i feel the cosmos

i know karkat's survival in the brooding caverns as a grub was like predestined via temporal paradox so that he'd go on to play sgrub, create himself and his friends, perpetuate the time loop, etc. but other than that i know he was born to be a day-of wedding coordinator

My gf loves playing with my dick in bed because it's "like a little fidget toy"

Normal sized fidget toy

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.