i remember when i read your early posts for the first time , i thought thay they were the most understandable ones out there , even though i never ended updoing what i truly wished to do , whay you'd said somehow made sense and that's what mattered . But at some point , i started to get lost , to the point where i genuinely cannot understand any sentences , i think my english is too limited for any of this lol .
feel free to skip this ask , i know it is probably very similar with your other ones , ibring nothing to the table lol , i guess i just needed to say this somewhere , dont bother too much !!!
Anyway , when we talk about illusion , i'll be honest , i just dont get it , i've re read so many of your posts , yet i end up asking the same question as your other anons! i think what other people cannot understand , including me is how an illusion would be there in the first place ??? what even is an illusion ??? bro i'm lost , its even worse than the law of assumption lol . all i can say is that , for exemple , no matter how unreal a nightmare is , its still awful , nobody in their right mind would love to have them all of the time even if they knew they're not real , especially when you know ur in one but cant wake up yourself out of it , thats how many feel about the "physical world" and "desires" and bla bla bla , like , i'd rather just get rid of that shit and ofc to each of their own , i guess some people wont mindhave unpleasable things , but i do mind , i wish to have the choice in it . and back to the infamous example of the cake , at least we can agree that tasting it in physical is just , better than just in the mental , so , how do you get to this point , where things arent just in the head ???? also , how is all of this simple?????????????????????????? genuinely . this lowkey made me go neurotic more then what the law ever did , i'm not even that sad over it , its just so funny and absurd , alright i get it , somehow there's never a separation , yet when i look at things , i see so much pain , in others and me , i'm supposed to believe that this is all on me (not who i think i am but " " or whatever) ????? since there is no separation and all ... how is that different from any religion or the law ????????????????? for me its just a bunch of words replacing others , like "god" >>> " " , "believing"> "assuming"" > "knowing"" thats all . i know that you said its not about enduring things , but how am i supposed to think that ??? till tis day , its feels like lao 2.0 , just a play of words . how is any of this different from delusion , you say we're everything , the cast , the story , the author , even the material lol , but it feels like i'm the character whos self aware , if anything , if i really was everything , why tf woould i write a story as shitty as this one for myself and others lol ???? what an awful author , and i get it , iget it , i GET IT , all stories can appear it doesnt have to make sense , but for god'sake , u know what i mean right ?? if its like telling me that anyine can put their hands on a fire , which , well , ofc they can , but aint that stupid ? i mean , i woudlnt want to do that . and , finally , about your pointer in one of your answer, where you asked someone if teir idea was indeniable or something like or that reality is fixed on it , i'd argue that it is . i've read so much for years about ND , had note books , meditated , did my best to understand it , intellectually knows how you might answer certain questions even authomatically , no matter how much i read this or know this , i come back to this ; living my life as human . in a way i do not wish to . that is the thing that simply cannot be denied , and it comes with all the things that makes a human one . .....
wait , no seperation ??? total freedom ???? as in literally ?????? thats awesome !!!
okay now its time to go back to your life , in world where there is so much pain for everyone ! go pay your bills! but remember , YOU have absolute freedom , everything is going perfectly !!!
thats how ND sounds to me lol , so dystopian . i'm not expecting an answer or anything , as i can already tell what your answer will be for each of my points . damn this all is just mental gymnastic toexplain reality where i still have to live what i hate . maybe i should just stick to your older posts .
that being said , i really do love your blog , despite how i feel about ND how i am misunderstanding it , i can tell that you're never dismissive of anyone and their issues , and that is much appreciated !!! i still think you have the best wording compared to other ( yes , even after this whole absurd rent lol) !!!
Woah! I totally understand what situation you're in. It's normal for the mind to come up with so many negative interpretations in a situation like that, especially when things don't seem to make sense, nothing is changing etc. The mind is used to negativity. All it cares about is preserving the "limitations" it's so so used to. These "limitations" and "assumptions" have been so baked in that the mind always somehow comes up with anything that could suggest total disaster.
