14 months sober. Not something I ever thought I could or would do, yet here I am.

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@myocddiary
14 months sober. Not something I ever thought I could or would do, yet here I am.

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Can someone please explain to me how I can be suicidal for over 20 years but also utterly terrified of dying??? Make it make sense.
How do I shut my head off it’s constantly looping and I can’t get any sleep and it’s making me want to die because it’s constantly replaying the trauma I’m trying to get through
I wish I could help but I’m struggling with the same thing and I have no idea how to stop it. Hope you find something that helps you soon. I’m sorry I’m so fucking useless
I’m looking at you A Court Of Thorns And Roses
Something that I’ve had to work really hard at is trusting myself. Trusting my opinions and trusting my inner voice that tells me something isn’t quite right. It’s so easy to dismiss my own thoughts and opinions because I always assume other people know better. Other people think differently to me and they are automatically right and I am wrong. It effects every part of your life when you think like that. I’ve convinced myself that I don’t like the colour red because somebody close to me hates it. But when I truly look at it, I LOVE the colour red. I didn’t put myself forward for a promotion at work because someone told me the job is too difficult. So I thought “yeh they’re probably right, I could never do it” even though before that conversation I was so up for it and excited to apply. Others opinions really do make us doubt our own. It’s a work in progress but I’m slowly learning to trust myself.

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Can you be sent inpatient for your ocd?
Yes you can.
Hope you’re ok xx
Hello lovely people,
I just wanted to quickly say that while I’m happy to answer people’s questions, I get an awful lot of people asking me if I think they have OCD based on x,y,z and I honestly cannot answer that. I’m not a Doctor or a psychiatrist and have absolutely no training, I just know my own experiences.
If you’d like to talk, feel free to talk to me and I’ll do my best to help but if you think you have OCD and it’s negatively affecting your life, please speak to a professional.
Love you all, stay safe
Xxx
“I’m so ocd” hey fuck off
I had a panic attack on the bus today because I started checking if I was nauseous which made me nauseous which made me anxious which made me more nauseous which made me more anxious which made me hyperventilate and mutter “it’s just ocd it can’t hurt me” over and over again for like 10 minutes between hyperventilating, deoxygenated my hands so badly they felt like McDonald’s sprite and nearly passed out.
This.
imagine being coherent. imagine having a single droplet of coherency. imagine speaking and having people understand what the fucks goin on in your noggin

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Hi😊 So I’m fairly certain I have OCD, I have a lot of different symptoms of multiple types, but I do this thing where I’ll start a show and then finish it, and watch it obsessively until I literally cannot stand to watch it anymore. I started Atypical at the beginning of November and have watched it almost 6 times since then.. is this an OCD thing or something else?
Hello 👋
I’m not 100% sure if it’s an OCD trait but I do the same thing! I completely obsess about it and watch it back to back constantly and then move onto another show and do the same again. I do it with books too. I remember reading somewhere that people with anxiety watch the same shows over and over as they know how it goes and there won’t be any surprises. It’s familiar and comforting. But I find that I get obsessed and I have to google all the actors and then I end up dressing like the characters and it’s a whole thing.
If you are worried about it though definitely go and seek help. If it is interfering with your everyday life or makes you have negative feelings then it is a problem that needs addressing. Hope you are ok. Lots of love xx
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that fuckin alien ass mystique handwriting stealing demon kinda terrifies me
Yeah they just kind of buried that in there like whatever
Hi! I hope you don’t have any more panic attacks, they’re the worst. Sending you love 💕 I hope you feel better
What a lovely message to be sent!
Thank you so much 😊
It’s been almost a week with no panic attacks so I’m feeling pretty good.
Lots of love to you and I hope you’re well ❤️❤️❤️

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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