Diary of a Twenty Something!

I'm so bored of writing posts about how my brain makes me feel like shit. This really is getting old now.................. Where on earth is my silver lining and how do I pick myself up from this deep funk? I know it is in my control, and these are just feelings, chemical reactions in the brain that are essentially subjective to each individual person.. maybe I'm just choosing to interpret my body in the wrong way. Regardless of the theory..........I am so bored of it all, but I feel powerless to stop myself from feeling powerless. (Oh the irony!) Me! Xxxx

I had a super productive psychology appointment yesterday and learned a vital lesson about myself..............the lesson being that I never allow myself to celebrate my own achievements. Instead only focusing on the things I have done wrong or how i can improve next time round. She told me that I have made progress in our sessions and in life, the situations that did scare the crap out of me, like my London trip.....i did manage to do without anything untoward happening. However, my reaction to these things is always "Well I feel anxious, or I don't feel quite as calm as I would like to etc" rather than focusing on the fact I did the activity and I came through it fine. I really should learn to cut myself some slack! Although I have recognised the error in my ways I know it is going to be almost impossible to put into practice. Either way I do feel like I've made a step in the right direction towards recovery from all of this. 🙂 Me! Xxxx

The rain battering down on the window ledges outside greatly reflects the mood I am currently in. Miserable

Donald Trump winning the presidency is really not good for my anxiety issues! I am genuinely losing my faith in humanity, we are living in a truly scary world right now. It seems to be the 'in' thing to hate Thy neighbour.. ............. It's just so so sad 😭

I am laid in bed, my feet neatly tucked in amongst the duvet, my head resting amongst three soft feathery pillows, and it is so warm and toasty here. Why oh why do I have to get up to do my day, I just want to lay here on this cosy warm heaven forever. I really need to stop pressing snooze and get up............................. What a shame.

I feel like the world is impounding on me and I have no control over it. It's all so out of control, people are relying on me even when it's not my responsibility to sort their lives out. I just want to be in control of my own life! Xxxx

I am currently laid in bed in a hotel room in Leeds, hungover to hell after partying very hard last night! My heart is pounding insane amounts and the room is spinning! But I did enjoy the antics I got up to! Yes I am heading for the big 3-0 birthday, but I am still capable of partying like an 18yr old!! Ill go now..........hopefully the waltzer will stop spinning my head round soon! Me! Xxxx