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@natswash

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Maybe I’m an old man but goddamn, these vampires with blood dripping down their chins–that’s your food!! THAT’S YOUR FOOD!! Close!! Your!! Mouth!! You think some asshole slobbering chicken noodle soup or yogurt or clam chowder all down themselves would be sexy??? What makes you any different, you sticky-stained slackjawed screwball??? Close your mouth!! Use a napkin!! And for godssakes stop looking so smug, like, “Oooo, I’m a creature of the night look at what sustains me” yeah uh huh a fucking lack of basic hygiene is what I’m seeing and it is not impressive!! At all!! My nephews are three years old and they drool less than you do!! You’re how many centuries old?!?! ACT LIKE IT
This is even funnier when you know that Lestat canonically goes on this rant in the books
All those years spent living in the past, never really thought about the future... 'til now. I never did have very good timing
reading terry prattchet is so crazy, cause you'll be reading about a character called something like plinko plonko and their zany exploits, and then he'll just drop a paragraph that goes so insanely hard like -
and then I just have to stare at the wall for a bit.

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My favorite personification of Death
/I was in love with him when I was 12-13 years old. Okey, I still am
One very friendly watchman
something very fascinating about discworld as a setting is how the books are mostly set during a period of after
the color of magic and the light fantastic are set during the waning days of barbarian thug heroes. cohen and his cohorts are either old or dead, and the incoming generation isn't finding much profit in the hero business. tax fraud is more profitable than pillaging.
the mention of horrific wizard wars that are so old that even the aftermath of them are relegated to allusions instead of explicit description.
lancre is haunted by the spectre of black aliss, who never appears on screen and has been hansel and greteled by the time of granny and nanny being the witches of authority, and even they feel like their time coming to a close.[1]
uberwald is the remnants of a fallen evil empire.
ankh-morpork had kings, then despotic tyrants, but on page is governed bureaucratically by a man who, i will always argue, was working to ultimately get rid of his own job.
we are introduced to a city watch that has been defanged and recovering from several failed revolutions.
moist von lipwig is a reformed con man being forced to repair the damage done to public institutions by other con men, but we never truly see the shell games played by moist or others.
even small gods concerns itself with the reformation of a fire and brimstone religion.
basically, if epic fantasy is a party, discworld is the story of the people who have to clean up afterwards despite not being on the guest list for the event.
-
[1] the way that shepherds crown is not only an explicit conclusion to granny weatherwax's tenure, but quietly implies nanny receding from prominence herself is an aching sadness i wish pterry had the time to explore. tiffany is the person who arrives first to an empty but clean dance club.
Some PTerry quotes that feel especially salient at the moment:
"He asked you to shoot at people who weren’t shooting back,” growled Vimes, striding forward, “That makes him insane, wouldn’t you say?”
“They are throwing stones, Sarge,” said Colon.
“So? Stay out of range. They’ll get tired before we do."
- Night Watch
Odd thing, ain't it... you meet people one at a time, they seem decent, they got brains that work, and then they get together and you hear the voice of the people. And it snarls.
- Jingo
It always embarrassed Samuel Vimes when civilians tried to speak to him in what they thought was “policeman.” If it came to that, he hated thinking of them as civilians. What was a policeman, if not a civilian with a uniform and a badge? But they tended to use the term these days as a way of describing people who were not policemen. It was a dangerous habit: once policemen stopped being civilians the only other thing they could be was soldiers.
- Snuff
The poor devils. They thought a king would make them free.
- Feet of Clay
Beating people up in little rooms…he knew where that led. And if you did it for a good reason, you’d do it for a bad one. You couldn’t say “we’re the good guys” and do bad-guy things. Sometimes the watching watchman inside every good copper’s head could use an extra pair of eyes.
- Thud!
happy glorious 25th of may

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Okay so this is a big deal
Sir Terry Pratchett's iconic Discworld novel Night Watch, featuring Commander Sam Vimes, to be published as a Penguin Classic.
To me, and to a significant subset of Sir Terry's fans (including most of you who've found this by the tags), his writing is serious commentary on the human condition - politics, prejudice, self-control, revenge vs. justice, religion, idealism, faith in people vs. cynicism, and more - dressed up with fantasy settings and a hefty leavening of humor to make it fun to read. And it is WILDLY fun to read, actual laugh-out-loud or at least a snicker averaging about every page.
But there's this common idea among the "important literature" people that fun and funny books are not also worthwhile or important in the same way.
This is a Discworld book being released WITH ACADEMIC COMMENTARY and AS A PENGUIN CLASSIC. That's a HUGE amount of recognition.
New ink. Night Watch feels pretty relevant.
I've been thinking of the "Can Granny Weatherwax beat Bugs Bunny" question and this is my full take for Discworld characters:
Vimes - Cares too much, too easy to piss off. Has the innate chase instinct that makes characters run into walls with realistic tunnels painted on them. Might get to arrest Bugs Bunny but the beast will just slip out of the handcuffs to help him lock them, then walk out of the jail cell to have a union mandated coffee break.
Ridcully - Classic hunting season scenario, but has enough charisma to probably still get a few good shots off before the inevitable.
Rest of the wizards - No survivors, only Bugs.
Carrot - The intense near-magical narrative aura of well meaning innocence should make him immune, Bugs will likely be forced to be the villain of the episode.
Lord Vetinari - Flattened by a comically large anvil in the first few minutes of the episode, unclear if it was all a part of his long term strategy or not.
Moist - Has the 'lovable trickster getting away with it' energy, but nowhere near Bugs level. Already fell for the "old lady who swallowed a fly" scenario with the stamp slugs once, won't fare any better here.
Death - Definitely one of those "character is trying to avoid death" episodes, would go back and forth. Might actually get to end Bugs but his spirit will reappear in Death's domain and ruin his garden.
Nanny Ogg - The ultimate in anti-Bugs technology, a gleefully annoying old lady who doesn't give a fuck and definitely won't be the first to instigate the plot bearing conflict. This is a full sweep, he's the episode antagonist.
Granny Weatherwax - Too win-motivated to not lose. Would have to break the story to have any chance. Might do it.
Magrat - Will have sappy ideas about helping the poor animal which honestly has the 50:50 chance of either getting slapsticked or Bugs ending in a ye olde stroller&pacifier gag.
Colon&Nobby - Designed in a lab to be totaled by Bugs Bunny.
Tiffany Aching - A child that also has a large pan that is the perfect thing to hit someone over the head with and make a BOIOIOINGGG sound, so great odds.
What no one warned me about when I got into Discworld is that Terry Pratchett would completely ruin all my future footnote experiences. Now, whenever I read a book (even if it is an academic text!!) and see a superscripted number, my monkey brain makes my eyes drop to the bottom of the page asap, expecting a funny, poignant, memorable, and potentially life-altering little treat, and instead I get hit every time with the soul-crushing disappointment of McFarthy, G. et al. (1997)
I am using Discworld to figure out how to use Procreate. Also...it was nice challenge to draw just dialogue scene in slapstick way. Ughhh...I would love to spend year or two drawing Feet of Clay graphic novel, I love that book so much x_x ...and I have no job just now...I should ask around...about how licences works or something.... .

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Discworld Textposts III
[<-] Discworld [->]
"Boy I sure wish there was a character who functions like me who's still made it somewhere in life!"
Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch: