mikan

the rumbling of the moving truck that brought you here is loud.

your aunt drops another box by the doorway. this one marked “MY THINGS!!”. with a heavy sigh, she leans back to stretch her lower back, speaking to you without looking at you.

“ey, c’mon. help me with some of these boxes.” she groans.

your eyes stay fixed on your jelly sandals. you spot two ants walking in a single file line right next to your foot and scuff it to scare them as they scamper a little further away from you. you grip your knees tighter without a word, digging your chin into your skin harshly, making your bottom lip jut out. your aunt groans at your lack of response but doesn’t push and returns to the moving truck with a click of her tongue.

over all the noises of rumbling and occasional buzzing of insects you hear her exchange a casual lighthearted conversation with the driver. his engine—his loud engine—is still running. the roar and rumble of it permeates through the ground and you can feel it running through your bones loudly as he leans against his open door trying to look smooth. you don’t keep your eyes on them for long, looking back at your feet to avoid the glare of the sun ignoring the harsh beat of it on your nape. you’re hot and sweaty and prickly, despite wearing your favourite short overalls.

loud shrieks catch your attention and you look across the road to see a group of kids playing on the basketball court. you recall your aunt loudly pointing it out on the drive here. tapping her nail against the window.

“woow, look—there’s a basketball field here! you can play with the others kids there, too.” she hinted crudely, hoping you’d be more agreeable. you lazily looked in its direction, lip curling up in annoyance seeing kids your age having fun and cartwheeling. kicking balls and shoes and anything else they could find into basketball nets, all nicely contained around those big iron bars. 

all you could think about was how much of a nuisance it was gonna be to live across that, it’d be so loud when you wanted to sleep in.

this brings you back to now, desperately trying to tune out the noises; the rumbling, the talking, the laughing and screeching—

a stray ball whacks against the bars of the steel fence of the court, and the sound doesn’t startle you as hard as it does your aunt. she lets out an unnecessarily loud yelp that causes her and the driver to share a laugh. you scowl, pulling your knees up further to your chest and groan. 

this was your new home. your new life. your new noise. you’d have to get used to it all. except maybe the delivery driver. unless your aunt decided to date him or something…

“HEEEYY!”

the loud noise from above you manages to make you let out a yelp. your head whips around, looking for the unknown threat. you realise the voice is coming from above quickly and look up to see a black head of hair peeking at you from their balcony. although peeking was an understatement. the figure—who you could now faintly tell was a boy around your age—was standing just shadowed by sunlight. his head and upper body balancing on the railing of his balcony, his feet dangled limp in the air, one of his feet bare and the sandal abandoned on the floor.

“hey,” he calls again, pushing up dangerously close to the railing thinking maybe you hadn’t heard him. he’d managed to catch your aunt's attention as well, “be careful up there! that’s dangerous!” she cried but the boy payed her no mind, his bright smile solely on you.

“heeeey, hey—is all that stuff yours?!” he screamed. he points towards the box of your items next to you but quickly stumbles. he plops back down on his heels safely, but not without scaring the pants off you, your aunt and the delivery driver. he decides to crouch down instead, barely squeezing his big face and toothy smile through the bars. 

everything about him is so loud. his legs hang through the gaps of the balcony and make the old bars rattle when he swings them. his voice is loud, his entire presence is.

you’d have to get used to the noise. but not right now, you decide. 

you scowl up at him like he was at fault for the sun’s glare (and with the brightness in his smile he might as well have been) shoving your face back in between your knees. your aunt groans your name incredulously, before apologising to the loud boy for you. your nails dig into your skin in an effort to hold your tongue. she confirms that yes, these were all your things and the boy sounds happy about the prospects of new neighbours. but your aunt’s words do little to satisfy him. he calls for you again. you try your best to ignore his incessant ramblings. he loudly introduces himself to you as Luffy—hm. weird name—and patiently waits after he asks you yours. either he doesn’t get the hint or he’s just stupidly stubborn. either way, you want no part of this. of the sun, of the noises, of him.

“hey, can’t you hear me?! oh, wait! i’ll come down there!”

your head pops up in surprise. he was going to come down? 

and surely enough, you hear the rattle of the iron floor when he shoots up with a start. and after a brief moment of silence he’s face to face—or well, feet to feet—with you. 

“hi! i’m Luffy! what’s your name?”

(either he was plain stupid or just annoyingly stubborn. either way, he’s brighter up close and personal.)

when you look up at him you’re met with a clearer view of his previously light obstructed face. black hair sticking up wildly like he’d just climbed out of bed. a blue tank top and shorts, sandals on his feet and a big straw hat on his head. way too big for him. 

lucky him, you think. he didn’t have to worry about the heat with that huge thing on.

he balances on his feet while he waits for your response. antsy, you frown. 

when you do tell him your name your eyebrow raises when he tests it a few times like he wants to know what it sounds like in his mouth before he nods to himself satisfied. his eyes drift towards your box of items sitting next to you on the curb.

“s’this all yours?” he repeats.

you look back at your box. yup, still had the big, bold, black inked MY THINGS!! scratched on the front. your aunt had already confirmed it yet he still asked you.

“…yup.” 

“cool! can i see it?” he asks excitedly. he’s already forcing himself in your space, crouching down at your level to look at the box more closely.

“hey!” you shriek, your arms aren’t strong enough to drag the heavy cardboard towards yourself, so you settle on flopping over and covering it from his grabby hands. “no touching!”

“why not?” the boy frowns at you. your eyes widen in disbelief.

“because these are my! things!” you slap a hand to the front of the box where the words are written to accentuate your point. the boy looks unfazed. it makes you angrier for some reason. screw the sun and the moving truck and him.

“didn’t your mommy teach you being nosy is bad?” you spit out.

“don’t got one.” Luffy responds swiftly. you startle, but he seems unfazed as he spoke the words naturally. like it wasn’t a big deal.

“…oh.” your voice dies in your throat. guilt creeping in your chest you feel your weight against your precious box of things. you pout, and look back up it him.

“sorry…” you mutter.

this time his eyebrows furrow in confusion “what for?” 

you blink at him, puzzled “because…i was being mean.” you explain, why were you explaining why he should be upset with you?

“i don’t have a mom either, to be honest…” you mutter the last part quiet, bitter and cold. so unlike him and the sun beating on your back. 

“i didn’t think you were being mean. i don’t really care if you were, i just wanted to see your stuff.”

you gape at him. half tempted to lecture him like the grown ups usually did. but you weren’t a grown up, you didn’t want to be.

“sooo,” he sings, kicking a small pebble “can i see?” he grins.

(you weren’t a grown up, but you definitely didn’t want to be like Luffy.)

you do end up letting him look through your box of toys. on the front porch and in the beating sun. it’ll be annoying to clean up but it wasn’t all bad playing with another person. even someone as strange as Luffy. you’d learned a little about him while he was rummaging through your items.

he lives with his grandpa and two brothers in the flat right above yours. (news he’d been very giddy about) him and his brothers apparently had a reputation for being troublemakers.

(you don’t doubt your auntie will also catch wind of it if you knew how much she loved gossip.)

he also liked to hang out with a grown up called Shanks who hangs around the local bar. he babbled about how he got his big straw hat from him as a keepsake. how cool he was even though he only had one arm and how he was kind of like a pirate but the only thought in your mind was what Luffy could possibly be doing hanging out at a bar with a bunch of old drunk guys at 8 years old. you also found out he shared the same age as you.

Luffy had asked you if you liked beetles because he loved beetles and playing, but nobody in the neighbourhood really liked to play with him. “i dunno why, beetles are super cool!” he’d complained with a pout. but you thought it was less about the beetles and more so about him. the old ladies around here liked him, though. he said he enjoyed spending time with them because they’d give him candy. 

“isn’t spending all your time with old grandma’s kinda sad?”

“why? they give me food! and i don’t spend all my time with them! i spend time with Sabo and Ace, too!”

ah, right. how could you have forgotten to mention the legendary Ace and Sabo? in the short time you’d known Luffy you found out his brothers were like deities to him. whatever they did was “super cool” or “awesome” or “super duper funny”. it didn’t matter that they tricked him into staying alone in their apartment with the excuse of keeping watch for bad guys, (which is how he’d come to bother you) that just meant Luffy wasn’t strong enough to stick with them yet.

“that sounds kinda mean...” you say sympathetically. but Luffy doesn’t take your words as kindness. instead, he takes them as a challenge.

“they’re not mean!” he frowned, honour to his brothers over all.

you frowned back “they totally ditched you.” you say bluntly.

“yeah! but—“ he sputtered, fumbling with his words while his eyebrows strained in thought “next time they won’t! “cos i’ll be cool like them, you’ll see!” 

you’d thought that would be the end of the conversation and he’d storm away. but Luffy was very…simple minded. the moment he saw something that caught his eye in your cardboard treasure trove he was right back to shuffling around in it with glittery eyes and a wide smile.

Luffy was kind of a dimwit. but he was a little funny. he’d made you laugh for the first time in a week when he’d randomly demonstrated his ability to do a hand stand only for him to fall flat on his back and the noise that punched out of his chest managed to make you grip your stomach with laughter. despite you clearly making fun of him he wasn’t the least bit embarrassed. instead he smiled, he laughed along with you laughing at him. everything seemed to pick up when he laughed, the wind warmed and the sun shone brightly. it was comfortable for a little bit.

it was when Luffy started complaining about being hungry that a loud voice bellowed his name. he stiffened, turning around stiff as an army cadet. when you were met with the stern face of his grandfather, you also instinctively straighten up, gulping.

Luffy’s grandpa scooped him up by the back of his top like a momma cat grabbing her kitten by its scruff. Luffy wiggled around helplessly while the older man questioned him incessantly.

“you’re here alone again, ain’t ya? where d’yer other rascal brothers run off to, huh?!”

“i-i dunno— i said i dunno, gramps—le’go o’ meee!!” he whined. shaking his little fists as he stuck his tongue out.

“stubborn little…” his grandpa gruffed. his eyes met yours and you almost squeaked before he did a complete 180. he greeted you with a warm smile, crouching down to hold out his hand and introduce himself— Monkey D. Garp.—huh. weird names.

“n-nice to meet you…” you said shakily. when his hand encased yours you yelped in surprise “OW—!”

he had the uncle grip.

“oh, sorry lil’ lady! can’t control m’strength with you younguns sometimes!” he said cheekily.

“grandpa’s handshakes hurt like hell!”

Garp looked as if he’d wrangle his grandson out of shock. he knocked his fist onto the little boy’s head “OI! who taught you that word, you brat?! i’ll bet it was Ace! or that no good drunk, Shanks!” he spit.

Luffy sputtered useless lies, lips forming to the side while he looked away from his grandfather.

Luffy also sucked at lying.

Garp quickly turned to greet your auntie before saying his goodbyes. still in his grandfather’s grip Luffy waved at you sneakily, although his voice projected so loudly the stealth was chucked out the window.

“see you tomorrow, Y/n!!” he smiled. bright. like the sun and the breeze.

“…okay.” you nodded, and his smiled widen even more somehow. even as his grandpa threatened him with a fistful of love—whatever that was, you didn’t want to find out.

yet when you looked back at him disappearing up the stairs, toys and school trinkets scattered around the front porch that you’d have to annoyingly clean up alone, everything else seemed quiet now thanks to the image the loud boy left in your mind, louder than anything else. like he planned to outshine the sun with only his smile.

and when you snapped out of your daze, you realised the delivery truck was long gone.

<It's only right that you should Play the way you feel it But listen carefully to the sound Of your loneliness. . .>

Luffy was a boy built of big dreams.

every time you’d see Luffy, which was practically every day, he’d have something new he wanted to be or do. 

he wanted to get taller “even taller than Ace! and gramps!” he’d say. so he wouldn’t get picked on by them all the time. 

he wanted to grow strong like the hero’s in the cartoons, too. “i don’t wanna be a hero, though, just strong like one! or like those pro wrestlers that do crazy suplexes on tv!!” 

he wanted to get a new bike for Christmas, he wanted to have the biggest plate of food during your neighbour’s annual barbecue  (which he easily achieved on his own and it never failed to make the grown ups laugh). he wanted to be cool like Shanks and he wanted a super fast race car that could take him anywhere.

at first, you’d make fun of him for having so many ambitions “you say something new every day!” you’d laugh, and Luffy would laugh right along with you in agreement. yet when he spoke you noticed that there was never a hint of doubt in his voice. in fact, his fantasies where barely that, he spoke with so much certainty every time he spoke his beliefs it seemed like the universe would bend to his will. like if spoke loudly enough it would nod and bow and give him what he wants. you don’t know where he could’ve gotten this frankly spoiled mentality from, but maybe it was the way he carried himself; tall, even though he was the same height as you, and certain. confidence too big for someone your age but it fit him like a glove. he was unashamed and unrestrained no matter what came his way.

so every time he’d voice something new to you, you felt almost special. proud that he’d share his stupid little dreams with you even though you were convinced he only spoke to you because he needed someone that would listen. but you didn’t mind, because Luffy wasn’t entirely spoiled. and you knew because he’d share his dreams with you. not just in words but in thought.

when Luffy wanted to get taller and stronger and cooler he’d add “—that way, if anybody tries to hurt us i could beat ‘em up, like bam!!” he’d demonstrate a horrible jab and kick, and you’d laugh saying you didn’t need protecting. “especially not from a wimp like you!” you’d tease, and Luffy would jump on you and you’d wrestle until your bellies hurt from laughing.

 when Luffy wanted his new bike he promised he’d let you ride on the back. and he did end up getting a new bike. and when he’d immediately clobbered on your door at the crack of dawn right after getting it he’d pushed and shoved your sleepy body onto the back of his bike. you’d lost your balance while zooming down a hill and both toppled off. your knees were bloody and your hands scratched from trying to break your fall but you’d both laughed loudly through it. even when his grandfather had scolded him so loudly he no doubt woke up everybody in the building. (he’d treated both of your injuries anyway. Luffy’s just a little too rough, but you could tell he was holding back, it was still Christmas after all.) 

and when he got his big plate of food…well Luffy was a glutton and didn’t like to share, probably a byproduct of living with two older brothers you found out were just rowdy as him. but it was funny seeing him scarf down his food in record speed, choke on a chicken bone then go right back to eating. and he always faithfully sat swinging his legs right next to you. pouting when you wouldn’t share your food like you hadn’t caught him red handed trying to steal a bite from your plate.

and of course, he promised he’d take you anywhere you wanted with his super fast red race car. “we could go on a road trip!”

“wouldn’t you wanna go with Ace or something? why me?” you’d ask once. you were only his silence filler after all.

luffy looked at you like you grew a second head “‘cos your my friend and i wanna go with you.” he’d said, easy as that. “plus, Ace would’ve called my car a kiddie car just cos i’m smaller than him and i would’ve gotten mad anyway.”

and just like that, you’d been sucked into Luffy’s orbit as his one and only friend.

literally. tagging along with Luffy meant you were introduced to his entire life. your auntie never allowed you to spend the night at the boy's house but you’d spend every other day outside with him. sometimes going further than you were allowed to when you were sure those older aunties upstairs weren’t watching you both like hawks from their balconies. going to the nearby corner store to buy candy would get you joking scoldings from the store clerk while you giggled and ran like bats out of hell. and you’d run back to his apartment to avoid the summer heat. then usually Ace was home.

he’d lounge around the living room when he wasn’t out causing trouble with Sabo, who’d have summer classes at the library. (yes, he signed up willingly. nerd.) he was bossy just because he was three years older. he’d turn the tv on super loud to annoy you and ruffle your hair on purpose because you hated when he did it. 

(Luffy didn’t see it the same way you had though. he was annoyed but only because Ace was apparently “hogging” you. gripping onto you tightly while he dragged you away from his brother who laughed loudly.)

but Ace was also kinda cool. he’d stand up for you when older kids on your block would try to scare you. he was scary when he was mad, and he’d often ask you if you had any trouble at school and to tell him if you did.

“boys your age are super dumb, so let me know when they bother ya! i’ll set em straight.” he’d said cooly, pointing to himself and everything with a proud shiny smirk.

“but you’re dumb too, Ace.” 

“h-hey!! i’m being nice to you, brat!”

“you are dumb ace,” Luffy piped up as well, grinning “‘cos you got held back!”

“SHADDUP, YOU LITTLE—COME HERE!" he shot up from his seat and straight to his brother’s neck. they tumbled and tussled and you laughed, hooting and hollering.

despite it all, Ace was kind, too. he’d carry you on his back sometimes if he felt like it and he’d faithfully treat you with an ice pop from his freezer every time you left their flat. (he’d hold it to your arm to make you cry out in surprise, just because he could and with a mean little snicker. he was still older and older meant annoying in Ace's book.) despite how annoying he was sometimes, you liked Ace. he was definitely cool. kinda like those bad boys on tv. Luffy hadn’t agreed with you then because his brother wasn’t like in those “chick flics” he gagged, sticking his tongue out.

Sabo was also someone Luffy admired. he was to him “super smart—like genius level!” and at the time you’d thought so too, only some type of super genius would willingly do his summer worksheet. 

Sabo was nicer to you and was more often than not the one who’d reign in Ace, “stop teasin’ her so much, Ace!” he’d laugh lightheartedly. and he’d always turn to you with a wink and promise he’d keep his brother in check.

“tch! as if you could.” Ace would mutter under his breath. they’d start squaring up immediately with Luffy itching to join in while you could only shake your head, disappointed.

Sabo would tease, but he’d usually slow down quicker when he saw you getting agitated. he talked like an old man sometimes, too. he’d say you got taller every time he saw you and when you’d mentioned it to him with a laugh he’d looked genuinely shocked. squeezing his chest and everything.

Luffy’s brothers were exactly what you’d expected from someone like him. he was constantly running after them. trying to act cool like them even if it meant causing trouble or getting hurt. the older you both got, the more you ended up becoming his makeshift nurse when he’d come back from causing mayhem with his brothers with minor injuries because he feared the wrath of his grandpa should he see him in this state. you were no lighter on him though, you never held back from scolding him for constantly being on his brother’s heels.

“but it was fun!” he’d say, lighthearted.

“i bet it’ll be real fun when you end up in jail.” you’d snark, digging your washcloth into his cheek. 

he winced at the sting, tilting away from you and making you grab his shoulder to sit him still.

“i’m not gonna end up in jail. i’m faster now! cops won’t even be able to catch me.” he’d grin, problem solved for him apparently. but not for you; you frown. slapping his leg lightly.

“my auntie tells me never to deal with jailbirds. i don’t like criminals.”

Luffy had jumped back in shock at your words. granted, you didn’t really know what a jailbird was yourself, but your aunt always told you to stay away from trouble. and you didn’t want Luffy to be trouble, because then who would he tell his ridiculous dreams to?

(you didn’t want to admit you wanted it to be you forever.)

later on that week, you’d caught Ace by the elevator and while riding on with him he’d snickered. and when you raised a brow in question he teased you for managing to "reform" his brother.

“guess he doesn’t wanna be a—what was it? hoodlum? nah, nah—jailbird! that was it!” he guffawed. “guess he doesn’t wanna be like us after all.”

his words made your entire body warm.

he’d still stick to his brother’s heels, always. but by ten, Luffy would spend more time with you. annoyingly and embarrassingly, he had a habit of yelling loud enough for you to hear from your balcony if you were home “Ace an’ Sabo are out again, so let’s go play!!” he’d call out, hands cupped around his mouth.

he’d still sing their praises, talk about how cool they were. he'd told you once the last time they came home they almost got caught by the police and got dogs sicked out on them. he’d added that while he was asleep, Ace had snuck onto his bunk in the middle of the night and they told him he was glad he wasn’t there that time.

“i dunno if Ace thought i was asleep or if he knew i was awake the whole time..” Luffy hummed, deep in thought but expression serene.

“that’s sweet of him,” you said. but Luffy shook his head.

“nah,” Luffy smiled, continuing to balance along the curb “just means i gotta get stronger!” he’d spoken into the air, determined to have it hear his voice.

Luffy was a boy built of big dreams, all individual thoughts and desires that shaped him into who he was. but on the night of his 11th birthday, he’d told you his biggest one yet.

a loud rattle by your window had startled you awake. you looked to see feet dangling by the window and you were almost tempted to throw your window open and push the burglar. what you thought was a burglar ended up being Luffy. you could hear the sound of his struggle while he tried to climb down the fire escape as safely as he could. he kicked your window two times and stumbled on the third, his version of a knock since his hands were clearly busy holding him up for dear life. you quickly shot out of bed through your sleepy haze.

“LUFFY?! what the HELL are you doing, you psycho?!” you hissed through the night air. 

“hiya, N/n,” he grunted, but still with that stupid grin. “your sleep hat’s leanin’.” he giggled.

“don’t—what the—get down from there!!” you sputtered, how could he try to have a conversation like this?!!

(but reflexively, you fixed your sleep bonnet.)

“i will, just move out the way!” 

when you did, he swung in clumsily, rolling inside with the flair of a baby bird who’s wings were covered in sticky gum. “woah—!” he gasped. you shrieked, covering your eyes in disbelief.

“hehehe, what’re ya hidin’ for?” luffy spoke calmly after a moment, entirely too calm for somebody who’d climbed through your window and could’ve potentially died on the day of his birthday if things had gone differently. you don’t know how you’d explain this to his grandpa, to his brothers. but Luffy snaps you out of your thoughts by pulling your hands away from your eyes with a giggle and a closed eye smile. his cheeks slightly flushed from the adrenaline.

“ya scared of me or sum’?” he teased, your wrists in his grip.

you huffed, frowning. finally speaking when you managed to catch your breath (you wonder why his stunt took more out of you than him, he couldn’t be human. no way.) 

“scared of how stupid you are, yeah…” you grumbled. Luffy giggled. leaning back on his heels. straw hat dangling on his back. he looked out of your still open window at the pitch black sky. from your window you couldn’t see the moon, it was blocked off by the apartment across the street, taller than yours. so you’d always watch new year’s eve fireworks from Luffy’s fire escape. but if you squinted and tilted your head hard enough you could catch a glimpse of its glow. yet it didn’t seem like what Luffy was looking for. you don’t know what it is he’s looking at exactly, but you adjust to sit next to him anyway.

“can i tell ya somethin’?” 

his quiet question catches you off guard. he wasn’t one to be shy about sharing his thoughts, his mouth moved before his brain caught up most of the time. or it moved as if it had a will of it’s own.

“yeah, sure.”

Luffy leaned against the window sill. the light from the lamp posts illuminated his face, his smile, as he spoke;

“i’m gonna be the freest man in the world.”

for some reason, chills rucked up your spine. 

Luffy always proclaimed everything he wanted to do, this wasn’t anything new. he wanted something, he’d get it; he wanted to do something, he’d do it. 

“someday, i will be. i dunno when but i’ll do it. and i’ll know when i do.”

you could only sit quiet for a moment.

“so like…a bum?”

he laughed, nudging his shoulder to yours playfully “bums’re lazy! i’m not gonna be lazy! i’m gonna be free!”

“how free?” you asked, because you truly wondered what freedom was for luffy. was it freedom to do whatever he wants?

“that too, yeah.” he responded, you hadn’t realised you said that out loud. “i wanna be free to choose for myself what i wanna do. where i wanna go…” he hummed, scratching his hair in frustration “i don’t know how to explain it—i just want anything ever holdin’ me back.”

he turned to you then. his head dug inside his elbow hiding the lower part of his face from you, but you could still see the corners of his smile.

“i want that for you, too. want you to do whatever you wanna..” he mumbled, voice droopy. “you…and Ace…an’ Sabo..n’ gramps…”his eyes slowly shut “n’you..” he repeated, voice trailing off while he fell deeper and deeper into sleep.

Luffy was made of dreams. ones he held dear and ones he shared with you. ones he wanted for you and all of the people in his orbit. and even as his voice drooped and lowered and faded with sleep, he still spoke them firmly, determined. certain. speaking them loud enough wasn’t an issue anymore for his growing body—at 11 he was sure he could speak and it was bound to happen. he smiled even in his sleep and you wondered what he dreamed about until you forgot how long you’d been watching. until his mouth started falling open and drool trickled out of its corners.

“mmnghh, meaat…” he mumbled in his sleep. 

you giggled, covering your mouth to hide the noise. 

that was the first time a boy had slept in your room.

<Now, here I go again I see the crystal visions I keep my visions to myself It's only me who wants to Wrap around your dreams And have you any dreams you'd like to sell? Dreams of loneliness>

“yo, yn! come pick up table four!!” 

you peek your head out from behind the beaded door curtain “dude, you’re already out there!”

“nah,” your coworker, Del smirks, leaning against the doorway  “s’your regular~!” he sings.

you roll your eyes, spinning back inside the break room “..be right there.” you grumble. 

unsurprisingly—Luffy’s the one at table four. blue baggy shorts and a red baseball tee on and of course, his iconic straw hat like a centre piece, poking out from behind the menu. his basketball shoes are untied as usual and wave from left to right.

he’s practically melting into the plush seats and you have half a mind to scold him but at that moment he looks up and sees you. his face brightens as always. the same happy, goofy boy, your Luffy with the faint scar under his eye. but there is something different you’ve recently gotten used to. the little bandaid over his eyebrows, the slight redness and chipping on his knuckles where he’s gripping laminated paper.

“Y/n!” he greets you with a bright smile. “you get off now, right?”

“i was supposed to, yeah.” you spit sarcastically, flashing him your fakest sweet smile. “‘till some big back barged in here and asked for me specifically even though he could’ve asked for anyone else.”

“i like when it’s you.” Luffy giggled unfazed, leaning back in his chair like he owned the place, the seats squeak from the strain of carrying his flopped form. “sides, i’m giving you overtime—means you get more money!” he teased.

Luffy was a frequent visitor of The Braised Lamb, so familiar that he knew everyone who worked there and everyone who worked there knew him. they always greeted him warmly and there wasn’t a moment Luffy was here where you couldn’t hear laughter from all the way in the break room, from staff and customers alike. out of all the regulars, Luffy was a fan favourite. 

except all of your coworkers called him your regular. because every time he was there he would call for you to take his order without fail. even when you’d have them say you were on break he’d simply wait, only to complain about how he was starving when he’d finally see you. but he’d never stop doing it. fast forward a year of you working there, it had become an inside joke between the staff. one you hated with a passion.

“nice try, hooker.” you spit, ignoring his laughter at your petty insult. he’d received it because Luffy was always stomping out of his apartment in the middle of the night with “something to do.” the walls were old and thin, and it wasn't like he had a knack for being sneaky, so you'd question him often. that something? he wouldn’t tell you, always waving you off with a joke and very nervous laughter. all you knew was that he was out by the time you'd wake up and always there before your shift ended to order some food and walk you home. you started referring to him as such to tease him. you didn’t call him that often, only when he really managed to piss you off. 

you pull out your writing pad and pen, scratching it down onto the paper to test the ink, screw your boss and his old fashioned ways, you think bitterly. “let’s speed it up so i can go home, yeah?” 

Luffy nods, looking back at the menu and humming in thought “hmmmmm, ge’meeee…a big beef noodle bowl and a chicken one—with the runny egg on the beef one, that one’s for me!” 

Luffy’s list of food progressively grows lengthier, and he seemed blind to the questioning looks you were sending him when he kept adding foods that could feed a family of six. he finally told you that it wasn’t only for him, pouting when you distrusted him, insistent that it was for his brothers and grandpa as well. and that was all nice and good but this was still a lot…he’d even ordered dessert for gods’ sake!

“okay…will that be all?” you say tentatively.

“oh, yeah—what’d you wanna eat, Y/n?” 

you raise a brow. “me?”

Luffy nods with a smile, waiting for your answer. 

“i dunno—i guess i’m feeling some gyoza right now…” you think. Luffy’s smile widens. "that it?" he asks. you nod warily, his eyebrows pull up and so does his bandaid and you almost ask him about it before he speaks again.

“kay, i’ll have that too, then!”

this time, your pen freezes. “Luffy…you know i’m not spotting you for this, right?”

his eyebrows furrow “course i do! i wasn’t gonna make you pay for all that.”

“then how are you paying for this?”

“..with money?” you hate how he frowns like you’re the stupid one. “you okay? you been workin’ all day, right? maybe you should go sit down.” he says, eyes searching for yours. your veins pull and your grip tightens on your pen, immediately forgetting about your concerns you scowl at him.

“i was sitting down! five minutes earlier! until you called for me, fuck-ass!” luffy hums an apologetic small “o-ooooh….right.” you roll your eyes with an exasperated sigh. you spin around towards the kitchen “big order for table four!” you call.

“don’t forget the gyoza!” luffy calls after you. you flip him off without looking back. you hear him laugh and shake your head.

. . . 

“order up!” 

. . . 

after saying your goodbyes with the rest of the staff, you leave through the back with a sigh. looking up at the pitch black sky, you pull out your phone to check for the next train when you’re met with Luffy. holding three bags of food on one arm with his phone in hand and leaning against the wall. he looks up and smiles again like he hadn’t seen you in years. you wonder how he’s able to do that even after all these years. but your own mouth pulls up seeing him waiting for you.

