Mike Driver
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@myvoyagerisparked
HEY GUYS MY OLD ACCOUNT IS BACK SO ILL BE OVER THERE!!
Tumblr restored my old blog, @myenterpriseisparked and its associated accounts so I'll be moving back there! This account has a queue that I will leave running until it runs out. I will also leave this account up in case any more account deletion hijinks occur.
Thanks to everyone who followed me here! I appreciate all the support!
-Tardi
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Shakespeare boys are back in town.
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Aaahhhh Iām in love with my new JC commission by Gabi on Twitter!! Theyāre PERFECT!!
This is gorgeous!
best note from 4x15 "Hunters" (beating out such gems as "Gay Uncles Alert" and "HirNOgen") is the only slightly incorrect quote:
Janeway: On my mark!
Chakotay: No, he's someone else's now
I love Star Trek Voyager from start to end and if you want to sue me for that it's fine I'll just lose all my money.
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It would have been cool if there had been more examples of Paris throwing in references to the 20th century but just getting it slightly wrong. "Yeah, this tiny radiation chamber reminds me of a cooking device used in the 20th century, it was named after its inventor Michael Wave."
"Yeah, this reminds me of a 20th century TV program style called 'Soap Operas.' I've watched a few. My favorite was called 'Friends.'"
How the conversation went:
How it should have ended:
Chakotay: The captain and I are having a baby.
Harry: What? That's wonderful! Congratulations!
Janeway: *slams adoption papers on the table* It's you. Sign here.
Have you ever noticed, when you can't hold the one thing in the universe that you want most, even though you are so close, how important it is for your hands to be holding on to something? Railings, consoles, desks...
Chakotay: wait...you did WHAT?!
(og scene from Lilo and Stitch)
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Janeway : You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Chakotay: I want you to eat three meals a day, and have a healthy sleep pattern
Janeway: Absolutely not
Chakotay, when he gets to be Captain.Ā
Okay so I know we roast Chakotay for all of hisĀ āancient legends,ā but Iām actually kind of obsessed with the idea of Chakotay justā¦. bullshitting fake legends to try to get people to listen to him a la the confession scene in Resolutions????? Like?????
āā
Tuvok: Iām going to mind meld with this murderer we discovered on board.
Chakotay: You shouldnāt do that.
Tuvok: Iām going to do it anyway.
Chakotay: Thereās an ancient legend among my people about a man who once tried to mind meld with a bear, thinking he could tame the bear into doing his will. Instead, the bearās consciousness took over his own and the man became wild and murderous, tearing apart the rest of his tribe.
Tuvok:ā¦.. your people cannot mind meld.
āā
Chakotay: Hey Kathryn, maybe you shouldnāt try to sacrifice yourself for the crew again.
Kathryn: But I have to because of guilt reasons.
Chakotay: Thereās an ancient legend among my people about a warrior woman who fought off a bear to save her war party from getting eaten. She killed the bear, but her injuries were so grave that she died shortly after the bear did. She left behind a lover who missed her so much that he cried for 40 days and their ship - I mean, camp, flooded and the rest of the war party never made it home.
Kathryn: ā¦.. youāre full of shit, Chakotay, but itās working. Find me a new plan.
āā
BāElanna: *hits the computer because itās not working*
Chakotay: Thereās an ancient legend among my people about a warrior who once hit a computer core and-
BāElanna: *hits Chakotay*
I mean. Are we sure this isnāt exactly whatās going on about 50% of the time?
Doctor: Iām sick of the way everyone treats me because Iām a hologram!
Chakotay: thereās an ancient legend among my people about a hologram whoā¦
Doctor: *deactivates*
I love how Chakotay is getting steadily worse at even fitting things into a proper āancient legendā narrative (or maybe heās just stopped caring?) . Anyway, now I feel the need to contribute:
Seven: Lt. Torres is impossible to work with.
Chakotay: Thereās an ancient legend among my people about a former Borg drone and a half-Klingon half-human engineer who-
Seven: Computer, beam me anywhere but here.
At some point Chakotay becomes aware of the fact that no one believes his ancient legends anymore but he continues to tell them because he thinks its funny and it makes Kathryn smile. The only one who doesnāt realize that Chakotay is spouting absolute malarkey is Neelix, who fervently listens to every ancient legend and writes them down for later because he thinks itās actually from Chakotayās culture and wants to incorporate them into his moral officer work.Ā
Eventually, Janeway finds Neelixās records and, after she has recovered from laughing at all the stupid stuff her first officer has come up with, she has them all printed in a leather-bound book for Chakotayās birthday as a gag. The crew members find out about the book and keep stealing it to read from at different holidays and celebrations just for the fun of it. Chakotay is completely unembarrassed. Neelix still has no idea the legends are fake.
Yo- this version of Chakotay is life, hahaha.
At some point Chakotay even uses the crewās annoyance at his ancient legends to his advantage:
BāElanna: Hey, Chakotay, werenāt you supposed to reassign duty shifts in engineering?
Chakotay: (completely forgot/didnāt want to) Thereās an ancient legend from my people about reassigning members of the tribe to-
BāElanna: UGH. Never mind.
Chakotay: (smirks)
I kind of want this to come back around in vengeance - now that thereās a recorded copy, crew members can start using these to their advantage:
Chakotay: My apologies for being late.
BāElanna: Hm, did you forget the ancient legend about always asking the computer to set an alarm fifteen minutes early?
Chakotay: What?
Harry: Iām sure you remember. Itās the one you told me two months ago when I asked you to delay a morning meeting because I hadnāt had breakfast yet and Neelix set the mess hall on fire right before the start of shift.
Yes yes yes! I love this!
Chakotay: Damn, I really need another round of coffee.
Kathryn: According to the ancient legends of your people, no you donāt.
Chakotay: What?
Kathryn, literally pulling the leather bound book out from behind her and flipping open to a certain page: Yes, itās under Ancient Legend number 238: the one about people in command needing sleep instead of coffee since coffee is aĀ āfickle mistressā andĀ ālies about being a replacement for sleep.ā
Chakotay: I have some regrets.
(no he doesnt.)
He really should have known better than to try to get between Kathryn and her coffee. š When they get back to the Alpha Quadrant, I want this to become one of the inside jokes that binds the crew together.
Tom: What?! Youāre not planning on coming to the yearly reunion? You know that violates Ancient Legend Number 247, right?
Harry: The one where only people who have never been involved in a shuttle crash are allowed to mock a tribeās second in command who can have you demoted down to microgausing the transporter pad?
Tom: No, thatās Number 277. 247 is where the whole tribe has to attend Voyager parties after that one time Neelixās feelings were hurt when there werenāt enough of us to pretend to like the liquid leola root fondue without actually having to eat too much of it.
I like how this last one implies that Tom and Harry have the Book of Legends completely memorized (they do)
Tuvok commission for @bumblingbabooshka ! Based on their interpretation of tuvokās babey š„°
You think Janeway ever threatened to turn Voyager around because two crew members were arguing?
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Parks and Voyager: 9 / ?
Itās very possible that no one else will find this funny but I watched this episode recently and this is all I could think about.Ā
Star Trek Voyager: 5x20, Think TankĀ |Ā Harry Potter and the Philosopherās Stone
Screencaps from: (x) (y)
