test tube crusher

guys I think planes give me gender envy

can’t eat green vegetables and can’t go outside for fresh air i always knew i wanted to live like a mistreated studio apartment dog

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

i think that harry styles dies really frequently to like putting forks in outlets n shit, and they gotta use a factory to make more harries. but one day one of the fucked up defective harries escaped and they couldnt catch him in time before he became famous and so they just had to let him do this thing. and thats timothee chalamet

whats a stereotype for your country that you absolutely do. mine is that i unironically go "eh" and apologize a lot and i often drink maple syrup straight

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement