna let the food renjunnie worked so hard on go cold.”

“oh my god, yes!”

“i’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life, not even kidding.”

“at least someone appreciates my hard work!”

the enthusiastic squeals eventually died down and the next thirty (yes, thirty) minutes were spent meticulously drafting a message to you, with the occasional distractions of renjun’s delicious stew and debates over what your contact picture should be.

“okay, i’m pretty sure you can send it now,” haechan said and was met with nods of agreement.

“pretty sure?! pretty sure isn’t sure enough for me, i’m checking it one more time,” jaemin shook his head, placing his phone on the table and reading the text aloud.

“‘hey y/n, it’s jaemin, just letting you know since i didn’t get to give you my number before. by the way, i haven’t managed to start editing the pics just yet but i’ll let you know how they look once i do, smiley blushy face emoji’. are we sure it’s not too much?” his fingers hovered over the screen, prepared to alter the message for the umpteenth time.

“jaemin, my guy,” jeno placed his hands on jaemin’s in reassurance. “we’ve said it before and we’ll say it again—it sounds fine. and it’s not too much either, the text isn’t dry and the fact that you mentioned the photos means she can start a conversation about it, so you’re less likely to be left on read.”

“plus, y’know, it’s too late now. jeno just sent the text,” renjun pointed out nonchalantly, directing everyone’s gazes to the blue text bubble on the screen and jeno’s hand stacked clumsily on top of jaemin’s… on top of the phone.

jaemin yelped, yanking his hands away and turning his phone off. he squeezed his eyes shut, not ready to accept what happened nor even think about getting a response any time soon.

“i-i’m sorry! i was just trying to make you feel better, i didn’t realise i was gonna press send. we can turn airplane mode on if you want so it doesn’t send! or we can—”

in the midst of jeno’s flurry of apologies, a small ding resonated through the kitchen, followed by another, as the screen illuminated, showing two notifications from messages.

“no. way.” jaemin breathed out, eyes now open and glued to the notification banner. a quick glance over at his wide-eyed friends with their jaws hanging open told him that they were all anticipating the same thing.

“open those notifications, open them right now, na jaemin!” haechan said, more of an encouragement than a demand.

jaemin quickly came to his senses, scrambling to unlock his phone, as the other boys leaned forward to get a closer look at your replies.

“my god, she’s quick,” renjun commented, shuffling closer to read the messages.

“‘thanks for letting me know, saved it now hehe smiley face’. mission accomplished, jaem, she has your number and she replied!”

“ooh, and it seems like your conversation starter worked,” haechan took over for the second, longer message.

“‘speaking of pics, jake never lived up to his ‘threat’ and he took some photos of me at dinner, wanna help me pick which ones to post?’ wait, is she talking about when jake said he would stop taking her instagram photos if she didn’t listen to him?”

jaemin couldn’t hide his wide grin as he nodded, remembering that he was the reason you were so preoccupied.

“well, don’t just sit there blushing like a tomato, answer! you don’t wanna leave her on read for too long, do you?” jeno lightly smacked jaemin on the arm, prompting him to type out a quick ‘sure!’.

once again, they all gathered around the phone, waiting to see the three dots pop up or hear another notification alert. moments passed with no dots nor dings, all that could be seen was a faint ‘delivered’ as the screen slowly faded to black from lack of activity.

“it’s fine, it’s fine,” jaemin shrugged, forcing out a laugh. “she’ll respond later… probably, right? you know what, doesn’t matter, i shouldn’t be so bothered about it, does anyone want another cider?”

before he could even leave his seat, renjun gently tugged his arm, sitting him back down, “jaem, stop stressing, and don’t say ‘i’m not stressing!’ because we know you well enough to know that you definitely are. how about you turn your phone off for the time being, hmm? i know you want things to go well with y/n, but try not to let yourself depend on her too much, okay?”

“he’s right, trust me, it’s awful—obsessively checking if you’ve gotten a notification from a certain someone and letting it ruin your day when you haven’t. y’know, just speaking from experience,” haechan added, earning a nod of agreement from jeno.

“yeah,” jaemin sighed, turning his phone off as renjun suggested. “you guys are right, thank you. you’re probably gonna need to remind me of that a lot, i just– the last thing i want is to get heartbroken.”

jeno placed a hand on jaemin’s shoulder, “we’ll do everything in our power to make sure you don’t get hurt, jaem.”

for the next few hours, jaemin decided to keep himself busy and distract himself from thinking about you. but it was as if the universe didn’t want him to get you out of his head.

washing the dishes reminded him of the lazy roommate you told him about earlier. showering with music on to block out his thoughts? the song that came on shuffle had played earlier while he was taking pictures of you. even reading through his stupid ‘ethics in medicine’ textbook reminded him of you and your passion for your major. before he knew it, the thought of you had infiltrated anything and everything that he did, whether he liked it or not.

“fuck it,” jaemin muttered to nobody in particular, finally turning his phone back on. impatiently tapping his finger against the side of his case, he watched, waiting for the screen to load.

as soon as it turned on, he rushed to unlock it, his hands shaking as he went to click on the messages app. he would be lying if he said his heartbeat didn’t speed up when he saw a ‘6’ hovering next to the icon. before even opening the app, jaemin took a few deep breaths, preparing himself for the worst.

those six messages could be from multiple people—it could be jaehoon sending the notes from the lecture he missed the other day, it could be his mum nagging him about not getting enough sleep, it could be renjun asking for more toilet paper because someone had forgotten to replace the empty roll earlier.

even as he considered all the completely rational possibilities, he still couldn’t come to terms with the idea that the messages could be from anyone but you.

he squeezed his eyes shut and tapped the icon, slowly opening one eye, and then the other to confirm what he thought he’d seen. you had, in fact, sent jaemin six messages almost half an hour ago.

the knowledge that his mental torture could have ended earlier only passed his mind briefly, as he was more bothered by the fact that he had ignored you for so long.

he opened the messages, smiling fondly at the short apology you sent for responding so late because your data wasn’t working. his eyes naturally drifted to the pictures you’d sent, the beat of his thumping heart rivalling that of a deafening drum as he looked closer.

it hadn’t been long since jaemin last saw you but the way your enchanting smile shone like the bright, blazing sun made him feel like he was being welcomed into a brand new day. a giggle escaped his lips when he swiped to the last photo, depicting you mid-laugh, trying to cover your face with your hands but failing to hide those adorably crinkled, sparkling eyes of yours.

‘as an extremely professional photographer, i personally think that they’re all great and you should post them all but i think you look prettiest in the last one,’ jaemin typed out and sent, exiting the app as soon as possible to stop himself from overthinking his response and stressing out about when you’d reply.

feeling the corners of his lips starting to curl upwards, he buried his face in his pillow in embarrassment, but even that couldn’t stop the massive grin from growing. the ring of a notification had him darting upwards, letting out a little squeal when he saw your name on the banner.