But think about this for a second. The mind could come up with anything, but don't you think that a made-up mind cannot actually capture all this? I understand non-duality is so paradoxical and the mind has no room for concluding anything, so it resorts to what it finds familiar and comfortable. Interpretations like "it's all fate", "it's all random", "i am free but things are actually not in control". It dresses up these interpretations in the language non-duality uses. It looks the same on the outside but the underlying meaning is far off. All of these are still interpretations and I cannot deny that non-duality looks like total nihilism when interpreted through a closed off mind. But all those interpretations are not absolute. How could a made-up mind ever come up with the truth that gave rise to it in the first place?
If you look at all this from an open-mind and question it, it makes no sense why they have to be true. It's uncertain. But I know what you could be thinking immediately as uncertainty is introduced as a topic: “So it's all random?”
It could be anything, yes. But this doesn't entail randomness or lack of control. Don't you think there's more to whatever is happening than mere randomness? You seriously think existence can be captured into your interpretations of it?
Even looking at this from say, the bloggers' perspectives, or at least, my perspective... do I look like the type to settle for some half-baked stuff the mind comes up with? Do I look like the type to settle for "detachment", "disengagement", "it's all fate"? I want freedom. I want to do whatever I want to do. I want everything to happen as I say it would. I can't settle for stuff like detachment or whatever. Such concepts have no place in non-duality. Especially not in my blog. Isn't it absurd to think someone like me who has "extreme ambitions" like I mentioned in one of my posts would settle for something "nihilistic" or "renunciative"? It would make sense that I would settle for it if I was fed up with it all. But I am not fed up with life. I want to enjoy life without having to worry about what could or couldn't happen. I guess the only way I could enjoy it is if I know how things are going to turn out and what their nature is. If I knew it's all in control, none of it being decided by someone or something independent... but in MY control. Even who gets the authority to decide what happens is in MY control. I may have introduced limits here to get my point across like "am I burdened, responsible etc.", "is this or that not possible?", but no, it's limitlessness in the truest sense of the word. Freedom in the most literal sense of the word.
Isn't that also what you want? Complete authority, freedom, limitlessness, perfection? Good for you because that's already the inherent nature of " ".
You mentioned how you think " " is a separate entity. Did anyone ever say that? No, forget about others. Do you seriously believe that could be the case with non-duality?
My "hands" post is only thought of as something colourful and you leave it at that, but it clearly describes the flow of appearances with an example all of us are familiar with, have embodied and witnessed real-time.
Does it feel like someone external is controlling your hands, or as if it's fated? Does it feel mechanical? Do you feel compelled to move them? Yes, in extreme situations like paralysis, panic, danger, it does seem that way. But normally, how do they move? Don't they feel like... YOU? It's like there's total control of their movements and yet, it doesn't feel like someone's sitting there micromanaging every single move. That burden is absent. That's what we mean by effortless, spontaneous, automatic, perfect... and especially by "nothing happens without YOU".
You may get thoughts "hey, don't move your hands" and yet you move your hands. Guess what this means? Everything answers to YOU. Not to those thoughts. This is why things can happen even if the thought might say something else.
Now my next move is pretty much the same as what I have done before. I ask you to extend this to everything else.
But you may ask, it doesn't seem like they answer to ME. That's the illusion. Precisely that is the illusion. They still answer to YOU. Indeed. You did something wonderful in your ask. You asked the question: Why would I do that? Let's read that instead as: Why would this happen if everything answers to ME? I would never!
Before I go further, I would like to clarify the relationship between YOU and all these concepts of a world, people, etc. It's like the relationship between the author and his stories. You don't blame the author for writing good or bad stories. You blame the characters in them for what good or bad happens, according to the logic of the story, because sense and morality are all concepts that are part of these stories. If a story is such that X was murdered by Y, you don't blame the author for it. The logic of the story entails you blame Y. So clearly, YOU are not to blame for whatever is happening. What you call "I" which is just an idea that's part of the story could be blamed for murdering someone. But the logic here is that "I" is a human and cannot actually do things that humans can't do. Like tsunamis, disasters, supernovas etc. whatever. But you know such a story is what answers to YOU. Just an idea that's being thought of. In fact, you might have visualised really bad things about the idea of a person in first person POV yourself? Now, do you blame the one imagining for what happened to that person or what you did to other people? No, within the logic of what was imagined, and the cause-effect system or whatever, you blame that person or other people or his feelings or his parents or whatever. It's really all just an idea. It's the same... well, idea, lol.
