Welcome to my twisted ankle

you have to romanticize the mundane or you won’t survive it’s cruel out there so drink your coffee and spray a little extra perfume

finishing something you worked really hard for feels like nothing

i just think more 30-40 year old men should be more whorish. act your age for once.

unbutton your shirt and show off some cleavage and wear some sexy underwear and maybe then youll feel better.

when the carbonation lifts the straw out of the cup thats the drink's boner

I bring a certain Europeanness to saying "ma'am/sir this is a Wendy's" where I don't really know what a Wendy's is.

It's wild how "women are reading frivolous and immoral novels that are rotting their brains" is such an evergreen moral panic. You'd think we'd have figured this one out by now.

My special talent is that I can draw connections between anything. Which is good for literary analysis but also makes me socially weird

Most skills that are conducive to writing and writing related activities also make you socially weird

what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

This is someone dying while having an MRI scan. Before you die, your brain releases tons and tons of endorphins that make you feel a range of emotions. Tragically beautiful.

love saying "ich krieg die krise" for i'm losing it / i'm freaking out / etc because it translates directly to "I'm getting the crisis". you know the one. THE crisis. the one and only baby. ye ol reliable