‘thank you, mr professional photographer na, the last one’s my favourite too, i’ll post them all with that one as the cover :) since ur such a pro, can you help me choose a caption too?’

never had a simple colon and closed parenthesis made jaemin kick his feet and giggle before, but the thought of you smiling so sweetly behind your screen as you messaged him had his heart racing and his cheeks reddening.

he quickly replied with an ‘of course!’ and, before he knew it, there was no longer that anxious wait between him sending messages and you replying. as the conversation went on, jaemin gradually felt at ease talking to you, his responses coming naturally rather than being carefully crafted and analysed. although the beating of his heart was still erratic, there was something so comfortable, so natural about talking to you that made his worries and everything else around him simply drift away.

that was the first of many late nights jaemin chose to spend with you.

Y/N CAM • REC

“thanks for agreeing to come so last minute,” jake smiled, fiddling with the straps of his camera bag as you walked side by side to the film and media building.

“oh, it’s no problem,” you naturally mirrored his grin, “how come hoon couldn’t make it though?”

“ah, he forgot his sister was performing at her school’s dance festival tonight, his parents came and picked him up before,” he explained, his steps slowing down as he checked the time on his phone.

you glanced over at your best friend and matched his new pace, “please, i was gonna say, when would park sunghoon ever pass up the chance to be your model?”

“that’s true, the man’s in love with his own beauty,” jake cupped his face with his hand, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at the way he mocked your friend. “y’know as his photographer, his confidence is so helpful when i’m shooting, but as his friend? it makes me want to bash my head into a brick wall.”

you threw your head back in laughter, placing a hand on jake’s arm to steady yourself, “should i be worried for my shoot then or…?”

“absolutely not, y/n, you could never annoy me to that extent,” he reached to grab your hand, giving it an affectionate squeeze. his touch lingered on yours for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and let go.

“wow, i’m flattered,” you paused to let three eager film students and their bulky equipment get past you, “also, i was thinking we could go get dinner after this. i’ll pay, since you did last time—take it as an apology for being embarrassing in front of your friend last week.”

jake winced at the memory of you rushing him and interrupting his conversation with jaemin, “well, apology accepted, do i get to choose where?”

“sure! uh, within a reasonable price range though,” you quickly added, remembering the many packages that were on their way from nights of (un)necessary online shopping.

“hmmm, i’m craving meat… can we go to that korean barbeque place with the turtle-shell grills? i love it there!” the boy was practically jumping up and down in excitement, and you knew you could never say no to him.

“sounds good, jakey! y’know my wallet happens to love it there too, they have a student discount,” you nudged him with your elbow, ending up accidentally winding him in the process.

muttering a few ‘sorry’s and gently rubbing the spot you’d hit a little too hard, jake opened the door to the studio eunjin had told them to meet in. as you laid eyes on a room of unfamiliar people, you subconsciously stuck closer to the only person you knew, bowing to eunjin just as jake had done, and following him to a spot where someone you thought you recognised was beckoning him over to.

“over here, jake!” the boy with the honey-brown hair waved, a pretty smile on his face that you couldn’t seem to take your eyes off of.

“jaemin hyung! you know y/n, right?” jake nodded towards you, and you took that as a sign to detach yourself from his side, waving at the two older boys.

“ahh yes, i remember,” jaemin waved back, and gesturing next to him, he introduced his friend, “oh, and this is haechan.”

“the haechan that convinced your mutual friend that your name was ‘daeman’ for three months?” jake’s jaw fell open, recalling one of the many stories jaemin had told him about his best friends and housemates.

“yup, the man, the myth, the legend himself,” jaemin rolled his eyes at haechan’s announcement. “pleased to meet you both,” he took a dramatic bow, his humorous actions melting your nerves, “i’ve heard a lot about you!”

“lee haechan!” jaemin gritted his teeth at his friend, his eyes widening in shock and embarrassment, “haha… what he meant by that was, uh, i, um, i sometimes tell the guys about what happens at photography club and you’re usually in those stories, jake.”

“wow, i’m honoured to be the main character of your stories, hyung,” jake proudly put a hand on his chest, “ah, that’s right, do you know why eunjin noona asked us to bring someone with us today?”

before jaemin could even answer, eunjin called for the room’s attention, “good afternoon, everyone! for those of you who came as models today, thank you and a warm welcome to you all. my name is kang eunjin and i’m the president of the photography club. i’ll be leading today’s session, where we’ll be taking photos for split-personality portraits. however, i don’t expect the models to be dressed for a split-personality look, instead, you will be paired with another photographer and model.”

out of the corner of your eye, you saw jake glance over at jaemin, tilting his head as if to ask him if he wanted to partner up, to which he was met with a nod and an eager thumbs up.

“next week, using the photos from the two models, you’ll be editing those photos to create a split-personality portrait containing each model. i recommend you choose someone who has a similar style to you, but what you decide to do with your models will be completely up to the two of you. you can create as much of a contrast between them as possible, or make them appear as similar as possible, whatever you’d like. we have enough backdrops set up so that none of the groups have to share. you have an hour so, go wild, and don’t forget, you can come to me if you have any questions!” eunjin concluded, as everyone hurried to find partners that they were satisfied with.

meanwhile, your little group had already decided for themselves, claiming the white backdrop you’d been lingering by for the past few minutes.

you watched as jaemin and jake set up the lighting and discussed their ideas for the shoot whilst you stood to the side, checking your face in your phone’s camera to ensure you looked, at the very least, decent.

“sorry if i was a bit much before,” haechan popped up behind you, making you jump. “my friends always tell me to tone it down when i’m meeting new people but, well, i can’t help but let my natural charm shine through.”

you laughed, his interesting sense of humour and overflowing self-confidence reminded you of your friend sunghoon, and the familiarity made you feel more comfortable, “that’s okay, sunbae, it definitely helped me feel less nervous, since i don’t really know anyone here except from jake.”

“no problem but, hey, none of that sunbae stuff,” he shook his head, “you can just call me haechan. i know i’m a fourth year and all but it just… it makes me feel ancient.”

“okay then, haechan,” you felt much more at ease speaking casually, “what’s your major? i’m a philosophy major, second year.”

“ooh, philosophy! i have a friend who’s doing his masters in philosophy. i double major in business and psychology, since i wanna go into consumerist psychology after graduating.”

“woah, that sounds so cool– oh, um, i think you’re, uh, needed,” you tapped his shoulder and pointed at jaemin, who currently had his arms crossed and lips pursed, sending glares at the chatty haechan.

