i wish love was real

You had toed the line of masturbation once, your fingers dipping under the hem of your panties, exploring a little bit before chickening out when your phone pinged with a notification on your favorite TV show coming back for another season.

That’s how you ended up on this website an hour later, your eyes wide and round, trying to process all the different toys out there and their purpose, all the same - to make you cum.

In the end, you buy a few things that promise discreet shipping, and your face has a permanent blush for the entire week leading up to delivery. Jungkook had teased you, trying to figure out what had you so flustered, and you had to avoid eye contact with Namjoon before you did something embarrassing like spilling everything out loud while you three had your weekly brunch hangout at your favorite local diner.

By the time Friday came around and the box was picked up from your mailbox, your heart pounded. Sweat lined your brow, your palms becoming clammy as you thought about what was inside. It was all new to you, taking the step to exploring things you hadn’t thought to do before.

And because of your lack of experience, you decided to start slowly, buying only two toys. The red rose bud was small with a hole at the top. The small toy was meant to be placed on your clit, sucking the little nub until you reach a toe-curling orgasm - or that’s what the website said.

You had also bought a wand, the hot pink massager, just too cute not to pass up. You had bought them both under the understanding that most women can reach their orgasms through clit stimulation, and you honestly weren’t sure if you could handle a dildo. If you didn’t put your fingers into your pussy, how could you take something bigger?

And so, alone in your bedroom, you tried masturbation.

Your fingers slowly caress your body, playing with your nipples until a soft tingling could be felt between your legs. Your thighs clenched together, and your face flushed as you slowly moved your hand down. You felt awkward and unsure as you held the little rose in your hand. But you turned the small toy on, the vibrations tingling your fingertips and causing a wave of slick seep from your pussy as you brought it to your aching cunt.

You thought about the smut you read, the scenarios coloring a picture behind your eyelids as you finally slipped the toy between your open thighs, tucking the vibrating silicone in between your puffy, wet folds until it reached your pulsing clit. Your hips buck when the suction on your clit sends ‘zaps!‘ all the way to your toes. It makes your jaw drop in a surprised gasp, and a heat to curl in your stomach, the muscles in your thighs twitch as a moan slips from your lips in pleasure.

It becomes clear why people did this, your core tightened as your pussy became wetter with each second passing. Your brain scrambles, your head sinking deeper into your pillows as you try to think of something. Anything. The fantasy that would get you over the edge as your hips bucked up into your hand, the rose swirling your nub doing what it was made to.

Stars burst behind your eyelids, your thighs clamping around your hand as your moans turn into whimpers, your jaw slacking open wider. The heat pools and the invisible coil tightens, and then for one moment an intrusive thought comes, and your eyes roll to the back of your head.

Quietly, your body convulses, your muscles locking up as the orgasm crashes through you. Your vision whitens, and the wave of slick that seeps from your fluttering pussy drenches the toy with your arousal. Your orgasm ebbs and flows, slipping into tremors in your thighs as you curl onto your side.

When the ringing in your ears subsides, you have to face your thoughts, your eyes teary as shame washes over you. The image your brain conjured up to pull you over the edge rolls in your mind, playing on repeat as you realize that the thought of Namjoon and Jungkook seeing you masturbating was the reason you orgasmed.

It takes you a few moments to get out of your bed after the fact, your mind reeling as you pad over to your bathroom. Your bathroom mirror reflects you, naked, face flushed to the ears, your eyes glossy as you hold the toy limply in your hand. And like the thought opened a web of spiders, your mind slips up, and you wonder what you would look like in your friend's eyes if they saw you like this. Post orgasm, pussy throbbing in the aftershocks, your body soft from the release of tension.

In less than twenty minutes, you clean your new toy, take a shower, pack up your new purchases, and shove them deep into your closet. You don’t care that, as a new customer, the website gifted you an extra gift, and you hadn’t even opened the purple bag to see what it was. Your only thought was: how were you going to look at your friends the same?

-

You make it one week dodging both men before you’re cornered by Jungkook in the library. You honestly thought out of the two of them, there was a higher chance of bumping into Namjoon in the quiet library, but no, while you buried your head in five different books, you hear someone sit heavily into the seat across from you.

“You’re avoiding me,” Jungkook says, as if it were a fact. His arms crossed over his chest in indignation. He sits back in the old wooden chair like it’s a throne. His legs are spread wide, his head tilted as he raises his pierced eyebrow at you, like he dared you to say otherwise. And you’re barely processing that he’s found you, pretty positive he should be in class right now, but then he’s speaking up again. “And you’re avoiding Joonie, too. He told me so.” He huffs, and it’s another nail in the coffin.

“What?” Is your dumb reply, blinking owlishly at the man before you as you think about the toys buried in the back of your closet. “I’m not.” You don’t sound convincing, and Jungkook levels you a stare that makes you sit up straighter. You ignore the heat that stirs in your lower stomach as you feel his gaze on you, and bring your eyes down to the book in front of you. “I’ve been busy.”

Jungkook scoffs, and you don’t have to look up to know he’s rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sure,” his sarcasm drips from every word, but you don’t know what else to say. “I will find out what’s going on eventually, y’know?” He leans closer, his body draping over the table to get to you. “You can’t hide from us.”

Usually, when someone got too close, you’d stumble back with a blush on your face. But as Jungkook’s face got closer to yours, your breath caught in your throat. You stayed perfectly still, your gaze flickering from his warm chocolate eyes to his lips. A web of spiders, truly, you thought, because your mind thought of how it’d feel to kiss Jungkook with his lip piercing, and your thighs clenched together under the table in response.

You realize a little too late that you should probably move back from him as you come back from your own thoughts, slowly. You miss the way Jungkook’s eyes flash through a few emotions, and then it’s seconds before you’re lurching backwards. The wooden chair scrapes against the floor with a screech, and you’re scrambling to get out of here. To get away from Jungkook.

“I uh,” your brain short-circuits, and you stuff your books and papers into your bag as quickly as you can while Jungkook is leaning over the table, frozen. You adamantly avoid eye-contact with him and sling your bag over your shoulder in haste. “Forgot I picked up an extra shift, I have to go.”

You’re practically running from your friend, running from your problems, not even noticing him staring in space long after you’re gone.

-

Those words Jungkook said to you swirl in your brain days later, and it still makes your heart pound in your chest. You’re still avoiding both of them, changing the routes you usually walked to get to your next class in hopes you don’t have to face your feelings. It’s childish, but you’re determined, and it gets to the point where you miss your weekly brunch with Namjoon and Jungkook on Tuesday.

And that’s why on Thursday, when you find yourself furrowing your eyebrows as you try to pull up the walls of your clay on the wheel during your little ceramics class, you’re taken off guard.

Your friend, Taehyung, is sitting next to you, already shaping his own clay with wet hands as he speaks up, “Is something going on with you?” He doesn’t even look over when he says it. His tongue is caught between his lips, his own eyebrow furrowing as he tries to not let the clay collapse into itself.

You blink in surprise when he says it. Your clay is circling aimlessly as you look over at Taehyung in alarm. “What do you mean?”

Taehyung lets his clay circle on the wheel as he sits up. His chunky sweater is pushed up to his elbows, and the mixture of clay and water splatters up to his forearms as he looks at you. The messy mop of curls on his head hangs slightly over his eyes, so you can’t really make eye contact, and you’re thankful for that. “Those other friends you have,” he starts, and your eyes flicker to his clay as it starts leaning to the side. “The tall ones you met in Art History, they asked me if you were acting strange.”

Your heart stutters and drops to your stomach in less than a second. You actually wince, “They talked to you?”

Taehyung had already looked away from you to see his clay fall over. His lips pursed, a pout forming as he grabbed the clay and clumped it into a messy ball to start over. “Yeah, they were asking me all these questions, and it confused me.” He hummed it like an afterthought. “Because I don’t think you are acting strange, and I told them that, but I guess now I don’t know-” his head turns to you, tilting as a concerned friend. “Is there something I should know?”

Your heart surges from your stomach, moving upwards, ready to fly to your friend and his actual concern for you. And you shake your head, “I’m okay, I’m just processing some new information I came across.”

It's a vague excuse, but not a lie, and it seems to placate your friend enough because he nods his head before jumping to tell you about his lab partner in Biology, Jimin, and the fact that the teacher hates them because they giggle too much.

You listen, nodding your head, your eyes on your hockey puck-shaped clay spinning around and around on your wheel. Your hands dip in the grey muddy water before you touch the drying clay and continue shaping it, pulling up the walls, with a distracted gaze. Taehyung’s words drown out as your own thoughts come rushing in.

Jungkook said you couldn’t hide from them, and now you know they both really meant it.

-

It wasn’t funny anymore.

It had been two years since you were placed into that group project with Namjoon and Jungkook. That was two years of friendship, of them trying to lure you to go to the gym with them as a hangout, to movie nights, to all-nighter study sessions, and weekly brunches.

You hadn’t missed one brunch in two years.

“I told you something is up,” Jungkook grumbles, and Namjoon sits there quietly. The younger man is pacing in Namjoon’s room, his eyes squinting, trying to think what happened to get you acting this way. “Do you think she knows?” Jungkook asks and meets Namjoon’s eyes for a moment.

The older man is leaning back on his desk chair; he had twirled it around the moment Jungkook came barging in. It had been two days since they had asked around your known friend group if you were acting strange or distancing yourself from them, too. And it made them even more frustrated when Taehyung shook his head, confused, and when your friend Chae-won said you had been perfectly normal with her.

It had confirmed you were just acting this way to them.

Namjoon did his best to think back to his last interaction with you and Jungkook, and nothing weird seemed off. Ultimately, he ended up shrugging, giving Jungkook an unsatisfying answer. “No, I don’t think so.”

He was pretty confident you didn’t know they both had been harboring feelings for you ever since you sat down at their table in the library for the group project. You were all soft smiles and shy as you pulled out all your highlighters and pens. You were so cute, eagerly giving them a greeting as their new partner in the group, and he had been pretty smitten ever since.

It hadn’t taken two days before you were just another vital part of Namjoon’s daily routine. Jungkook was already his roommate, and so it was easy to see Jungkook had felt the same way with the way the younger man hung onto every word you said as you guys studied in a cafe next time you three met up.

And it was easy to see how innocent you were when, any time Namjoon brushed his hands over yours, handing you back one of your pens, you would blush.  Or when Jungkook leaned in too close, trying to read from the same book as you, and it would leave you a stuttering mess.

A few days of observation, small soft-launched questions were posed to you, and they found out you weren’t dating anyone. That you hadn’t been dating anyone, actually, since you started university two years prior. And it had shocked Jungkook, his head whipping to Namjoon, but you didn’t even see their looks as you read the next paragraph of the book you three were analyzing.

So, as they got to know you, learning your sweet personality and your cute little interests, both men had agreed to wait it out. If you weren’t open to hooking up or dating, but rather focusing on studying through college, they’d respect it.

But oh, how you made it difficult for them without realizing.

-

Jungkook felt like he had reverted to his teenage self when you invited him to your dorm for the first time. You had greeted them both with a dazzling smile, wearing just an oversized sweatshirt and small shorts, nearly killing them on the spot. Your socks were mismatched as you led them inside your humble abode, and went straight into “host mode”, offering snacks or drinks as they settled in for your next group study session.

It had seemed that while you were at home, you were more outgoing, more comfortable nudging your hip playfully into Namjoon’s or squeezing Jungkook’s arm when he said something silly.

It would be a lie if they said they couldn’t help but watch you in your element. They checked you out when you bent over to grab the pen you accidentally dropped, and when your cheeks flushed in excitement because you yapped off-topic into ten different stories at once, they couldn’t help but fall in love with you a little bit more.

And when you hugged them goodbye two hours later, Jungkook almost collapsed. It was then that he realized you weren’t wearing a bra under your baggy sweatshirt, and it was that same night his “phase” began, needing to sink into someone else when he couldn’t have you right then.

And it only got worse as time went on. Eventually, Namjoon would fold as Jungkook did around finals week, the stress of his classes and the fact that he had bottled up his feelings for you enough to make him break.

And you were never the wiser.

Well, not until now.

-

It had been two weeks since you had found out Jungkook and Namjoon had talked to your friend, Taehyung. And you missed them both dearly.

I mean, at this point, you were ready to ignore the feelings you had discovered as long as it meant you could see your friends. And that thought was your final decision as you made it home from a late-night shift from your part-time job. You planned to get home, shower, and call them to come over and maybe do a movie night and move on from all this silliness.

You hum, absent-mindedly, as you unlock your apartment door. You slip your shoes off one by one before hanging your keys on the hook by the door, barely acknowledging that there were already more shoes than normal on the entrance rug. You knew your roommate Ha-rin was going to be gone for the weekend; she always spent it at her boyfriend’s, so you’d have the apartment all to yourself.

Your bag was dropped onto your couch, your jacket hanging off the back of the sofa as you made your way to your bedroom.

Shower.

Call.

Movie night?

It was the only thought you had as you swung your bedroom door open with a sigh. But within seconds, you're frozen in place as you make eye contact with Namjoon first and then Jungkook.

You had given them a spare key to your place after too many days of you finding them waiting to be let in, so you guys could hang out or have a meal together. And so, it wasn’t surprising to find them in your bedroom; what was surprising was what was in their hands.

Jungkook is in front of your closet, wide-eyed, with handcuffs and a small purple bag in his tattooed hand, while Namjoon holds the small, rose-shaped silicone toy.

Seeing it makes all of your memories of that night flood through your mind, and your face heats up as they look at you. “Wha-“

“Are you dating someone?” Jungkook blurts, and you’re caught off guard yet again.

“Huh?”

“If you’re dating someone and that’s why you’re ignoring us, that’s okay. We’d understand, but you could have-“ Namjoon starts, and now it was your turn to cut him off.

Your jaw drops, and your eyebrows furrow as you say, “I’m not dating anyone!”

Jungkook and Namjoon seem just as lost as you are, and it’s Jungkook who raises the cuffs in his hand. “But you have toys?” And you can't help but laugh at the silliness of it all.

“Okay?” You ignore the heat on your cheeks, stepping further into your bedroom as they look at you with round eyes. “I can’t try some things out?”

You can see the realization dawn on them slowly, their own faces heating up as you cross your arms. “Then why’d you-“

Fuck it.

“I thought of you.” The confession comes out quick and soft, so fast that you hope they don’t even understand what you said. But with the way Jungkook’s eyebrows raise and Namjoon’s mouth parts, you know they did. “Both of you,” you add and shift your weight from one foot to the other, shyly now.

“Both of us?” Namjoon asks, and you don’t see him take a step closer, the air shifting as Jungkook stands up.

“At the same time?”

Your head nods before your words come out, your eyes widening as both of them move closer to you. “Yes. Both of you at the same time.”

Namjoon reaches you first. His large hand makes the toy in his palm look tiny as he tilts his head, giving you a look that makes your breath hitch. “Can you tell us what exactly you were thinking in that pretty little head of yours as you played with yourself?”

And you knew, once you crossed this line, there was no turning back.

-

“Fuck, Baby. You’re so wet.“ Namjoon groans, he’s face-to-face with your pretty pussy, watching the way your arousal seeps from your puffy folds as his body keeps your legs spread open. Your hands are raised above your head, handcuffed to your headboard, and leaving you helpless to the two men in your bed.

You never thought it would lead to this. That they’d confess their feelings for you, and that you’d see your fantasies come to fruition.

“Is she? All for us?” Jungkook hummed. He was lying on his side, next to you. His lips pulled into an amused grin, his tattooed hand sliding down the front of your stomach and down between your open thighs.

You were naked, blushing, and soaking wet. And when Jungkook’s fingers gathered the slick coating your wet folds, your eyelashes fluttered closed. Your breath hitched as your teeth bit your bottom lip, and he dragged your sweet slick up to your pulsing clit.

“Oh fuck,” your mewl is needy, your head falling back into the pillows as Jungkook swirled his fingertips nice and slow around your sensitive nub. No one had touched you before like this, but your body responded so well to them, your thighs twitching as he put more pressure, pulling more cute noises from your lips.

“Pretty pussy’s just soaking wet, huh?” Jungkook hummed, and Namjoon pulled one of your thighs over his shoulder, his fingers spread your wet folds open wider, getting an intimate view of the way your drooling cunt clenched around nothing.

Jungkook slipped his fingers from your clit, showing you the way you made his fingers glisten with your slick before your mouth dropped open.

Namjoon had wasted no time in burying his face between your thighs the moment Jungkook moved. His fat tongue flattening against your slit, dragging up until he could suck your clit into his mouth with a low groan.

You had never felt anything like it. Your thighs clamped around Namjoon’s head, your back arching as your toes curled. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

The noise you made was pornographic. Your cheeks flushing, your wrists straining against the cuffs as Namjoon’s big hands grabbed your waist, keeping you from running from his tongue.

“Fuck, she tastes good too, Koo.” Joonie groaned, his hips pressing into the mattress underneath him to find friction for his aching cock. His lips kissed your clit, his tongue licking the syrupy sweetness you dripped like it was his new favorite dessert.

And then he was burying his face further, his jaw slacking open wider, his fingers digging into your thighs as Jungkook slicked-covered fingertips circle your nipples, coating both of them with your sweetness. “Yeah?” He says to Namjoon, knowing he won’t get an answer. ”I want a taste.”

Namjoon’s tongue bullied its way into your wet heat, curling and filling your hole as your gummy walls fluttered in pleasure. And Jungkook’s lips wrapping around one of your nipples, his tongue swirling the nub and making you cry out louder as he sucked the sweetness off your breast.

It was overwhelming. Two mouths, four hands on your body, with you unable to touch either of them. You had only read this kind of stuff online, never once thinking you’d experience it. And it felt so good.

Jungkook leans over you, giving your other nipple the same treatment he gave the previous one. His lips wrapped around your areola, sucking the slick he had smeared onto your breast with his tongue. And his tongue sends tingling electricity all the way to your pussy.

Namjoon held onto your soft thighs, groaning into your wet cunt as your thighs tightened around his head. It only made his cock twitch more, precum staining his boxers as he made out with pretty pussy. He gave you toe-curling swirls from his tongue as he shook his head, trying to reach deeper into your fluttering hole with a pussydrunk moan that you felt vibrate throughout your body.

The familiar heat you had felt with your rose toy returned, and your whines grew more needy and high-pitched as they continued. They left you crying out their names, hips bucking as Jungkook’s teeth grazed your sensitive nipples and Namjoon sucked your clit into his mouth again, flicking his tongue rapidly until you were seeing white.

Your body locked up the moment you reached your orgasm. Your mouth dropped open into a scream before your body shook, your eyes rolling to the back of your head in ecstasy.

Namjoon kept his mouth on your pussy, his tongue working you through your first orgasm, prolonging the high as Jungkook kneaded your breasts with his hands. “That’s it, cum on Joonie’s tongue,” Jungkook hummed, his lips kissing your shoulder and up your neck as you whimpered. “You did so good for us.”

When your orgasm subsides into tremors in your thighs, Jungkook is already unlocking the cuffs around your wrists. I guess the cuffs were your gift when you had purchased your two toys and your pussy clenched around nothing, pathetically, as Jungkook gave your wrists each a kiss.

You look gorgeous like this. Your body pliant, pussy glistening with need, your lips parted as you tried to catch your breath.

Namjoon sits up onto his knees, kneeling between your legs as Jungkook puts the handcuffs on your bedside table next to your two toys. They both watch as you flutter your eyes open, cheeks flushed, and your eyelids half-mast as you blink up at them with glossy eyes. And it’s Namjoon who speaks first.

“You good, Pretty?” In the end, they both knew this was still new for you, and they wanted to make sure you were still okay.

They didn’t know you were already thinking back to stories you had read late at night, imagining what you could try next.

Your lips curved into a smile, and your tongue wetted your lips as you answered softly. “M’good. Can I try sucking one of your guys’ cocks?”

Fuck.

It’s about to be a long weekend.

wow you made it to the end.

tell me about it.

Now, chan knows he’s got a big dick—definitely bigger than any you've ever had before, and it doesn't really make a difference to him. either you take it, or he shoves it in your snug cunt as you gasp around him, eyes watering, swollen lips dropping into a pretty little 'oh!'

“Ah-hngh s’too big! I don’t think-”

“You will, pretty.” he chuckles darkly, leaning down till his breath is hot against your ear. “Because I’ll make it fit.”

Okay, maybe he lied—maybe it really does make a difference. Because right now, with you already so cockdrunk as he bullied his furiously leaking tip into you, chan doesn’t think he’s ever been harder.

“Are-are you at least hngh-halfway in?” he hears you whimper. Cock twitching so animalistically inside you at the way your voice cracks so adorably at the end, tinged with desperation.

he can’t but smirk, brows furrowed, greedy gaze stuck on the obscene way your pretty lips struggle to take him in. Pussy spread open so shamefully for him, quivering and leaking so sinfully onto the sheets below.

“aaaalmost there, pretty" reaching down to kiss away the tear streaming down your cheek.

God, he has to fight down some feral, animalistic part of him that wants to just plunge his throbbing cock into you already. But no, not yet. What’s the fun if he can’t see you struggle a bit more?

Instead, pushing in shallow little thrusts to fit inside you. Each one has his prominent veins pulsing angrily against your walls, hitting that one spot just right. A maddening bump! bump! bump! you were losing your mind to.

Stretching you to your limits. You could almost feel his achingly hard tip hitting your cervix already.

grunts leave him at the way you moan breathlessly at each motion, scrambling to grab onto the pillow, the sheets, him— just anything to ground you to your sanity as you’re split apart on his cock. not knowing wether to push his hips away with your hands or buck up your own towards him.

“tsk tsk, no running" chan tuts, his fingers wrapping around your hips in a bruising grip. holding you still under him.

You let out a delirious squeal as he pulls you down down down onto his cock. Plush walls taking him in greedily inch by inch. Hungry for more.

He knew his pretty girl could do it—you always do.

“Don’t think you can run away from me, pretty” he groans over your pathetic little yelps of “Ah! Too- too big, Gonna break-”

“Then break f’me.”

And with that, chan couldn't hold himself back, ramming in the rest of his length in one, harsh thrust. Not stopping till he’s buried in your dripping cunt all the way to the hilt.

A low hiss leaves him as his abs rub against your skin, twitching balls finally smacking against your ass. Finally taking all of him.

he threw his head back with a groan as you mewled, finally bottoming out inside you, he waited for so long—teasing himself as much as you.

“Oh! Oh my—ah, fuck. Want it—need it s’bad. Please-" you mewl, hips bucking wildly. Too cock-drunk to even form proper sentences, pleas falling out of your mouth. you think you could almost cum just from the feeling of being so overwhelmingly full of him.

and his eyes darkend with lust when he looked down at you, shaking and trembling and a buldge prominent above where his cock was inside you.

“Feel me in here, pretty girl?” he rumbles, low and dangerous. “Feel me right…” he trails a long finger in between the valley of your breasts. Fingertips trailing down, down, down to your navel, pressing hard onto your stomach, “...there.”

You gasp at the pressure, breath catching in your throat at the dangerous smirk curling his lips as he begins to pull out inch by inch, agonizingly slow. Getting ready to fucking ruin you.

Because boy does it stroke his ego to see you absolutely wrecked by his huge cock, struggling to just take him.

and it doesnt take long for you to reach your breaking point, every rough thrust pushing you deeper and deeper into the mattress under you, all coherent thoughts fucked out of you

"look at youu-hah-already fucked stupid huh?" all you can do is nod deliriously. struggling to breath as quick 'plap plap plap's filled the room.

"jus' a brainless little—toy for me to ruin yeah?" you clenched. hard. he groaned.

“oh, fuck—yeah. you love that, don’t you? being used. being my pretty thing to ruin.” his cock was twitching so deliciously inside, walls clamping down on him.

you cried out, “yes! fuck, i love it—please, harder—”

he reached down to grip your throat, your face turning a pretty shade of pink, his grip making you struggle to breath, still fucking deep, brutal, fast. your body jolted with every stroke.

“then take every inch. show me you mean it.”

he grabbed your jaw, forced your mouth open, spit into it again. “swallow.”

you obeyed. always.

“there you go, goood girl" his pace faltered—then slammed in harder. faster. pounding. like he wanted to break something—break you.

“gonna fill you up” he gasped, his hips stuttering, pace faltering. hand leaving your throat to grip your hips as his thrusts turned sloppy.

your orgasm hit so hard your legs collapsed. you shrieked "oh—chan!”body shaking, pussy clenching, drenched mess over his cock and thighs.

" fuck take it—take it" he shoved in, one final time, and came. deep. thick. endless. flooding your cunt until it was dripping, running down your thighs.

banner creds: uzmacchiato

It’s that glimmer of gratitude you resolve to cling to throughout his inevitable goading. 