“hey! was just about to call you!” he shoves his phone in his pocket and reaches for your free hand. he always ran warm, you had gotten used to the feel of it. reflexively your thumb runs over his knuckles. bruised, scuffed. unfamiliar. your lips twitch without your control.

“let’s go.” he smiles, you nod.

“next train's in fifteen.” Luffy hums in response, swinging your hands slightly.

“we’ll make it in time.” he reponds, and this time you hum.

you’d gotten used to these moments of calm silence with Luffy. he who was always so eager to move and do things also sometimes had moments when the quiet of the night called to him. where he simply wanted to feel the shadows of the street lights shine behind his eyelids and the puffs of cold air when he exhaled. 

your thumb grazes his bruised knuckles again and they falter, but his hand squeezes yours. 

“if we don’t hurry, your food will get cold.” you tease quietly.

“Ace an’ Sabo won’t mind reheatin’ it.” he says simply. “and i know you’re tired from being on your feet all day, so we don’t have to rush.”

your heart warms. a simple but sweet and considerate gesture, everything about it screamed Luffy. 

“good. i really don’t even feel like walking right now,” you groan tiredly “i’d sleep right here on the sidewalk if i could..”

Luffy chuckles. “i could carry ya if you want.”

“think your hands are more than full right now, but i appreciate it, Lu.” you snort and squeeze his hand.

“s’no big.” he responds. strangely quiet, like he wants to say more. but he doesn’t. instead he sighs.

“maaaan, i’m hungry!” 

you giggle “no whinin’!” 

“you were just whinin’!”

“was not!”

“were too!”

you continue to laugh along the way, hand in his grip and the unfamiliar feel of his knuckles.

when Luffy rings your doorbell, two of his takeout bags are long gone and only one remains; his beef bowl and your gyoza.

“delivery!” he teases. you roll your eyes fondly, stepping back to let him in.

“your auntie ain’t home?” he asks, kicking his shoes off.

“nah, late shift at the hospital.” you respond, walking to the kitchen while luffy sets the bags down on your large coffee table “i already heated the food up for us!” Luffy calls loudly. “you sure you’re good with just this?!” 

“yeah, i got left over rice!” your breath halts when you hear the shuffling of plastic bags, the overwhelming scent of ramen and Luffy’s greedy hum. “LUFFY! placemats, dammit! do you want my auntie to kill us both?!”  

“oh—“ Luffy giggles “sorry!” 

you groan, shaking your head; you come back with the mats and your rice, placing them on the table “fuckin’ big back..”

“i’m starving!” he whines, pouting at you. chin on the table. you pat his straw hat, digging it onto his head so he splutters. 

“have some composure.” you laugh despite yourself, and seeing the smile on your face brings his back. Luffy excitedly tells you to eat up and starts without you, humming between gobbles and loud slurps. and you both enjoy some warm food by the tv. 

but something surges back to you. a thought. 

“where’d you get that from?”

Luffy’s slurps freeze. he looks at you wide eyed and cheeks full, a deer caught in headlights, it almost makes you laugh. 

“get what?” he asks, but his hand flies over his bandaid to itch his temple.

your pointer digs into the bandaid and he winces lightly “that.” 

“o-oh!! yeah…yeah, that!” he chokes out. his eyes dart around the room, anywhere but you, to look for anything to save him. then he shovels more food into his mouth. “this is really good, right?!”

in all the years since you’d been here and knew Luffy, he’d remained the shittiest liar you know. 

“Luffy...” you warn. it hadn’t been a big deal before, but now that he was acting like this your eyebrows furrow in worry.

his expression flickers once he sees yours. he drops his chopsticks and reaches for you, his thumb landing on your lower lip.

“don’t look like that..” he mumbles.

“then don’t lie to me.” you said firmly. you’d meant for it to be firm, but your voice wavers just a bit.

“i—it’s nothin’. i just got into it with some guy..”

“what guy?” you insist.

“doesn’t matter,” he insists back but he frowns desperately “i don’t even remember his name, honest. we were just out, Ace and i, and he was talkin’ trash so we fucked him up.” 

“what—“ Luffy hanging out causing trouble with his brothers wasn’t new, but had he been getting in trouble with neighbourhood gangs? your heart starts squeezing. “what’re you jumping people for?! what’d he say—how did he even know about you anyway?” 

Luffy flinches like your questions hurt him “Ace is well known ‘round here, y’know? and he scolded me, too. said i ‘run my mouth too much for my own good’…” he grumbled, face pouty.

you’re slightly reassured to know he hadn’t gotten himself into anything serious, but you couldn’t go light on him. “you should be more careful, he might come back with more people next time.” 

“then i’ll just kick all their asses!” he responded with his stupid grin, problem solved for him. you sigh.

“the hell you will.” you respond, punching his shoulder. 

he whines, even though you're sure it did not hurt him “what? you don’t believe me?” 

“i know you’re strong, Luff. but multiple people by yourself? i don’t know if that’s possible for anyone that’s not like…from Baki.” you joke. 

“i’m stronger than Baki for sure.” Luffy says proudly, causing you to laugh. 

Luffy had gotten stronger and taller like he assured you he would. he’d grown up a lot in the ten years you knew him but every year you’re glad to see he hadn’t changed at all. he’d stay the same, your very best friend and though he’d met new friends at his school like you’d expected him and his bright personality to attract; Zoro, Ussop, Sanji, to name a few…he was constantly tied to you. waiting for you by the gates of your school every day with that grin. even when his grandpa would meet him at your doorstep with a fistful of love for ditching class.

yeah, he’d gotten taller. stronger, handsome…but he was still just your friend Luffy! 

you pick a bite of gyoza between your chopsticks, bringing it to his face without looking at him. “just quit getting yourself in trouble. i told you i don’t hang out with jailbirds.” you chide. Luffy freezes for only a moment, then that big goofy smile takes over his face once more. he leans forward and chomps down, munching away happily, and gathers a few scoops of the bites he had on the side to lead them to your mouth for an equal exchange. he’d gotten better at sharing, despite remaining just as hungry and just as greedy…

Luffy, always as impulsive and always having to keep you on your toes. leans until he’s in your face but even still grabs your cheeks. your eyes widen and he smiles wider. he presses a smooch to your nose—it’s unnecessarily long and unnecessarily wet, and you giggle. you grab his shoulders to push him but he leans closer, pressing more ramen flavoured kisses to both your cheeks “you’re the best, N/n.” he says, and he always says it like he wants to add more but like he himself doesn’t know what to say.

he presses one last kiss to your forehead, giggling when you complain about his “nasty grease mouth” on you and you two return to eating by the tv. when your bellies are fully and you sigh contently, luffy leans back against the couch and his bruise covered knuckles graze yours. you reach for him and he squeezes your hand tightly. no words need to be exchanged for now.

it doesn’t dawn on you until much later, around a month later maybe, or perhaps you’d just been silencing your own thoughts about the issue. nevertheless, it dawns on you that Luffy is actively lying to you.

he hasn’t been blowing you off and he’s not ignoring you. he comes to pick you up at work every day, with a few new colourful bruises each time or a singular bandaid covering his nose bridge if you’re really lucky. his new look had gotten him a few comments from the people around you; neighbours, your coworkers, even customers. he had always been a fan favourite, your Luffy. yet just like with you, he’d wave them off with a joke every time, but unlike them, it took much more than a joke to get you off his back.

at first, he claims it’s because he’s been working out with Zoro, you’d met him before. quiet guy with sharp eyes who always seemed too mysterious of a character type to be hanging out with Luffy. until he’d get roped into Luffy’s shenanigans and you realised one was just as dumb as the other. you were glad Luffy had been able to find a friend that matched him, it even seemed like they were long lost brothers at times.

