nell

You swear you didn't put yourself in this situation on purpose. You had denied going to any parties tonight, wanting to just rot in bed with some nonsense movie and chinese takeout.

But your best friend cum roommate being the absolute menace that she is, dragged you out of your bed, chucked one of her dresses in your hand and pushed you into the bathroom to get ready.

Which is how you find yourself in the bar, surrounded by tens of her girlfriends, celebrating whoever’s bachelorette it is by downing your fifth shot of tequila.

“Another” you slam the small glass on the table with a lopsided smile, swaying slightly. The bartender eyes you, then your best friend, totally rethinking his life decisions.

Nat grabs hold of you as you sway dangerously and toddle towards the dance floor.

“That's enough. Were going home” she puts one of your arms across her shoulders to balance you. All while you try your best to drag her to dance.

“Noooo” you whine “I wanna dance”

“You're in no position to dance, girl” natasha scolds just as the music booms. And before she can react someone grabs your wrist to pull you toward the crowd.

Your eyes light up in drunken joy. “YES. MOVEMENT. I will out-dance my emotions.”

Nat scowls, fingers massaging at her temples as she watches you wobble like a drunk raccoon.

You last approximately thirty seconds before:

– tripping over your own foot

– laughing hysterically

– attempting to twirl

– and nearly colliding with a very confused stranger

Natasha immediately intercepts you like a linebacker. “Okay. Nope. That's it. We're done for today”

She starts to guide you out of the bar while you complaint about your heels and demand more vodka.

You both make it halfway down the block before you stop dead.

“Wait.”

Nat sighs in frustration. “No.”

“I need—”

You don’t finish the sentence as bile rises to your throat, and you lean over the sidewalk throwing up with the kind of dramatic betrayal usually reserved for soap operas.

Nat gathers your hair behind you and holds it in a makeshift ponytail as you retch.

“This was a bad idea” she mutters under her breath, wiping your mouth with her handkerchief as you stand back up and hug her with all the enthusiasm of a tiny panda.

She sighs, dragging you towards the car.

The car ride home is somehow worse. Mostly because you decide to ramble your way out of drunken haze.

You slump against the window, mumbling like you're confessing to the glass.

“I love when he says my name,” you murmur, eyes half shut. “Especially when he says it… like it matters. That’s illegal. He should be illegal in congress.”

Your friend drives with one hand and regrets with the other. “Stop blabbering and go to sleep. Hangover's gonna kill you tomorrow.”

“But…… daddy, I love him” you wail, leaning over the gear shift, wiping your nose on her dress and she grimaces, laying you back on your seat.

“I’m never letting you drink again”

—

You reach the apartment in pieces.

One heel is already missing by the time the door clicks shut and you stumble inside like a defeated knight, blinking at the familiar walls like they’ve personally offended you, brfore making a determined beeline—not for the bed, not for the couch—

For the desk.

Natasha drops the keys and groans. “No. Absolutely not. You are going to sleep.”

“I am going to… process,” you say solemnly, colliding with the chair and half-falling into it. “With words.”

Natasha watches as you fumble your bag onto the floor, squint at the laptop like it might escape, and open it with all the gravity of someone launching a missile.

“Go to bed,” your best friend insists, tugging at your sleeve. “You are drunk. You threw up. Your mascara is… abstract.”

“I am still literate,” you argue, expression serious, cracking your knuckles with purpose. “And deeply burdened.”

You open the document and type one line.

Delete it.

Type it again.

Nat leans over your shoulder. “What are you even writing?”

“A document of emotional significance.”

“That’s called a diary. And it lives offline.” she facepalms.

You sway in the chair, pointing at the screen. “This is… more official.”

“No, this is more dangerous.”

You straighten suddenly. “I have been quiet for too long.”

“You have been loud for three hours.”

You stare at each other.

Your best friend sighs, rubbing her face. “Fine. I’m going to shower. When I come back, you will be right here.”