“well, thank you, y/n! i was starting to think he was deaf or something,” jaemin stuck his tongue out at his friend, who was mocking him in a high-pitched voice as he made his way over to the backdrop.

you tried to hold back your laugh at their immature antics, covering your mouth with your hand. who would’ve thought that those two were older than you, let alone grown adults.

the childish bickering didn’t last long though; as soon as haechan had the lens pointed at him, his professionalism settled in and, if you hadn’t known any better, you would’ve thought he was actually a model.

your gaze, however, quickly drifted away from him and landed on the man behind the camera. you couldn’t pinpoint it, but there was just something so charming about the way jaemin calmly led the shoot, instructing haechan on how to pose and adjusting the light to various angles to capture the perfect shots.

he looked just as enchanting, if not more, with a serious, concentrated expression on his face instead of a beaming grin, as he monitored his progress and shared his results with his partner.

“hey, jake, i know i’m sending haechan’s photos to you anyway, but i think it would be good if you got some shots of your own in, they’ll look more consistent and it’ll make it easier for you when you’re editing,” jaemin stepped back, encouraging jake to take his place.

“okay, sounds good, we’ll start y/n’s shots in a bit then,” you snapped out of your daze when you heard your name, giving your best friend a nod of understanding, even though you had no idea what he was talking about.

“sorry for keeping you waiting for so long,” the last thing you expected was the boy you’d been staring at for the past fifteen minutes to appear next to you. “i’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to this stuff,” he let out a breathy laugh, drumming his fingers on top of his camera.

you placed a hand on your chest to calm your rapid heartbeat–caused by the shock of jaemin’s unexpected presence, or maybe by jaemin himself; let’s just say it was both.

“oh, no worries, i actually enjoyed watching you… photograph! it was nice watching you, uh, work, yeah!” your little slip-up made you want to bash your head into a brick wall.

“i mean, i don’t know much about photography, but you looked like a real professional back there,” you said in an attempt to revive the conversation.

your compliment brought a shy smile to his face, “thank you, but i’m no expert, i just like taking photos for fun.”

“who said you can’t be an expert at something you do for fun? it’s not like those things are… oh, what’s the word! they’re not, they’re not, uhh—”

“mutually exclusive?” jaemin knew he had gotten exactly what you meant by the way your mouth fell open slightly and you nodded at him.

“yes, that! of course you knew, you’re a stem major, right?” you vaguely remembered jake mentioning how they had bonded over photography being their creative escape.

“yikes, is it that obvious? it’s not the eyebags, is it? i promise it’s not because of the heavy workload, it’s just ‘cause i have an awful habit of having coffee at night. jeno’s trying to help me limit it to the mornings but— i-i’m so sorry, i’m rambling, aren’t i?” jaemin’s lively speech came to an end as he forced a laugh to cover up his embarrassment.

his shyness from before quickly returned, but you had to admit, you liked his chattiness, and you didn’t want him to stop any time soon. it was almost… cute?

you shook your head lightly, as if that would physically rid yourself of the thought, “it’s okay! i’m usually the one that’s doing the rambling so i don’t mind at all. plus, i only know you do medicine because jake told me that his brother was in the same biochem class as you last year.”

“ahh, that’s right,” the older boy sighed, “i’m guessing you’re an arts major, then?”

“humanities, actually. i do philosophy, which some people think is a social science but i personally don’t think it really fits, even though it has its links in psychology, and i guess sociology too if we’re talking about—” you brought your hand up to your mouth to stop yourself before you went any further, “haha, y-you don’t need to know all that. sorry, this is exactly what i meant before.”

“no, no, it’s fine!” jaemin reassured you, that pretty smile was back on his face, “oh, that reminds me, i was meaning to ask if you would mind giving me your number before, so i could send you the pictures we take today.”

it took you a moment to register what he had said, but once you did, you didn’t waste any time. “o-of course, yeah, that’s fine! i’ll even give you my socials while we’re at it,” you took his phone that he held out to you and typed in your number.

“just out of curiosity, how exactly did me going on about my major remind you to get my number? if anything, if i were you, i would’ve been put off of asking.”

jaemin let out a giggle, taking his phone back from you, “well, after you apologised, i was thinking, if you were ever desperate to have a long rant but had nobody to rant to, i wouldn’t mind being the one to listen to that—after all, i met you properly like, what, not even an hour ago? but you’ve already heard about my housemates and my crippling caffeine addiction, if you were anyone else, i can’t guarantee i would’ve even spoken.”

you would be lying if you said your heart didn’t skip a beat when you heard jaemin’s answer, “oh, you’re so sweet, and, hey, same goes for you. you can ramble to me about anything, just promise me you won’t block me if i spam you too much?”

“yes, as long as you don’t block me if i text you at ungodly hours of the night.”

he laughed as he intertwined his pinky with yours, the sudden warmth of his touch had your breath hitching at the back of your throat. it took a moment for you to regain your composure, and when he eventually responded, you could barely hear him over the deafening thumping of your heart.

“of course—”

“ahem, miss y/n!” jake’s loud cough brought your attention to him, reminding you that you weren’t in fact in a world of your own with jaemin, but a studio instead, “get here now or you’re losing your instagram photographer privileges.”

you were immediately distracted from your best friend’s empty threat when you felt jaemin press his thumb pad against yours, locking your promise. he leaned closer to you, lowering his voice slightly, “you should go, if jake keeps his word and you ever need a photographer for your instagram pics, you have my number,” he flashed a smile at you as he let go of your hand, gesturing for you to join your impatient friend.

even as you positioned yourself against the backdrop, you couldn’t take your eyes off of jaemin, nor forget the way his hand felt against yours.

JAKE CAM • REC

jake clicked through the shots he’d taken, his eyes flitting between the screen and your face, checking for your approval, “y’know, if you’re happy with these, then we don’t need to do any more, i’ve got enough pictures to choose from.”

you nodded, satisfied with your photos, “yup, they’re all good! not that i expected anything less from you, jakey. does that mean we’re done then?”

the boy felt the warmth rush to his cheeks at your compliment, hiding his reddening face by immersing himself with the settings of his camera. he cleared his throat before answering, “i-i mean, i’ve got all that i need but, hey, jaemin hyung, do you wanna get a few pics too?”

“oh, yeah,” jaemin was already picking up his camera and reaching to adjust the lighting after jake’s reminder, “don’t worry, y/n, i won’t keep you too long.”

you giggled, making your way back over to your spot by the backdrop, “it’s fine, you don’t mind waiting, right, jake?”

he looked up from his camera, nodding, “course not, i’ll start putting my stuff away now so i don’t end up being the victim of your hangry rage again.”

your jaw dropped at your best friend’s not-so-subtle dig, “hey, watch your mouth, unless you wanna pay for your own food later.”

even when you were trying to be intimidating, jake couldn’t help but find you cute, his teasing scowl dissolving into a wide grin when you furrowed your eyebrows and glared at him, “sorry, sorry!”