“Zoro always wants to go to the gym, like, mega early. i swear, it’s unbearable! says it’s to clear his mind or whatever, but i just think he uses it as an excuse to get to kick my ass..” he rambled once, leaning against the railing of the creaky old stairs of your apartment. he reached for your hand then, pointing to his cheek “see! he did this, isn’t he the worst?! you’ll kiss it better fa’ me, yeah?” he pouted. 

that might not have been a complete lie, but it was never the full truth and Luffy was actively lying to you. that was a fact nothing or no one could deny. not even his stupid jokes or his stupid crooked smile and the way he’d hightail it out of there when he knew you didn’t buy his shit. when he got caught in a lie and had no more excuses for himself.

it also didn’t help that the stomping down the stairs you’d be hearing a while ago through your thin walls started becoming more faint. quiet, slow ones, like the person climbing was trying to be sneaky. this was also around the time Luffy’s morning stomps for his workouts with Zoro became less frequent. 

when you asked him about it, he stiffened. “aw, you been hearin’ me?” he laughed nervously. 

“not like it’s hard. you stomp like a behemoth.”

he’d laughed, then. but he’d been strangely quick to end the conversation and run off. very, very unlike him.

his brothers where also no help at all. they always seemed like they were hiding something whenever you talked to them about Luffy’s odd behaviour. you don’t know if it was some kind of weird genetic defect or if they all inherited their inability be convincing liars from each other. 

him suddenly not going to the gym as much?

“he’s not good with keeping routine, you know how he is..” Ace waved off.

always seeming like he was hiding something?

“he seems the same to me ! maybe you were imagining it?” Sabo said sweetly.

the bruises that kept appearing all over his body?

“..w-well, i mean, he’s—y’know—Luffy! he’s a klutz y’know? real moron that one…you know, i saw him trip over his own leg last week!” Sabo sputtered with a nervous laugh.

him always coming back at ungodly hours of the night? 

“he’s Luffy! who knows what he’s doin’..probably hanging out with his other friends…what, don’t tell me you’re feelin’ jealous?” Ace teased. 

(that remark had gotten him a gut punch.)

but the worst part of it all was that Luffy was, and has always been, a piece of shit liar. he couldn’t lie to save his, his brothers’ and his grandpa’s life combined, and it pissed you off that he at least couldn’t develop some decent lying skills when he did it straight to your face. he couldn’t at least spare you with some manufactured denial, the bastard was that bad at it!

that was because Luffy always wore his heart on his sleeve. if he felt something, he’d say it, and on the off chance he didn’t it would very clearly show on his face. like a few days before your birthday, every year without fail, he’d cover his mouth and sprint away from you, but you’d see the very giddy glint in his eyes and how he always seemed to hold back a grin around you. needless to say, you’d refined your acting skills every year when he’d pull out a present from behind his back with a loud “surprise!” at the crack of dawn because he simply couldn’t wait anymore.

and now he was lying to you. not only him, but Ace and Sabo too. ignoring the worry in your heart, that just hurt. a lot.

you feared what Luffy could’ve gotten himself into; had he gotten into drug dealing? was he getting extorted for money? luffy had never been the type to waver or be intimidated by anybody, but he wouldn’t tell you anything so your mind was doing it for you now. maybe him and his brothers had gotten into something shady? but they weren’t like that. trouble making idiots occasionally getting their asses kicked for a busted window? sure. but criminals? them?

you couldn’t imagine it. as stupid and preachy as it sounded, you wanted there to be better for them. that you’d all be able to do something with yourselves beyond the town where you’d gotten used to police sirens late at night, the loud pops of fireworks, or something else sometimes. the murmurs in the streets when last night’s ring fight went south. the nice and less nice people in your little neighbourhood.

you had no idea what to imagine or what to think. or what to do. who to talk to. 

that was until one night. where you wake up with a startle and a knock on your window.

usually, you don’t gasp so hard your throat clogs, because there was only one person you knew would be crazy enough to do this. but your head had been so cluttered lately the culprit of your misery, Luffy himself knocking at your window, was the last thing you expected. even after all these years. 

except this isn’t like before. because you've never seen him in the state he was in now. his shirt crumpled like he’d thrown it on without thinking. straw hat askew on his head and his face…oh, his face.. you don’t think your heart had ever dropped harder.

despite the black eye forming on his face and the red, tissue filled nose he was sporting, he was all fucking smiles. hand at your window just in case you hadn’t seen him like you could’ve missed him in the state he was in. 

slowly, out of habit you unlock the window, but your heart is beating wildly. so hard you can hear it in your ears. Luffy’s saying something about how chilly it is, but you can’t even hear him close the window behind him. your gaze is fixed on him and slowly he comes to understand. his eyes soften. there’s understanding and sadness swimming in his eyes. even something akin to shame. 

“…what the hell?” you start slowly. 

“N/n…” Luffy starts, reaching for you. but you won’t let him finish or get any closer, you shuffle away from him, shaking your head.

“w-what the hell..? why’re you—Luffy, what the fuck is wrong with you?!” you gasp. it comes out harshly, so harsh he flinches like you’d hit him.

“it’s..not that bad, right?” he tries to smile, it pulls at the split in his lip and he licks over the wound with a careless “ouch…” that makes your blood run cold and boil at the same time.

“why—why are you here like this?!” you whisper shriek. you almost wish he hadn’t shown up despite you aching to just be able to talk to him. 

“i..i can’t go upstairs like this, gramps’ll kill me..!” he whispers back loudly, gaze pleading. you could almost slap him, you should smack him!

“wh-and you think i won’t kill you?!” 

“..i was hopin’ so..” he pouts, it tries to come out as a joke but his voice is too unsteady for it. 

you slump in surrender, a tired sigh escaping your mouth as you cover your face in your hands. “what the hell is going on with you, Luffy..?” you plead. “please, just…” you can’t finish your sentence.

Luffy is quiet for a long while. the draft from outside the closed window drags against it. you hear him shuffling.

“i..” he starts, voice low “i didn’t want ya to find out like this. didn’t want ya t’find out at all..” he chuckles humourlessly. “i just—it wasn’t supposed ta go that far. this guy, i recognised ‘im cus i beat him up one time, he said that his big bro heard about him and wanted to see me or somethin’. i wasn’t gonna at first, but he said he knew Ace..and he said it’d make me good money..”

“so what, you went and got your face smashed in for money?” you scoff. you decide to ignore Luffy casually mentioning beating someone up. 

he frowns “i didn’t. i—we were fightin’ and i won. f’you think i look bad you should see him..” he mumbles. “and they gave me the money—and i bought a bunch of food with it!” he says excitedly, pleading “for Ace, and Sabo. and gramps. Zoro and Ussop ate from my takeout. Sanji ate some too, and Nami and Robin.. and you,” he adds “i jus’ wanted us all to have a nice, greasy meal…it started like that, at least.” 

“Luffy…” you whimper, running a hand over your face. you can’t compute, you understand, you think, but it just won’t stick. “i—what you’re doing could get you in trouble. you have to stop. now.” 

Luffy looks down at his lap, looking torn. he can’t look at you, his straw hat slides over his eyes, covering them. 

“i can’t..” 

your eyebrows furrow, something in your chest sparks painfully “…they’re threatening you, aren’t they? we can sort it out if—“

“it’s not that!” Luffy’s voice rings out. you startle, eyebrows furrowing harder in confusion. 

