what the fork

The thing about Those White People Baby Names is the way they so poetically express the tension between individuality and rigid conformity. These parents all want to name their child something unique, because they value the concept of uniqueness, yet simultaneously they abhor it in practice… ergo, 30 different spelling variations on the most normative possible names. This homogeneity-masquerading-as-diversity is inseparable from capitalist consumer culture and in fact is directly analogous to the experience of walking into a grocery store and being asked to “choose” between 50 varieties of toothpaste with the same exact ingredients, 12 brands of laundry detergent, etc.

how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH

Fan Fact #2: When Spanish conquistadors landed in the Yucatán peninsula, they asked the natives what their land was called and they responded “Yucatán”. In 2015, it was discovered that in those mesoamerican languages, “Yucatán” meant “I don’t understand what you are saying”

W H E E Z E

I love entomology so much because so many words kind of happened by accident or by a native speaker trying to say “WTF are you saying?“

Target is where you go when you’re gonna try to restructure your entire life with 100 bucks, and you’re counting on a shoe rack, thumbtacks, a whiteboard, and new stationary to do it.

Everyone in here is looking for forgiveness and they’re trying to find it in a tasteful desk lamp and minimalist day planner

The value of something means whatever is most convenient to the ruling class.

Me @ the heterosexuals I graduated with who have entire children now

I unironically adore weird teenagers who don’t know exactly what the hell is going on yet. This kid came in for a job interview at the grocery store today wearing very nice slacks and suspenders and a bow tie, with his lil pink hair all done up, and I’m just like, “Oh, we gotta hire this kid. He kicks ass. Motherfucker’s going to groceries prom and we couldn’t stop him if we tried. He’s my manager now; I only answer to grocery prom kid.”

And the rest, my darlings, are meat.

Never punched reblog so fast in my life

Maybe only cats can become ghost. That’s why ghosts just knock over stuff and make noises at night.

like okay i know astrology is fake but it’s real

Someone once told me economics is just astrology for men and I am hanging onto that and getting as much mileage out of it as I possibly can before I die.

They have nine beverages between the two of them