Pam

expectations vs. reality +bonus

Okay, I know I just talked about how the mystery was the worst part of the movie but I’m back with something else.

It was bold of JK Rowling to think she could introduce five more major characters and develop them properly in a two hour movie. Equally bold of her to kill the most interesting and developed of those characters (RIP Leta. You were one of the only good things in this movie).

What’s funny is I honestly feel like there was a movie missing here. A movie that, if made, could have smoothed over the plot and tonal dissonance and made people care way more at the gut punch of a climax. A movie that fleshed out Newt’s tense relationship with his brother and the love triangle with Leta? A movie that focused more on fun beasts while smoothly developing character relationships? And making me care?

Let’s experiment, shall we? Let’s call this: the missing movie.

In the missing movie: Newt finds out Credence is still alive when Tina enlists him to help. At the same time, the ministry is trying to catch him or kill him. Newt finds himself on the opposite side of a conflict with his brother and Leta, who he loved and maybe still loves. Maybe this hunt takes them to a circus where animals abused and the goal is to both save the animals and Credence, while also finally saying things left unsaid. (Between brothers, between lovers, etc)

We have flashbacks. Maybe get a little intro of Dumbledore but not have him involved in the plot (we’ll save him for movie three). We can show how Leta met Theseus and decided to marry him. Maybe emphasize the difference between the brothers. At the same time, since Tina is in this movie, we can emphasize the difference between her and Leta. We can ALSO see Credence meeting Nangini and develop their friendship and actually give her something to do. Maybe she saves him! Maybe it’s all super touching. Maybe she’s given one single personality trait outside of her name!

Queenie and Jacob can stay out of the movie and come back in in movie three to up the stakes. We won’t forget that they’re there, and there’s no point in having them in the movie to not do anything. Tina can give a throw away line that they’re trying to figure out how to get married. In movie three, since they won’t be competeing with the intro of other characters, there will be more time for their relationship and perhaps more time to flesh out why Queenie decided to join wizard Hitler!

In the missing movie, we’d even have room for some of that Lestrange family backstory. Maybe on the search for Credence they encounter her half brother, trying to kill him, and make him the main antagonist of the film. Keep Grindelwald in the shadows for a little longer. Credence learns that Leta’s half brother thinks that he’s a Lestrange. It turns out he’s not (Leta reveals that she switched the baskets), but this conflict prompts Credence to wonder who IS he. You know, as opposed to just copying and pasting that motivation onto him Maybe a follower of Grindelwald offers a little hint at the end of who he really is but it’s saved for the next movie where it can be properly developed and not totally stupid.

The point is, you take time to develop your new characters (Theseus, Leta and Nagini) and get us to care for them. You make us care about the love triangle. You develop the differences between the brothers. You explore Leta’s self hatred and where it comes from. You can add new and interesting creatures and have them play a larger role in the story.

Then by the end of the movie, there’s been some sort of revelation. A nice wrap up where Newt saves some more beasts and people. And then–Grindelwald breaks out. Now we’ve got a set up for a third act with established characters we all know. Meaning their interactions can be natural and not vehicles for exposistion.

The third movie could actually focus on Grindelwald as opposed to one million other things. It could go into Dumbledore and his relationship more. Like, the Harry potter books let voldemort not be there in book 3 to develop the themes and characters. It would have been possible.

And the emotional gut punch at the end of this movie could have been way more satisfying. Can you imagine the death of Leta if we knew her for a whole other movie and saw her chemistry with both Theseus and Newt? Can you imagine the feeling of betrayal when Credence finally breaks and joins Grindelwald (leaving Nangini behind?). And can you imagine if they gave Queenie more build up to joining wizard hitler?

I just…if Fantastic Beasts as a series is supposed to be a five act story…JK skipped over act two completely and went to act three. And no, my solution isn’t solid or perfect. I came up with it in five minutes. But given some time I KNOW there was an easy way to fix this

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

Me: