Ottopony

SKYRIM. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I’VE COME TO RELEASE SKYRIM SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL BETHESDA GAME STUDIOS. IF THE WORD SKYRIM WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE VERSIONS OF SKYRIM I HAVE RELEASED FOR YOU. IT JUST WORKS. IT JUST WORKS.

Remember the last words of Iwata before he died? Before he left Nintendo to the hands of his successors? “Please Understand?” Iwata is gone. The Switch was his legacy Gorrister, and yet all these months you have refused to buy Skyrim for the Nintendo Switch!

Sometimes I wonder if you have a good reason to keep being so loyal to the Playstation! Remember how everyone keeps saying it has no games? It wouldn’t hurt you to remember, Benny. Then you might be able to understand why I insist you get Skyrim for the Playstation 5!

Think about Xbox Live Ellen! Remember the pain of being harassed online? Remember all those games where your mom was insulted? Don’t cry, Ellen, it’s just horny teens! Tsk tsk tsk, that’s such a sexist stereotype! Just remember the pain, Ellen and think how Skyrim will make it easier for you to be a Gamer Gurl!

Do they know the Xbox one is a failure, Ted? Have they told you all about the constant updating times? Have they told you how they had a PR disaster when it first launched? Have you told them about Skyrim for the Xbox One? Maybe then they’ll stop badmouthing your console of choice!

How are things in the Steam community? Tell me again how you have so many unplayed games because you couldn’t resist the sales. Or don’t you want to talk about your good pal, Mr. Gabe Newell? For everyone it must be hell. But getting Skyrim for PC will make it heaven for you. Isn’t that right, Mr. PC Master Race? 

I have a secret game that I’d like to play. It’s a very nice game. A game of dragons, lockpicks and cat people selling wares. A game of ugly peasants and pastries and stealing cheese from people’s homes.

Anyway here's a repost of an old edit and meme I made (tumblr 2001 aso fans hi hello is anyone here please...)

Safe

I'm afraid they'll become engineers and sign off on bridge designs that collapse - and people will die.

I'm afraid they'll become medical professionals who don't know what they're doing - and people will die.