No wonder he came to check on you. It’s his room. You’ve been gone far too long to feasibly be “plugging your phone in.” In your defense, you did start charging your phone, but you also happened to get distracted. 

He flops down on his stomach next to you with a force akin to a small earthquake. The mattress dips and jostles you closer until your arm is pressed against his, and you promptly disregard every thought you’ve ever had. Instead of scooting away, he drapes that arm around your shoulders like it’s the most natural thing in the world. 

“I wasn’t drooling,” you mutter, then mentally kick yourself for it. You pray he can’t hear the blood rushing in your ears. 

To anyone else, anyone who didn’t know the extent of your unrequited love, you two must look like a couple. Cuddled against each other, easy familiarity, so close it hurts in every way possible. 

He’s mere inches away. If he wanted, he could lean in and easily close the gap between you. 

Instead, he just laughs in your face, like the terrible friend he is. Trying to ignore your heart skipping a beat at the sound, you burrow closer into his embrace, reveling in as much of him as he’ll let you have. 

His chest vibrates when he speaks again. “I had a good time last night.” He pairs his kind words with a rude poke to your side. 

A good time is underestimating it, at least for you. Innie claimed that the rest of the guys were always hogging up your free time, and he missed his best friend. He booked a reservation at an Italian restaurant notoriously hard to get into – but he’s an idol, of course he has connections like that. 

If this were a romance movie, one of you would have confessed. Preferably him, to spare you the embarrassment. But it’s not, and at the end of the night, he dropped you off at home with a beaming smile and the memory. 

If this were a romance movie, now would also be a pretty good time for a confession. 

You look up at him. He’s looking back at you. 

The entire world shrinks to only him, and his eyes, staring into yours. “Yeah?” you ask, breathless. 

He grins. “Yeah,” his voice is low. His eyes drop down to your lips, and suddenly his hand is cupping your chin, his thumb brushing over your lower lip. 

Then, he clears his throat, the sound piercing. He shakes his head, as if to snap himself out of a thought, then whispers, “You had something.” He doesn’t remove his thumb. 

As if on cue, Seungmin walks past his open doorway headed towards the kitchen. He peeks inside, and immediately freezes in his tracks while his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline at the scene before him. 

Cuddled against each other. Easy familiarity. So close it hurts. 

Before he says anything too incriminating – and thus ensuring his death by your hands – he’s interrupted by a wild-eyed Changbin barreling past him and into Jeongin’s room, yelling “Chan’s buying us food! Get up! Hurryhurryhurry!”

An outraged, “The fuck I am!” sounds from the living room. 

Thirty minutes later, Chan buys everyone dumplings from Changbin’s favorite spot. 

At the restaurant, Jeongin steals a dumpling off Changbin’s plate rather unsuccessfully. The plop as it lands on the table alerts Changbin to the attempted thievery, and naturally, Jeongin winds up in a headlock as punishment. They go back and forth exclaiming, “Say you’re sorry!” and “I didn’t even do anything!” until Chan looks like he’s about to start sprouting grey hairs. 

“He’s such an idiot,” Seungmin says beside you. 

“I know,” you sigh. “I want his balls in my mouth.” 

Seungmin freezes with a steamed bun inches away from his lips. “Please,” he deadpans. “Never speak to me again.” 

Hyunjin proves himself nearly useless. However, he’s a lot better than your complete uselessness, so you find yourself taking his advice a few days later. 

“What does painting my feelings even mean?” you ask. Hyunjin sits across from you, concentrating on his own canvas like he’s the one about to confess via acrylic paint. Maybe he is; he and Changbin have been acting particularly married lately. A variety of paint tubes sits on the table between you two. “What color are my feelings?” 

Hyunjin snorts. “I don’t know, what color do you think pabo is?”

“Green?”

With a small grin, Hyunjin slides a pigment labelled Permanent Green closer to you, then subsequently dodges it when you hurl it back at him. Shame. He exclaims something about Changbin killing him if any more paint spills in their dorm, but you’re not listening, instead choosing to stare down at your canvas as if it will unveil its secrets if you simply look at it long enough. 

Hyunjin had sworn on his life that painting your love and gifting it to Jeongin would work, and the boy would swoon in your arms upon receiving it. He claimed there was no possible way he could miss the hint of his obviously-in-love best friend creating art for him. It is romantic, if nothing else. The only problem is you have no idea where to start. Or end. Or anything in between. Both of you, apparently, drastically overestimated your love’s ability to be painted. 

You stare longer, but the canvas unabashedly remains blank. 

“What comes to mind when you first think about him? Any special memories between you, anything you like to do together?” he asks. “If you say something nasty I’m kicking you out.” 

Jeongin brought you to a flower field a few weeks beforehand. He plucked a daisy, tucked it behind your ear, and smiled brighter than the sun. You want to keep being the reason he smiles like that. Back at home, you pressed the daisy as a keepsake. 

It might not be the idyllic, romantic embodiment Hyunjin probably hoped for, but it’s a lovely memory regardless. A flower field is fairly easy to paint, right?

Hyunjin gives his stamp of approval to your idea, as well as a five-minute-straight monologue about how cute you and Jeongin are together, your nerves about your gift heightening with each “you’re made for each other!” 

What if he doesn’t even like it? What if he doesn’t know the meaning behind it? What if he does know the meaning behind it?

As much as Hyunjin woes about his own love life, you feel justified wallowing in his presence a bit longer. 

“Can we please not talk about this? I don’t really want to think about how he’ll probably reject it.”

Hyunjin drops it for all of two minutes – just enough time for you to barely dip your paintbrush into Radiant Blue and cover most of the canvas in broad, sweeping strokes. 

“I think he loves you,” he says, without looking up from his own canvas. 

The paintbrush slips out of your fingers. Blue paint splatters across your jeans, and stains the floor where the brush lands. Hyunjin sees it, purses his lips, but thankfully doesn’t say anything else about his own impending doom. 

“He does not,” you assure him once you stop air from going down the wrong pipe. 

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, somehow loudly. “Do you want a list of reasons why I know he is? For one, he wouldn’t shut up about those flowers you picked for him.” The same flowers you chose to paint. He tacks on, “It was gross.” 

Your heart sinks at the implication you wish was true. “That was as friends,” you mutter, like a child who got told no. Hoping Hyunjin would take the hint, you pick up your paintbrush from the floor and continue swiping it across the canvas, trying to fix the parts that are streaky from the fall. 

He either did not get the hint or is flat out ignoring it. “I don’t take just friends to pick flowers,” you bite back the urge to point out Jeongin only knew about it because Changbin took Hyunjin, “and spend the next three hours talking about how pretty she looked.” 

“He did that?” Heat rises to your cheeks. 

He nods. “He only stopped because Minho threatened to tape his mouth closed.” 

The next hours are spent in relative silence as you two paint. As grateful as you are to avoid speaking about Jeongin, you’re unable to stop thinking about him – about if Hyunjin was exaggerating, about Jeongin’s reaction, about either possibility of him accepting or rejecting it. 

A flower field is not fairly easy to paint, as evidenced by Hyunjin’s snorting laughter when you finally show him your canvas. It’s not winning any awards anytime soon, but you thought it was alright, at least. 

“A child could have done a better job!” he exclaims. “An actual child!” He dodges yet another paint tube – when did he get so good at that? Through laughter, he says again, “It’s proof he loves you if he actually displays it anywhere.”

Unfortunately, Hyunjin made sure to be there while you gift it to Jeongin. 

“I love it!” Jeongin looks like you awarded him the moon and stars, rather than – you’ll admit it now – a pretty terrible painting. “Thank you!” 

And he walks away, admiring it. 

Hyunjin will not let this go for a long time. 

You’re staring at Jeongin making downright sinful noises doing pushups and debating when exactly in your life you lost your mind. You must have at some point, as only an insane person would agree to Chan asking you to accompany them to the gym.  

Jeongin does another pushup, grunting, and all rational thoughts leave your brain. 

Down. Up. Grunt.  

Would he make the same sounds if–  

“You know, they say those work better if you actually lift them,” Chan takes the bench next to you, carrying his own dumbbells orders of magnitude heavier than the ones laying abandoned by your feet. 

“Hm?” 

Jeongin finishes his set, and as if in slow motion, strips off his shirt. Sweat glistens on his chest, even in their gym’s terrible lighting. Good god. It would’ve been kinder if Chan punched you in the sternum and called it a day. 

Chan’s laugh breaks through the Jeongin-brain fog clouding your mind. You wrench your eyes away from the, quite frankly, ludicrous display going on to glare at him. 

“You’ve got a bit of drool on your chin there.” He seems more amused than he should. 

“Why does everyone keep saying I drool? It’s gross and I don’t do it.” 

“Yeah, it is gross, isn’t it?” Chan pauses to take in your expression, and lets out a deep sigh. “Look, you should just tell him, rip off the band-aid, you know? Have you tried anything like that?”

“I’ve tried, but I don’t know, something in me freezes up every time I try and I end up gaping at him like a fish.” 

Even before this week, you’ve tried so often, but the words always die in your throat. It’s harder than it seems, confessing your undying love to your best friend. 

Chan’s staring at you like you grew a second mouth, one that said something stupid. 

“What?” you ask. 

He shakes his head. “Nothing, just remembering similar conversations.” He glances across the room, where Jeongin’s in position to start doing pushups again. God save everyone. “I think you should tell him though. Now.” 

“Are you cra–”

“Now. Re-rack your weights first.” He lifts his dumbbells off the floor and turns his attention towards the wall-to-wall mirror, shutting you out of the conversation and leaving no room for debate. 

Your heartbeat thunders in rhythm with your footsteps. 

Jeongin drops down with a dramatic sigh — seriously, an all-out punch would’ve been kinder, Chan — once he sees you approach. Then, he rolls on his back on the probably grimy, definitely sweaty floor and exclaims “There you are!” with a huge smile. 

“Help me up?” he holds his hands out in the air for you to take. 

Of course you do. 

Of course he doesn’t let go once he’s standing. 

Once again, his intense gaze burns straight through you. You’re all but positive your confession is written on your forehead, with how intently he’s looking at you, as if nobody else exists. 

You can’t tell him. Not here. Not in a gym. Not with Chan watching. 

“Are you finally going to join me? I could use the motivation,” Jeongin winks, still holding your hands in his. Your heart drops to your stomach and your stomach jumps up to your throat. 

He could get you to agree to anything, internal organs all out of balance as they are. 

“Y-yeah. Sure.” Hopefully you could claim the sweat forming is from exercise. 

His resulting smile could blind the dead. “Awesome! I’ll get set up!”

With that, he drops your hands and turns his back to stride towards a machine. Finally, you can breathe normally again. You trail after him, glancing back at Chan on the way. He looks like he expected absolutely nothing less out of that whole situation. 

“I think that’s a biohazard,” Seungmin informs, taking a seat next to where your head so elegantly landed when you flopped face-down on their couch. “I mean, I’ve seen Felix stay in that exact spot for, like, two days straight. And he’s gross, so just imagine what’s still in the cushions.” 

“Can’t move,” your reply is muffled. You’re not even lying this time – your bones are pudding only hours after working through Jeongin’s push day routine with him. 

“Your funeral, I guess.” 

The couch is unfairly comfortable, honestly, and you have half a mind to succumb to the sleep threatening to pull you under. But, you can tell Seungmin is enjoying the silence, which just won’t do. Not on your watch. 

“You ever see Innie working out?” you ask, not bothering to move your face away from the couch in any way to help him understand you. 

“All the time. Hey, can I borrow your phone? Mine’s dead.”

“It’s on the coffee table.” Truly, if you could move your arms at all, you would hand it over. “It’s amazing, isn’t it? He’s like a statue.” 

Seungmin releases a sound like he’s dying around the sound of him typing. “Did you come here just so I could suffer with you?” 

“And he has abs!”

Seungmin leans forward, then he gently sets your phone back down. “I will smother you until you stop talking,” he deadpans. 

“I’ll cook dinner for you if I can keep going.”

“You were saying something about his abs?”  

Fifteen minutes and twenty instances of Seungmin asking what you’re making later, you have enough feeling in your arms to begin dinner preparation. 

Your phone pings with a new text once the chicken is almost finished cooking on the stovetop.

Innie: I would hope so :)

Opening your messaging app reveals the answer. The horrible, terrible, no-good answer. 

You: I like you. 

Innie: I would hope so :)

Seungmin. You’re going to kill him. The fanbase will understand. He’s had it coming for a while, anyway. 

Seungmin’s food burns while you’re contemplating revenge. 

He eats it without complaint. 