“you better be!” he heard you say as he went to return the lighting gels he’d used, sneaking a few glances at you every now and then to check how you were doing with jaemin.

“oh, you’re done already?” haechan said out of the blue, shocking jake to the point where he almost dropped his camera.

“hyung! ah, you scared me,” the younger boy steadied himself and placed his camera in its bag before he could do any damage.

“damn, that’s the second time that’s happened today, am i that scary? or was i just that quiet?” haechan asked, more to himself than to jake.

“no, no, i just get spooked easily. trust me, my friends love taking advantage of that,” he chuckled, “but yeah, we finished already, jaemin hyung’s just getting a few photos of y/n as well.”

“oh, okay, that was quick, you two must work well together, huh?” haechan looked down at the time on his phone, and then at you in front of the backdrop, following the poses that he’d been doing before.

jake followed his gaze, a smile naturally making its way onto his face, “yeah, i’ve been using her for my photos since high school, so i guess she’s just gotten used to what to do by now.”

“ah, i was watching you guys take pictures before and you just seemed to work so well together. that, plus how you were teasing each other, had me wondering whether you were, y’know, together,” haechan shifted his focus back onto jake, his eyes widening out of curiosity.

“oh, uhh, t-together, as in like–”

“like, are you and y/n dating?”

jake’s face fell as soon as the question came out of haechan’s mouth. of course he knew what he meant by ‘together’, he just didn’t want to believe it was what he thought. it wasn’t like he’d never heard the question before—in fact, he’d been asked that countless times—but, my god, did he hate it.

noticing jake’s uneasy expression, haechan was quick to apologise, “oh, was that too far? i’m sorry, i-i was just being nosy, i didn’t realise it would make you feel uncomfortable–”

“no, it’s okay, i was just… surprised is all,” jake tried to cover his discomfort with a smile, eyes darting around the room to look at anything but you.

now, it wasn’t the question itself that jake despised; if he was being honest, he secretly loved the assumption that you and him were dating. what he hated was the answer—the fact that the answer wasn’t yes.

“no, w-we’re not together,” jake mumbled, wincing as he spoke the words that shattered his heart.

“sorry, what did you say? your club president was yelling something, i couldn’t hear you properly,” haechan leaned closer to him in an attempt to block out eunjin’s voice.

“we’re… not together,” jake said through gritted teeth, trying to ignore the lump in his throat.

“oh…” haechan replied. his lacklustre response was followed by a few beats of awkward silence before he properly reacted, “well, that’s great!”

jake’s head snapped up, confused at his unexpectedly positive reaction, “wh-what?”

“yeah!” haechan enthusiastically nodded. “i was just checking because, and you didn’t hear this from me, but,” he lowered his voice, subtly gesturing towards you and jaemin.

“someone has taken an interest in y/n and wanted to know whether or not he had a chance with her before he went ahead and made a move.”

all jake could do was let out a quiet “really?”, too focused on the fact that the broken pieces of his fragile heart had just been stomped on and destroyed.

“mhm, so, just making sure, you guys definitely aren’t together, right?” haechan asked for confirmation, “oh, and she isn’t with anyone else, is she? there’s nobody else she’s interested in or involved with right now?”

for a moment, jake considered saying yes–yes, there was someone else for you, someone you’d known and loved for years, someone who just didn’t know it yet. it was just one little white lie, right?

but, would it really be worth it? would robbing you of the chance to be with a kind and caring partner who would cherish you and treat you right be worth a few more months of silent, aching pining? it would hurt him to see you with someone else, but his feelings had no right getting in the way of your happiness. your love life wasn’t his to control, and he loved you too much to sabotage you like that.

taking a deep breath, jake faced haechan with a much more sincere smile, “no, there’s nobody jaemin hyung needs to worry about, and i’m happy to, y’know, help him out with y/n if he needs it.”

his eyes drifted over to you, huddled over jaemin’s camera, laughing at whatever he’d just said. jake felt his heart swell at the sight–even if he wasn’t the one behind that beautiful smile of yours, he was content knowing the person that was was someone he trusted and knew would make you happy.

“really? thanks, man, i know jaem will really appreciate it,” haechan’s voice drew jake out of his distracted daze.

“of course,” he answered, his focus on you unwavering, “anything for y/n.”

JAEMIN CAM • REC

“jaem, food’s here, you can finish that later,” jaemin looked up from his computer after countless hours of meticulous editing to see jeno leaning against the doorframe, impatiently tapping his foot.

“mmm, yeah, be right there,” jaemin hummed, with absolutely no intention of getting up within the next few seconds.

jeno rolled his eyes at his housemate. he knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t be moving from his desk any time soon, “hmph, okay, but hurry up or renjun and haechan’ll beat you to the couch and you know you get all huffy when you have to sit on the floor.”

“i don’t get huffy,” jaemin scoffed, shutting off his computer and getting up from his chair, momentarily holding onto it for balance as he’d underestimated just how long he’d been glued to it, “i’m not getting up because you said that, i’m getting up because i don’t want the terrible two to take my favourite soju flavours before i get there and leave me the strawberry one.”

jeno chuckled as he signalled for jaemin to snag their spots on the living room sofa whilst their other housemates finished laying out the pizza and chicken they’d ordered.

once haechan had stopped complaining about how he deserved the best spot since he paid for the food, the four friends sat down and enjoyed their delicious meal accompanied by whatever show jeno had come across whilst flipping through channels. four full stomachs and five empty soju bottles later, the boys piled together messily on the couch, their drunk conversations drowning out the sound of the show playing and reducing it to background noise.

“soooo, lee jeno, are we not gonna talk about the guest you brought home last night?” renjun teased, rubbing his flushed cheeks against his best friend’s side.

“ahh, well, what was her name again–”

“you forgot her name?” an equally red jaemin sat up from haechan’s lap, his droopy eyes now wide open, “you brought her home and you don’t know her name?”

jeno slowly shook his head, lightly hitting jaemin’s chest, “calm down, she’s an international student and she has an english name so it was harder to remember… ah! it was lila, she was at the bar last night when the basketball game was on, and she seemed kinda bummed when the team she supported lost so–”

“you made her feel better about it by making her feel good blah blah blah, i don’t care about how you worked your charm, what i wanna know is why she practically ran out of here saying ‘i’m sorry’ over and over,” renjun said, earning himself a slap from jeno for both interrupting and exposing him.

“i was getting to that,” jeno huffed as he recalled this morning’s events, “well, uh, you see, when lila first came to korea she befriended… rina.”

“your ex rina?!” haechan’s high-pitched exclamation had the rest of the boys covering their ears with their hands.

“no, the waitress at the sushi restaurant rina,” jeno deadpanned, “of course, my ex rina! lila didn’t recognise me until this morning because, well, i-it was dark… and we, we weren’t exactly fully sober. but when she did, she pretty much left as soon as she could, saying that she felt awkward for getting with her closest friend’s ex and that she wasn’t gonna contact me again for the sake of their friendship.”

