n a l l i u

Eat only the middle of a donut

you dont even need to cut the tops off strawberries you can just eat the whole thing theyre like kiwis you can just eat all of it

I’m sorry, but the confusion of why your bathroom doesn’t have a door far outweighs any feelings of horror this might evoke.

can’t afford door.. the horror here is the realities of life

So what fuck was your wife knocking on

this dick

It’s not even 4 words???

ur mom hands u a glass of orange juice. u take a sip. its not orange juice. its stirred egg yolks. u spit them all out. u ask ur mom why. she turns around. its not ur mom. its me. ur mom is gone. im ur mother now

these old spice commercials have been getting really crazy lately 

hey anyone want some upsmexy ? x3

lol xD whats upsmexy????? :3c

nothing much :3 how abt u ?? x3 xDDD

xDDD x3 OMG u got me xDD :3

Tape where neither side is sticky