Random Access Memories

Ever just completely geeked out over something. And I'm not talking about geeking out about One Direction, because we all do that daily anyways, but like something really geeky. Today for example, a co-worker and I started talking about art and graphic novels. She had recently purchased a copy of the most recent Ed Burbank series thing (I never really understood comic book lingo, I just call everything a graphic novel, unless it's like Archie or something), and we were getting all super excited about how lifelike the art was, and how exciting the story was. Then we got into talking about our favourite graphic novels. 

Then she let me in on a secret; my co-worker mentioned that she felt like she wanted to project this part of her life before. She mentioned that she felt like she was all of these things, that she had never shown before. Like a comic book nerd, and her creativity. Getting to geek out with me made her feel so much more welcomed. It's truly rare when we get a chance to connect to somebody about something. So do so whenever you can, not matter what it is about, even if you're geeking out about Pro Golf, or 50 Shades of Grey, or a strange Japanese Anime. Because you never know when you'll get another chance to do so. 

Here are the negatives to having a relationship: 

1.) It's hard work. 

2.) It can be emotionally tough. 

Say what you want about consumerism, but buying new shit has some sort of healing property. Seriously there must be an endorphin that triggers some sort of brain function that makes you feel pleasure from spending $80 on useless junk that you don't need (I wouldn't know I was the worst Bio student in the history of High School, literally that class was nap time). Maybe it's got something to do with feeling like you're taking responsibility for something. As if you're taking the fruits of your labour and literally changing them for something that you need/want (mostly want). 

As much as we all like to say that money is evil, money is actually a pretty good thing. The endless pursuit of riches, and obsessive nature is. However money can be used for excellent purposes; like buying a house for you and your new spouse, or helping to pay for your Daughters college fund. There are many uses for money, so why do we treat money like it's an evil thing? It's because we're scared of being out of control with it. And here's the rub, making a purchase once in a while results in that feeling of satisfaction, but constant spending of money soon begins to feel like a drastic sickness. 

Everybody at some point in their life, has a dream. Martin Luther King had a dream; Chris Tucker's character in Rush Hour 2 had a dream; I've had a dream. Actually I've had a lot of dreams, most never came true. Ever. 

It sucks when your dreams don't come true. Literally, we've all probably felt like the world was ending following the realizations that what we've wanted for so long, isn't going to happen. I personally know that I'll keep dreaming, even despite my extremely piss poor track record. Why? Because I know, that chasing my dreams gives me happiness. And maybe possibly, one comes true; and then my whole life is changed. Forever. My dreams are super boring at this point in my life; nothing crazy like winning the lottery or winning the Indy 500. But I know that by Krzysztof Kieslowski just achieving one of those dreams would give me eternal happiness. And as frustrating as the pursuit of those dreams may be, when I make some progress towards that dream it gives me some small pleasure. Even if that progress has to come in the form of working a shit job, that pays shit, and schedules you shit and whatnot. For me to keep sane, I need to recognize that everything I do in my life is to progress towards those super boring dreams. I also need to cut out the things in my life that don't connect to those super boring dreams. Being able to differentiate between the two has become essential to me. Everything else brings me down, makes me feel bad, throws my life into a blender of confusion. I realize now after another dream has passed me by, that the pursuit of that dream gave me some happiness even if that dream didn't pan out the way I wanted it to. 

Because why not? No in all reality, I'm doing this for me. Read if you want to, but I'm doing this to answer the questions I ask myself daily. It's mostly just a collection of thoughts and ideas that I'm feeling at the time.