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Heard some important information on Twitter today, and thought I’d post it here for anyone who may not have heard it. This is actually a thing, devised by human rights organisation called Karma Nirvana.

An emoji spell for creativity and that spark of passion in your heart to light.

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Abusers claiming their victims are mentally ill or schizophrenic, to explain why they might not want to come back

Abusers giving any excuse to explain why their victims may not come back really

Abusers telling you not to approach their victims if you see them, or limit your communication with them

Abusers telling you not to mention them to their victims at all

Abusers claiming that their victims aren’t safe with their family or friends

Abusers claiming their victims are being threatened away from them

Abusers claiming their victim has a history of self-harm that leaves bruises is always a red flag (except in the case of autistic children, but even then, call 911, not the abuser)

Abusers claiming their (POC) victim doesn’t understand English and so you shouldn’t try to communicate with them/trust anything they say is not uncommon for human traffickers

Abusers claiming their victim has a history of making things up for attention or to get their way, tacitly implying you shouldn’t listen to them when they express fear or disclose their abusive situation to you

Posters lacking a last name are inherently not to be trusted. The lack of a surname is there to keep you from looking the person up in other databases and finding out they’ve been listed as missing by their family/the police.

Posters that put any character smears - mental illness, drug use, etc. - out about the victim are trying to make you predisposed to not communicating with or trusting the victim so you won’t believe anything they say. Treat this as a flashing neon red flag and call the police.

If you work in the education system, or some other system that deals with information, be very aware of who you give information to. Are you on the phone? Don’t give out any information unless you can prove with 100% certainty that this person is who they say they are. Even if they are the parent, make sure they’re also the legal guardian. Even if they have a sad story about how they’re never allowed to see the kids through no fault of their own, even if it’s true, don’t give out information. Those rules are there for a reason and that reason is to protect kids from their abusers. This seems ridiculous and tedious and bureaucratic and in most cases it is, but for the sake of that 1 in 10.000th case that it’s true, please be careful.

Red flags:

- Parents who don’t know their child’s address or phone number

- Parents who make degrading remarks about their child’s primary care giver

- Parents who make degrading remarks about their child

- Parents who are looking for more than one of their kids

- Parents who are demanding access to their kid’s email account

- The child is in foster care or lives in a halfway house or similar institution

- The parent paints themselves as a victim.

Yes, not all foster care placement is handled correctly and sometimes mistakes are made, but that decision is not up to you. You don’t know all the facts. Many abusers, parents or otherwise, are clever, charismatic, manipulative assholes that get off on power trips but can come off as completely normal and trustworthy. Far more so than their victims.

He told Rachel that he read the letter she wrote him so that they would get back together.

He got jealous that Rachel was living with Joey while she was pregnant with Emma.

Speaking of Emma he kept telling Rachel at the beginning of her pregnancy that there was no possible way she could do this alone and that they should get married cause it was the right thing to do

The amount of times he has made small comments about the influence Carol and Susan have on Ben.

He dated one of his students and didn’t seem to understand why her father was uncomfortable with their relationship. 

He is constantly correcting people and treating others like they aren’t as intelligent as he is because he has a Ph.D. And he thinks since he is “sensitive” and “nice” that women should want to be with him.

#1: Ross never saw Rachel as a friend. He ONLY saw her as a romantic prospect and never got over his crush on her. He’s had a crush on her since high school so in his mind he “claimed” her first and long after they broke up he resented and deliberately tried sabotaging every male relationship in her life.

#2 Ross literally could not accept that Mark (or any man) could be friends with Rachel because HE couldn’t be “just friends” with Rachel. Throughout the series it’s often Joey that tells Ross that he doesn’t OWN Rachel while Chandler and Monica (OH DON’T LET ME GO OFF ABOUT MONICA) enable him.

#3 “WE WERE ON A BREAK” is NEVER an excuse.

#4 I am STILL pissed that Rachel got off that damn plane! Ross sabotaged her career at EVERY. SINGLE. TURN. He was “tired of having a relationship with her answering machine”. He was constantly jealous of all her male colleagues. He WALTZ INTO HER WORKPLACE TO ARGUE ABOTU THEIR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS!