“damn.”

“that’s… unfortunate.”

“yikes.”

“i know,” jeno carelessly reached for another bottle of soju, taking a swig, “it’s rough.”

“you’re not the only one going through it,” renjun piped up, holding a shot glass in front of jeno’s bottle, gesturing to pour him some. after tipping the burning liquid down his throat, he sighed, “i stopped talking to chaeyeon, well, more like she stopped talking to me. she said she was never really that into me and that she just needed someone to entertain her for a bit so—”

snatching the bottle from jeno, renjun took another pitiful sip, the rest of the boys giving him sympathetic pats on the back or reassuring him that he’d find someone soon enough or maybe it was for the best.

“seems like none of us are having much luck with relationships lately,” haechan said, “i asked hyeyoon if she wanted to go on a third date any time soon and… she ghosted me.”

“oh dear,” jaemin winced, the second-hand embarrassment sending shivers down his spine. “renjun-ah, don’t hog that bottle, give hyuck some too,” he gripped the green bottle, lowering his voice, “come on, he needs this just as much as you do.”

he whined but gave in, handing the drink to his slightly more sober friend, “i assume you don’t have any news regarding your non-existent love life, jaem?”

“that’s meannnn, jun,” jeno lightly hit renjun again, this time for the snarky comment, “wait, jaem, what’s that face for? surely… no, it can’t be.”

the boy shrugged, the dreamy smile on his face completely unmoved. “well,” he paused to grab their attention, “there is this one girl…”

those words alone seemed to sober up jaemin’s best friends, as they all sat up, jaws agape and anticipating gazes on him. it was rare for jaemin to ever contribute to these conversations besides from providing emotional support or advice, so the mere mention of a girl on jaemin’s mind had piqued their interest. as he opened his mouth to continue, the boys simply hoped that it was going to be more than just another of his fleeting attractions.

JAEMIN CAM ■ GALLERY

“and remember, next week you’re gonna need a model for what we’re doing, so don’t forget to bring a friend along,” eunjin reminded the group before they all left, “ooh, and i’ll post a reminder on the club’s instagram story in case you’re super forgetful!”

jaemin whipped his phone out of his pocket, quickly typing the reminder ‘bring someone to photography club’ into his notes, already trying to figure out which of his friends would be the easiest to persuade to come along.

“ah, hyung, i’ll get going now, see you next thursday,” the enthusiastic second year engineering major jaemin had befriended waved goodbye to his senior, flashing a grin as he packed up his things and set off.

“see y– wait, jake! you almost left your camera bag,” jaemin called after him, handing him his belongings.“what’s got you in such a rush? you’d never leave your camera behind.”

the younger boy turned to retrieve his stuff, bowing to show his gratitude, “oh, thank you so much, hyung, i would’ve gone insane if i left this. my best friend’s waiting for me and she did not appreciate the extra time eunjin noona took at the end of the session–she’s impatient and hungry and it’s my turn to pay for dinner so if i don’t hurry up, i have to deal with a hangry y/n for longer than i’d like.”

“sim jaeyun! come on!” the voice of who jaemin assumed to be the ‘hangry y/n’ caught his attention, however, the annoying image he had envisioned in his head did not match up with the beauty he laid eyes on.

“calm down! i was just thanking jaemin hyung for giving me my camera back, which i wouldn’t have forgotten if you weren’t rushing me, geez,” jake rolled his eyes as he turned his back to you, mouthing a ‘see you’ to jaemin as he hurried to the door, “i’m coming, i’m coming!”

after packing away all of his equipment, jaemin set off on his way home, not forgetting to bow to eunjin on his way out.

“sorry, jakey, i just couldn’t wait,” he heard a much gentler version of the voice from before in front of him. looking up from his phone, jaemin recognised the two figures in front of him as the bickering best friends he’d encountered not even a few minutes ago.

“couldn’t wait to what? drain my bank account?” jake’s joking questions were met with complete silence, “oh, i see how it is!”

“kidding! i meant that i couldn’t wait to spend time with you now that you’re not busy with that big, mechanic… project, uh, thing. yes, i know what it’s called, i just don’t want to say all those long sciency words,” your whining brought a smile to jaemin’s face, having heard similar words from his own arts major friends.

his smile only grew as he crossed the road and saw you almost trip over the curb from laughing so hard at whatever jake had said next, too preoccupied by your joyous laughter and the way you beamed at your friend to have heard.

jaemin sighed as he looked on, wondering how fulfilling it would be to be the cause of that pretty smile or the reason behind your contagious giggles. or, to put it simply, he wondered how fulfilling it would be to loved.

JAEMIN CAM • REC

“na jaemin… are you joking,” haechan turned towards him, blinking slowly in disbelief at what he’d just heard, “another random crush that you saw for a few minutes and never again? we thought it was gonna be different this time, man.”

before jaemin could even defend himself, renjun seemed to have had some sort of epiphany, “woah, wait, slow your roll there, hyuck. i think our jaem might actually have a chance.”

“he does?”

“i do?” even jaemin was ready to admit that you were just another brief attraction, but hearing that he had even the slightest chance with you had his cheeks burning redder than ever, “c-could you elaborate?”

“i could… if you show us what this y/n looks like,” renjun cocked an eyebrow, holding his hand out to see if jaemin would accept his offer.

“wh-why would you wanna do that?” jaemin didn’t know if it was the drinks or the idea of his best friends potentially showing interest in you that had him fumbling over his words.

“calm down, we’re not gonna steal her from you,” jeno wrapped his arm around his shoulder, nuzzling into his side, “we wouldn’t do that to you, man, we’re just curious, that’s all.”

“mhm!” haechan chimed in, “we just wanna give her the best friend stamp of approval before we proceed.”

jaemin took a moment to consider his friends’ words, before retrieving his phone from the disgustingly messy table, “fine! but if any of you accidentally like any of her photos i swear i’m gonna… i’ll— i won’t be happy!”

the boys chuckled at their roommate’s sheer inability to get angry at them; his tolerance and kindness were just some of the things they loved about him, qualities they knew his future girlfriend would appreciate. they waited as jaemin opened instagram to find your page, haechan advising him to go through jake’s following to make it easier.

“what? like none of you have ever tried to stalk someone’s profile before,” haechan scoffed, leaning closer to the screen, “oh! right there, she’s tagged in his most recent post.”

clicking on the small square, a smile unknowingly crept onto jaemin’s face as he stared at the candid photo of you laughing with jake and another friend he was sure he’d seen before on his account. although the gentle hues of the sunset made for a picturesque background, he couldn’t help but think that you and your beaming smile were the most beautiful view of all.

