Atlas' Choices Art

2016 October 1 - Saturday

Work went well today! I had to work with a guy named Daniel and someone named Morgan and I definitely fit right in with them! 

Daniel told me to call him Danny, he’s in his 20s and I love his style (note to self: ask where he gets his piercings from). He’s super nice and funny. He plays his own playlist for the day and it’s like exactly the kind of pop music I haaaate and that hate has only increased today because after about an hour and a half it all starts over again. When there’s no customers he dances and sings along really badly too, which is honestly pretty funny though. Oh and he’s Benjamin’s boyfriend? I’d never expect those two to be a couple, talk about the definition of black cat x golden retriever couple. 

Morgan’s a junior at our school and they’re really easy to talk to. They’re also really funny, they remind me a bit of Joy at times, like they have that same bluntness and stuff. Like they’ll just tell me I suck at doing something but in such a neutral way that I can’t even be offended. And then they add that I’ll get the hang of it.

I can already tell Saturdays are probably going to be my favourite, which is nice since I start my day at 8 and I really have to get used to getting up on weekends now. Benjamin and Missy took over when me and Morgan were done and Morgan walked with me until we had to split up, I can definitely see myself befriending them too! 

I was already kinda anticipating Cas after work and yup, there he was, knocking on my window while I was listening to music and doodling a bit.

I asked if he’d let me have some blood again today and he was fine with that. He says he likes how eager I always am to drink his blood. Ew! And also that he thinks I’d make a good vampire. No thanks. 

We went into the woods again, of course. We went up the same cliff again, though this time we took the long way and hiked up.

I’ve been thinking about how cool it kinda is that humans can drink vampire blood too? And that it’d be cool to bite a vampire I guess. Reverse the roles, sorta, you know? Joy would get me. 

I don’t know what overcame me, but I just blurted it out. Like if I could bite him. He got this weird grin and for real let me do it!! He said I had to watch out and not take too much blood because that could kill me. A human can take a mouth full of blood max. Well I didn’t see myself take that much anyway, in the end it still tastes like blood, not tasty at all.

He asked where I wanted to bite him and I took his wrist, since that would be the least intim the easiest. Knowing that taking too much could kill me definitely made me more nervous about biting him. I knew I didn’t have to hold back, since he’d heal up quickly anyway. And so I bit him hard and deep. I hoped it’d hurt him a bit anyway, but he just made a cute weird little noise the moment I sunk my teeth in. He sorta guided me through it, I guess he also couldn’t afford to have me drop dead and having to explain at the Nexus that he let me drink his blood. He bled more heavily than I anticipated and I quickly started lapping up the blood and sucking at the wound. 

It made me feel so powerful in a way, I dunno. Like I’m biting a fucking VAMPIRE right now! There’s something about doing this to someone who could just snap me in half if they wanted. I don’t know. I guess I did get really carried away because at some point he had to push me off. It was awesome!!! I feel like this kinda awakened something in me. Like usually you’re not really ‘allowed’ to bite people and draw blood, right? When I bit Anthony he had to get a tetanus shot haha. But that was under different circumstances, this was ho fun! I really hope he’ll let me do it again every time he’ll let me have some of his blood.

I asked if we were gonna go swimming again, since that’s what I assumed would be the plan since he brought me there again. But he said he wasn’t really in the mood anymore. That’s when I also noticed that I’d made a fucking mess of it and we’d both gotten blood on our clothes.. Cas offered to go to his place and he would handle it. ‘Since he’s an expert on getting blood out of clothes anyway.’ Yeah man, remind me of that shit again. Immediately made me wish I had torn a whole piece out of his arm. 

He raced me to the edge of the woods and sadly won. So then I had to deal with him trying to rub it in as if I give a fuck about winning a stupid race against him. I noticed that just walking at a normal pace definitely seemed more challenging after drinking his blood. Cas made fun of the way I walked, though it wasn’t THAT bad I think. I just had to make sure I wouldn’t move too fast.

I gotta admit I was really excited to see where he’d live though. Like just because I’d been wondering where the vampires would live, you know? It turns out that they all do live in town, except for the vampires that are currently in hiding and supposed to be ‘dead’. They all do have some sort of studio apartment in the Nexus. Cas told me about how, once you go deeper inside, you reach the part where everyone lives and it’s basically like a super small underground town, with stores and buildings and all that (mannn I’d love to see that, it sounds really cool..). But to keep up the human guise, everyone lives in town outside the Nexus. The teen vampires get paired with adult vampires who pose as their caretakers and live with them.