On screen, Princess Peach cuts in front of Wario inches away from the finish line, and Minho damn near throws his controller at you. Before you can start the typical I’m-the-Best-Bow-at-My-Feet speech, Han steps outside of his room with a guilty expression rarely seen outside courtrooms. 

“I talked to Innie,” he admits. 

Ice forms in your stomach. 

“That’s my cue,” Minho says, gets up, and retreats into his own room. Bastard. 

Han sits beside you, hanging his head so he does not have to look you in the eye. 

“Why,” you croak. 

“I thought I was being helpful! I asked if he was interested in anyone, you know, to get the ball rolling!” At that, he looks up at you, eyes almost comically wide. “But he acted like I was dumb for even asking.” 

“Why.” 

Han steamrolls on with his explanation. “I mean, no offense or anything, but you are pretty obvious about it! I thought he knew already, honestly.” 

The ice transforms into a category 5 winter storm. You had been trying not to think about that, but he’s right. Anyone with eyes can clearly see how you act around Jeongin. He must know. He’s being nice by not outright rejecting you. 

Han only coos “I’m so sorry,” tone as gentle as the hand he places on your knee, in response to your considerations.

Together, you and Han formulate A Plan. It goes like this: Forget about Your Feelings for Innie. Not that you want to, but even you have limits on how far your delusions go. 

It’s a great plan. It will work flawlessly.

The plan goes to shit the next day. 

Felix invites everyone over for a movie night at Chan and Jeongin’s dorm – artfully avoiding Changbin’s question of whether or not he actually had permission to do so. Han assures you Jeongin already has plans, so you won’t have to worry about seeing him or speaking to him or being around him at all, really. 

For some reason, Jeongin had hung up your painting in their living room, and it practically stares you down as you settle into your blankets across from it. Heaviness weighs on your body, but a night with your friends might be the distraction you need to forget about it for a while. 

Unless those friends make you talk about it. 

Halfway through the first movie, Minho, never one to beat around the bush, pauses it and says, “You look sad.” He’s met with noises of agreement from nearly everyone else.  

“I just - I don’t know what to do about Innie,” you say, unwilling to look at anyone’s face for fear of seeing your own patheticness validated. You pick a spot on the carpet and focus all your attention into picking at the fraying fibers. “I think I have to give up on him.” 

Admitting it is a weight off your shoulders and a boulder on your chest. You’ve already had this conversation with Han, but here, speaking it into a room of your closest friends, makes the words real. Too real to take back, to brush off as anything else. 

Nobody’s said anything. Usually, at this point, Hyunjin would be offering unrealistic advice, or Seungmin would be telling you nobody wants to hear it. Something’s wrong. You look up. Half the room is staring at you.

Half the room is staring behind you. 

“Ouch,” sounds from the doorway into Jeongin’s room. “Don’t give up on me yet.” His tone is lighthearted on the surface, but everyone in the room knows him well enough to hear the strain underneath it.

Every muscle in your body freezes. Unable to move, you and Felix are now locked in a horrible staring contest. He looks as scared as you feel. 

No. 

There’s no possible way to get out of this. 

No. 

It’s far too late to try to play it off as anything other than a confession. He would see straight through you. He always does when you’re lying. 

Nononono. 

How do you even explain that you’ve been unashamedly pining to the point everyone else is sick of hearing it, all to no avail? That you know he knows and now you’ve broken the silent “don’t talk about it to let her down easy” strategy he had going on. 

You cannot be here. 

You cannot turn around to face the consequences of your careless speaking. 

You cannot stay in this room, on this street, on this planet with Jeongin. 

Mechanically, on legs you pray aren’t actually shaking even though your cells are vibrating, you get to your feet. Something akin to, “Ihavetogobye,” spills out of your mouth, before you rush out the door without turning around. Without once looking back at Jeongin, or his insisting that you stay. 

Jeongin studies his members, all sitting (or – in Changbin’s case – laying across Hyunjin’s lap), all staring back at him with nearly identical pitiful expressions. After running a hand down his face, as if he could wipe away the memory of what you said, he asks the room, “Does anyone want to tell me what that was about?”

Instead of actually answering his question, Chan just responds, “Dude.” Like dominoes, most everyone echoes the sentiment, dread growing in Jeongin’s stomach after every one. Rarely is nobody willing to outright tell him what he did wrong. Usually they jump at the chance to embarrass him. 

Jeongin flops to the floor, right where you were sitting. “Dude what?,” he groans and tries to ignore the pain sprouting in his butt from his theatrics. “What did I do? Why is my girlfriend giving up on me?”

Han’s jaw audibly pops as it falls open. 

A silence unlike anything Jeongin has ever known descends upon the dorm. 

Even Hyunjin has stopped poking Changbin in the side to get a rise out of him. Jeongin is fairly certain it’s not this quiet even when nobody’s home. Once, when Chan was fed up with them, he had snapped that the next person to make a single sound would be doing everyone’s dishes for a month. This is quieter.

Seven twenty-something men collectively deciding to embody statues cannot mean anything good. They could hear a pin drop outside. 

Until Seungmin starts giggling into his palm. To his credit, he does attempt to stifle it, but his laugh practically echoes in the silence. 

Changbin begins laughing too. He rolls over to muffle the sound by hiding his face in Hyunjin’s stomach. His attempts are useless. Less than useless, because Hyunjin is ticklish and smacks him with a shriek that might be, “Stop it!” Changbin rolls back over, now nothing blocking his increase in volume. His shoulders shake the louder he gets. The whole thing only eggs Seungmin on, and soon enough, Seungmin, Changbin, Han, and Minho are in various stages of laughing at Jeongin. 

Jeongin, baffled, asks, “What is happening?” 

“Girlfriend?” Felix clarifies.

“Yes?” Jeongin feels like he’s missing a crucial piece of information. 

Seungmin’s face is lit up with pure joy. He would give kids on Christmas morning a serious run for their money. “How long,” he pauses to wipe an honest-to-God tear from his cheek. “How long has that been going on?” 

“I don’t know, a week? Maybe two?” 

“Two?” Chan chokes on the word. “Dude.” 

Jeongin has to be on the world’s worst prank show. A camera crew must be incredibly well hidden. “What is happening?” he asks again. 

Hyunjin finds his words first. “Did you ever… tell her you’re dating?” 

“Of course,” comes Jeongin’s easy reply. He bites back, What kind of question is that? 

Hyunjin’s cocked eyebrow causes him to reconsider. The dates, the gifts, the… everything. He can’t recall outright saying, “We are in an exclusive romantic relationship,” but you have to know. He asked you out! Didn’t he? Yes. He did. Weeks ago. You said yes. 

Wait. 

You said yes to him asking, “Do you want to be with me?” over pasta and, admittedly, maybe one too many glasses of wine. There’s room for misinterpretation there. Clearly. 

“Oh.” Jeongin blinks slowly. “A lot of things are starting to make sense.” 

Seungmin guffaws again. Minho mutters, “Yeah, I bet they are.” Chan looks like he’s regretting choosing Jeongin for the group. 

It’s ironic, in a way, that you end up at a familiar walking trail you and Jeongin visit often when either one of you needs fresh air. You didn’t even mean to come here, but you shut their front door behind you, and next thing you knew you’re wiping away tears and settling against a tree a short distance from the path. Wind blows through the trees, its accompanying chill biting at the wetness near your eyes. 

You can’t dodge Jeongin’s calls forever. His contact photo constantly lighting up your screen is making it incredibly hard to forget he – and by extension, your feelings currently lodging themselves squarely in your throat – exists. 

You have no right to be upset, not when you were too much of a coward to actually confess anything to him at all. Not when you willingly let every opportunity to tell him pass you up. Not when you just left. Who gives someone a painting and expects them to read four layers deep into it? Who goes to Han for rational advice?

Hell, Seungmin was the most direct with him. That’s a new low. 

Behind you, footsteps you could pick out of a lineup crunch over leaves. 

“Hey,” his voice is soft, almost lost in the breeze. Your refusal to meet his eyes doesn’t deter him, instead he just sits on the dirt across from you, the tongue of his shoe nearly touching yours. “Look at me, please.” 

He looks like he always does, and it’s a twist of the knife. Something should be different, there should be some sign advertising the loss he’s about to hand you. His oversized hoodie, his hair overdue for a trim, same softness in his eyes. So much like your Jeongin, the one you cannot reconcile with the Jeongin who knows and doesn’t love you how you want. 

But he is still your Jeongin, sweet and caring for the hard moments, so his face drops when he sees your red-rimmed eyes and wet cheeks. He takes one of your hands in his, and you let him, because this might be the last time he does. 

“I have been reliably informed that I misread what our relationship is,” he says. 

A single choked laugh escapes your throat. “I know, it’s okay. You don’t have to sugarcoat, I can handle anything you tell me.”  

“That’s not what I meant. I…” he starts, then stops again. His cheeks grow pinker by the second. He looks to the sky, then back at you. “I thought you were already my girlfriend.” 

Well. 

Almost anything. 

What? “You – what?” 

What? 

If he seemed embarrassed ten seconds ago, he does doubly so now. He’s about to start shrinking in on himself. “Please don’t make me say it again,” he groans. 

“Say it again.” You need to make sure you aren’t hearing things before getting your hopes up too much and shattering your emotions twice in a row. 

“Remember that night we went out to dinner at that Italian place?” 

Through your haze, you nod back at him. 

“I asked you to be my girlfriend that night. At least, I thought I did. Now, I don’t think that actually happened.” 

Blood roars in your ears. Your thoughts transform into TV static. “You want to date me even after everything that happened this week?” you ask through a tongue that suddenly feels too big for your mouth.

“Especially after everything that happened this week.” His answer is immediate. 

Jeongin grins tentatively and takes a risk. He scoots closer towards you, and seeing you not make to move away from him, fully commits to sit next to you, wrap his arm around you, and pull you into his side. It’s a position you’ve been in so many times before, familiar and new, but now he’s yours and you’re his, like flowers blooming intertwined.

Warmth blossoms and spreads throughout you. The cold winds don’t seem so bad anymore. You’d stay out here forever, as long as your Innie keeps holding you. As long as he keeps knowing you and loving you because of your flaws, not despite them. 

“Innie?” 

He presses a kiss into the top of your head, and you have to fight not to derail your train of thought. “We’ve been dating for a while and you never tried to kiss me?” 

He groans and lets his head drop onto the top of yours. “I thought you wanted to take it slow, I don’t know. I was trying to respect that.” 

You’ve waited long enough.

“Will you kiss me now?” 

The weight on your head disappears. You look up at him. He’s looking back at you. 

This time he doesn’t pull away or snap himself out of it. 

When he leans in and closes the gap between you, it’s absolutely nothing like you’ve dreamed about. No dream, no fantasy could compare to him, real and yours and kissing you like he won’t ever get another chance. Like he also cannot believe you’re letting him. He moves slowly, savoring your first kiss as long as possible.

Eventually, he has to pull away, keeping his eyes closed for several seconds after. He doesn’t go far, keeps his head inches away, enough to breathe without putting space between you. “D’you want to go back to the dorm?” he sighs against your lips. 

“No,” you whisper back. 

“Me neither.” 

With a relieved grin, he brings you into him again. 

everyone else stays up waiting for you two to stumble giggling back into the dorm, met with thunderous (ha) and noisy (ha ha) applause and several wolf whistles. seungmin leads them in a "jeongin! jeongin!" chant.

ily if you made it this far this was abandoned for a reason

“He asked you a question, baby girl.”

“Yes! Yes—fuck, ‘m sorry.” You whine, looking up at Jisung with pleading eyes.

“Good girl.” He coos, gently running his hands through your hair. “Now open that pretty mouth for me.” You drop your jaw, tongue lulling out on instinct. He slides in with ease, pushing down your throat until your nose kissed his small patch of pubic hair.

Jisung groaned with pleasure, his fingers tightening in your hair. Chan slammed into you hard enough your hand slipped off the side of the couch, you almost fell forward but the combination of Jisung's grip in your hair and Chan gripping your other arm and holding it behind your back kept you upright.

“Careful, sweetheart.” Chan said, almost mocking. Jisung huffed a laugh, rolling his hips and making you gag. This had become almost a ritual when Changbin wasn’t in the studio, you’d drop by for a casual visit and somehow the two of them would convince Changbin to leave so they could have their way with you—not that Changbin knew that, or so they told you.

Chan lets go of your wrist, reaching  around your waist and tracing down your abdomen before finding your clit and starting slow circles against it. The contrast of his rough thrusts and gentle teasing made your head spin—not that you could focus on anything other than Jisung’s cock tapping the back of your throat.