“ahem… earth to jaemin?” renjun frantically waved his hand in front of the dazed boy’s face, “if you wanna gawk at her pics so badly, i would recommend checking out her account.”

the sarcasm dripping in his words would’ve normally had jaemin rolling his eyes, but he was too focused scrutinising every little detail of your profile. the aesthetically pleasing highlight covers were almost as eye-catching as the selfie you’d set as your profile picture, and the large array of posts featuring cute outfits, your friends, pretty views, and more selfies had jaemin curious to see more.

“ooh, ‘hyu second year philosophy student,’ a second year, ah, mark hyung does philosophy too,” jeno commented as he looked over your bio, “i don’t see anyone tagged in her bio, and there’s no dedicated highlight to a boyfriend or anything, so looks like she’s single!”

“not everyone documents their relationship on social media, that doesn’t automatically mean she’s single” renjun pointed out the obvious, smacking the back of jeno’s head. “but, we can figure that out later. so now that y/n’s got our stamp of approval, do you wanna know the plan or not, jaem?”

“wait, wait, we’re still looking!” haechan continued to tap on jaemin’s phone and scroll through your pictures, “she’s cuuute, pretty feed too.”

“i know, right?” jaemin sighed dreamily, earning a disgusted look from jeno, “sorry, sorry, go on, jun, what’s the plan?”

“you need to bring a model to photography club this week, don’t you?” renjun paused for jaemin to nod.

“based on what you’ve told us, jake and y/n seem very close, close enough that he’ll most likely bring her along as his model. if, and when, he brings her, you can actually go and talk to her, maybe get her number or something. as for making sure she’s single, whichever one of us you bring along can just discreetly ask your friend jake if y/n’s taken, and drop the hint that you’re interested—you could get him to help you out with her.”

a few moments of silence passed before jaemin launched himself onto renjun, engulfing him in a tight hug, “thank you, thank you, thank you! wow, i never would’ve thought that i’d actually have a chance with her but thanks to you and your genius mind, now i might. will you come with me on thursday, jun, please?”

“ah, you’re welcome, but y-you’re squeezing me, you’re almost as bad as jeno,” renjun pleaded, dramatically placing a hand on his chest when jaemin loosened his grip.

“i would love to, but thursday? i’m working on a ‘global sculpture through the ages’ exhibition that afternoon. i’m sorry, jaem, but i’m sure these two’ll be happy to help!”

“ooh, ooh, i am! i’m free then, and i’m happy to be your gorgeous model and your wingman all at once,” haechan mimed a hair flip, batting his lashes and grinning at jaemin.

jaemin knew he couldn’t stand the exaggerated facial expressions any longer and answered him, “okay, fine, hyuck! just— i know you can get very friendly, very quickly, so don’t drift off-topic and just stick to the plan, please, for me. if you succeed, i’ll buy you food after as a thank you.”

“woah, thanks, nana!” haechan snuggled into said boy’s side, showing his gratitude by acting annoyingly adorable, “i guess this means that operation ‘get jaemin a girlfriend’ is a go!”

his declaration was met with whoops and cheers, with jeno pouring everyone another round of shots to celebrate their roommate’s potential romance. as they raised their glasses and downed their drinks, jaemin squeezed his eyes shut and hoped, with all his heart, that their operation would be a success.

“ah, hyung, i’ll get going now, see you next thursday,” the enthusiastic second year engineering major jaemin had befriended waved goodbye to his senior, flashing a grin as he packed up his things and set off.

“see y– wait, jake! you almost left your camera bag,” jaemin called after him, handing him his belongings, “what’s got you in such a rush? you’d never leave your camera behind.”

the younger boy turned to retrieve his stuff, bowing to show his gratitude, “oh, thank you so much, hyung, i would’ve gone insane if i left this. my best friend’s waiting for me and she did not appreciate the extra time eunjin noona took at the end of the session–she’s impatient and hungry and it’s my turn to pay for dinner so if i don’t hurry up, i have to deal with a hangry y/n for longer than i’d like.”

“sim jaeyun! come on!” the voice of who jaemin assumed to be the ‘hangry y/n’ caught his attention, however, the annoying image he had envisioned in his head did not match up with the beauty he laid eyes on.

“calm down! i was just thanking jaemin hyung for giving me my camera back, which i wouldn’t have forgotten if you weren’t rushing me, geez,” jake rolled his eyes as he turned his back to you, mouthing a ‘see you’ to jaemin as he hurried to the door, “i’m coming, i’m coming!”

after packing away all of his equipment, jaemin set off on his way home, not forgetting to bow to eunjin on his way out.

“sorry, jakey, i just couldn’t wait,” he heard a much gentler version of the voice before from in front of him. looking up from his phone, jaemin recognised the two figures in front of him as the bickering best friends he’d encountered not even a few minutes ago.

“couldn’t wait to what? drain my bank account?” jake’s joking questions were met with complete silence, “oh, i see how it is!”

“kidding! i meant that i couldn’t wait to spend time with you now that you’re not busy with that big, mechanic… project, uh, thing. yes, i know what it’s called, i just don’t want to say all those long sciency words,” your whining brought a smile to jaemin’s face, having heard similar words from his own arts major friends.

his smile only grew as he crossed the road and saw you almost trip over the curb from laughing so hard at whatever jake had said next, too preoccupied by your joyous laughter and the way you beamed at your friend to have heard.

jaemin sighed as he looked on, wondering how fulfilling it would be to be the cause of that pretty smile or the reason behind your contagious giggles. or, to put it simply, he wondered how fulfilling it would be to loved.

The second she finished her sentence, you saw Haechan come out with the hospital staff pushing him to his room. 

“Donghyuck!” you exclaimed happily. 

Your boyfriend seemed drowsy, probably the lingering after-effects of the anaesthesia. You had to hold your laughter back from how goofy he looked, especially combined with the hospital gown and the messy hair. 

“Who are you?” he asked as he smacked his lips a few times. 

You frowned at his question. “Are you really asking me who I am?” 

“Mhm, yeah.” He hummed and then giggled. “You’re pretty.” 

Oh, you wished you could film this moment and show it to the rest of the boys. Renjun would  totally make fun of him for this. But you also wanted to keep this moment to yourself. Was that selfish of you? 

“Can I have your number?” 

“You already have my number,” you answered, slightly annoyed, but also amused. 

“Stop lying. I don’t have your number.” 

“Donghyuck, I’m your girlfriend. I’m pretty sure that my number is on your phone somewhere.” 

“You’re my girlfriend?” Donghyuck gasped, almost exaggeratedly. “Wait, where’s my phone. I need to make sure that it’s true.” 

“How about I’ll give your phone back when you’re feeling a bit better, yeah?” 

“I’m feeling awesome, though?” 

“I bet you do.” You snorted and patted him on his head. “Stay here while I get your discharge papers, alright?” 