If you ask "me" the person, why I did all the bad things, I would be quite confused. That's not how logic works here. In fact, if you really think about it, you'll see how "everything that happens" is part of the cause-effect system within the story. If you believe in a god, then a god could be blamed for all the tsunamis as part of the "he is responsible" narrative within the cause-effect system.
"me" and "you" are really just ideas. I am trying to describe the nature of reality here but it's basically of no use to any of us, practically speaking. It's just... chop wood, carry water. That's how it works, logically speaking. If nothing changes... then what's the point? There is a point but there is also none. It all comes down to the question you just asked: Why would I?
Maybe a better way of phrasing this: Why would I be writing a story of "me" and "you" sitting here doing stuff? That's a valid question, honestly. There's no burden, no blaming, no effort etc. involved when you see this all as just a story being written. And yes, you cannot deny that it is being written. It doesn't make a difference to "me" or "you" because... the moment a new story is being written, that "me" or "you" that was part of the previous cause-effect system no longer matter or make sense anymore. A new "me" story where "I" am like a god who has no memories or relation to the previous "me" and have my own "eternal" timeline of reincarnation extending to the past and future could be written instead. Honestly, the fact that it's all a story being written automatically in relation to YOU implies that a "new" story that has no relation to the "old" story can be written, although "new" or "old" etc. are all concepts within a story. See why language breaks down?
Anyway, the above was all elaboration but it is indeed simple. Back to the point: Why would I?
This already assumes that everything answers to YOU. Well, good. Because that isn't even an assumption. That's just the reality. There's nothing/no one but YOU. All stories arise and dissolve within YOU, all of them answering solely to YOU.
You may have heard of the water-wave analogy. A tiny wave might appear. A tsunami might appear. A whirlpool might appear. It's water appearing as all these forms. It's not "morphing" into something else, because it's still water. But it's all how the same water appears as. All of these forms answer to water. Could any of these be without water? Aren't they all acting accordingly with the nature of water? Is the water exerting effort or negotiating with anyone? No. It's just pure freedom. Water is enjoying itself appearing as all these forms while itself being free from all the troubles amongst these forms. Without the explicit “permission” of water, without any of the forms resonating with water... no form could be. If there's a tsunami, as much as the cause-effect analogy amongst the other waves etc. be whatever, none of that would be without water effortlessly configuring itself as such.
Where's the illusion? Not in the appearances of water. But in how these forms could ever seem to be independent of water. Even if we consider a "wave" doing stuff on its own deciding what every other form should be doing, isn't that entire framework BECAUSE of water to begin with? The moment water just stops, it's not just that they vanish, they lose all meaning and an entirely new framework of an entire water kingdom with its own logic and systems could emerge freely, and once again, it's still BECAUSE of water.
So yes, you are right to ask YOURSELF that question. “Why would I be appearing as this? Of course, all of it effortlessly, automatically, perfectly answers to ME. To think there could ever be anything else... is absurd, for that anything else also answers to ME. So why? Why am I appearing as this?”
“I would never appear as this, and I know that nothing would ever go against ME and yet I am appearing as this. All of this still answers to ME, no difference, and yet...”
This confusion is exactly why there seems to be an "independent" person doing things. But as you can see, that's absurd. So it certainly is YOU, no doubt about that.
The question and the answer obviously collapse with YOU. For the answer to that "why" question is also YOU. So although it's absurd to ask the question "Why is this happening" to something external for there is no external but YOU.. it's fair game to ask that question, although just as meaningless, to YOURSELF. But probably, you won't even care anymore if you stopped pretending that there is someone else authoritative... after all, it is all YOU, right?
Ask yourself. Why? Your reaction would probably be "I mean, it's all ME anyway, so it doesn't matter. Even this seeming "glitch" is because of ME, because of MY explicit permission, for even that appears within ME.”