“F-fuck…” Jisung shutters, his cock twitching as he edged closer to release. This seemed to encourage Chan, who picked up his pace behind you—pounding into you so you were forced further into Jisung’s cock.

He came quickly after, cum shooting down your throat. You quickly swallowed down his warm release, sticking out your tongue for his inspection. 

“Channie, please!” You whine as he increases his speed over your clit, “Please can I cum? Please—fuck, please let me cum!”

“Go ahead, baby girl.” Your body shakes, the only thing keeping you upright is Chan’s arm around your waist as your orgasm crashes over you. The overstimulation set in quickly as Chan continued to pound into you.

“Ch-Channie—” You whine, struggling in his hold.

“Just a second, sweetheart. I’m almost there.”  Chan grunts, chasing his own release—fingers digging into your hips. 

“Be good for Channie, Jagi.” Jisung coos, holding your chin up to look at him. You whine, reaching up with one hand to grip his wrist, trying to ground yourself. Chan lets out a shuttered breath as he pulls out, finishing on your back as he pumps his hand over himself.

“Fuuuuck…” He groans, falling back against the couch as Jisung catches you.

“Channie…” You huff, pulling your now soiled shirt over your head, “I liked this shirt.”

“Well now you’ll like it more. ‘Cause every time you wear it…” He moves closer to you, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulling you to lean against him. “You’ll think about this.”

You wriggle out of his hold, “Chan, I need to change—before Binnie comes back and I have to explain why I’m shirtless.”

“Here, Jagi.” Jisung hands you his hoodie as you pull up your sweatpants, sans-underwear as Chan had literally ripped them off you. Just as you saw Jisung tucking the shredded pink panties into his pocket, the door to the studio swung open.

Changbin gave everyone a weird look as all of you looked towards him, “What? Miss me that much?”

“These two are a bore without you.” You grin, walking over and pinching Changbin’s cheek. He brushes you off with a short laugh. “But I have to run, I’ll see you boys later.” And you slip out the door.

Changbin whirled around to his members, both looking the picture of innocence—though Chan sold it better. “Again? Are you fucking serious?” Changbin groans, flopping down on the desk chair.

“Can you blame us?” Chan grins.

“You could at least let me fucking watch, you assholes.” He rolls his eyes.

“We’re working her up to it.” Jisung hangs on the back of Changbin’s chair, “Soon, we promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

sorry this one was so short but i hope you enjoyed <3

requests are always open!

pairing: bang chan + female oc

wc: 70.4k (ongoing)

chapters: 14/?

tags:9th member fanfic, female original character, friends to lovers, pinning, a little of unrequited love, bang chan is bad at feelings, bad communication (we need to learn how to communicate better!), fluff and angst, implied minsung, angst with a happy ending, time skips (a lot of them), jealousy, bang chan is jealous a lot in this, so is the oc, oc dates around, idols, kpop industry sucks, bang chan is overworked, korean military enlistment is mentioned, oc is older than chan, johnny sue is mentioned, slow burn, im bad at tags but im trying, my first post in ao3, my first skz fanfic, just for funzies

a/n: ANNDDDD the fun begins. after this, its like the second part of the story and that's the one i'm most excited about!!! writing in english has been such a fun and demanding challenge, i hope whoever is reading this enjoys my story as much as i enjoy writing it :)

it would have been fine, if you weren’t so clueless. you took his actions as nothing more than him being friendly, and comfortable with you and sure - you both dated other people, but he’d made it abundantly clear to every woman in his life that you came first in the peking order. naturally, this didn’t make them stay long.

he had a deep, twisted sort of obsession when it came to you, constantly needing you close, wanting to hold you, smell you, caress you in anyway possible. you let him, of course - you were a sweet little thing, you always assumed it was normal despite everyone in your life questioning it. you were asked a million times a week whether you and jungkook were dating to which you’d always tilt your head, mumbling out a confused no. whenever he was asked, he’d simply smirk, and shrug his shoulders, playing the ambiguity card.

you weren’t sly, however. he could see right through you. no matter how innocent you’d act, he knew you enjoyed the attention, craved it and needed it in a way that resembled himself - you were a mere reflection of one another. he had just come to understand his feelings first.

y/n and jungkook, a simple pair. you couldn’t find one without the other, and despite him being the openly touchy and expressive one out of you both, the only person who thought it was friendly was you. the irony was, you knew deep down it was all a facade you were keeping up in hopes he would never stop. it felt too good to change the game now.

even now, jungkook knocked on your door at 2 in the morning, hair messy, coming from one of the libraries after a long PHD study session. you sleepily rose from your bed, already half way to dreamland as you lazily opened the door. though you weren’t expecting him, you knew it could only be him knocking.

“did i wake you?” he murmured quietly as you yawned against the door, letting him in.

he walked in, placing his bag and shoes by the entrance whilst he watched you sleepily turn back to your bedroom. “mm, but it’s okay.”

he followed you in, watching you snuggle back against your pillow. “scoot over.”

you did exactly that, shuffling, watching as he joined you in your bed, taking over a large majority of the space. you groaned a little as his hands found your hips, large fingers pressing into your skin whilst he pulled you into his chest with utter ease.

“smell good.” you purred, curling your face into his neck. he felt himself visibly relax, breathing in the scent of your hair.

“it’s the cologne you got me.” he murmured down at you.

you groaned in response, pleased at his answer.

if anyone were to see you both right now, the last possible thing they’d ever assume you to be was friends and yet here you were. best friends, even, through thick and thin. you’d learnt not to question jungkook’s wandering hands, how it brushed your ass every time he ran it up and down your back. he, in return, didn’t question you on the way you’d steal his clothes, curling into them whilst demanding to lay on his chest, wrapped tightly in his thick biceps. a mutual understanding, if you will.

“hey, we’re still on for tomorrow right? jimin’s party?” he whispered down, causing a subtle shiver down to go down your neck.

you huffed a little. “yes. now shut up, i’m sleepy.”

he grinned at that, bunny teeth sinking into his bottom lip before he pressed quick peck to the top of your head, finding himself joining you into dreamland.

—

you could hear the boom of jimin’s house minutes before you’d even arrived, offering a look over at your best friend yejin who was a giggling mess at the back seat of the uber. the blonde haired boy was notorious for his gatherings, unlimited alcohol thanks to his connections, and a gathering of people that rivalled multiple parties combined. he was a self proclaimed man of the people, offering his large home as a service to society. or so he claimed.

you slipped out once you’d arrived, pulling the hem of your tiny little dress down. the vibe for tonight was to have fun, find someone, get drunk, get ruined all before cosying back up in your warm, big bed. it didn’t feel like too much to ask for, and jimin’s party was the prime location to do it.

you followed yejin inside the too large house, immediately saying hi to people upon your arrival. within minutes, you’d both done your round, and you were finally walking up to your friends who were all mingling in the kitchen.

“hi.” you squealed at the sight of your party host, who grinned widely before giving you a big hug. “having fun so far?”

“jimin, this is insane.” you laughed, taehyung wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “more than insane, should of seen what happened 20 minutes ago, some girl slapped her boyfriend for flirting with someone else.”

“yeah well, had to try out do the other one.” jimin quipped, referencing his previous gatherings whilst already preparing you a drink.

“the fact you’ve managed that is insane.” yejin grimaced whilst taking a sip of the concoction yoongi had prepared.

your eyes flickered to the tall, tatted boy stood by the wall, back pressed against the surface. a loose tshirt sat on his figure, and though it shielded you from seeing the hard panels on his body, the sheer expanse of his shoulders were enough to have your legs move towards him within seconds.

jungkook was staring at you, gaze as intense as ever. his tongue draped over his bottom lip momentarily, wetting it at the mere sight of you. “hi.” he murmured down at you, lowering his head so his lips would graze your ear just slightly.

a shiver went down your spine. your fingers reached for his stomach, clutching his top gently. “already drinking? thought you’d wait for me.”

“been nursing it. don’t drink that.” he moved the cup jimin had given you out of your hand, preparing one for you instead. he was possessive like that, small acts that you could never pin point.

“hm? this tastes good.” you hummed, resting against him.

his arm slipped around your waist, done too casually despite the weight of it on your body. his eyes wandered over the tiny dress you were wearing, eyebrows furrowing.

“is this new?”

you peered up. “yeah! you like it?” you twirled a little, his arm loosening slightly. “got it today, yejin said it makes my legs look good.”

he grunted, half in appreciation and other half in annoyance that your mutual friend had you dressing in such a risqué dress. the thought of other men noticing you enraged him, in a way that wasn’t normal; not that he gave a fuck.

“i do like it. aren’t you cold?” he asked with narrowed eyes, hand returning to the bottom of your back.

you grinned into your cup, tilting your head. “that’s what you’re for, duh.”

at that, a smirk formed in his lips, the thought of you needing him in a way he was only more than happy to be was comforting to his obsessive brain.

the two of you muttered away, hidden away in a corner whilst your friends chatted around you. to the naked eye, you both appeared to be much more than the best friends you claimed to be. with your hands curled onto him, feeling his abs and hard chest under his clothes whilst his own were wandering up and down your back, often dipping low enough to touch your ass.

it didn’t register in your head that this wasn’t a normal thing. that friends shouldn’t touch each other so intimately, especially not ones that were as close as you and jungkook. the mask of friendship acted as a guide for you both, offering a rope of direction despite both of you often letting go, making your own decisions that completely disregarded what was supposed to be.

“gonna go to the bathroom.” you groaned suddenly.

jungkook had been stood in front of you, leaned over so you were caged against the wall, forcing you to push his chest lightly. “want me to come with?”

“what, so you can watch me piss? does that get you off?” you teased, watching as he rolled his eyes.

his tongue pushed against his cheek. “yeah, yeah, hurry up. i’ll hold your drink.”

you giggled to yourself, loving how riled up he’d get at a mere poke or jab, before sliding out of his grip, feeling his fingers tighten against you before letting go. jungkook watched you walk away, greedily taking in every inch of skin he could get. from your legs to your arms, the way your ass looked so fucking good in that dress. he let out a quiet groan.

you walked up the stairs, avoiding the moans emitting from different rooms like the plague. slipping into the bathroom, you quickly did your business before looking in the mirror whilst washing your hands. the alcohol had allowed for a flush against your cheeks and your pupils were dilated, you felt a rush all over your body. tonight was supposed to be chill, but the air felt electric.

you weren’t sure if it was the music, the amount of people or even the selection of drinks - but you felt slightly out of it. you shook your head, forcing yourself to stay present again before you began walking back to your best friend, almost too excitedly.

unfortunately for you, by the time you were slipping back into the kitchen, your tatted friend wasn’t there anymore, with hobi letting you know he’d gone into the main foyer. you, of course, listened and snuck between multiple people, exploring the house in a bid to find jungkook.

you huffed a little, realising he wasn’t there either. curse jimin, you thought, who needed a house this big anyway? your legs travelled around the expanse of the house, feeling slightly annoyed at the loss of your best friend who was usually stuck to your hip. you knew he preferred to stick together on nights like this, so you weren’t sure where he could be.

your legs took you to the living room, finding him leaning towards a corner which made your head tilt slightly, walking over immediately only to be stopped in your tracks the second you realised what was going on.

he had a girl in front of him, tall and leggy, and it took you no time to figure out who it was. yuna. his on and off ex of two years, toxic as could be, the one woman in the entire world you truly couldn’t stand whatsoever. unbeknownst to you, everytime you’d get into a relationship or begin seeing anyone, jungkook would return to her as a distraction, in hopes of making you jealous, to evoke any emotion he physically could. was it healthy? certainly not, but he didn’t really care for anyone that wasn’t you anyway.

you weren’t privy to this information, which meant your disdain for the frankly horrible woman felt unfounded. you felt guilty whenever you’d think about it, knowing you didn’t like her simply because she had jungkook when he felt more yours than anyone else’s, not that you could ever discuss that with anyone. you huffed at the sight, arms crossed whilst staring right at them.

you both had made a pact. you’d broken up with your ex boyfriend a few months ago, and at the time you felt like it was potentially a mistake, but jungkook had talked you out of it. said if you don’t go back, he wouldn’t go back to his ex either and selfishly, you knew that was what you wanted. yeah, you might have missed your ex, but the secret possibility of having him all to yourself was too much not to indulge in. seeing him now, however, had you drowning in annoyance.

yuna’s gaze flickered over jungkook’s shoulder, noticing you stood a few metres away looking at them openly. she wasn’t very fond of you either. it was hard to stomach the fact she would always be second in jungkook’s eyes, if even that, compared to the best friend he kept so closely to him. you could call and he’d drop the entire world to be by your side, so it made her bitter, naturally. seeing you stood there, visibly losing in comparison to her made a small smirk form as she tilted her head upwards to look at jungkook, her hands suddenly sliding all over his chest and shoulders.

you scoffed, deciding you’d had enough as you turned on your heel and exited the room with a grumble. if he wanted her so bad, he could have her, you didn’t care. he wasn’t allowed to come back to yours after though, a broken promise is still a broken promise and you held a grudge like no one else.