#5 AND HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO FALL ASLEEP at a work event that he DEMANDED she take him to.

#6 I DARE YOU to name ONE THING that Ross EVER did to unselfishly help Rachel’s career.

#7 LITERALLY EVERYONE WANTED Rachel to get on that plane. There was nothing left for her professionally in New York. The Paris job was her DREAM. But GUESS WHO DIDN’T. FUCKING ROSS BECAUSE IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE ABOUT HIM AND WHAT HE WANTS.

#8 I HATED (HATED) the running gag that Ross’s first wife being gay was the reason they divorced. MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WERE A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING.

#9 Ross’s need to win EVERY SINGLE TIME

#10 Ross ALWAYS treats everyone (ESPECIALLY RACHEL) like they’re intellectually beneath him.

In addition to all of this:

HE SAID THE WRONG NAME AT HIS OWN WEDDING TO EMILY

He doesn’t annul his and Rachel’s wedding AND LIES ABOUT IT

he made a move on his COUSIN, and RATIONALIZED THAT IT WAS FINE BASED ON HER ACTIONS

He didn’t read the letter

AGAIN “WE WERE ON A BREAK” (if Ross thought he and Rachel were on a break and he did nothing wrong, why did he hide the girl from the copy place behind the door?)

He KEPT TRACK of how many times he and Rachel had sex

He is whiney weak bitch

He CONSTANTLY belittles the accomplishments of others

He has anger management issues

He suffers from the Nice Guy Syndrome (NGS); fun fact, Friends coined the term the friendzone, this is no coincidence

The whole turkey sandwich thing

He’s a shitty parent

An even shittier sibling

Sexist

Homophobic

Has never been in a relationship where he HASN’T cheated

When he got caught getting high in highschool, he throws his oldest friend under the bus

Unagi 

He dates a student (A STUDENT)

He’s never been in a relationship where he hasn’t lied

The “We Hate Rachel Club” and the rumor that he and Will started in high school

“I could go on about how Rachel SHOULD have ended up with Joey, but that’s a whole other Ted Talk.”

When Rachel and Ross first got together in season 2, there was a scene where they were going to have sex for the first time. They were making out and Ross squeezed her ass and Rachel kinda started giggling a bit because she was really nervous about moving their relationship from friends to lovers. She tells him that it’s a really big deal to her and he says “I knew it was big, just not HA-HA big”. He’s completely missing the point that she’s massively uncomfortable and he just thinks shes laughing at him. She tried to shake it off and continue, but she felt really uncomfortable and embarrassed about it and couldn’t stop giggling. She apologizes over and over again and tells him she’s going to try not to laugh anymore and then tries to initiate another kiss. Ross tells her he refuses to touch her anymore because he’s too self conscious now and the moment is gone, making her feel like shit for being nervous.

THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENS WHEN RACHEL STARTS DATING JOEY!

Rachel and Joey are kissing on his couch and Joey starts moving his hand up her leg. She breaks the kiss and literally slaps his hand and immediately apologizes for the knee-jerk reaction. Joey just shrugs and they start kissing again. He tries touching her leg again and she slaps him a second time. She apologizes and he just makes a joke: “I don’t get it, Chandler loved it”. So they try kissing for a third time and he tries the leg trick again and this time, Rachel slaps his hand AND both sides of his face. Joey AGAIN just makes another joke: “Uh… Was that good for you?”

He, unlike Fucktard McGee, actually senses that maybe Rachel isn’t ready to sleep with him just yet, so he tries to comfort her by asking if she’s sure she wants to do this with him. She replies that she IS sure, it’s just going to take some getting used to switching from friends to lovers. THEN HE ACTUALLY TRIES TO OFFER SOLUTIONS and he asks her what they can do to make it easier for her. She suggests maybe not touching her legs right off the bat and he complies without complaint. They still can’t seem to get in the same groove with each other despite trying a few more times, so they mutually agree that maybe its not the best to be together. She leans on his shoulder and he kisses her head and he says that he loves her no matter what.

#5 AND HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO FALL ASLEEP at a work event that he DEMANDED she take him to.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.