I asked if he got along with his ‘parents’ and he told me the Venandi’s are like family. Even closer than biological families. Suuuure, that’s why they mutilate you when you break the rules. I didn’t say that out loud since I wasn’t in the mood to argue. He also told me that after graduation he’d get a shared apartment with one of his friends. Scott if I remember correctly? I think he’s in my history class, though he doesn’t show up often. 

Cas actually lives closer to me than Gabriela does, like only two streets away. It was fun seeing his room, he’d hung up a lot of posters of bands and movies. He even had a few werewolf movie posters up too! His room was pretty messy (as expected). Lots of clutter, clothes on the floor, bed unmade.. He had a bunch of art supplies laying around, but immediately put his (what I assume) sketchbook away when we walked into his room. Kinda cu funny if he’s shy about his art. I wonder what kinda stuff he draws.

We both got undressed and he told me to just take something out of his closet. Or from the floor pile (no thanks). He has a lot of nice clothes honestly, it was pretty fun digging through his wardrobe. I ended up just taking a simple flannel and stuff though. While he was gone I looked around some more, he had a lot of comic books and cd’s on a shelf. He had a little box on his desk with jewelry, which I’d have loved to rummage through. And also a sewing machine and sewing supplies in the corner of his desk. I just love looking through people’s rooms cuz you can learn a lot of shit about them. Just seeing his room like that is so strange in a way, like in the end he’s also just a guy with a life outside the vampire stuff. With hobbies and all that, y’know?

When he got back, Cas reminded me that I still hadn’t given back his other clothes that he lent to me. I told him I’d decided to get back at him by stealing all his clothes until he has to come to school naked because he has no clothes left. Not gonna lie, he really has a lot of clothes I’d just wanna take and never give back. I shouldn’t have said that by the way because then he was like ‘oh so you wanna see me naked?’ Die!! I wonder if I’ll be getting my clothes back.. I noticed that it was getting dark, so I should probably go home. He tried to talk me into going into the woods with him anyway, but that’s really where I draw the line. 

Only when he dropped me off at home, Cas decided to inform me that, since I’d drank a lot more blood than the other times, the effects would last way longer. He couldn’t tell me how long. Well it’s been 6 hours now and I still feel like a fucking vampire minus the fangs!! I ate dinner with mom (which tasted WEIRD because apparently all senses change when you drink vampire blood). And then locked myself in my room, because I’m not sure if mom would notice anything off about me. 

I also found out that vampires can see in the dark. Though that makes sense, I guess. I'm sitting in the dark as I’m writing this.

Mannn I wish I could tell Joy about all this! I bit a guy and he let me drink his blood! And the guy is a vampire by the way. And also the blood gives me temporary vampire powers. I bet she’d drop everything and fly straight to Maine.

I had a really fun day. Honestly, I always have a lot of fun with Cas. He mostly dropped the whole humans are lame and weak-talk.. He still confuses me a lot though. It’s just weird, thinking about how he murdered someone a few weeks ago. I just cannot let that go.. And I shouldn’t! We haven’t talked about that at all anymore. Neither of us really want to, I guess. Ugh it’s just weird like in the moment I just forget all about it. And then I get home and am overcome with guilt once I start thinking. I want to hate him but I feel like I just don’t anymore, if I’m completely honest with myself. But I should, you know?

I’m starting to feel nauseous so I guess the blood is finally wearing off.

2016 October 2 - Sunday

Last night I was awfully dizzy and nauseous once the blood had worn off, I only managed to fall asleep by 5. I wish I had slept before it wore off so I’d just slept through it or something. I woke up cranky as hell, but still pulled myself together since Gabriela was gonna come over to help me with school.

Gabriela pretty soon asked me what I’d been up to yesterday. I was honest about it and told her I spend my Saturdays with Cas lately. I can tell she really doesn’t like it and that makes me feel guilty. I didn’t share a lot of details, also just because mom was home and I couldn’t have her hear me talk about me drinking his blood. 

We really did manage to catch up on all my homework! From now on I’m for real gonna try to stay on top, I gotta get out of here!!! She also explained a bunch of stuff from Algebra class again and promised to send me her notes so I could use those when I’m studying.

Gabriela stayed over for dinner, she and my mom get along well! Not that I’m surprised. Mom also said she likes her a lot, after she left. Mom knows that me and Gabriela like each other. And that we were kissing when she got home last week (she felt so bad haha, she said next time I should send her a text when she’s over so she knows not to disturb us). She thinks we should just make it official, she doesn’t see the point of pretending like we aren’t basically girlfriends already. I guess she’s right. I might just bring it up next week at the autumn festival.. it just seems nice to do it on a special day..

After dinner we went up to my room and cozied up together. And made out again.. I really like her so much, I feel so happy when we’re together. It’s like we’ve known each other for years, like some missing piece fell into place when we met. That’s so cheesy but yeah, it’s true!

2016 October 3 - monday

Apparently Aiden and Jade saw me and Cas together this weekend. Uuuugghhh… Jade’s confused about why and since when I’m hanging out with Cas. I told her he’s nice when you get to know him, I CAN’T believe I said that! About CAS! Well what else am I supposed to say ‘he lets me drink his blood and then I can jump off cliffs and climb big buildings and it’s awesome’?? 

I took over Missy’s shift today after school and it was SO busy today, she dodged a bullet.. And so many difficult customers too, something was in the air today I guess. Daniel made it all bearable at least, I really enjoy working with him! I also met my co-worker Michelle, she’s a bit older than both me and Danny. It was way too busy to properly talk but from what I gathered she’s very nice! Things definitely went better than expected today, though the others also just knew exactly when to take over from me so that helped.

Me and Danny clocked out at 7 and he insisted on driving me home since it was dark already. He drives a baby blue fiat 500 haha, CUTE!!!

I’m so fucking tired now. I had planned to touch up my hair tonight but I’ll just do it tomorrow, I just wanna sleep right now.

2016 October 7 - friday

To celebrate the start of fall break, after school me, Gabriela, Libby, Aiden and Jade went to the wharf and rented a boat all afternoon. Libby keeps teasing us and asking if we’re official yet. We don’t kiss around other people but I guess it’s still pretty clear. And mannn sometimes I really have to fight the urge to give her a kiss. Mom’s right, there’s no point in stalling. I’m gonna bring it up again next monday, after the Autumn festival. We’ll have had a great day together and then that will just make it even better!

Afterwards we went to Aiden’s, since his parents are out of town right now and he and Jade cooked for all of us together. And we all watched Blades afterwards. I really loved this episode too, but I’m mourning Mal’s gorgeous locks (Joy was even more appalled when we texted tonight). It was a fun night, man I really love this group so much! I still can’t believe they all just accepted me into their friend group so easily. Everyone’s excited for me to experience the Autumn Festival. Gabriela will be picking me up next monday and then we’ll all meet up at the fairgrounds!

Something kinda weird did happen tonight though. After Gabriela dropped me off at home, I saw her outside, talking to Lewyn who was parked outside.. I don’t know if I should text her about it or ask her about it on Monday.. I feel like talking face to face will be much better, but I also know I’m just gonna worry all weekend about what that was about.

It prompted me to check in with mom again, but she didn’t tell me anything that seemed very significant. She’d called off the meeting with the sheriff after Lewyn had urged her to, so that’s good at least. But Lewyn knowing that she called a meeting in the first place really worries me. Especially after seeing the motherfucker lurking outside our house. Ugh I wish I could just kill him.

2016 October 8 - saturday

Cas didn’t come over today. I can’t believe I actually sat here and waited for hours. I refuse to text him and give him the idea that I’d miss him or something like that. He’d be so annoying about it, I just know it. It’s really just that by now I’m so used to it, it’s weird when we don’t hang out, you know?

Eventually I took it as a sign and instead texted Gabriela if we could meet up at the park, I just had to get it out of the way! Thankfully she had time. When she got there, the first thing she asked was like, about if it had to do with Cas. So protective haha. 

She told me she just saw Lewyn in his car outside our house when she left and she told him to go away. That he’s keeping an eye on both of us now because we are friends. Ugh great, so he’s fucking stalking us?? BOTH of us, so I’m getting her in trouble now too?

Gabriela reassured me that it’ll be okay, that I don’t have to be scared. That monday we’ll have an amazing day to take everything off my mind.