Bearly There

I chipped my tooth last night and I think it’s because I was on coke

The sugar and chemicals in coke are really bad for your teeth…. Why would you put something in your body that you can use to clean pennies and toilet bowls? 

Cocaine

Observation: I have never broken a bone Hypothesis: I am boneless Data: I appear to have broken at least two bones in my foot slipping on the ice Conclusion: I have at least two bones. Strong evidence suggests the possibility of a third one. 

ted cruz is literally an alien making up human idioms and hoping they work im so stressed

I looked this up because I didn’t believe but he actually…….did say this

Bitches be postin dog snapchat filter everyday n still not know how 2 suck dick

🤔🤔🤔🤔

He saying his dog sucks his dick better than women

Mario jump

fuck dude he sure does

this is what a generation of niggas raised on Spongebob looks like

Stop forcing yourself to preserve dying friendships. It’s not worth it, you know the vibe is off.