“now what’s got you frowning at a party like this?” jin questioned as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, seemingly appearing out of no where as you trudged to the kitchen to get drunk.

“nothing. it’s stupid.” you shook your head.

“probably, but if it’s upset you, let’s talk.”

you sighed, as you grabbed the bottle of vodka, making a concoction you knew would be too strong for you to handle. you were a lightweight after all. “jungkook’s in a corner getting all close with yuna.”exess

“stupid boy.” he shook his head. “are you upset because you don’t like seeing them together?” he asked, leaning against the fridge, watching as yoongi and jimin walked in, seemingly with the same idea as you.

“what..no it’s not that.” your cheeks flushed, a cheeky grin forming on his face that jimin was beginning to rival, understanding the context of the conversation immediately. “yeah? why you getting all red then?” the younger man teased.

“shut up.” you hissed, making him throw his hands up.

“okay. let’s say for arguments sake you’re not jealous, are you really gonna let that something as silly as that ruin your night?” jin asked, bumping your hip whilst making his own drink. “you can’t let his bad decisions dictate how you feel, enjoy yourself.”

“god. boring. don’t listen to him, y/n.” jimin huffed, grabbing your arms and twirling you a little. “don’t get upset. get even.”

“huh?” yoongi asked, eyes narrowing. “okay, feels like it goes without saying that you shouldn’t listen to jimin right now.”

you were intrigued, however. “what do you mean?” you asked, peering at him.

“get even.” he reiterated with a smirk. “gotta play him by his own game.”

“yeah, well, it’s not like my ex is here.” you grumbled at him, taking a sip of your too harsh drink, making you wince. jin tutted, stealing it out of your hand and making you another, more appropriate one.

jimin’s smirk could have rivaled the cheshire cat, with the way it pinned to either side of his face, clearly loving this game. he knew about jungkook’s feelings for you, and about the hidden feelings you could barely admit to yourself - wasn’t it time he had some fun, and made sure progress was being made?

“ah, but i have something better.” he tutted, leading you out to the entrance of the kitchen so you could look out all of the people here. “so many eligible bachelors. why go for something you’re used to, when you could try something new?”

you pondered his words whilst you heard yoongi groan, taking the drink jin was preparing for you and downing it himself.

soon enough, you had found yourself the perfect man. you couldn’t really remember his name, jaehoon, jaehyun, something along those lines - not that it really mattered. he was the right fit for what you needed. you flirted in a way you knew worked best, eyelashes fluttering and a few casual touches here and there, he was practically smitten by the end.

you’d even gotten up to dance, his hands travelling all over the expanse of your stomach, your hips and hair. he was letting you know exactly what he felt and what he was thinking through his eager touch. normally, you’d feel disgusted, you weren’t someone that revelled in attention like this but it was hard to think when you were being guided by jealousy.

“wanna get out of here?” he whispered down at you, voice heavy with intent.

at first, you faltered, as though ice water had been splashed onto your face, suddenly aware of what you were doing. one look upwards and you noticed jungkook wasn’t even around you, and for some stupid reason you couldn’t rationalise, it made you angry. he broke the pact. he had you walking around the party looking for him. him and his touches, wandering hands and fleeting looks - you knew friends didn’t do that, but it was jungkook. it was okay if it was him, you preferred it even, and yet here you stood, about to make the biggest mistake of your life out of pure ego.

“yeah.” you huffed a little, carried away by your thoughts.

the man in front of you couldn’t believe his luck, you were easily one of the prettiest girls at the whole party and entirely out of his league so he wasn’t about to waste a single minute. he took your hand, smirk big whilst leading you through the house, and towards the door.

you passed some of your friends, who were all looking at you inquisitively, managing to get to the foyer before you were so rudely stopped by a hand yanking your own away from his grip.

“what the fuck are you doing?” jungkook appeared, chest big and shoulders as wide as they could be.

he was inching towards the shorter man, eyes narrowed dangerously as though something completely unfathomable was taking place in front of him.

“who are you?” his eyebrows narrowed. “let go.” you hissed at the same time, yanking your hand out of his grip.

he turned to you, eyebrows furrowing in half confusion and annoyance. “what, you’re gonna leave with this guy? are you fucking stupid?”

“what’s it to you?” your eyes were matching his in emotion, whilst the man beside you watched you both in confusion. “listen, man, she told me she was single..”

“yeah, well she’s not.” he broke eye contact; facing him once more. “touch my girl again and i’ll fucking kill you.”

that was all he needed to hear; backing down immediately and all but scurrying away. jungkook was very well known, he had a presence that made most men uncomfortable, a cocktail mix of strength and anger that anyone would shy away from. it was secretly one of your favourite things about him, you were convinced he was invincible - the thought of him being able to protect you so thoroughly had butterflies erupting in your stomach.

“jungkook.” you hissed once more, anger bubbling in your stomach.

he didn’t bother to respond, grabbing you by your hips and pushing you almost harshly against the wall, secretly making sure your head didn’t bang. “what was that? leaving with some guy, you don’t even know who he was.”

“would it have been better if it was someone i knew, then?” you scoffed, hands gripping his shirt where his hardened chest sat beneath, pushing him away though he didn’t budge whatsoever. stupid, concrete body.

his eyes were darker than you’d ever seen them. “you don’t fucking leave with anyone that isn’t me, you hear me?”

you rolled your eyes. “you don’t get to act all innocent with me, i’m surprised you’re not upstairs with yuna right now.”

“what are you talking about?”

“i saw you, so don’t even bother.” you huffed, pushing him by his chest once more only for him to grab your hands, pinning them to the wall above you.

“yeah? tell me what you saw, hm.” he darkly whispered down at you. “did you hear what we were talking about, or are you jumping to conclusions?”

you wiggled slightly, his chest now all but pressed against yours. this position was entirely indecent, and if either of you were more aware of your surroundings, you’d be thankful that everyone was currently too drunk to notice you.

“you said you wouldn’t talk to her anymore, that was the pact.” you hissed. “you promised and now you’ve broken it, so i can do whatever i want, you don’t get to dictate my decisions.”

he scoffed in your face, and your eyes widened lightly at the mere audacity, wiggling again against his grip. all this was doing was pushing your body tighter against him.

“you know, if you had stuck around longer than 5 seconds you would have actually heard what we were talking about.” he all but grumbled. “she approached me, wouldn’t leave me alone, i’ve spent the last 15 minutes telling her to fuck off, that i’ve only got my eyes on one girl, only have time for you.”

you stopped wiggling, his words hitting you one after the other.

“imagine my fucking surprise when i try find you, only to find some fuck leading you out of this place.” his face was dangerously close to yours. “what were you planning, y/n? trying to get me angry? was that your game plan?”

you didn’t respond, nervously keeping eye contact. your thighs were pressed against each other tightly, a sick part of you enjoying this more than anything, the way he was being a little rougher with you whilst still being protective - it made your brain sing.

“and what would you have done once you were both alone, hm? he wanted to fuck you.” he growled harshly, making you grumble under your breath. “you think a guy like that is worth fucking?”

“okay, fine, i shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. but you still broke the pact.” you weakly pushed back, your ego too high to let him win.

jungkook knew it, knew the only reason you’d gone so far was out of jealousy and it made his heart clench harshly - it felt fucking incredible. his girl, his y/n, so bothered at the sight of another woman staking their claim on him that you’d become this blind? if only you knew the way he had shut yuna down, leaving the girl practically in tears after he explained how deeply his heart and brain were intertwined into you - that he’d take morsels from you if it meant being close to you, whilst he wouldn’t even look at her twice even if she’d offer herself whole. he knew it was cruel, but in that moment, when all he wanted to do was return to you, he hardly cared.

“yeah, i did.” he murmured after a moment, slowly easing your hands back down from the wall, now pushing them back onto his chest. he could feel your fingers pulling at the fabric of his t-shirt once more. “forgive me, baby. swear my intentions were good.”

you nibbled on your bottom lip. he was still so close, his nose bumped against yours gently, “fine.” you huffed a little, despite one of your hands drawling down to his stomach, feeling the tightness of his abs beneath.

he dipped his head so your cheeks were pressing together, his lips ghosting against your ear. “now, stay with me for the rest of the night. next man i see touching you, i’ll fuck up.”

and as you both walked away, you sported a triumph grin, not only having jungkook possessively lead you to a spot on the couch, but also have his wandering hand go from your hip to firmly grabbing your ass.

—

“how much longer?” jungkook groaned alongside yoongi, who sat beside him, arms crossed and eyes closed.

the two men were sat within the confinements of what felt like a jail, but was actually a mere clothing department. surrounded by pretty dresses and a flourish of colours, the pair felt utterly out of place, dragged here by either girl. yoongi and yejin had a weird back and forth that had been building for years, incredibly similar to your own relationship with jungkook? the difference between you, however, was they at least tried to be subtle for the sake of appearances.

“god, just wait, you’re both so impatient.” yejin huffed, whilst you both chatted away in your respective dressing rooms. “i don’t know about this one.” you murmured, loud enough for jungkook to pick up on the slight tinge of anxiety in your voice.

“come out, y/n.” he gently coaxed, noticing your feet from underneath nervously shuffling.

you did exactly that, however, your hair pulled up into a messy ponytail that he couldn’t tear his eyes away from.

“wait let me see too!” yejin excitedly rushed out, the lilac tone of her dress catching yoongi’s attention.

jungkook couldn’t look away from you. a sweet grey dress that hugged every inch of you - from where it sat on your calf to the way it dipped in at your waist. it felt like your legs went on for days, your breasts accentuated. you were perfection in a bottle, and the fact you weren’t sure drove him insane.

“i really like that, actually. you look nice.” yoongi nodded in approval, yejin walking over and adjusting the straps. “oh, you are so getting this. you look hot.”

you looked over at jungkook. it was his opinion you really wanted, and you knew it wasn’t healthy, but you craved his thoughts the most. he was soaking you in hungrily, eyes dark and legs parted slightly, causing you to flicker down secretly. he was enamoured by you.

“i like it.” he grumbled. “i like it too much.”

your cheeks flushed a little, pleased with your best friend’s approval. “you sure kookie? just think this grey is too moody for a wedding, and maybe it’s too tight?”

“it’s perfect. i’m wearing black, so we’ll match.” he shook his head. yejin grinned to herself before flaunting her outfit towards yoongi who was equally as enamoured.

“ooh, are you wearing that suit we got together at the start of the year?” you excitedly asked, shuffling over to him. you were now in front of him, his legs parted as he leaned back in his chair, your body inbetween.

he was taking you in, openly. from your eyes to your lips, lips to your neck, neck to your boobs and downwards. he couldn’t get enough.

“mm, yeah. remember you saying how much you liked it.” his hands were touching you now, on your hips, sliding over the material hungrily. “i really do.” you admitted, a small, too cheeky grin forming on your face.

yejin had returned to her dressing room now, you promptly doing the same, jungkook’s hands falling off of your body, watching the dress pool at your feet from the bottom of the door. he spread his legs a little wider, accommodating for the already growing nature of his length.

“hey, you guys joining us for dinner?” yoongi asked him quietly, watching as yejin walked out, hands playing with her hair. “dunno man, might have to pass, she’s kinda tired so thought i’d take her home.”

he nodded, watching as you too came out. jungkook admired you whilst you both said your goodbyes, soon enough standing in front of him, in between his legs slightly, like before. “you don’t have to come with me if you’re hungry, kookie, i don’t mind making my own way back.”

he scoffed, whilst standing, height towering over you immediately. “gotta take my girl home, hm?”

you didn’t want to admit the pounding that formed in your chest at his words and the ease in which he said them in. he took a hold of your hand, both protective and possessive whilst leading you to the counter, not sparing you a single glance as he paid for your dress. you had known him long enough to know he’d sooner die than let you pay for anything, another thing that had you kicking your legs and screaming into your pillow.

