The Unconventional

I never thought I’d make it to 25 and today is my 27th Birthday! For the longest time, I always thought that I would kill myself before I ever reached this point, and yet, today I am turning another year older… Today is my birthday, and today I have reached 2 years past the year I thought I would make it to, and I am forever grateful for that. I never believed that I would reach where I am, and yet, I have finally graduated from a fantastic four-year university, have a job, and am in a loving, supportive relationship. Granted, I didn’t complete these things in a normal timely manner, but when you have Bipolar, what is normal? Besides, who cares if everything happens according to a specific time frame, because life is different for every person and is nothing if not unpredictable. I haven’t had the easiest road to where I am currently at, but I feel that I am resilient none the less. It takes trials, and hardships to make it anywhere, and when you have Bipolar, I feel that is even more true than before. Nothing is normal, nothing is easy, and it takes having understanding people in your life, and to be understanding with yourself to make it anywhere. I had many setbacks with school, but as of this year, I can finally say that I accomplished a goal that I set in place for myself many years ago, one that I never thought I would accomplish. To be honest, I never thought I’d even see the day that I was supposed to graduate, let alone the day that I received my diploma in the mail. However, I have seen both of those days, and am beyond words about having reached that point in my life, because I know that other people in my shoes will never reach that point and will forever be stuck at a point that I once was in, where I never saw a future for myself. I remember feeling so lost and empty that I stopped planning for the future altogether. I stopped caring, I stopped trying, and I stopped worrying about what would come next, because I never believed I would make it past a certain age. I am living proof that thinking in that manner is detrimental, yet I completely understand why you would think that way. I know it’s not easy to change the way that you think, but sometimes you have to give in to the unknown and hope that there is something more for you out there and keep trying against all odds for something beyond yourself. It doesn’t really matter what it is, but you can’t give up just because you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. It may seem dark and endless, but there is always something worthwhile at the end

A flaw in the design of misery.

Title: stagnant

Title: anxiety