Hi!

no, dazai did not search for every universe in the book to find one where oda is alive. no, dazai did not create any universe. he build it so oda can live in peace. he planned it for years, positioned his pieces in strategic locations and manipulated the move. that's why it's tragic: he couldn't afford to make any mistakes, it was his only chance. and he did not know any other reality. the only ace in his sleeve was the memory from original universe's dazai (the singularity).

in side b, dazai has a fleeting impulse to reach out to oda and tell him everything; all he wants is to have a drink with oda again just like old days, but he doesn't. well, after all his final goal is to commit suicide.

dazai believes, “There's nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering”.

he has this need to over rationalize everything (im getting back to it later hold on), he wants meaning and purpose. and logically, finds the most perfect outcome, disregarding his own feelings. for him to die and for oda to live.

(so it's not like an universal law at all... but rather a poetic one? oh, the irony of it all!)

in b tdipud, dazai doesn't let oda see his face or hear his voice, and intentionally makes oda feel resentment toward him by troubling his devoir — all to ensure that 1) oda doesn't ever become attached to him, and 2) he himself doesn't wish to prolong his meaningless life.

it's all settled from the beginning. dazai has a flair for the dramatic and wants a triumphant death at the end of a years-long plan.

yet it hurts in the end. it hurts when oda points a gun at him with cold eyes because even though all this is to be expected, feelings simply aren’t rational.

but the thing is, oda was inclined to believe him. it's only clear when you read the beast ln, but when dazai tells him everything, oda deems his own judgment flawed because he would have fallen for the port mafia boss's spiel. he is taken aback by how harsh his own voice sounds when he says, “Don't call me Odasaku.”

His gaze was so serious that I almost instinctively believed his words. But coming from the legendary boss of the Port Mafia, deceiving a worthless detective like me was easier than breathing. I gripped my gun tightly again. "It seems I’ll have to come up with another solution to save Akutagawa," I said. "That is, if I make it out of this bar alive." "I would never intend to set a trap for you," the young man said. Those words rang true as well. Damn it — at this rate, I can't rely on my own judgment. It looks like I’d be better off just closing my eyes and firing if I want to stay alive.

[...]

“Don’t call me Odasaku.” An unusually harsh voice escaped me. “I don’t like being called that by an enemy.”

The young man seemed unable to breathe properly. His face contorted, and his gaze traced a meaningless shape in the air. He opened and closed his mouth. He was struggling with something unseen.

ok

well not ok

i saw someone say loooong ago that regarding tdipud side a dazai is clueless, so he genuinely becomes oda's friend and then later manages to move on. on the other hand, in side b dazai tries not to get attached because he doesn't want to face grief (even if differently) again, and since he doesn't move on, he kills himself. and i thought that was a somewhat shallow reasoning, since it overlooks how much of this is really about dazai's idealizations and just how far he would go if given the chance. but then!!!!!!!! then i was reminded of a very interesting scene of tdipud side a ln:

“All the games up till this point have been to figure out how your skill works.” Dazai smiles happily. “Generally, the future you can see is only within five to six seconds, so if I wait for seven seconds or more after the last bet to open and switch my cards at the same time, you will not be able to see that future.”

“So, the games and the flow of conversation till now, were both according to your plan, you mean?”

“Hehe. Saying important things as a camouflage to get what you want. That is the basis of the negotiation technique.”

I ask as I organize the cards, “Which is camouflage of which?”

once again, dazai's urgency for reason. he buries his true feelings beneath layers of ulterior motives and over-rationalization.

oda immediately calls it out by asking, “Which is camouflage of which?”

dazai could only open up and freely talk about his personal life under the rational pretext of a goal: figuring out how to overcome oda's skill (or rather, beat oda at poker).

likewise, in beast, dazai camouflaged this whole avoidant defense mechanism under the pretext of finally committing suicide, of letting his friend live after handling everything behind the scenes — while he was actually avoiding facing his own feelings. (think of it as a cat that distances itself when it's about to die, lol.)

!! when dazai goes to confront mori at the climax of dark era, there is an important exchange between them:

“I told you — I'm always thinking about the organization as a whole. [...] And right now, Sakunosuke Oda is risking his life to eliminate a troublesome, violent group. It's a win-win situation. So why are you so angry?”

Dazai didn't say a word. That was just about the first time he'd ever been unable to articulate his feelings.

— There's nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering.

[...]

“[...] You killed those kids to get Odasaku to fight Mimic's leader because he is the only one who can defeat him.”

“My answer is the same, Dazai. I will do anything for the benefit of the organization. Besides, we are the Port Mafia. We have always brought darkness, violence and cruelty to this city. Why is that a problem now?”

Dazai knew. He knew Ougai's calculations, his mentality, and the rationale behind the plan. That was just the kind of organization the Port Mafia was. Logically speaking, Ougai was right and Dazai was wrong. But...

that's where the line is drawn between dazai and mori; and that's where dazai realizes oda is the contradiction and the exception and the very flaw to his entire line of reasoning — to his entire philosophy about life and death and meaning.

and then:

“You won't find it (a reason). [...] You should know that. Wheter you're on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity.”

— Awaken me from this oxiding world of a dream.

That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke Oda understood him much more than he'd ever imagined — right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn't realize until then that someone had known him so well.

(i find it intriguing how oda speaks about how nothing beyond dazai's expectations would ever appear before him, regardless of which side he is on, when throughout the whole tdipud narrative oda is constantly defying dazai's expectations. — but that's a story for another day)

now, one of the greatest points about dazai's development in the ada is that he accepts not everything needs to make sense. of course, old habits die hard but he is deconstructing it.