PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@musical-rants

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I would like to gather some theater-illiterate people and play them brief clips of musicals and have them guess what it is. Like they hear “Time runs out tomorrow/Terror in our final hours/It's all deranged/No control” and they’ll be like “um Les Misérables? Rocky Horror?”
No it’s SpongeBob the Musical.
“Or I could be a poet and write a different story/One that tells of glory, and wipes away the lies/And to the skies I'd throw it, the stars would do the telling/The moon would help with spelling, and night would dot the 'I's.”
Shrek the Musical.
Cats the musical actually has dark and impressive themes in its story, it's not just a weird musical. It touches on topics such as classism, the stigma of mental illness, poverty, war, and religion/how it effects society, people, and culture. In this essay, I will
I…..
I absolutely cannot accept any other headcanon for Christine Daae except that she’s just. A really fucking weird person. Like, still very nice and polite, a bit shy. You’d like her if you met her. But you talk to her for a few moments and you’re like, “Oh! Okay! You’re the weirdest bitch I ever met in my life!” I fully believe all the other dancers found out about the whole Situation she got involved in with the Opera Ghost and were just like, “Mm, yeah, that checks out.”
One of Christine’s former coworkers, telling this story to her children 30 years later: Christine Daae heard a voice coming out of the vent telling her she was a bit flat when she was singing in the shower and believed it was the Angel of Music. She went through her dressing room mirror to meet her Angel and rode on a boat he had hidden in the sewers along with a bunch of candles. There was a mannequin wearing a wedding dress that was her exact measurements even though they hadn’t met in person before and I’m not one hundred percent sure that was a dealbreaker. She told him to go fuck himself when he kidnapped her boyfriend and then made out with him to convince him not to blow up to the opera house. I’m giving you more description than you need, ’cause I need you to believe me. This was a real person I knew and existed at a place of business.

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It’s 5am and my brain started playing a song. I could only vaguely recognize the lyrics but couldn’t place them bc the tune sounded odd... until I realize it was the lyrics to “What’s Up, Duloc?” From Shrek to Musical to the tune of “Me Inside of Me” from the Heathers.
Shout out to that song in musicals that says the title of the musical
Y’ALL, SHE DID THAT
In case you’re wondering if LMM and Anthony Ramos were aware of how gay they were portraying Hamilton and Laurens the answer is yes. Yes, they knew.
This is LMM’s footnote in the Hamiltome about Laurens.
The only good Hamilton character is The Bullet

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i saw this on instagram and i just..
YES.
( creds to broadway.4me )
To the musicals that taught me a bunch of pointless shit, I hate you and love you.
I got so invested in Hamilton and SIX, and now I know so much information about the history behind them.
But what does that matter if I can’t spell success or tomorrow without second guessing myself.
How is knowing that Henry had an affair with Anne’s sister gonna help me in life? It fucking won’t. You know what will help me? Knowing how to pay taxes.
Where’s my musical about Geometry or Russian Architecture?
I know what dressage is, but I can’t analyze a paper. I can tell you the difference between Malum Prohibitum and Malum in se, but I can’t read Shakespeare. I know about Mormonism, but I’m Methodist so what do I do with this information?
Ironically enough, I can quote Shakespeare because of & Juliet, but I can’t read it.
I can think of one musical that taught me information that is genuinely useful to me consistently. And it’s from one of the most trashed on songs in Dear Evan Hansen. I can easily break in a glove now, which is perfect because I play softball. But most people won’t use that information unless they play ball, so still not that helpful.
"theatre kids are so annoying they listen to the same shit over and over and never calm down lol"
me after hitting play on a musical I used to listen to all the time but took a break from
things I expected from the sponge bob musical:
basically just references to the tv show
an hour and a half of dumb fun
some cute songs
things I got from the sponge bob musical:
sandy gets racially profiled
Patrick starts a cult
political commentary
plankton raps
sponge bob is literally made of rubber
pearl has the voice of an angel
guy fieri mr Krabs
all the songs are BOPS
mrs puff goes on a bender
the ORIGINAL patchy the pirate

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ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER COULD NEVER
(x)
The mashup you never thought would work
Congratu-fucking-lations.
I would pay so much to have this as a ringtone I’m not even joking.
Why?????
The face I made while listening to this was so visceral I had to draw it before reblogging it
How…dare…
I literally hate everything about this fucking website but especially this
My mouth legitimately just dropped open….
I didn’t ask for this
came for the mash-up. Reblogged for the art and the bird gif.
Holy fuCK
Considering Phantom of the Opera is mine and my other half’s ‘song’
I want to show this to him immediately
But
….what?
How……what…..why????
…I want this to ring in class
I have… mixed feelings about this
I actually love it and want it on my iTunes
why does it work so well together
thanks, i hate it
ITS BACK ON MY DASH YAY
Holy heck.
Thanks! I hate it!