꒰ঌ ໒꒱

i also have a guy friend that posts waist pics sometimes and UGHHHHHH he's also so body goals and he jokes abt being called anorexic when "he isn't" but he literally posts abt not having dinner and his mom telling him how he needs to eat more and saying that he just doesn't feel like eating like...... his insta stories are like a more casual edblr to me y'all would live him

hanging out w this friend group of mine makes me feel like such a fat fucking chud all the time bro they're all skinnier than me and one of them literally has my dream body she's all I want to be and I'm just trying not to stare the whole time seething with jealousy

I ate less than everyone when we went out and technically also got healthier food bc the vegan alternatives they had were lower in calories, we took a couple pictures after and I just looked like a big fat monster next to them bc I'm taller and my hair is curly big and poofy as fuck. they all have long straight hair and are roughly the same height and size so I just stick out like a sore thumb I'm fucking tired

we walked all the way to the beach (which is quite far away from the friend's house we were staying at, which ALSO doesn't have an elevator so we had to take the stairs there) and back and the path had like a fuckton of stairs and I just hated seeing how I struggled the most out of everyone. I was joking my way through it but lowk the jokes abt kms weren't that satirical. at the end of the day I had like 15k steps which isn't bad for me but I still felt like I accomplished nothing

we were talking abt hookups and all which is always something that I dread bc it always reverts back to this doesn't it!!! abt how one of them is about to get a boyfriend (after saying so many times she thinks nobody finds her attractive of even likes her which makes no sense), the other one (which COINCIDENTALLY is the skinniest and prettiest one that I'm crazy jealous of) almost had a boyfriend but literally gets hit on like twice a month at least and has like at least 2 ppl always simultaneously crushing on her (guys at school sometimes get her attention by saying Hey You The Pretty One, or I've even heard The Skinny One once or twice), and the other one just isn't interested but people HAVE been in love w her. so I'm left being the one nobody wants. and I'm also pretty sure I'm everyone's last choice in the group but that's been obvious. I would know seeing how I'm always walking behind but at least they put up with me so I'm still their friend

starving myself doesn't work. I see no change w a healthier diet. eating less just made me get used to it while not losing any weight. exercising is useless bc I either give up bc of my deep hatred of feeling sweat or how I feel so out of shape, or I see no results w any workout I try (saying this while being on and off w workouts since like 7th grade or something I've tried everything). also I get embarrassed working out secretly in my room and I get so hungry I just eat a bunch after