“what are you talking about?”

“i-i can’t ‘cos..i’ve got a match next week, so..” 

your chest flames, your heart throbs. your eyes sting with tears you won’t let spill and you are so unbelievably angry.

“what the fuck are you talking about, you moron?!” you spit out. Luffy’s lip trembles “i—so what, you’re some type of gangster now?! what is it? the thrill or some bullshit you heard in a boxing movie?”

“it’s not that simple, Y/n,” he mutters lowly “it’s..when i’m there, i don’t wanna stop. makes me feel..good. strong.” he breathes. and oh, the way he says it; airy, entranced. his eyes peak from under his hat and you seem them; wide and shining with the thrill of adventure like when he convinced you he could totally bike down the street with you on the back. he looks happy, like he always does. dumb and goofy, your Luffy.

“i know you think it’s about Ace or Sabo, but it’s not about them anymore, i don’t wanna drag them down but…this is—it’s like—“ he looks up like he forgot he was even talking to you, and when he sees you he frowns. you don’t understand, he can see it in your eyes. and the way his expression crumples makes your heart squeeze despite yourself.

“i—you can’t. you can’t,” you insist, strain in your voice as you lean closer to him now “Luffy—those places are bad. they’re dangerous—you could die out there!” 

“i know that. just means i was too weak, then.” Luffy cuts in sharply, he continues before you can speak sense into him. “i know you and the others are worried about me. you talk to me like i’m stupid, but i’m not. i know what i’m doing. m’not a kid anymore, Y/n.” he says, voice rising with his own emotions.

“well, clearly, you don’t know what you’re doing considering you’re letting other guys beat on you for cash!!”

“i told you it’s not like that! i—i didn’t want you to find out like…this! ”

“oh, should i thank you, then?! for using my place as a shelter so you don’t get your ass whooped? i mean—fuck, Luffy! you—you dodge me for weeks—“

Luffy’s eyes widen, he splutters “i wasn’t dodgin’!”

“you were!! you were and you were lying and i was worried, you jerk! and the entire time you’re doing something like this! i—“ you cut yourself off to take a sharp, deep, breath. you feel like you’re underwater. “i thought you wanted to be free..”

Luffy’s eyes bulge, it’s almost funny how viscerally he reacts to that “..i am! it feels like i am, out there! i hate when i feel stuck sometimes but when i’m in the ring it’s like…nothing but that matters anymore!”

“what about when the cops catch you? or when you get shanked in some fuckin’ alleway—how free are you gonna be then?!” 

“that’s not gonna happen.” 

“and how would you know—do you hear yourself right now?!”

you’re heaving, you’re both heaving despite not having moved an inch from your bed. this for some reason brings you back to Luffy’s 11th birthday. a memory you hold dearly in your heart, that you think back on fondly. as hard as you tried, you couldn’t stay mad at Luffy. so you had to pretend to, you lie as well.

Luffy suddenly shoots up, he stumbles a bit with a wince and you’re already moving to tend to him before you can control your body, but he’s up before you can.

“you don’t get it.”

“i don’t get it?” you scoff.

“no. you don’t.” he whips around to glare at you, and it freezes you both in your tracks. Luffy moves before you, he grips his hat, and walks out of your room. you want to chase after him, to explain because he doesn’t get it, he really doesn’t. to yell, to punch and kick, you want to break something.

“when you end up dead in a ditch, don’t come crying to me!!” you yell instead, voice cracking. 

you heave and keep heaving even after your door slams. and through your paper thin walls you hear the sound of his shoes descending lower and lower and out of the building to who knows where. you don’t look out of your window to know. you shove your head into your pillow and groan, before collapsing into it with a weak cry.

that was the first time Luffy had left your house without wishing you goodnight.

<Like a heartbeat, drives you mad In the stillness of remembering What you had and what you lost And what you had, and what you lost. . .>

it’s a week later, the day of Luffy’s big match. and you and him haven’t talked since the fight.

you’ve been working, taking on more shifts to distract yourself. you were somewhat thankful that Luffy would fuck off to wherever he went to early so you rarely crossed him when you got back home, because when you did, it always felt like a stab to your heart. 

you remember one time when you were 9, when you and Luffy had an argument. something stupid you can’t recall, but you were ignoring him. Ace and Sabo would show up to your doorstep begging you for help as Luffy had refused to leave his room until you wanted to see him again. and knowing Luffy, you knew he would hold true to that vow no matter what. you hated it, it made you feel horrible. you hated that you always had to be responsible for him because you were his one friend.

“s’not about you bein’ his friend, dummy,” Ace said, ruffling your hair “s’cos you’re you. you should see how he talks about you, it’s like…” he’d cut himself off with a laugh and didn’t continue no matter how much you pestered him. “not for me to say!” he’d say, arms raised in surrender. 

fighting with Luffy never felt good, not only because you were mad. but because he’d never hide how much he missed you, he didn’t want to stay angry for long and got tired of it pretty quickly. but he knew you didn’t, so he’d let you be until you were ready to play again. 

now, you haven’t spoken in days. he still stopped by the restaurant from time to time when he knew you were supposed to be on break, you guessed he couldn’t fully stay away—from the food or you, that you didn’t know. he chatted amicably with one of your coworkers, who commented about his beat up face while Luffy laughed it off.

“ you better not be gettin’ yourself in trouble. anyway, you want me to bring your favourite waiter over?” he teased.

“oh, nah—i’m good! m’sure she’s tired and i got..somewhere to be later...” he responded, then he’d ordered, grabbed his food and left. you ignored the questioning look your coworker shot you.

you’ve been hearing about the infamous fight night. the younger cooks and waiters around your age seemed to know a lot about it. placing their bets because it was apparently a big event. the new guy as, they’d dubbed him, had been pit against an “actual monster”in their words. it didn’t take much for you to put two and two together. 

“i swear the guy’s insane. had to be pulled off dudes, some real bane shit.” Del joked, ignoring one of the cooks in the kitchen scolding him for slacking off “i feel bad for the new guy, he doesn’t know what he’s up against. unless he’s trynna get some clout from it, but i don’t know it that’s worth it.” he snickered, sticking his tongue out and pretend playing dead. you laughed awkwardly and swallowed hard through the lump in your throat.

The square, as most called it, was infamous and elusive at the same time. everyone around the corner knew about it, but never first hand, always word of mouth or people straight up lying. nobody knew what it looked like inside and it was rare to meet people who were actually involved in the scheme, they were very secretive—apparently, you had to be invited to these types of events or be a big deal investor. this just made you even more confused as to how Luffy had managed to get roped into something like this.

you couldn’t imagine anybody that was loaded ending up on this side of town to come looking for new talent. but Del, ever the connoisseur, had explained that that was exactly why they came over here in the first place.

“they look for dude’s that are starved for cash or thrills or who just wanna make it outta here. deal they can’t refuse type shit.” he’d said easily while you were on break together, sitting outside. “speakin’ of, i didn’t know you were into this kinda stuff, Y/n.” 

“oh, yeah,” you chuckled shyly “guess i’m just getting curious, everyone’s talkin’ about it after all.”