“Can’t you bring me with you?” 

You looked him up-and-down with a side-eye. “In your current state? Yeah, no. Why do you want to stick to me so much? Just be a good boy and stay in your bed until the anaesthesia wears off.” 

Donghyuck pouts, his bottom lip jutting out in disappointment. “Is it so wrong of me to want to be next to my girlfriend? I guess I’m a sugar because I stick to you like glue-cose.” 

You made a face of disgust and apprehension. “Babe, that was so bad. It wasn’t even funny.” 

But that didn’t stop him from dropping another line on you. “I wish I were adenine so that I could be paired up with YOU. Get it? Like adenine is paired with uracil, and uracil’s symbol is the letter ‘U?’” 

You sighed through your nose. 

“Oh, oh, I got a better one! If I were an enzyme, I would be a helicase so I can unzip your gene,” he said and looked super proud. 

Was this how he was able to seduce you and ask you out? 

“Are you really flirting with me, right now? In this state?” you asked him while pinching his cheeks. 

While you were slightly unimpressed by his choice of pick-up lines, you still somehow found him pretty endearing. 

“I’m always flirting with you. Keep up.” 

You shook your head and left to grab his discharge papers. 

You regretted just the slightest for not filming him. 

Scratch that. You didn’t really accept Jaehyun’s request. 

At least, not without a condition of your own. 

You could tell from the look of frustration on Doyoung’s face that he also didn’t understand the reasoning behind your decision. 

“Who does he think he is?” he scoffed at Jaehyun’s condition and then gave you a small glare. Though you knew that he wasn’t truly mad at you. He could never. “What were even you thinking?”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “In the end, I won’t lose anything.” 

“Our relationship isn’t something worth considering?” 

You raised a brow at his snarky remark, silently asking him if he truly meant what he said, considering the fact that he was the one who dumped you in the first place. 

“Let’s be honest, Doyoung, do you really think that Jaehyun’s going to be able to actually break things off with her?” you replied. “That’s why I included a condition of my own. I’m only going to cut all ties with you after the five months are up.” 

Doyoung still seemed displeased with the situation. “Do you really think that you can cut all ties with me?” 

You scoffed. “Of course not. Not only our families are friends, we work at the same hospital. I’m not about to drop everything just because of a boy who made me cry.” 

A pregnant silence fell upon you two. 

It didn’t hit you how much your words rang true until you realized how silent Doyoung was being, considering how much he had to say about the situation. 

He let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah. That’s always how you’ve been.” 

You frowned at his statement, but did not refute. 

“You’ve never let anything—anyone—deter you from your goals. That was one of the reasons why I fell in love with you in the first place,” he continued. “But also one of the reasons why we had to break up.” 

“What are you trying to say, exactly?” 

Doyoung shrugged nonchalantly, allowing you to see that he meant no harm nor did he mean to offend you. “Sometimes, I can’t help but think what if you were just more... flexible? Would that have helped salvage our relationship?” 

“Perhaps,” you mused. 

He turned to you with a bitter smile. “Let’s say he meant it. Meant every word he said about breaking things off and needing—what, five months?—to make things right by you. And you can see that he’s truly making efforts to make your marriage work. Would you abandon your plan?” 

You chuckled at his words and tilted your head in curiosity. “Where is this coming from?” 

“My personal feelings aside,” he explained, “you’re still one of my closest friends. I still care about you, regardless of what happened between us. I only wish for your happiness. And I can see how it’s not this marriage with Jaehyun that’s draining you, but also this plan of yours to take him down. To make him regret.” 

Doyoung poked the little space between your brows and gave you his signature bunny smile. You couldn’t help but smile back in response. 

“I’m just saying.” 

“Yeah?” 

“It wouldn’t hurt to be more flexible in this case.” 

FIRST MONTH

“What is this?” 

You were slightly taken aback by the appearance of Jaehyun’s silver McLaren Speedtail parked in front of the hospital you worked at. As much as you disliked him, you couldn’t deny that he had taste in cars. 

Jaehyun smiled at you as he opened the door to the passenger seat for you and motioned you to get in. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m picking you up?” 

“Yeah, why exactly are you picking me up?” 

He let out a small huff through his nose. “Why would I not pick up my wife from her workplace after a long day?” 

You almost choked on your own spit as you couldn’t believe the words that came out of Jaehyun’s mouth. 

Did he just call you... his wife? 

You wordlessly entered his vehicle in a slight daze, unsure of what just occurred. You almost had to pinch yourself to make sure that you weren’t dreaming about the current situation you were in. 

It was just some weeks after he made you that promise on your honeymoon, but you didn’t expect him to spend time with you in addition to break things off with Chaeyoung. 

Sure, he said that he was going to try and make your marriage work. But this seemed like a complete 180 of his usual behaviour towards you that it almost gave you whiplash at how nice he could be. 

It reminded you of that time Chaeyoung told you that Jaehyun truly was a nice person, but you simply brought the worst out of him. 

It made you wonder if she was right. 

But the slight giddiness caused by Jaehyun’s actions and your lack of mental energy from work caused you to drop that question completely. 

It wouldn’t hurt to bask in this slight happiness, wouldn’t it? 

MONTH 2 

“Did you start the movie without waiting for me?” Jaehyun shouted in pure disbelief from your kitchen as he was busy making popcorn for the two of you. 

“No?” you shouted back, feigning innocence. 

Movie nights were now almost a weekly occurrence. 

Jaehyun would pick you up from work and you two would head back to your place. It first started with an episode from a series, then a short film, and then a whole movie marathon. You two never really set up a date or anything of the short. It just became something that was... natural. 

It honestly scared you just how natural things felt between you and Jaehyun. 

It was scary to see how well you actually got along with him. 

You didn’t expect to have this much in common with him. Your parents reassured you prior to your engagement that you would love the guy they had set you up with. You didn’t actually expect them to be right to this extent. 

“Scoot over,” he said to you. 

“No,” you refuted and sprawled over your couch, ensuring that he doesn’t have any space for him to sit. 

“I will sit on you!” 

“No, you won’t!” 

You let out a small screech as he actually sat on you. But you could tell that he didn’t put his full weight on you. 

“Get off me! You’re so heavy!” 

“I told you to scoot over!” 

You threw your head back in laughter, slightly wondering in the back of your mind when was the last time you’ve felt this way. 

Whatever it was, you wouldn’t mind continuing feeling this way. 

MONTH 3 

“So, when can we expect a grandchild?” 

Both you and Jaehyun choked on your food and immediately reached for your glass of water.

It was uncanny how you two started mirroring each other’s actions. 

Due to how busy everyone was, both of your families set up mandatory bi-weekly dinners. To get to know each other as in-laws but also in hopes of you and Jaehyun getting closer and less awkward in a stressful environment such as dinner with both families. 