She lifts a finger. “Do not move from this chair.”

You salute so hard you almost tip over.

“Aye aye.”

Nat pauses in the doorway. “Do not write anything.”

You salute again. “I will not… write anything inappropriately.”

The bathroom door shuts with nat mumbling something like, “She’s gonna get herself fired”

Subtle foreshadowing.

The apartment goes quiet except for the hum of the laptop.

You squint at the blank page.

“Dear Sir,” you whisper, testing it out loud.

Then nod, satisfied.

“That is… respectful.”

Your fingers begin to move.

Slow at first.

Then faster.

Posture miraculously perfect despite the sway in your shoulders.

You mutter as you type. “Subject line is important. One must always… set expectations.”

You type one, squinting suspiciously before changing it.

Subject: Concerning a Conflict of Interest (Personal)

You beam.

“Yes. That is… accurate.”

You lean closer to the screen, hair falling into your face.

“It is with considerable reluctance….” you murmur, squinting, “…and an alarming lack of judgment that I must inform you of a developing issue within my professional conduct.

Your head dips, but the words keep coming.

By the time the shower turns off, the document is three paragraphs long, formatted perfectly, margins aligned, tone immaculate.

You stretch, proud.

“Good,” You say softly. “That was very… contained.”

Subject: Concerning a Conflict of Interest (Personal)

Dear Sir,

It is with considerable reluctance and an alarming lack of judgment that I must inform you of a developing issue within my professional conduct.

Said issue involves an excessive awareness of your presence in shared spaces, including but not limited to conference rooms, elevators, and the general vicinity of your desk.

Upon further reflection, I regret to report that the aforementioned “distraction” has escalated into what medical professionals might classify as longing.

This manifests in involuntary behaviors such as: – memorizing the cadence of your footsteps – experiencing unreasonable satisfaction when you request coffee – developing a heroic desire to defend you from mild inconveniences

Your finger slips.

Not save.

Not draft.

Post.

You blink at the screen,smiling proudly.

Then promptly rest your forehead on the desk.

By the time natasha appears in the doorway again, you have fallen asleep on the desk, drooling slightly. The laptop screen is still glowing.

five emails sent to congressman barnes

She groans, wondering what you might have written in there, before wrapping a blanket around your shoulders and leaving the room.

And you? well, you sleep peacefully, unaware of the upcoming storm that you have deliberately thrown yourself into.

——

The office is still half-asleep when he arrives.

Lights off in most corridors.

Security nodding quietly.

The city outside his windows just beginning to breathe.

This is his hour — before meetings, before numbers, before decisions that weigh on other people’s lives.

He sets his coat on the back of his chair, loosens his cufflinks, and sinks into his chair.

For a moment, he just stares at the desk.

Files stacked in perfect alignment.

His schedule printed and clipped the way you know he likes it.

A pen placed parallel to the folder, because you once noticed he straightened it unconsciously.

He exhales.

You do this every night. Stay later than you need to. Prepares tomorrow before you leave today.

He blinks, loosening his tie, eyes drifting automatically to the small details you leave behind:

A faint floral scent in the air.

A sticky note reminding him to eat lunch.

Your handwriting in the margins of a report—small, precise, careful.

You.

He exhales slowly.

He notices everything about you. He wishes he didn’t.

The way you bite the inside of your cheek when concentrating. How chirp “good morning” like you didn't lose sleep last night on today's meetings.

It is inconvenient, this feeling.

Unwise.

Ill-timed.

You're too young for him. Too bright.

Too unguarded in the way only someone who still believes in effort and fairness can be.

And he is… not.

He has meetings that decide futures. Scars from past battles. A life made of careful choices and restrained wants.

You're brilliant. Efficient. Too young to be tangled in something as complicated as him. And technically, professionally, untouchable.

He presses his thumb against the edge of the desk.

But he still looks at you, he can't help but watch you.

The way you tilts your head when thinking.

How you say his name in that sweet bird like voice like the name belongs to you.

How you stay late without being asked.

How you never look at him when you laughs — as if afraid you might give something away.

And God help him, he is in love with you.

Quietly.

Carefully.

From a distance he pretends is enough.

He has rules for himself:

Do not stare.

Do not linger.

Do not want.

Especially not someone so young. so innocent.

Especially not someone who trusts him with her time, her career, her future.

“She doesn't think of you like that, bucky. For fuck's sake, get a grip,” he murmurs to the empty office.

If only he knew.

He shakes his head, ridding himself of his regular morning brooding session and turns on his laptop.

The screen glows to life.

Inbox loads.

He expects to see board messages, legal reminders, market reports.

What he does not expect—

Company-wide post:

“Concerning a conflict of interest (personal)”

That… is not a budget memo.

He frowns, clicking it open.

And the universe collapses directly into his chest.

Dear Sir,

It is with considerable reluctance and an alarming lack of judgment that I must inform you of a developing issue within my professional conduct…….

Your words.

Your tone.

Your formatting.

His heartbeat stumbles as reads and rereads.

Subject: Clarification Regarding the Severity of the Situation

Dear Sir,

It has come to my attention that my previous messages may have understated the gravity of my condition.

I do not simply admire you. I suffer from an ongoing preoccupation with the way your sleeves roll up when you are focused, and how your expression softens when you believe no one is watching.

This has resulted in a persistent desire to be nearer to you than professionally necessary, and an irrational disappointment when meetings conclude.

The said meetings are spent by me wondering how you might react finding me on my knees under your desk, mouth working meticulously on your cock while you try to lead the meeting.

Hence, should you notice increased efficiency in my work, please be advised it is fueled entirely by such improper fantasies, inappropriate affection and an alarming amount of emotional attachment.

With troubling sincerity, Your assistant (emotionally unsound)

His throat tightens. Another message appears.

Subject: Formal Notice of Want (Unprofessional Edition)

Dear Sir,

It is no longer possible to categorize my feelings as a minor inconvenience. They have evolved into a persistent craving for your attention, your approval, and, regrettably, the warmth of your proximity.

I find myself imagining being seated on your lap while your metal fingers explore me in the ways I am unable to explain. Coaxing the whines and moans out of me as my warm, wet walls envelope the said metal fingers.

It is essential for you to know that the desire I have to be on my knees before you and have your hands rest in my hair while I wrap my lips around your cock is irrepressible.

It is pre-eminent for me to hear you moaning my name as you hold me against the glass window of your office, cock pounding into me while you usher me to stay quiet. And having you shove your fingers in my mouth when i’m unable to do so.

Should you inquire, my other fantasies include but are not limited to, riding you until you pass out, making out with you in your office, being bent over your desk while you fuck me from behind.

Then another. His eyes are wide enough to pop out of the sockets as he takes in each filthy, agonizing detail you've written in your letters.

Subject: Final Report on My Emotional Collapse

Dear Sir,

I hereby confess that my professionalism is now held together by routine alone. Beneath it exists an unrestrained desire to be chosen by you in ways that extend far beyond quarterly objectives.

I wish to be the first person you see when you arrive and the last you speak to before leaving. I wish to be indispensable not only in function but in feeling.

It is vital for me to be fucked by you so as to be relieved of having to do it myself while imagining your cock instead of my hands.

I find it highly uncomfortable to not he able to kiss you when I want to and to sit on your lap like it's my assigned position.

If this sentiment is inappropriate, I accept full responsibility. If it is mutual, I will require several minutes to process the miracle.

I remain, disastrously yours in spirit, The assistant who has crossed several emotional boundaries

By the time he's done reading the last of the letters, his heart is thudding wildly in his chest.

His throat tightens at the raw vulnerability in each letter.

Each one worse than the last.

