hard liquor mixed with a bit

Marsh: They coulda tried really hard to set you up with a stupid girl instead of chilling out since you found a girl on your own. Sounds like you. Lol man I ended up all in their business somehow. I'm fucking 'Uncle Marsh'.

Marsh: Laaaaame. I could always just fly off if I needed space. Not that I cared that much, I was pretty chill around whoever.

Napoleon: They still didn't chill out so :-p not much of a difference, now they're just trying to set me up with my friend who is, and I stress, not a girl I found. For girl purposes, anyway. Uncle Marsh. You gotta admit, it sounds good.

Kally: Because! People like sappy, it makes them feel cared about. Are you trying to end up with a robot android someday or something, or do you want a real human companion for when you get old and gray?

Kally: That's okay, Mr. Grinch, I guess you just haven't met your Cindy Lou Hoo yet :-p

Napoleon: A real human companion sounds cool and all but there have got to be non-sappy humans out there. Sappy is nice but way, way too much effort. Can't someone just believe I love them without me having to be all over the top about it?

Anastasia: Like me posting my thumbs and seeing who thirsts over them, or just me asking if anyone's selling thumb photography at a reasonable price? Not everyone's street smart, then. It just seems like something that should feel off in your soul. If you have a soul, I mean.

Anastasia: (Semi-seriousness? I don't know what you've been doing since February :-p You don't know my middle name. I could be snakier than sss. But no, it just seems like it catches so much spit in there, it's got to smell awful and be a germ utopia.)

Napoleon: Both, either - a thumb thirst trap seems like it'd be easier though so I vote for that. Street smarts are something you develop, same as intuition; when would a kidnapped child who's presumably being watched over and has every aspect of their life have a chance to develop that? Soul or no soul.

Yasmine: A) I'm your sister, it's my job to assume ya nasty. B) UH HUH. I WENT TO THE AUCTION, I SAW YOU BUY A GIRL!

That’s just called being out of shape! Once you’ve done a few workouts and your body starts getting used to it, that goes away. Um… but isn’t using your time on something still effort, technically? What are you dong with your time that requires no effort, staring at the ceiling? Because even that requires the effort of keeping your eyes open! Oh. Oh, i’m so sorry, I had no idea you failed at something so badly you were still traumatized from it! What was it that was so sad for you? Ohhhhh-kay! I mean, I won’t force people to take classes, it’s more fun when the group’s excited, but I hope someday you decide on your own you want to try something to kind of boost your mood. You just seem a little sad! Oh. I mean, I guess, but then I wouldn’t have been very happy, sedentary life’s not really for me.

Everything requires energy, as you pointed out without actually saying those words, but just because something requires literal effort doesn’t mean everything requires the concept of effort. We do plenty of mindless thing, like blinking or breathing or sleeping or eating - that’s where I thrive. Woah, when I said ‘trauma sucks’, I meant a stapler to the face. I myself am fine. There was no Big Bad, you just tired of working too hard for nothing after a while, you know? For me it took fourteen years, and I’m glad - some people work all their lives to get to the realization that work isn’t worth it, but I learned early on. I’m not in the need for any mood-booster. I’m a lot happier and way more chill being realistic than I ever was before, just like you’re happier running and moving and all that jazz. 

Why do you hate effort so much? I really need to drag you to classes with me, it’s amazing all the things you’re motivated to do after a good workout when your blood’s still pumping and you’ve got adrenaline and endorphins on your side. Uh, you could also take a bath in bugspray? You take baths, right? If you don’t that’s super yuck, you need to find a bath buddy who like, gives you a reason to get it done. I mean, a boyfriend could do it, too, I guess, but I’m not going to be doing anything for him in return and he really needs to be prepared for that reality. It was so not worth it, although it wasn’t traumatizing enough to inspire me to be any cleaner, I guess. Maybe I need some motivation as much as you do. Not walking was miserable! I had to learn to do like, aerial yoga and stretches where I wasn’t on my feet.

Lots of reasons: the feeling of adrenaline running through me makes me feel sick; effort equals time that could be used on other things; and the more work you put into something the worse it feels when it fails. Plus, the world doesn’t reward effort as much as it rewards factors beyond any control so what’s the point? I don’t want to dislike you, Aubrey, so no offense, but I’m staying as far away from classes with you as possible - if I associate you with the feeling of adrenaline and endorphins, it’s all downhill for us from there. I shower. I was going to say, it doesn’t sound like the stapler incident made a lasting impression, which is cool. Trauma sucks. I’m laughing so hard because you didn’t have to learn aerial yoga and new stretches. You could’ve just slept without anyone giving you crap for it.

Anastasia: Okay fine, then first I'll find you a weirdo with a thumb fetish and let them be the judge. I don't know, I feel like the kid would just KNOW something was wrong deep down. I think I would.

Anastasia: (Good thing you're leading them so well with your sexless example. Saxophones are disgusting loud spit receptacles with a shape that makes me nervous and a high risk of tongue splinters.)