“Your mother-in-law is right,” your mum dabbed a side of her mouth with a napkin. “It’s been almost four months since your honeymoon. Are there going to be any good news in the near future?” 

“How many children are you two planning on having?” 

“It’d be best to have the children at the beginning of your marriage before you two get too old for it.” 

Your tongue poked your inner cheek and you sighed in slight annoyance. That single bottle of red wine will not last you long enough. And you could tell from the look that Jaehyun gave you cheekily that he shared the same thoughts. 

To be honest, you didn’t even know if children were in the plans. 

Your relationship with Jaehyun wasn’t at a stage where you two can discuss this matter freely. Just thinking about it, even by yourself, was embarrassing. 

Hell, your relationship with Jaehyun wasn’t even at a stage where you two can even produce the very children your parents were talking about. 

“To be honest, I think that three children is perfect,” Jaehyun said with a smile. “But I think that also depends on my wife since she’s the one giving birth. What do you think, honey?” 

You coughed at the nickname that he used that came out of his mouth so naturally. As if that was something he always called you by. 

You froze in your seat as all eyes were on you, impatiently waiting for your opinion about the matter. You quickly turned to Jaehyun, eyes wide in panic as you had no idea what to say. 

He gave you a teasing smirk and sipped on his wine, probably enjoying this situation more than he should. But he still made no move to help you out despite your silent plea for help. 

“Yeah, three children sounds good to me?” you squeaked. 

All the elders erupted in laughter at your response and proceeded to discuss your future without the two of you. 

“So, three children, huh?” 

Jaehyun’s voice was ticklish in your ear.

“Guess we should start pretty soon.” 

MONTH 4 

It was a bit crazy to see the evolution of your relationship with Jaehyun. 

True to his words, Jaehyun did really try his best to make this marriage work. Because of that, there was some sort of tension between the two of you whenever you’d spend time together alone. You didn’t know whether it was sexual or platonic, but you dared to say that there was some sort of connection. 

You two often spent time together. If not spending time watching movies together, then it would be grabbing lunch or dinner, or going on small dates whenever you could. It took you two four months before you two finally held hands, but considering how your relationship first started, you’d like to think that it was immense progress. 

You two were now even making plans about moving in together. 

It made sense for the two of you to live together since you two were married. Not to mention there was no way you were going to move back in with your parents. It was actually Jaehyun’s suggestion that the two of you moved in together, surprisingly. You didn’t expect him to make such suggestion, but you guessed that just showed how dedicated he was to his promise to you. 

“Hey, where are you?” you called him as he was almost ten minutes late. “Are you still picking me up?” 

“Hey, yes! Sorry, something happened,” he replied, evidently in distress. “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to pick you up today. I will send over one of my drivers so–” 

“Is everything alright? You don’t sound too good.” 

“Yes, everything is alright,” he continued. “I’m sorry that I can’t pick you up. I know we said that we were going to go furniture shopping today.” 

“Don’t be. We can always go another time,” you told him. “And don’t worry about the ride. I’ll ask Doyoung to give me a ride home or something.” 

You almost gasped at your words, remembering that Jaehyun didn’t like it whenever you would hang out with Doyoung. You knew that he didn’t mean to be controlling over who you hung out with. But to be fair, Doyoung was your ex-boyfriend and your colleague. 

You thought that Jaehyun would say something, especially since he would always grumble about how you had to meet up with Doyoung at some times. But he didn’t, which admittedly, was more surprising than expected.

“Okay, sounds good. I’ll call you later tonight!” 

If anything, it seemed like Jaehyun was so preoccupied that he didn’t even register who were you going to ask a ride from. 

Jaehyun was never one to reschedule things. He disliked being flaky. If anything, he would always tell you in advance if plans needed to be changed. 

You had a gnawing feeling at the pit of your stomach, eating you away for some odd reason. 

But you pushed it down as you told yourself that it was probably nothing. If it was anything important, Jaehyun would definitely let you know. 

If only you had listened to your guts that night. 

LAST MONTH  

“I’m sorry to ask this of you.” 

You wanted to laugh at the pitiful situation you were in, but you could only stare at Jaehyun and Chaeyoung in disbelief. 

The room was unbearably silent. Jaehyun’s apology echoed in your ears. The ticking sound that the clock in your office made sounded louder than usual. Blood rushed to your ears, the rhythmic thumping of your heartbeat was somehow comforting yet agonizing at the same time. 

“You’re one of the best surgical oncologist in the country,” Jaehyun continued. “I didn’t know who else to ask.” 

Anybody but me, you wanted to say. You could have asked anybody but me. 

“The other doctors we’ve seen so far all recommended that we come and see you. They say you’re the best there is, and if we were to treat a tumour of this size, only you could do it.” 

Shut up. Please shut up. 

You weren’t one to believe in karma. But you also liked to believe that due to everything—the hell—you had been through due to Jaehyun and Chaeyoung, that you wouldn’t be on the receiving end of karma. 

But karma was a bitch. 

And, so was cancer. 

“Please.”

Don’t ask me to treat her.

Please don’t ask me to treat her. 

“Please save Chaeyoung,” Jaehyun begged. “I will do anything. Anything you ask me, if you can just save her.” 

You stole a glance over at the circled number on your calendar, wondering if Jaehyun even knew what day it was. If he was just the slightest aware of what exactly was he asking of you. 

You knew you should have listened to your guts last month. 

You knew that you should have probed him further. 

You should have known the second he started picking you up less often. Started calling you less often. Started spending less time with you often. 

You should have known. 

And you hated yourself for trusting Jaehyun. 

For trusting his word. 

“Today’s the last day of the five-months mark you gave me.” 

Jaehyun’s eyes widened in horror, as if just realizing the dire, sticky situation he was in at the moment. There was the slightest hesitation in his brown orbs, but quickly blinked it away just like a mirage. 

He forgot. 

Of course, he did. 

“I’m sorry.” 

You needed him to stop apologizing. 

You needed him to stop apologizing when– 

“–you don’t even mean it.” 

Jaehyun looked away from your stare, unable to face you. Chaeyoung was the same, her eyes facing her lap, as if humbled by her situation. 

But you took an oath. 

Your professional feelings overtook your personal ones. And for the first time, you hated that part of yourself. That rationality that allowed you to cut off your emotions just like that. 

Because the only thing you wanted to do at the moment was to scream and crawl into your bed, to hide yourself away from the reality that was presented to you. 

“Go see the nurse outside of my office. She’ll set up an appointment for you.” 

Both of them sighed in relief. 

You never hated a sight so much before. 

You never hated yourself so much before. 

“And Jaehyun?” 

His delighted smile momentarily dropped the second he saw the serious expression that you were sporting, all signs of hope and amusement gone. 

“Don’t you dare talk or contact me ever again.”