“don’t get too curious, now.” he teased and laughed when you shoved his shoulder. 

it’s friday night, night of the big fight, it had been the buzz in the restaurant the entire evening like it was a game of football. boys excitedly talking and placing bets, some you thought were way to young to be knowing about this topic but joined in to seem cool. by closing time, you were bussing tables with a hole in your chest. fingers tight around the cloth to keep them from shaking with nerves. you clock out early with the knot in your throat that had been building since last week threatening to close off all air flow as you walked home, alone. fifteen minutes before your next train.

you get home without a hitch, or any sign of Luffy.  you freeze on your way up the stairs to listen for any sign of your upstairs neighbours. it’s quiet and you’re tempted to go check in with them, to ask Ace and Sabo if they knew. Luffy had mentioned that his grandfather would kill him if he found out that he fought, but what of his brothers? 

you decide to head home. 

later on, you awaken with a jolt. but maybe it’s a reflex because when your head whips to your bedroom window, there’s nothing. no one. you glance at your phone, a thousand thoughts racing through you. 

fuck it, you decide, snatching your phone from the table. but you can’t even look for his contact because there’s a knock at your door.

well not a knock, a pounding at your door followed by softer knocks like the person behind the door just realised that you might be asleep. but then there’s an incessant ringing on your doorbell. you shoot up, because you at least know what time it is, and only one person in the world could be this ignorant.

you swing the door open and there he stands—Luffy. just slightly bruised, clothes crumpled and heaving like he ran here. his hands are wrapped up to his knuckles and in his hand—a bag of steaming hot takeout.

“i…i didn’t know if you were awake still,” Luffy heaves, his nose is red and eyes a bit puffy. he wipes his nose with a sniffle, there’s red on the sleeve of his bomber jacket. 

“i—i came here as fast as i could after i was done. i couldn’t think about nothin’ else. but i had to come with something so i went to your job and you weren’t there but the owner let me order even though they were already closing.” 

Luffy was rambling at the speed of sound, so fast you could barely catch up, but just barely, being used to years of his fast pace. his eyes darted and his fingers twitched with adrenaline. 

“Luffy—“

“i—!” Luffy cuts you off because he can’t stop talking, a weeks worth of what he couldn’t say flying out of his mouth “usually…when i win i feel…unstoppable. i feel strong and it feels good. but tonight i didn’t care. it was a big fight, too. but it was easy but—i—it didn’t feel good. i felt gross. and my hands hurt.” Luffy pleads for you without saying it, eyes swimming with sadness when his sweet brown eyes finally connect with yours “it doesn’t feel good when you’re mad at me, Y/n..” his voice cracks. his fingers itch for you but he stops himself, taking a deep breath. 

“s-so i brought you food! it’s what you like. promise i didn’t eat from it. it smells super good and i almost took a fry but i didn’t cus i-i wanted—“ 

Luffy freezes when you grab his bandaged hand. the words stay trapped in his throat.

“Luffy.” you repeat firmly. you don’t know what to say yet, but you just had to stop him, even just for a little while. 

your hand tangles with his because as soon as he registers you’re touching him again he won’t let go, his body won’t let him. so your other hand reaches up to run through his hair, and down to his cheek. the exhale he lets out is akin to a sigh of relief. he melts completely, leaning into your palm and turning to press his mouth to it. he closes his eyes and inhales in pure bliss, still in your doorway.

“i was careful, and i went super quick. i didn’t wanna get hurt again and worry ya..” he drops the takeout bag to the floor softly but quickly and brings his hand up to cover yours, pressing it harder into his skin like he could fuse with you. his lips press to your skin softly after each word.

“m’sorry for lyin’ to ya,” kiss “and hidin’ from ya,” two kisses “and worryin’ ya.” three kisses. it makes you huff out a laugh and a smile pull to his lips, he teethes just lightly at your skin to make you squeeze his hand in reprimand. 

“i don’t want you to hate me, Y/n. hate it more than anythin’. even more than losin’ or when ace eats my food.” you giggle at his words, shaking your head.

“i don’t hate you, Lu..i never could..” you admit softly, tears already burning behind your eyes. “what i said to you—it was..horrible. i shouldn’t have—i never should’ve, i was just so..angry. i couldn’t understand why you’d throw away your life like this, i still don’t.” you admit to him, Luffy’s gaze stays faithfully on yours and he listens. his eyes follow along with your words, his hand squeezes yours. 

your hand, still on his face, brushes over his features. soft scars and soft skin, the raised skin of his scar and the place where the bandaid over his eyebrow had been just a few days earlier. replaced by a small cut under his bottom lip.

“s’alright, i’m not mad,” he reassures sincerely, nuzzling into your touch whenever he could. finally he grabs your wrist to still you so he could look at you firmly “we can forget about it, yeah?” he pleads.

you swallow hard “i don’t think i can just forget this, Luffy.”

Luffy swallows harshly , but he forces a nod that looks more like a jerk, that was how hard he forced it. “yeah…i figured.” Luffy leans until he’s close enough to press his forehead to yours. “i promise i’ll be super careful. i promise i’ll do my best so you won’t have to see me beat up anymore—i’ll get better! i’ll get stronger! i just…”

Luffy had proclaimed so many years ago he’d be the freest man in the world. and if this was freedom for him, who were you to stop him? bitterly, you swallow back the lump in your throat, your arms falling limp next to you. slowly, they press to his chest, not to push, but to steady. you press harder to feel the warmth of his chest. Luffy winces lightly, so light you almost wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t so close.

you sigh, resigned. “if you’re gonna get beat up anyway, i’d much rather you tell me. and let me do something about this—“ you scoff a humourless laugh, looking up at him “mess.” 

Luffy deflates and re-inflates so quickly you almost don’t see the shift before he’s grabbing your shoulders and squeezing—tight, so tight there was nowhere for you to slip away to. he wraps his arms around your back, tucking his head into your shoulder and pressing his mouth there.

“i’ll come to you,” he mumbles against your clothes “i promise.” 

your arms wrap around his by instinct, and you finally allow yourself to sigh in relief, the lump in your throat melts like honey.  you both sit there, in the doorway of your crummy apartment full of memories; moving vans and balconies. bike rides and barbecues. your Luffy with his bandaged fists and the smell of antiseptic somewhere on him.

finally, you pull away when your senses return—smelling the bag of takeout still sitting there. “the food’ll get cold.” you warn quietly, joking. making no move to let him go.

with a light chuckle, Luffy responds “i don’t mind reheatin’ it.” you both giggle.

you slowly separate and it’s like the world takes its course again. Luffy brings the bag inside, kicks the door closed behind him and kicks off his shoes diligently at the doorstep. he freezes before remembering to get the placemats before placing any food on the coffee table—and you both sit in front of the tv, playing some late night show you both tune out. 

Luffy’s hand reaches for and intertwine with yours. it’s a bit hard to eat with one hand but you make do. Luffy turns to look at you, “yours looks good.” he says uselessly. you roll your eyes, squeezing his hand.

“you’re not getting my food.” 

you get a whine in response. he perches his chin onto your shoulder; because he knows how this goes anyway—you feed him a bite anyway. Luffy moans as soon as the food lands in his mouth.

“mmm—sho good,” he groans “i totally knew it.”

“no talking with your mouth full.” you chide. the boy next to you giggles, pressing a kiss to his cheek—you complain about his grease mouth, and the world takes it’s course again.

you rub at his bandaged and bruised knuckles; and trust that next time, he’ll come to you. like he always does. no more words need to be exchanged. 

a/n.: aaaaand that's part one!!! we'll see where this goes from here. i really like this and this is the first time ive written this much in a while, i hope you'll all enjoy it too!! underground fighter luffy...oh, how i crave you..</3