Nakita

But not really beautiful at all

I feel like a monster within

A pretty smile and bright eyes paints my exterior

Inside there’s a reckoning that demands i question what is reality and what is reasonable

A beckoning for my soul to follow the fire that ignites it

But the voices remain to remind me what is sane and safe

At one time it was true, kind, and loving

Where did it go? Where did you go?

I’m here. I’ve always been here. Hanging in and hanging on even when the emotional deprivation is unbearable.

I have so much to give, and to accept too. I long to love, but you won’t let me.

I’m too much, always too much.

Big feelings with my heart on my sleeve. I want to cover it up, and hide it away. So no one can hurt it anymore.

It’s too tender. It’s starting to feel bruised and sore. I need to protect it, i must. No one else will.

But, one question resides above all the din,

i wake up