Each one more honest. More filthy.

Each one written like a confession wrapped in professionalism.

He leans back slowly in his chair, hand over his mouth.

You wrote this, he thinks. Drunk, probably. Brave, definitely. Not knowing what it would cost you.

And somehow the fact that hits him the hardest is that you wrote all this… about him.

Of all people.

He scrolls again, rereading it. Not because he needs to. Because he wants to.

Because every line sounds like something he has been forcing himself not to feel.

He thinks of your age. Of his position. Of the way the world would look at this.

Then he thinks of the way you look at him.

And for the first time in months, the rules feel… negotiable.

He eyes close themselves, a tender, mischievous smile blooming across his face as an idea plants itself in his head.

—

You wake up with no memory of last night and cursing at the alarm clock.

“Ughh” you groan, rolling over in your bed to hide from the bright lights peeping in from the curtains, except you're not on your bed.

The desk chair creaks as you try to roll over and fall to the floor with a loud thunk.

“I'm guessing you're awake” comes Nat's sarcastic voice from the kitchen.

“Shut up. It's your fault” you wince, getting up.

“But it wouldn't be my fault if you get fired for being late at work.” She shouts back and you glance at the clock.

“FUCK”

You rush to the bathroom, yelping when you stub your little toe against the bed in hurry.

By the time you're ready and on the way to capitol hill, you're already late by an hour.

You dash across the parking lot and through the reception, towards your desk. Hoping you didn't miss any early morning meetings or events that you had to remind bucky about.

God forbid he misses something important because of your foolishness and you'd lose this one thing you love doing.

Only if you remembered the stuff you pulled off last night.

Your anxiety almost makes you trip over a crate of water bottles when Jane, from reception catches your arm.

“Careful there, honey” she smoothes your coat, smiling amiably before adding “congressman barnes was asking for you in his cabin”

“For me?” You confirm. It isn't too rare of bucky to ask for you, you're his assistant. Of course he'll call you if he needs something.

But you can't get the feeling out of you that there's definitely something wrong. You brush it off, thinking its because you're late that you're feeling this way.

Jane intercepts your train of thoughts “Don't worry, it's not because you're late. He needs you to review some files”

“Oh thank god.” You sigh a breath of relief and hastily walk over toward bucky's cabin after thanking Jane.

You don't knock before entering. Knowing he can hear you approach anyway. And after working for years as an assistant for him, you've crossed the bridge of professionality to being friends.

“You asked for me, sir?” you chime as you walk in, smiling slightly as you watch him write something in his notepad.

“If I didn't know any better, I'd think you like me correcting you every time you call me sir” he looks up, eyebrows slightly raised, voice laced with his teasing lilt.

You giggle, making your way across the room and sinking in the chair in front of him. “Jane said you wanted me to review some files?” You question.

“Yeah. Here. Have a look at this.” He slides a leatherback folder across the table toward you, and leans back in his chair, smirking.

His eyes are bright like you've never seen before, almost mischievous, like he's….. up to something.

You open the folder and stop dead at the very first line that gets your attention…

I find myself imagining being seated on your lap while your metal fingers explore me in the ways I am unable to explain.

Your eyes trail upwards, reading the whole thing.

What the fuck! Is this your formatting? Oh…fuck yeah it is.

You turn the page and find another letter, then another, then another.

Each one filthy.

Each one highly Unprofessional.

Each one vulnerable and raw in a way that you'd never be if you weren't drunk.

Oh My God

The memories slam back to you like a freight train. Nat's party, the shots, the desk……the emails, all of it.

You look up, embarrassed to your very bones and wishing the earth would swallow you whole, this instant.

You're so fired

“So…” Bucky begins and you close your eyes, knowing what he'd say. Something among the lines of ‘this was very Unprofessional’ or ‘you're fired’ but the words that come out of his mouth are something you'd never even thought of in your wildest dreams.

