Just be fancy

He decides to go down to the WRP and visit with his girls when he sees Tianlang Jun sitting at a table just enjoying the music and talking about novels with the girls.

Fucking Bingo

Within days, Shen Jiu is announcing his own marriage to a demon and Tianlang Jun is thrilled because Shen Jiu is even meaner to him than Su Xiyan was.

Binghe is in the corner growing mushrooms while frantically trying to rip suppression talismans off Xin Mo so he can kill his dad and Shen Yuan is trying not to throw up in his mouth because he's thinking about how his brother is now also his father in law.

Edit: I wrote and published a one shot on ao3 if anyone wants to read it. it is locked to register users only though.

TLJ: Why did you hand me a... Snake baby?

TLJ: Snaby.

Tiny Snaby Zhuzhi Lang: (⁠●⁠´⁠⌓⁠`⁠●⁠)

TLJ's Sister: I don't want him and you want kids.

TLJ: I want my kids not a snaby you found on the ground-

TLJ's Sister: He's my kid I just don't want him.

TLJ: So he's my snephew? How'd you get such a weird looking kid?

TLJ's Sister: *shrug* Fucked a giant snake.

TLJ: ...

TLJ's Sister: He had two dicks ok? I had to try it!

TLJ: I GUESS that's understandable but I'm not going to take care of your kid-

TLJ's Sister: I'm literally going to just leave him outside if you try to give him back.

TLJ: ...if you ever do this to me again I'll rip your throat out.

TLJ's Sister: Pff whiner, Fine I'll take him back then-

TLJ: No you won't. Fuck off you've lost your snaby privileges.

Tiny Snaby Zhuzhi Lang: (⁠ꏿ⁠﹏⁠ꏿ⁠;⁠)

Tianlang Jun giving flirt advice to his nephew

French bonus (je sais que l'expression veut juste dire merci mais je trouvais ça drôle sans contexte)

("Did you know humans just leave perfectly good children on the streets?? It's so easy to steal them!")

Su Xiyan approaches the dangerous demon emperor and finds out he's there because it's nap time for his gaggle of preteen boys (the ages are what I want them to be- and okay maybe Qi-ge is a teen proper).

SXY: Cute.

TLJ: Why thank you.

SXY: I was talking about the kids.

TLJ: ehhhhh... Are they? You have to admit some of Zhuzhi's snakey bits are Unfortunate. And Yue Qi is the Squarest child I've ever seen.

SXY: *desperately stifling laughter* what about the little one?

TLJ: Xiao Jiu is probably the most conventionally 'cute' but wait until he wakes up. He scowls at everyone like they own him money.

TLJ: I'm definitely the cutest...right?

TLJ being a single mom who works two jobs Dad doesn't deter SXY and before you know it...

SJ: Hideous.

YQ: He's cute.

Baby Binghe: ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

ZZL: He's small right? I don't think I was ever that small.

YQ: I think he's normal baby sized.

SJ: I hate him. *Baby Binghe grabbed his finger 10 minutes ago, he has not pulled away*

ZZL: It's alright to be upset you aren't the baby anymore.

SJ: I don't care about being the baby anymore - at all! I never cared!

Baby Binghe: *coos*

no, unless he's a young father, that's not a dilf, that's a hunk. If you want to call a childless man a dilf, at least make him middle aged

no, that's not a bear, that's a hunk. Bears must be fat and hairy

no, that's not a himbo, that's a hunk. Himbos must be dumb, beefy and kind simultaneously, if he's just dumb and beefy that's a hunk

binghe's content does a complete 180 after that, moving from michelin-level recipes to 'cooking on a budget' and 'time-friendly' meals. peerlesscucumber occasionally will send another picture of his poor, neglected fridge and ask for suggestions. luo binghe always fulfills his requests!