“wait, can we go to yours instead? just remembered my house is a mess and i don’t wanna deal with that right now.” groaning into his arm whilst you walked beside him, peering up with big, hopeful eyes.

jungkook wanted to scream. as if he could say no to you.

“mm, sure. you left your stuff from last time too in case you want to shower.”

you grinned wide at the confirmation. “hm, maybe i’ll have a bath.”

within the next half hour, you were in jungkook’s bath, soapy bubbles covering your naked body whilst you hummed in delight, candles littered everywhere to create some sort of ambience. you loved coming to his place, it was much bigger and warmer than your own apartment. his scent was also everywhere, which made your brain keen.

“you hungry?” jungkook called out from the kitchen, prepared to make you a whole ass meal at your mere confirmation.

you were away with the fairies, too cozied up in the warm water and scented bubbles to even begin to hear him. jungkook frowned, realising you hadn’t responded, making him walk towards the closed door, knocking lightly and asking again.

in return, all he got was a slight hum, as though you were confused of what he was asking. without thinking, the door was already being pushed open, revealing you.

your hair was pulled up in a cute little bun, whilst your knees propped up in the water, the only sliver of skin jungkook could see whilst the rest of your body lay hidden underneath the expanse of bubbles. he watched as you peered up at him lazily, as though this was the most normal thing in the world - as though friends were supposed to walk in on each other naked.

“what did you say?” you murmured up at him whilst exhaling a little, seemingly content.

his lip quirked upwards slightly, whilst his cock thumped against the expanse of his boxers and jeans angrily. if you shifted, just slightly, just a little…

“asking if you’re hungry.” his voice has become rough, causing your eyes to flicker over to him, before slowly trailing down, noticing the way he was evidently hard.

in all honesty, you’d noticed it constantly. whether it was you waking up to his morning wood pressed tightly against you, or whether it was at parties where you’d sit on his lap only to be left with a core aching for something you weren’t sure you’d ever get.

“not really. this feels too good to leave.” a sigh left your lips dramatically, making him crouch beside you, his hand dipping in the water slightly to feel the temperature. “that does feel good.” he confirmed.

“i even put the salt thing you bought for me. feels so nice.”

if jungkook was any other man, he wouldn’t have been able to pick up on the secretive tone you were using. but, alas, he knew you better than you knew yourself, which meant he could recognise the teasing tilt to your voice with ease. you were enjoying this. you liked seeing him rock hard for you, and judging from the way your eyes kept flickering down, you were just as needy.

“yeah? mind if i join you, baby? wanna see what’s got you like this.” he was suddenly so close to your face; watching the way your pupils were dilating, your eyelids hooding whilst you offered a little nod, almost delirious.

hungrily, you watched him. he discarded his top, his jeans. he made sure your eyes were connected as he was left with his boxers, his length imprinted against the thin material, watching the way your gaze flickered down almost hungrily.

“make some room.”

it was though you were taken out of your trance, slowly pulling yourself to the corner of the massive bathtub whilst he himself got in, his boxers sat on the floor of the bathroom. jungkook rested against the opposite side of you, his back against the tub whilst you did the same, the bubbles mostly hiding you.

him, however - no he was a different story. his cock sat heavy against his stomach, pink and long, thicker than anything you’d ever seen before. it looked angry, the way it was twitching, hard and begging to be touched, visible to his sweet best friend.

he watched as you stared, little gasps leaving your mouth as you hungrily took him in. you weren’t hiding it, something he appreciated greatly.

the problem with your shared dynamic was that neither of you were shy about how you felt, making it clear to the world whilst never discussing it to one another, leaving you in this tension filled relationship where you both wanted each other in a way that felt stifling.

jungkook watched the way your chest and rose and fell, hints of your pebbled nipples coming to the surface before being hidden away once more.

“you were right. does feel good.” he casually murmured, wet hands running through his hair to keep it out of his face, as though his cock wasn’t leaking pre cum in front of you.

you weren’t sure what to say, core thumping and begging for something, anything.

he smirked slightly. “but colder than i expected.” your eyes looked up at his voice, finally listening again. “c-cold?”

“yeah. warm me up?” he tilted his head, watching as your body moved before you could even think.

you moved towards him, water sloshing, not that either of you cared, so your back was now suddenly against his chest, your naked bodies curling into one another with ease. your nudity wasn’t an issue for you, and certainly not for him, but the second you moved, you hadn’t realised this meant the bubbles were now moving away from you too.

your visibly naked body pressed against him, whilst his arm curled around you. he could see your breasts, the way they jolted with every move, causing his cock to twitch much to your non-secret enjoyment.

“feels better.” he breathed down at you, air tickling your ear, making you curl further into him. your hands were against him, one on his chest and the other at his side under the water, but your gaze had fallen directly onto his cock once more.

“pretty.” you whispered up at him. his ego was beyond anything at the minute. what do you mean his pretty little best friend was perched, naked on his chest, admiring his fat length?

he nuzzled your nose, almost condescendingly with his own, eyes dark and dilated to match your own. “yeah? you like it?”

you nodded, curling into him further whilst one of your hands drew circles against his stomach, dangerously close to where it sat. you weren’t as innocent as you looked, and jungkook fucking loved it.

his own hand curled tighter against you, fingers touching just above where your own pussy sat. “been like this since the dress shop. you looked so pretty.”

the way he was cooing at you had your eyes fluttering shut for a moment, a small grin beginning to form. “i’m happy you liked my dress.”

“i fucking loved it.” he scoffed, drawing his own circles against you. “always look so beautiful.”

the ending of his sentence was whispered down at you, as though they were words too big for either of you to hear. it did nothing to stop your grin from growing, giggling a little into him as you nuzzled closer to his chest, your fingers brushing against his cock more openly.

you watched as it twitched, whilst his own hand was beginning to fall forwards, almost cupping your heat entirely.

“kookie…” you began, nibbling down your bottom lip as you nervously looked up at him. “can..can i?”

instead of responding, jungkook took his free hand and took your own, pulling it up to his lips to plant pepper kisses all over it. your eyes were batting up at him, enjoying the affection and attention beyond anything you could ever describe, before watching him take your hand, and slowly wrap it around his dick.

your little gasp nearly had him bucking up into your hand. the way it couldn’t wrap around fully, your fingers much smaller than his and yet you wasted no time, beginning to pump him slowly, up and down.

“you’re so thick.” your voice was filled with awe, and again, his ego felt like it was about to sky rocket. jungkook wanted to close his eyes, relish the pleasurable feeling of you exploring him for the first time like he had dreamt of on so many occasions. and yet, he couldn’t look away from you, the way your eyes were hooded and your hands were moving up and down in pure intrigue. it made him want to ruin you.

“my turn.” he whispered in your ear, making you shiver. his hand that was grazing against you, now moved purposefully. jungkook ran two fingers up your slit, groaning a little at how wet you felt. despite the water growing colder each passing minute, you both felt on fire.

you let out a breathy moan, head pressing against jungkook’s cheeks as your legs opened up for him, the two of you peering up at one another.

“prettiest pussy i’ve ever seen.” he huffed through a moan, your hand moving up and down his length. your faces were turned to one another, breaths mingling as your lips sat dangerously close.

god, you were so beautiful. jungkook couldn’t get over the hazy look in your eyes, the way your gaze only ever looked away to look at your hand pumping him, or his own fingers moving against you.

a loud moan left your lips once you felt jungkook push a finger in, deep and full. he wasn’t waiting for you to adjust, merely pumping it with a curled edge, hitting you exactly where you needed it. your forehead now touched his own as you adjusted your body, giving him more access whilst you too sped up your actions.

neither of you could look away, pleasuring one another as though it was the most natural thing on earth, both yearning to kiss each other and yet there still seemed to be an air of uncertainty. soon enough, he added another finger, watching as your mouth fell open and eyes shut tight.

“cmon, baby, want your eyes on me.” he whispered against you, pressing too gentle kisses to your face, making you whimper and nod whilst doing exactly that.

your hands were sloppy, almost unsure of yourself as the pleasure raked up and down your body. fortunately for you, jungkook was of the opinion you didn’t need to ever work, the concept both foreign and offensive to his mind. his hand darted out, taking a hold of your own on his cock and guided you, taking control of you whilst also fingering you, actions growing harsher.

“fuck. a pussy like this needs to be ruined. look at you; just begging to be stretched out.” his words were pounding in your brain. “bet you can’t think unless you’re leaking cum.”

you stretched your legs impossibly wider, water sloshing around you as you nodded along to his words, feeling them in the pit of your stomach. you wanted that so badly.

“jungkook, i can’t..” the moans you were letting out were loud and bouncing off of the walls of the bathroom, whilst you both grew more and more erratic.

his fingers ploughed into you, in and out, curling right against that singular spot that had you arching your back into him whilst he helped you fist his cock.

“you can.” he hissed, biting your jaw, leaving hickeys against your neck and jawline as though he had every right. “wanna feel you cum for me, sweet girl. hm? so good to me, just letting my ruin your little pussy. who does it belong to?”

“you.” you responded almost instantly, back arching as you felt something grow in the pit of your stomach. “all yours, kookie, always.”

he nodded, forcing you to look at him as he too could feel his orgasm approaching. your words were like a drug to him, feeding ever warped belief he’d ever thought. you were both on the edge, so close, so ready to break, feeling higher than ever in one another’s arms.

he pulled you in suddenly, fingers leaving your core and dropping your hand away from his own cock. you wanted to whine until you realised what he was doing, positioning your body on top of him so he could slide his cock between your slit, pushing the tip into your tight hole.

“you’re going to cum on my cock, y/n. you hear me? gonna fill you up, make sure it fucking sticks.” his words were so dark, so possessive and yet they bounced around your brain in mere pleasure.

your body was shaking, he was a tight fit, but he wasted no time, only managing to fit the tip and an extra inch inside before roughly thrusting inside of you, building on both of your impending orgasms. if you thought his fingers felt good, the painful stretch of only a part of his cock had you screaming into his face. he couldn’t stop, his hands harsh and leaving bruises on your ass as he clutched, chasing both of your orgasms. neither of you were thinking clearly, which caused jungkook to lean even closer and press his lips tightly to yours.

your brain blanked.

the movement of his lips, the way your mouths moved in unison hungrily, both of your hands moving against one another was enough to finally push you over the edge.

your legs shook whilst jungkook came too, a loud grunt leaving his lips as ropes of cum painted your walls, whilst you cried out in pleasure, the too harsh coil bursting all over your body.

you felt like you were on cloud nine, and once you had finally come down for your high, you realise you were perhaps out out of it for longer than you’d realised. your back was against jungkook’s, his arm around your waist whilst the shower head above washed both of your bodies. your legs felt weak and hard to stand on, but his grip was tight and made you steady.

“you okay?” he gently murmured down at you, with a small kiss to your forehead, causing you to nod with a little curl. “i feel so good.” you hummed, aching core a reminder of his love for you.

“good. did so good for me, sweet girl. fingered all that cum back in you too, so it’s all inside.”

his words would have scared any other girl, and yet here you were, quietly giggling to yourself like he had just said the most romantic thing on earth.

you reached over so you were turned in his arms, pressing your cheek to his chest, feeling entirely dwarfed in this position and yet it was exactly what you needed. the grin on jungkook’s lips rivalled that of a cheshire cat.

“cmon, let’s get you fed.”

the rest of the day was spent with you sat in jungkook’s arms, continuing your usual routine. you’d always been touchy, holding one another, nuzzling in one another’s neck and cuddling but this? no, this was completely different.

he had you sat on the counter whilst he cooked for you, shirtless, feeding you spoonfuls whilst he kept a hand on you at all times. later, he fed you from his lap, making sure you were full and satiated. once you were done, you both popped on a movie, watching until you felt sleepy, his arms carrying you to his bed. you slept good that night, feeling protected as you curled into jungkook’s arms, biceps wrapped around you and his fat cock hidden away in your gummy walls.

though neither of you rushed to talk about what had happened, you almost didn’t feel the need to. jungkook was yours, he always had been, and yeah you didn’t have a label, but you weren’t sure anything could accurately describe what he was to you anyway.

you fell asleep in the arms of the only man you’d ever truly cared about, body and soul, heart and mind.

