Narrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrz

It’s time for… A giveaway!  (Insert excited cacophony of music here)

This time there will only be one winner, mostly because I don’t have the energy or time to do much else.  No particular reason, though I did hit a follower milestone sometime recently, so let’s go with that.  

So! 

This time I am going to give away… THE COLOSSUS. 

That’s right, the precursor to The Juggernaut!  To go with The Colossus the winner gets 75 ectoplasm AND 25 gold. 

Now for the rules:

You do NOT have to be following me, but if you are I will throw in a full body, uncolored picture of your GW2 character. 

One like and one reblog per person, please!  I don’t want to spam dashboards with my goofy post (haha). Each counts as an entry.

You must have your ask box open and be willing to give me your in game name.  The winner has 48 hours to respond before I draw for a new winner.

Pretty simple, yeah?  I’ll do this drawing on Friday, June 9th sometime early afternoon after I get off of work (usually around 12 CST).  My schedule tends to get shifted around a lot, so I will reblog this post one hour before I do the drawing to let everyone know.

When I worked in fast food for minimum wage, they would yell at us and lecture us about “stealing” fries and burgers (while we had to throw out TONS of food every day) as though the giant billion-dollar corporations of McDonald’s and Sonic couldn’t afford to give their employees something to eat (while not even paying us a living wage).

Now I work at an upscale restaurant (it’s fancy, like celebrities eat there fairly often) and not only do I make WAY better money but they give us 2 free meals a day (eaten on the clock) and they’re GOOD. Today I got baked cod, spring rolls, rice pilaf, stir fry, and mashed potatoes and eggplant. Oh, and free espresso and juice. From this restaurant owned by a local man who is in no way a billionaire.

Sailor: “Well I won’t say no to you buyin a ship! I can get you one with a whole loyal and fast crew for round oh…600 gold.” 

Bard OOC: is that overpriced? 

GM OOC: idk i think it seems reasonable 

Bard: Do you, perhaps, give a discount for … entertainers? 

Bard reaches for the fucking bagpipes again 

Sailor: “Entertainers?” 

Monk: They’d increase the fee. 

GM OOC: roll performance 

Bard: 7 PERFORMANCE (5) 

Bard OOC: shit, i think [monk] may be correct 

GM: Although [bard] is rather decent on bagpipes, they are still bagpipes. 

Wizard: Why didn’t you go with the lute? 

Bard: ah shit. mayhaps you’d prefer the lute? 

GM: The sailor looks at you, at first expectantly, then slowly more disappointed 

Sailor: “I’ll drop it to 575 if you don’t play again” 

Bard: sure! 

-there are lesbians -sunglasses guy has low self esteem -blood color means???? something?? -trolls but like people wanna fuck then

The subject was something like a 12 foot long water scorpion

And Poppy, what you saw was an arthropod known as Pterygotus (it was actually featured in Walking With Monsters). Not only was it as big (or maybe even bigger) than your average human, it had a stinger the size of a lightbulb. REALLY glad that bugger isn’t around anymore.

Also, Megalodon deserves to be mention again, because just hearing its name makes me want to never be submerged in water ever again.

THAT IS A GODDAMNED LEAF-EATING SLOTH.

AMBULOCETUS WAS AMPHIBIOUS AND PRETTY BADASS

BASILOSAURUS WAS THIS GIANT REPTILIAN-LOOKING-BUT-STILL-VERY-MUCH-MAMMALIAN CETACEAN THAT PROBABLY SWAM LIKE A DUMB EEL BECAUSE OF ITS TINY FLUKES BUT THIS FUCKER WAS 60 FEET LONG AND AT THE TOP OF THE MARINE FOOD CHAIN

AND THEN THERE’S MY FAVORITE, ZYGOPHYSETER, WHICH WAS THIS HUGE EARLY SPERM WHALE THAT ATE SHARKS AND OTHER WHALES

IT WAS NOTHING BUT TEETH