I was once again thinking about Jamie and Dani and Bly Manor and I think we all love how wonderfully the show set up and portrayed the theme of love vs possession, toxic love and selfless love with the parallels between Dani/Jamie and Owen/Hanna against Peter/Rebecca, but I started thinking more in details about the individual characters of Jamie and Peter and I think there is something really interesting to be said about how the show deals with abuse and its ramifications on the person who experienced it.
I don’t know how intentional the parallel between Peter and Jamie’s past was in the writing but there are enough similarities to at least consider it. Both suffer neglect and lack of nurturing from their respective mothers, in Peter’s case his mother directly aids the violence he’ll become victim of, in Jamie’s case her mother indirectly starts the chain of abuse Jamie will go through. Both Peter and Jamie experience a form of sexual abuse/harassment, at different degrees of severity yes, because we don’t really know the extent of what Jamie went through in foster care but it was bad enough to make her run away and nothing a child/teen should go through. That lack of love and care and protection did shape the way they see people and the world, in particular it has hardened them and made them distrustful.
But thats where they diverge one from the other and where I think the show makes a huge statement about toxicity and abusive behavior and how they are inexcusable, no matter what. Because Peter and Jamie have suffered horrible things, but they are polar opposites. Peter walks the world with the mind-set that what he went through now makes him entitled to whatever he wants, whether that’s a thing or a person or an emotion. He never had love or affection so now he demands it, and with Rebecca, whom he sees and treats as the object of his desire, he refuses to let her go and let her live because he sees that potential loss as another injury. He doesn’t care who he hurts to get what he wants because people are all horrible or unworthy or have had more than him so that’s not ‘fair’. Even with Miles and Flora who are just children, it’s not farfetched to say that he envies them, not as much for their financial wealth but for the wealth of the love and care they received, which is something he states directly to Miles when he tricks him into taking over his body. Peter is entirely driven by selfishness, and though that selfishness is understandable once the audience gets to discover what he endured in his past, it is never justified within the show. Peter’s evilness being rooted in trauma instead of being ‘for evil’s sake’ does make him a more layered character, but the show makes a point to prove that the evil he inflicts on others is not excused by the evil that was inflicted on him. Because Jamie is also there, Jamie also suffered and wasn’t loved and wants to be loved, but she is the opposite of him.
Jamie too doesn’t have a great outlook on the world, arriving to state she prefers plants to people because the love and effort put into them leads to tangible results. But while the trauma of her past has clearly affected her, it doesn’t define who she is nor is it weaponized in favor of toxic entitlement. Like Peter is interested in Rebecca, Jamie is interested in Dani, but she builds a bond with her without ulterior motives. The first real interaction they have, when Jamie makes Dani laugh after finding her in the middle of a crisis, is entirely selfless and kind-hearted. She just sees someone who is in pain and tries to make her feel better. Later when their relationship deepens, Jamie always waits for Dani to make the first steps, to confirm they’re on the same page and want the same thing.
In a situation where Peter and Jamie are respectively hindered from getting what they want for the time being, Peter’s instinctive reaction is to try to force the other person, Jamie’s is to apologize and moving responsibility onto herself, even when it’s not her fault. Where Peter is selfish, Jamie is selfless. And yeah, she is witty and tough and teases everyone around her, but every single interaction she has with the other characters, from Dani to Flora to Rebecca, shows the depth of her care and generosity of spirit. Underneath that rough exterior, she approaches people with the kindness and care and thoughtfulness that she never received in her past. Because she never received them.
Jamie’s greatest act of selflessness is choosing to tie her heart to Dani. Not to stay with her when they’re already together and Dani starts fading, not to keep living after Dani is gone, but to actively choose to be by Dani’s side at the very beginning. “Do you want company? While you wait for your beast in the jungle.” There is this unspoken awareness between them that whatever it is they’re going to embark on is not going to last and their time together is going to run out but Jamie chooses to spend that time with Dani, knowing it very likely will end and knowing she will get hurt. For someone whose trauma is rooted in neglect of love or a perversion of it, that’s the most purely selfless choice she could make. Peter kills Rebecca because he cannot bear to be alone and suffer again. Jamie cherishes the person she loves and herself for however long they can have, without demanding more.
Both Peter and Jamie are victims of abuse, but Bly Manor shows two possible paths and proves that propagating that abuse onto others, even if the reason for it is immense pain, is never justified and I find that incredibly important.
