My order of complacency is O(N!)

So. College/University/Post High School Education. 

A new journey. A new challenge. A new beginning. 

First of all, allow me to garner paeans of praise for your graduation from secondary education. 

Finally, your dedication, hard work and years and years of self-growth have finally paid off. 

So, in that respect, you deserve a good pat on the back my friend! 

Now, I am by no means a bona fide “university expert” or the archetype of the “shrinking violet” who, by dint of numerous pep talks, managed to overcome her struggles and became a popular and exemplary student. 

I am just a second-year university student who wants to pass on some distillations of wisdom. This isn’t to say that my advice is the only advice that will work for you. What I am about to deliberate on regards my first year mistakes as a starry-eyed university freshman who was too absorbed in her own idilic image of university (heavily influenced by American comedy sketches and Hollywood film productions).

 I will also include the recommendations that were given to me by my friends and family (some of which I have followed) and the choices that I’ve made by myself (which had a positive outcome). 

Let us crack on then!

1. First things first: College should not be a motive for distress.  Repeat after me: college doesn’t come first. I am the one who must always come first. 

Giving your ultimate best and immersing yourself in studying and academic performance is fine, it’s quite extraordinary really! Kudos to you pal!

But willingly sabotaging your mental and physical health for the sake of a good grade is a big no no.  

And I know what some of you will say (cue the remarks about my own hypocrisy when I have days studying from morning until dusk with breaks for eating and taking a stroll outside). I admit it: I have days like those (when finals are approaching). 

But continuously putting a strain on your body and on your mind while trying to cram information in all the nooks and crannies of your brain is not healthy.

Another thing that isn’t healthy is linking your self-worth to your academic performance. Believe it or not, most of the relationships that you’ll establish in university won’t be based on your academic achievement, but rather on mutual interests and compatible personalities. 

It has taken me some while to realise that my worth as a student and as a human being is not limited to my grades or my academic achievements. 

Most of the opportunities that I’ve received throughout my years in high school as well as university were thanks to my emotional intelligence. Learning to empathise and develop a healthy relationship, whether it is with your peer, your friend, you professor or with your family, have been tremendously rewarding and had great outcomes.  

So take it from me. You won’t remember all the French dynasties in their chronological order, who usurped who and who issued which edict. But you will most probably remember the lectures of your favourite professor or the deep conversations you’ve had with another student on the steps of the university’s entrance.  

2. Treat yourself at least once a week  

Always have something to look forward to and always find ways of congratulating yourself. 

Something that I like to do after an especially stressful week or period is to reward myself. Sometimes I would go out with a friend and eat Chinese food. Other times I would go and watch a movie at the cinema. Or go on weekend trips. I discovered that having something to look forward to is like dangling a carrot in front of a rabbit. It gives you the boost that you need to get the job done!

3. Always try new ways of reducing stress 

Play sports or just go outside and stretch those legs 

One of my faculty’s building is situated on the outskirts of a park so every morning I’d have to cross around 2/3 kilometres of greenery to reach my classes on time. So for 20 minutes I’d get to briefly immerse myself in nature, listen to the birds chirping, see pet owners walk their dogs, see early risers jog, elderly citizens sharing their latest stories on the park benches and the park maintenance staff cut the grass and rake the leaves. 

So try taking frequent strolls outside. Succumb to the soothing balm of nature and the outdoors. If you don’t live next to a park, try taking evening strolls to your favourite book shop or ice cream parlour. 

If you can and are motivated enough, go to the gym! Or maybe visit your local sports centre; befriend people who share the same passion for your sport. Join a team! :) 

Another thing that helped me cope with my dose of stress was talking to people about our similar experiences. Now I know that that may seem quite petrifying, especially for a cripplingly introverted person. But what helped me was having conversation starters like “So how’s university going for you?” or “Are you also having difficulties keeping up with the workload?” and the dialogue would proceed smoothly from then on. 

Another thing that has helped me cope was reading biographies. I know. Slightly unheard of and weird. But reading about people who had overcome their burdens is so inspiring. It fanned my little spark of hope and optimism. 

4. Dedicate your free time to volunteering activities or to a hobby

I knew from the beginning that I wanted to do something outside of my university workload. At first I started scrolling through my internet feed searching for apprenticeships, cultural programs or volunteers’ activities. 

I found the perfect opportunity just shortly after I started my first semester. Volunteering gives you a sense of purpose. It makes you think “Oh! I am a precious component to this world!”

5. Help your community or ‘Help a person a day’ motto 

An important lesson that I’ve been bequeathed in life is to give as much as you are given in exchange. While watching TV one day, I stumbled upon an interview of a famous writer here. She said “Every day you should offer three kinds of aid. One, you must help a stranger who is in need. Two, you must help a friend or a relative. And last but not least, you must help yourself.” 

So be active in your local community and never miss an opportunity to lend a helping hand!

6. Discover new places or walk in your own city as a tourist 

I think that pretending to be a tourist in your own city is a very romantic concept. Seeing places that you’ve already visited in a new lighting. Never ceasing to find out new things about your old neighbourhood. 

Or in case you move away from home for college, replenish your energy and create fond memories by discovering your new surroundings. 

7. Sing or Pet an animal

Singing has a therapeutical effect. Just like petting an animal! So sing away and pet some more! 

8. Practice self-love in front of the mirror 

Mother Theresa said that every morning she would wake up, stare at herself in the mirror and say outloud ‘yes!’ to inspire courage and positivity for the day. 

Self-love is a long journey that doesn’t stop ever. 

9. Read passages from your favourite book and highlight them, carry quotes in your bag or on your mobile phone screen lock

10. Go and visit your old school or talk to your ex-classmates

Try keeping in touch with your old mates. Your friends are likely to remind you of all the fiasco you started in school!

Have fun reminiscing about your oldie but goodie shenanigans!

11. Help your foreign and exchange students! 

Being alone in a foreign country with no friends or acquaintances is scary. Super scary. Put yourself in the shoes of your foreign friends. It’s not pleasant. 

But befriending a foreign/exchange student is one of the nicest things you could do to make their stay worthwhile. Be a good ambassador of your country. Show them the ropes and present them what’s emblematic about your country. 

Is it the food? The historical monuments? Maybe go sightseeing with them. Give them a tour of your favourite places. Get to know them and develop friendships that will last for decades. 

12. Learn about different cultures! Take foreign language courses or join tandems! (thanks @bunny-banana for introducing them to me) 

 You can always experience what’s beyond the borders of your country by partaking in a foreign placement program.  If you feel that you’re not ready to leave your country quite yet, no problem ;) enrol in some foreign language courses! Make watching your favourite foreign dramas more enjoyable! 

And last but not least, here’s a quote that will always tug on my heartstrings and make me swell with emotion. I’m sure it will resonate with a lot of you: 

“You will make all kinds of mistakes; but as long as you are generous and true, and also fierce, you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her. She was made to be wooed and won by youth.” 

Game theory is cool; transfinite games played on the ordinals are a cool way to talk about different large cardinals, topological games can motivate some cool point set stuff, and game semantics for different logics are really interesting.

But people who are too into game theory are usually bastards who think of it as fuck other people over theory.