Nana Lin

Please,

I will still top up that reksadana after each paycheck even tho I only want to check out shopee everytime I feel like crying.

I will let you eat indomie telor for breakfast, it's better than chugging nescafe and eat at 3 pm when you barely function

I will make time for you to watch your favorite shows, and stalk your favorite c-actor. I know it is hard to study new language on the weekend, which is why i am so proud of you for keep going on.

I promise to eat good food to fuel you.

And let you have nice things when you want it.

Sometimes you are angry at the whole world. Sometimes I will let you be.

I promise you second, 112nd, and thousands of chance. It is your first life.

If no one offers sweet words to soothe your heart, I will write you thousands of this letter.

In the garden of my home

I planted basil seeds and tended then with care

They grow tall and fragrant, and has given me much joy

But in the soil, as always, wild grass sprung and found way

So i unplucked them

I remembered the time when wild grass sprung and tried to rooted its way

In the garden of my heart

I admired its strong will, telling me it belonged there

I knew it did not but i let it stayed a while

Because human tend to give meanings to something meaningless

Glad i plucked it out because like the garden of my home

The garden of my heart that i tend with my most care has grown

Strong, tall, fragrant, colorful

I told you over and over

I hate my hometown

And you see me with your eyes and you never ask why

And thankfully you never did

How am I suppose to tell you all the pain I do not want to face?

Without having your heart broken

This is why I love you

Because when I hurt you don’t shoo them away

You told me it will get better

But we don’t know when

And then you sit with me in silent

While your eyes, your eyes, also hold sorrow

You are hurting when I am hurting

And I have never been loved like that

And even though someone offers me a thousand of beautiful poetries,

Or lyrics to multiple song, or melody of the sad piano