Naked Boys And Crossdressing, Probably

Most State Farm agents, when they run into trouble, have to get the customer to do the jingle a second time. That guy with the buffalo was lucky.

The magic takes hold, and she materializes in the aisle of St. Peter’s Basilica, still holding the demon by the tail, in the middle of Sunday morning Mass. The music clatters unprofessionally to a halt as laypeople, deacons, priests, monks, nuns, and the Pope all turn their attention to the surprised demon whose fifth course of dinner has turned, unaccountably, into a visit to one of his least favorite places on Earth.

There is chanting in Latin, and vaguely cross-shaped gestures, and clouds of incense, and the demon vanishes in a puff of smoke, whether from the efforts of the clergy or of his own volition no one can say. The Agent doesn’t wait, fleeing towards the doors and escaping in the confusion.

She gains the exit and walks, purposefully, toward Rome proper; there, she ducks into the nearest alley. A burner cell phone comes out of one of the less-used pockets of her purse, and she dials a number from memory.

“Allstate,” says a smooth masculine voice after three rings.

“State Farm,” she answers. “I’m calling in a favor.”

“Yeah?” Interest. “What sort?”

As she talks she’s pulling out her smartphone, keying an app that was activated by the summoning, and pulling up the policyholder data that enabled the incantation to work.

“Insurance fraud,” she said, and can almost hear teeth sharpening on the other end of the line. She gives him the name, the address, the policy number. “Someone needs some mayhem.”

“That’s my name,” the man says.

She smiles. “Someone needs all the mayhem.”

He chuckles. Slow. Evil. Even with the echoes of demonic laughter ringing in her ears, she’s impressed. “Don’t worry,” he says, almost purring.

I’VE BEEN SITTING ON THIS BUT TBH its a really great ask... welcome to la squadra shady anon! 

I love voyeurism. I think (excluding the 2P AU i guess) that 2D and Murdoc wouldn’t actually have sex very much, or if they do its like a big deal every time. There’s a lot of tension, tip-toeing around each other and what not. 

i pictured 2D would make the most amazing, breathy little sounds as he touches himself. Do you think he even has any wank material? If not, he must have to really rely on his imagination.

Murdoc would be straining to hear what 2D’s saying, if he’s saying anything at all, and I thought it would kind of cute if he thinks he’s heard him say his name but he cant tell if he’s imagined it. Ofc, Murdoc is also enjoying a wank bc he’s a terrible person like that.

Cowboy said:  (2/2) “Not tonight, Murdoc, don’t fink you’ve earned it,” he snatches the lube and slicks up his thighs instead, Murdoc gets the idea and he’s PISSED but I like to think that old man is lowkey into being bossed around so he’s play along for now, maybe just because he wants to feel how soft Stu’s thighs are. I’m just picturing Stuart on his back with his legs pulled up to his chest, stroking himself off while he watches Murdoc’s dick poke between his thighs. Huff. -🤠

I don’t think it’s too ooc if its post phase 5! Stu still seems easily manipulated but things are much better than before so one can imagine he could stand up for himself once ina while!

I think the thing about thigh fucking would be how much of a tease it is, right? two people are so close to each other and yet they aren’t touching where both of them want to touch the most. 2D can see Murdoc’s desperation in high definition bc he’s in so much more control than if he was getting fucked like normal.

I like thinking about how his gaze would flick from his face to his cock, llike hes just fascinated by both. Ofc he’s touching himself, and it’s so hot thinking about how they’ll both probably cum all over his chest and his stomach...