Life is a conundrum of esoterica

“macdennis”. this name keeps coming up over and over again. every day, macdennis posts are getting recommended to me. macdennis! macdennis! i look up ‘iasip’, and this whole tag is macdennis! so i say to myself, “i gotta find this ship. i gotta watch the show and find out what’s goin’ on! otherwise, i’m never going to get it and i’m going to keep being confused.” so i look up “macdennis”, and what do i find out? what do i find out?! there is no macdennis. the ship is not canon, okay? so i decide, “oh shit, buddy, i gotta dig a little deeper.” there’s no macdennis? you gotta be kidding me! i got blogs full of macdennis! alright. so i start marchin’ my way down to rcg and i knock on their door and i say, “glenn! rob! i gotta talk to you about macdennis!” and when i open the door what do i find? there’s not a single goddamn desk in that office! there. is. no. rcg. guys, half the employees in management have been made up. this writers room is a goddamn ghost town.

When you watch a movie and it changes your personality

[rain pouring] [thunder rumbling] [car horn blaring] “go on. wheyyyyyyy!! Oh no.” [in distance: “YOU IDIOT”, uproarious laughter] “why would you go through that. what are you doing. ahhh no, he’s actually floating!” “well of course he is. what a fucking bellend!” “what a knobhead!” “fucking hell.”