Napoleon: I would actually be super impressed with you if you could find somebody with a thumb fetish... or not, actually, it sounds like all it takes is one post to Craigslist :-P Really? I don't. If the kidnapper raising the kid was smart, the kid wouldn't have any reason to suspect things were off. I'm not gonna, like, steal a kid and raise it to prove a point, but I feel its definitely possible. Not everyone has your intuition :-P

Marsh: I saved you from them doing way worse to you, my dude, just be grateful. Did you deserve crap for it? I mean, did you not like... go home with said girl after? Seems fishy to me ;-) Very true, she gives not one shit about you, my dude. No offense.

Marsh: You didn't have your own bedroom? Man, that's fucked up.

Napoleon: HOW did that save me from way worse? It's not like they had a lead, you just gave them one lol. And yeah, I had better weed at home and we wanted to smoke :-P Not fishy in the slightest. No offense taken lol the sentiment is returned unless it has to do with you.

Kalasin: Yeah, but it takes more effort to craft something clever coming out of your own mouth than to just copy and paste a link, even if being thought of while someone watches a video is nice. But whatever, sounds like you're putting a lot of thought into this so who am I to argue? :-p Actually, people are trying to encourage open discussion of feelings and emotions too! They're just trying with more stigmatized ones first, love's just like... accepted.

Napoleon: Maybe it's just because it doesn't take me a lot of thought to say calculatedly nice things or even come up with arguments for stuff - it's the same amount of effort as showing someone videos, so why not just go for the less sappy option? :-P Lol if by accepted you mean overblown and oversimplified? For sure.

Yasmine: A) That's still... rinsing, it's better than nothing, but you should REALLY try shampoo. B) Nope, my nose works just fine, the paint fumes are more likely to affect my brain :-p Why?? Are you trying to bone someone?

Yasmine: That's disgusting, but a) I've lived with you and seen your hair wet after you get out of the shower and b) I can't smell you from 50 feet away yet. And I'd still gag, but you trying to be mushy sounds worse than you boning just to bone.

Woah! You could have taken a video of that and send it into a scariest video compilation. I’ve never watched those, but they have to exist, right? You could always wear long sleeved shirts to hide them. I suggest Under Armor, it really isn’t too warm, even in the summertime. It keeps you cool and hot, it’s like a miracle. I say that I don’t want to kill them because it’s mean, but really I don’t want to kill them because I’m scared to. So my cousins end up getting rid of them for me, it’s a great system. I just lost my stapler on the floor and when I was looking for a cute halter top, oops! Staple in my foot. It’s hard to walk when your foot’s sliced open, you know?

I could’ve, but effort. Those compilations definitely do exist though, and they’re hilarious, 10/10, would recommend. Wearing Under Armor every day sounds like an extra step in the morning that I’m not willing to take but I’ll take the fact that they aren’t too hot under consideration if the bites get super gross looking. That’s what family is for though, killing the bugs you don’t wanna deal with - people say that’s what a boyfriend is for but people are stupid. Oh dang! I hope that halter top was found soon after and became an integral part of your wardrobe because otherwise was it worth it? At least you got to chill and not have to walk anyway for a while though, right?

Anastasia: I'm going to start pointing out people who have sexy thumbs to you just so I can prove you wrong. Stealing a baby seems annoying anyway, eventually they get old and figure out who they really are no matter how much you lie.

Anastasia: (The idea of your sisters being sexually active freaks you out? Yep, less scary than a sociopath, congratulations. And also less scary than germophobes, saxophone players, and incoming freshmen.)

Napoleon: Good fucking luck because all thumbs are gross and you'll never change my mind 👍 Uh really? I feel like you could definitely trick a kid their whole lives. Or a smart person could, easy peasy.

Marsh: Why would I tell your nosy cousin and her loud friend? Dude, the only person I'd tell would be Gwen and she keeps her mouth shut. And you can also invoke the 'no telling Gwen' clause if it's that important to you, since she probably doesn't care about your life anyway.

Marsh: if they haven't found porn by 12 I'd say they're slow.

Napoleon: Idk, you told them a girl submitted my Valentine's survey for me and I got crap for that so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I wouldn't mind if you told Gwen though. I feel like she doesn't have retention for information on people she doesn't care about.

Kally: But that's not REALLY you making them smile, it's something else making them smile. You're just enabling, and maybe getting a little bit of bonus point for finding something you knew they specifically would like more than other people. No! The world conditions us to think all kinds of things that are normal are weird, like boys crying, or periods.

Can’t we talk about the orgasms I’ve given, instead? I feel like that’s better advertising.

Kalasin: The smile on the other person's face is pretty great. And I feel a little self-conscious until I know that they like it, too. Then I unleash all the sap lol. It's not fake, the world's just conditioned us to think that it's weird to wear our hearts on our sleeves when it's not :-p