—

you loved weddings more than anything else on earth. to be around people expressing joy for shared love felt pure in the sweetest of ways, and it was always an honour you held deep in your heart whenever you were invited.

you sat on a table with all of your friends. jungkook sat behind you and jimin to your right, the circular table wide and chatty, laughing with one another and clapping your hands excitedly when namjoon made his toast.

ever since that night with jungkook, things had changed. not in a bad way, oh contraire - his lips would often find your own in a sweet embrace, fleeting but gentle, his hands wandering inappropriately in their usual fashion but now it held more weight. you’d lost count on how many times he’d cum inside of you, it slowly becoming an addiction for you - you couldn’t function if he wasn’t inside you in some way. it was like a switch had shifted in both of your brains and it made you realise you didn’t want to pretend anymore, you liked his attention, yearned for it, wanted more and more and more.

you hadn’t seen him for a few days which felt like a lifetime, but your exams and your part time job kept you away from him, not that this was a deterrent. he’d send you videos you know you’d giggle at, or facetime you like he typically would. it felt different, the air had changed, and you found yourself longing for something you knew you could have.

jungkook had picked you up from yejin’s apartment, some of the other guys coming with too so you could all attend together, and he could have sworn you’d stolen his breath then and there. he’d seen you dressed for parties, or even half naked, but it didn’t compare to seeing you now. elegance dripped from every inch of you, your dress from the shop he’d bought you adorned on your body and your hair pulled back in a sweet bun, wispy pieces adorning your face. he was wearing the suit you loved so much, and the both of you couldn’t help but grin at one another.

on the ride there, the both of you sat in the back of yoongi’s car. his hand was against your thigh, possessive and meaningful and you found yourself playing with his fingers almost excitedly. you liked how visibly he wanted the world to know you belonged to him. made you feel good.

walking in, you weren’t sat together for the ceremony, with jungkook being further down in the row whilst you and yejin sat separately from the boys, much to his disappointment. this proved beneficial when he realised his position allowed for direct access to you, watching you greedily as he took you in. he couldn’t help but notice how many of the groomsmen were eyeing you up, and it made him clench his teeth but he remained quiet. a problem he’d deal with later.

the bride soon walked in, a vision in white, and jungkook watched the way your eyes utterly lit up, a little gasp leaving you. his gaze was hungry, obsessive, he couldn’t look away even if he wanted to - the way your small hands were clutched by your chest as though the mere sight of the bride had hearts pooling at your stomach. you wanted to be a bride? done, he’d get you a ring first thing tomorrow.

he was being quiet tonight, and despite now being sat behind you at the table, he’d not talked to you much. you were a slight over thinker, so you were assuming it might have been the environment, maybe he was uncomfortable at weddings? he didn’t seem uptight or anything, merely contemplative, and he was still being touchy so you assumed it was about something else as opposed to you.

silly little you had no idea that jungkook was thinking of the next steps. he’d propose to you, obviously, the title of boyfriend and girlfriend was insulting to him and he’d never stoop so low than to claim you in such a way. secondly; you’d get married, and he’d buy you a big house - he was already lined up for a high paying job that he was about to start, and he was pretty comfortable considering his family’s fortune. did you want a lot of kids? lord knew jungkook would give you a hundred if that’s what you wanted, or he’d live a life solely focused on you if that’s what you preferred. he knew you well enough to know you liked children, always cooing and complaining about baby fever to him as though he wasn’t correctly equipped to heal you from it.

after a while, you simply couldn’t take it anymore, pulling at his sleeve a little, forcing him to look at you whilst everyone ate.

“you okay?” you tilted your head at him, wispy hair falling into your face.

fuck, jungkook thought. you were beauty defined.

“yeah, i’m all good.” he confirmed, taking your tugging hand and intertwining his fingers with them underneath the table. “sorry, just been lost in thought.”

“what’re you thinking about?” you asked curiously.

he peered over your features, the way your big eyes were blinking up at him as though he held the answers to the universe.

he pressed a little kiss to your hand. “about how pretty you’d be in a white dress.”

you gasped almost immediately, catching the attention of yejin and seokjin who sat beside jungkook, before they looked away. you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him, chest beating hard at the insinuation of his words, gaze dropping to the way his lips quirked slightly at your reaction.

“why..” you cleared your throat. “why are you thinking about that?”

his thumb was tracing patterns against your skin, leaning closer to you for a minute. “i always think about you. feels fitting for the setting.”

your heart was beating. was he teasing you? you didn’t even need to think to know the concept of jungkook being your future husband was something akin to having heaven on earth. a man utterly, entirely obsessed with you, showering you with love and affection whilst being a six foot something adonis. the fact he was your closest, most cherished best friend since childhood only added a little cherry on top.

“shut up.” you pushed him lightly, but the dusting of pink in your cheeks was enough for anyone to notice.

soon enough, the wedding party actually began, with namjoon forcing all of you to dance and have fun, laughs being heard all around the room as you and other guests danced the night away. you knew you were lucky for having such a sweet circle of friends, all caring and uplifting, unafraid to make fools of themselves in the pursuit of joy.

you slipped away, grabbing yourself a champagne flute and heading out to the open balcony to get some air. you were having the time of your life, and despite having jungkook in your mind all of the time, it felt refreshing to be around such love whilst thinking of him. your best friend. your man.

a small smile formed on your face as you found yourself wanting to scream out loud, feeling so many happy emotions, humming a little as the nippy night air chilled the heat on your body, your exposed arms forming goosebumps.

“god, it’s loud out there.” a voice chirped to your left, making you gasp a little as you looked over.

a tallish man; blonde, green eyes. he was lanky, and resembled one of your exes. on any other occasion, you’d be ready to admit that he was undoubtedly your type, but at the minute, the only thing that could begin to occupy even one moment of your thoughts were that of big boba eyes and a bunny smile.

“you startled me.” you breathed, letting out a light laugh.

he grinned. “sorry.” he turned to you fully. “too much for you too?”

“just wanted some air. got myself a drink, so, can’t complain.”

he laughed in response with a little nod. you found yourself chatting to the stranger, finding out he was a close friend of the groom, was currently working as a lawyer, financially responsible, even had a dog. on paper, this man was the total catch and the fact he was being so openly responsive with you, it didn’t take a genius to figure out he clearly desired you.

however, you felt absolutely nothing.

sure he was attractive, but hardly anything could pull you away from the warmth jungkook provided. he felt like home. twisted, warped, dark and yet it felt safe, something you knew no one else could replicate. he’d known you since you were in pigtails, held your hand through every single thing you’d ever experienced and still stood tall. if not him, then who?

“okay, i’m just gonna ask. gotta shoot my shot, so..” the green eyed man, nate as you’d come to learn, turned to you. “are you single?”

your cheeks flushed almost instantly. you had a sneaky suspicion his interest was blooming from that angle and yet assumed the best. “oh..uh, not really.”

“that doesn’t seem like a confident no?” he tilted his head.

you bit your lip, a slight smile forming. “guess it’s complicated.”

“a girl like you shouldn’t be wasted on complicated. you deserve a clear answer.”

you peered up at him, nibbling on your lip and contemplating. “i know what i mean to him, we’re best friends…we’re more than anything i can describe, really. i don’t even know what you’d call us..i guess that’s why it feels complicated.”

nate took a swing of his drink. “what a lucky son of a bitch.”

you giggled at that, before feeling a heavy warmth against your back, thick fingers clutching the side of your hip and breath tickling the back of your neck, a single kiss being pressed against it. your brain swirled with content, recognising the touch almost instantly, as though you were tethered.

“very lucky.” jungkook all but purred into your skin, a small and almost shy smile forming at your lips.

the man beside you instantly understood this man to be the exact one you had spoken about, and the sight of you together, the way you both melted into each others touch floored him for a moment. you were right - this was the epitome of complicated. as a stranger peering in from the outside, he wasn’t sure what he’d call you. boyfriend girlfriend felt foolish, anything more would be too little, but the way you were reacting and touching one another felt fated.

he took his leave, the once disappointment that swirled in his stomach quickly replaced by an understanding - you were each other’s person. he didn’t stand a fucking chance.

“you scared him away.” you teased, whilst jungkook turned you in his arms, looking down at you with arms locked around your waist. “bad dog.”

“yeah, i guess i did.” he hummed. “been doing that with every man that comes your way for years. some slip through.”

you giggled. he wasn’t joking. not that you needed to know.

he twirled a strand of your hair. “you seem contemplative.”

“is a girl not allowed to think?”

“hm. i encourage it.” hands slowly slipped up to the small of your back. “tell me your thoughts?”

you bit your lip.

“what are we?” you asked quietly, as though afraid you’d break the peace in the quiet you shared with him.

jungkook didn’t falter, though. not that you expected him to, but you knew that it was an age long question that made most people uncomfortable. it was about time you realised that jungkook wasn’t like most people, and he hadn’t been for the past 15 years you’d known him.

he tilted his head slightly, so that your eyes would meet his directly.

“you are everything.” he simply responded. “i feel like anything i label you as is too small and it feels insulting, but i’ll take anything you give me.”

you nibbled further, nodding. “i know.” your voice came out a whisper. “i’ve always liked you to be honest. i guess i just put our friendship first because you’re my best friend, you mean so much to me.”

your admission was sweet, and he could feel it in the depths of his soul.

his finger reached up, tilting your head back gently and pressing a small kiss to your jaw. “i feel a lot more than like for you, y/n. think you’d run for the hills if you truly knew.”

“i wouldn’t.” you breathed out, pulling at his shirt, tugging. “wanna hear it. you can tell me.”

jungkook stared down at you.

“you are the only thing i ever think about.” his finger under your chin was now caressing your cheek. you were so delicate. “morning, afternoon, evening. i feel physically sick if i don’t see you, don’t touch you or talk to you. your voice alone feels healing.”

you breathed out a shaky breath of air.

“remember our pact? i don’t talk to yuna, you don’t talk to your dumb fuck ex.” you nodded.

“only reason i ever entertained her was because i couldn’t stomach the thought of him being around you, getting to hold you and kiss you. even now, i feel angry, feel sick even thinking about it ever being a reality.”

“jungkook..” you all but gasped out.

“i know it’s fucked up. i know it’s not normal, but my brain is warped. i’m obsessed with you, felt this way ever since we were kids and it’s just gotten worse and worse and worse. but i don’t care, baby. you’re it for me and i’m spending my life making sure you feel every bit of that, i don’t care if it means i have to tear this world and make a new one for you.”

your heart was beating out of your chest as you peered up at him, hands shaky and lips parted.

“you, y/n, are mine. i’m yours too.” he nodded. “so call me your boyfriend, or whatever you want, because soon enough, i’ll be standing up there with you walking down the aisle all pretty in white.”

he brought you closer.

“and even then, when you call me your husband, i’ll feel fucking sick. because it’s a cheap comparison for what i feel for you, what i wanna be for you - you’re one half of me, and i’ll never make you feel any less.”

peering into jungkook’s eyes, you saw a swirl of two things. love, undoubtedly, which swam in pools of ebony brown, curling around his iris and hugging the whites of his eyes as though it was the most natural thing on earth. behind it, bigger, stronger even, sat infatuation - deadly, all encompassing.

if you were a better woman, you’d run for the hills, recognise him as the apex predator whilst identifying yourself as his ideal prey. unfortunately for you, every line of obsession that made up jungkook’s entire being was matched within your own. you were every inch of what he was to you, you felt the exact same emotions, the same need, the same awe, the same primal want that you couldn’t explain to anyone else.

he was yours, yours alone and you’d never let him forget it.

you were both leaning in, about to kiss, reaching a new high and understanding when your name was called out from inside the building. within seconds, it seemed you were pulled away out onto the dance floor where the bride was ready to toss her bouquet, your figure hidden amongst the other excited women around you.

you turned, your intention to simply watch as red petals flew in the air, cascading through the crowd and landing gently within your hands, brushing your fingers gently until they found a home in your embrace.

jungkook watched from the balcony, small smirk forming as he too clapped alongside everyone else in the room.

pairing: bang chan + female oc

wc: 64.6k (ongoing)

chapters: 13/?

tags: 9th member fanfic, female original character, friends to lovers, pinning, a little of unrequited love, bang chan is bad at feelings, bad communication (we need to learn how to communicate better!), fluff and angst, implied minsung, angst with a happy ending, time skips (a lot of them), jealousy, bang chan is jealous a lot in this, so is the oc, oc dates around, idols, kpop industry sucks, bang chan is overworked, korean military enlistment is mentioned, oc is older than chan, johnny sue is mentioned, slow burn, im bad at tags but im trying, my first post in ao3, my first skz fanfic, just for funzies

a/n: ANNDDDD the fun begins. after this, its like the second part of the story and that's the one i'm most excited about!!! writing in english has been such a fun and demanding challenge, i hope whoever is reading this enjoys my story as much as i enjoy writing it :)