A glitch, yeah. If an "independent" authority is absurd, then I guess the mind that cannot make sense of it can only classify it as a “glitch” now. Nothing to do. Nothing to worry about. Nothing to chase. Nothing to need. It's all YOU so how could anything be imperfect? This seeming imperfection is just an illusion. Just a glitch. No, it's a joke. No, it's honestly not even that. You honestly couldn't care less. There's total freedom, authority already. Things just happen exactly according to YOU for they have no "choice" not to as they all answer to YOU, ultimately.
It irks me so much when people ask the why question. I guess this is an exception, because this time at least, you are not asking this question to others, as if they have authority which you know they don't have, but to YOURSELF and in the end, not even caring about that anyway.
Also, I know that I used "YOU" and "you" here. But it's not because they are separate entities which as you can tell is absurd to even suggest... but more like "you" is just an idea of a character with a first person POV which answers to YOU just like everything else. No separation mentioned or even implied.
If YOU wouldn't read this story, that story won't appear. If YOU wouldn't let XYZ happen, XYZ won't happen. You can't take any "story" seriously although within the story, anything within it can be taken seriously by "you" or other people.
Yeah, ABC is happening even if YOU wouldn't let that happen. But so what? It's still a glitch. It still means nothing about YOU. It's still something that will fade in no time, and you couldn't take it seriously regardless. Think about how fast you return to reality when you realise you're daydreaming, and even if that "overlay" it leaves still seems to persist, you couldn't care even if you tried to... it's like it's ready to fade anytime now.
So if you ask "me", a human... why I am not doing what I want to or whatever... again... I will get mad, like seriously. 😡. I am a human. YOU are reading this story. That's the logic of this story. It's as absurd as an author asking a character within the story that is being read and written right now... “hey, little one, why are you not shifting to your DR”. Pardon me, what in the world did you just ask? I mean, yeah, I can answer with something like "I can't shift. I am desperate to, but I can't." which is actually perfectly valid as a response. If YOU would rather read a story where I or other bloggers grow wings and fly to you just to prove something to "you", YOU are free to. Leave this human "me" alone and enjoy YOURSELF.
Note that "reading", "writing" etc. is not something YOU do. YOU don't choose, do, etc. All of those only make sense within a story. It's more like... whatever is happening is ultimately because of YOU. That's it. The end.
I hope you get that "me" and "you" aren't people that actually exist. But stories. There's only the story YOU are appearing right now which is ultimately because of YOU. So, thinking there are enlightened ones, etc. is already invalid. I want to find the person who invented that word. 🤗
This is simply just a poor excuse for a description of the indescribable nature of reality, which no one can understand. The simplicity is way too sophisticated to be captured in words. And yet, it's simple precisely for the same reason.
Note that what I said may suggest several limits. It's just the limitation of language. Any such "limits" can be discarded freely for anything is possible or impossible depending on YOU. So if anything, every question has an answer within YOU. Nowhere else.
Moreover, if this YOU is all encompassing, the label "YOU" doesn't fit, because it suggests there's someone else independent of YOU or that we are talking about "you", but all of that is a story. This is why we use " ", Being, Awareness. But pfft, it seems to have failed anyway given how you and many people think " " is something other than YOU.
If you don't get it, well, you aren't supposed to. It's only known through direct experience which is already the case. Naturally, this isn't something "you" do. It's just the fact that the entire story of this world already appears within YOU because of YOU as YOU.
Sorry to have beaten you by a significant margin in the "who writes more" competition. You cannot get your hopes up when you're against me, of all people. 🤣
Also, I am glad you love my blog although you seemed to have made a mess out of the entire thing which makes me second guess whether you actually love it, lol. The flaw is not in your conclusion, but in the fact that you're concluding something at all about the inconclusive. You loved my older posts more? That's actually underwhelming, lol. But I think I get it. The mind tries to avoid the discomfort of being exposed to paradox. My older posts tended to be less paradoxical as they gave no room for any interpretations and described the practical experience, but they are still quite incomplete without the paradox. I more so cared about deconstructing assumptions, methods, desire, need, lack and what not as well. When it comes to non-duality, confusion is a good thing. It ends up making the mind seem untrustworthy, which it is, as no conclusion it comes up with explains anything. It understands that it cannot understand non-duality or the nature of reality it points to, ever.