“About that….” he leans towards the table, tapping a spicy nasty line in particular “….how would you like to proceed”

Your mouth falls open but no sound comes out.

Out of all the ways you expected this to go, this was not it.

Your cheeks burn red with embarrassment and anticipation as bucky gets up and stalks closer towards you.

You turn in your chair as he reaches you, stooping down so he's eye level with you. His eyes are tender now. Almost adoring.

“You aren’t supposed to love me like this,” he murmurs.

Then adds just as quietly, “…but I don’t think I can pretend I didn’t see it.”

You don't know what you see in his eyes that makes you want to tell the truth “I do” you nod “I really do”

His metal palm cups your face as you whisper “I love you bucky”

He leans in, close enough that your nose nudges his, close enough that you can feel his warm breath fan your face.

His eyes flick toward your lips, then back at your eyes, giving you all the time to pull away if you want.

You don't.

You tip your face up, closing the gap and meeting his lips in a slow, tremulous kiss.

His lip quivers slightly when your tongue sneaks out to lick at it. His mouth opens itself, letting you in, deepening the kiss.

Your tongues slide against each other, exploring, fighting for dominance.

His hand is tangled in your hair, yours holding on to his shirt for dear life.

Bucky's palms slowly make their way across your back, settling themselves around your thighs and hoisting you up from the chair.

You break the kiss with a yelp as bucky places you on his desk “you wanted to be fucked on my desk, didn't you?” He pecks your lips, smiling.

You nod, shy beyond measure.

“I need your words, baby” his fingers grab hold of your chin, tipping it up so your eyes would meet his.

“I want you to fuck me, bucky” you murmur, hiding your face in his chest as he chuckles, breathy and amused.

“Not yet, sweetheart” he mutters, dropping to his knees.

“Buck, what're you—” you start but he shushes you.

“I need to taste you, baby. Can I?….please” his eyes are dark with lust, restraint running thin, yet he asks so nicely, so patiently, how can you say no to him.

“Have at me, bucky” you reply

His hands slowly skim across your thighs, sliding your skirt up until its bunched at your waist.

He groans at the sight in front of him, before leaning in and pressing his nose to the thin material of your panties.

You gasp at the contact. “Fuck, sweetheart. You smell so sweet” he mumbles against you, kissing your inner thigh before sinking his teeth into the flesh then soothing it with his tongue.

“Take them off” you tell him, voice breathy. As he hooks his fingers into the waistband and pulls the panties down slowly, you push them away when they reach your ankles.

Gasping as bucky's mouth finds your wet core. “Aww baby, you get this wet from reading your filthy letters” he teases.

You frown “No. It's—um—it's because of you” you confess shyly.

He smiles, proud and smug, pressing a chaste kiss to your core. Before his tongue slips out, licking a thick stripe through your warm, wet heat.

You shudder at the feeling.

“Fuck, You taste even better.” He pulls away, looking up at you before diving right back in. Slow teasing licks that make you gasp and chaste kisses that leave you craving for more.

Your hips move on their own. Inching closer to him, chasing more of his tongue. His mouth. “Bucky, please” you whine in frustration as he laps at your pussy, avoiding your clit yet again.

“Begging already? I haven't even touched you properly yet” his voice is low and teasing.

Your eyes narrow at him, feigning annoyanace “Shut —Ahh” your insult is cut off as a moan tears through you when his mouth closes on your clit, suckling slightly.

Your thighs shake where they're held apart by him around his head.

“Bucky—Ahh—just like that” he doubles down at your praise. Pushing two fingers inside of you while he nurses at your clit.

His fingers curl slightly, brushing a spot that makes you see stars. You whimper, already trembling in his arms as bucky's hands find their way to your ass, pulling you closer to his face.

The sound you make is animalistic as bucky picks up the pace. Fingers thrusting faster, mouth suckling harsher.

