slay it with flowers

emotionally im doing the laminated paper wobbling sound

W H A T

i think it is good to warn people in advance about the circumstances that will cause you to bite them and i think that having given that warning it is good to follow through when the time comes

the rattlesnake is an admirable creature whose virtues we should emulate

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Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think “oh shit, it’s a cop”

sometimes, when i want to really treat myself, i turn my phone brightness up juust a little bit. i feel like i’m splurging. like i’m living a king’s life. sometimes i turn it up all the way and i’m like, “this is what god’s phone screen looks like.”

this will never not be funny

im tired of u fake ratatouille fans thinking the rats name is ratatouille 

List of words containing “meow”: meow, meowed, meowing, meows, homeowner