Mutant Bucket

Derelict Gods of The Northwest

I really love my life now. I never ever ever thought that would happen, ever. If you could've told the suicidal depressed miserable lonely boy I was just a few years ago that she would one day be a happy woman with friends who really love her, on hrt, working on her career she's passionate about and living on her own, I think that boy wouldn't have believed you.

High school sucked so bad. Any moment that wasn't band was spent wishing I was dead or trying my best to make it happen. I struggled with my sexuality and gender and with family who wouldn't ever accept it. I had friends, sure, but so many of them weren't good to me or for me. I still talk to like 2 people from back then regularly [of whom I love dearly, and even live with one], and I'm only on good terms with a few people. I took very little care of myself, and it left permanent damage to my body. Even after highschool I attempted to end my life again, and I struggled so severely with my sexuality and gender and transition and figuring out what to do now that I had no friends. My life could not have been much worse. I had a (at the time) good relationship and that was pretty much all.

But I'm so glad I fought and kept going. And that I did smth with myself, eventually. I couldn't be much happier than I am now. I have genuine friends who care about me and invite me places and check in on me. I have my own apartment away from my family, and my only roommate is a friend I've had since right after I moved to Colorado about 8 years ago. I have a decent job, soon to be promoted, and I'm studying for my dream career. I've hit a point in transition where I can go out and be who I'm meant to be and get gendered correctly [and my name is legally changed too!!]. I've finally come to accept myself as a lesbian and I love every second of it. And I'm pretty good at video games :)

CW: 🔪🩸🐀