Hi!

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

Okay.

So depending on how pissed Ranpo is, it'd be fucked up for everyone.

Lets say he's had an awful day and he's tired and nothing is going right, he'd probably be grumpy and shut down and make everyone else around him miserable.

I was thinking more bad-day or someone said something because I’m writing that in my fic right now, but the second option sounds like a great opportunity for angst and unhinged Ranpo…

aku, looking ranpo dead in the eyes: vampires always end up falling in love with me, I'm trying to prevent it from happening again. and if you have any interest in me as well, bury it. not again. never again

Yosano: "Tell me your symptoms."

Atsushi: "I don’t really know how to explain it. Like something weird is happening in my stomach, like something is fluttering inside and– Why is Dazai-san laughing?"

Yosano: "Ignore him. Please, carry on."

Atsushi: "It's like this pull in my chest, like a tickling sensation– Ranpo-san, why are you smiling like that?"

Yosano: "Don't mind them. Do you remember when it all started? Does it happen at specific times?"

Atsushi: "Well, it used to happen even before, like when I got assigned to my first cases here at the Agency, and also when I meet new people... But this one feels different."

Yosano: "Mh, I see. You said 'before', before what exactly, Atsushi?"

Atsushi, concerned: "...Before partnering with Akutagawa."

Yosano, coughing a little: "Right. (Dazai for god's sake stop laughing!) So you say it happens every time you are with Akutagawa?"

Atsushi: "I guess so, yes."

Yosano: "And what do you think could be the cause?"

Atsushi: "I have no idea. I don't think it's something related to his ability, I know it pretty well by now. But could it be someone else's ability at Port Mafia?"

Yosano, eyeing Dazai who's rolling and slapping his fist on the floor: "I would exclude that, Atsushi. I believe that what you have is a simple case of butterflies in the stomach."

Atsushi: "B-butterflies? In my stomach?!"

Dazai: *making a howling strangled sound*

Yosano: "You don't have actual butterflies in your stomach. It's just a common saying."

Astsushi: "A common saying? For what?"

Ranpo: "For growing feelings for someone."

Atsushi: "Growing feelings?"

Ranpo: "Yes. Feelings."

Atsushi: "Ohh I get it now! That's such a relief. I do have feelings for Akutagawa!"

Yosano: "Wait, is he admitting it?"

Ranpo: "No, he's not."

Atsushi: "–Feelings of hate! That's what all this is about, right?"

Yosano, sighing: "You truly are worse than Ranpo. Actually, it's quite the opposite, Atsushi."

Atsushi, frowning: "The opposite? What do you mean by 'the opposite'?"

Ranpo: "You'll figure it out."

Yosano: "Yeah, don't look too much into it. Or maybe do. But don't worry, you're not going to die." *kicks Dazai who is still wheezing on the floor* "Contrary to this idiot!"

Atsushi: "Well, but I am worried. Are we sure is not some kind of dangerous ability regarding butterflies? I mean, we can't really rule out the possibility, can we? Dazai-san, you've been a member of the Port Mafia, you would know if there's someone who has an ability which involves butterflies– Dazai-san? Dazai-san, are you okay? ...Yosano-san, I believe Dazai-san is chocking."

Yosano: "Leave him."

Atsushi: "But–"

"This is where I watched my Childhood friend Leave for war and grow bitter resentment towards me for not joining him in the battlefield"

Chuuya’s is an elegant male beta fish.

teccho is a jellyfish

jouno is a manta ray

akutagawa is a sea dragon of sorts, bc why not

poe feels like an octopus, a massive deep sea one

mori is an orca

Kyouka is a great white shark.

Kunikida is some type of schooling fish.

Poe is a vampire octopus specifically.

Junichiro is a coconut octopus.

Fukuzawa would be straight-up furious. Not that Ranpo would care, because at least he’s still alive.

Poe can actually beat Dazai half the time if he gets just 6 hours of sleep beforehand, so it’s a welcome change of pace.

Atsushi has Byyoka, a white death.

Kyouka has Demon Snow, a razor whip.

Ranpo has Ultra, a monitor lizard that he’s convinced himself is a dragon. It isn’t. He spoils it though.

And so on and so forth…