“Bucky—I'm gonna—”

“Yes, come on my tongue, sweetheart. Let me feel it” he curls his fingers, pressing harder against the spot that makes your hips jerk.

Your orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave. Making every bit of your body shiver as your thighs tighten around his head and you come with a choked gasp.

You're still gasping when he comes up to kiss you. You taste yourself on his tongue and moan into his mouth.

You grab the collar of his shirt, tugging him closer. His hands land on your waist, swiftly sneaking under your shirt to feel the warmth of your skin.

Your fingers make quick work of the buttons of his shirt before letting it fall to the floor while you stare at bucky's bare chest in awe.

You trace your fingers over every ridge of muscle, every scar tissue, every bulging vein, with reverence.

He lets you explore. “Like what you see?”

“I do” you smirk before pressing your lips to the centre of his chest.

You feel a shiver run through his body as he tries to maintain his composure, his hard length pressing against your exposed core through his pants.

Your lips move upwards, tracing the path of your fingers before pressing a kiss to his jawline and closing around his Adam's apple.

He groans and you feel it in your veins like a zap of electricity. Your mouth trails farther, kissing and nipping at his collarbone. His hips rut forward, helplessly, grinding against you.

“I need you inside me bucky” you murmur against his neck, impatient.

“I thought you'd never ask” Bucky groans, pulling away to rid himself of his pants.

Your mouth goes dry when you see him. All of him. His cock is thick and flushed pink. Slightly curved towards his stomach, veins clinging across his shaft.

You reach for him. Stroking slowly. His eyes close, “Don't—don't do that, or this will be over before it starts” he warns when your hold tightens around him.

“Then don't wait.” You inch closer, lining him up.

“You're sure?” He confirms. You nod.

He shakes his head “Words, baby”

“I'm sure bucky. I think I'd die if you don't fuck me now” he chuckles that turns into a choked breath halfway as he eases himself in slowly.

His eyes flutter shut, pulse thundering against your hand where its pressed to his chest. “Fuck” he swears “fuck, baby. You're—you're so tight. I won't last”

“Who said you have to” your reply is earnest “I just want to feel you buck”

“You feel so good, sweet girl” he pushes in slowly “Fuck, never felt anything like you”

You feel the sting of his cock stretch you open and you hide your face in the crook of his neck as he pushes all the way in and stills.

His breath is heaving “I won't move until you say so” his fingers tremble when they get hold of your hand, intertwining with your fingers.

The sting slowly fades into a warm thrumming beneath your bones. You roll your hips experimentally and sparks of pleasure shoot down your spine.

“Move, bucky. Please” you grind harder against him, making him groan before he pulls out almost all the way and sheathes himself back in.

He doesn't find a pace, too lost in pleasure, in you. His thrusts remain ragged and erratic as he tries to hold himself for longer.

His metal palm wanders down to rub tight circles on your clit and you cry out at the sensation.

Your orgasm hits you like lighting. Sudden and overpowering as your vision whites out and you almost scream “James”

The sound that comes out of him is almost a whine when he hears his first name from your mouth. His thrusts grow shallow, breath heaving, heart thundering as he spills inside groaning your name.

By the time you both slump into his chair, your ears are still ringing.

You're nestled on his lap, as he palms your ass in quiet, reverent caresses. He presses warm and chaste kisses to your forehead. Your cheek. Your nose.

“You still with me, sweet girl?” He asks, voice laced with concern and love. You nod against his chest. Tired and boneless.

“You did so good for me” he praises and heat rises to your cheeks yet again. You top your head up, enveloping him a kiss that's sloppy and playful, yet loving all the same.

“I guess getting drunk is not so bad after all” you pull away, smirking slyly.

“Of course not if it ends like this” he agrees slapping your ass playfully. You squeak before breaking into giggles.

“But I have a complaint” bucky states, making you meet his eyes in a serious expression.

“What complaint?” You question

“Next time you want to confess your naughty fantasies, you don't need to write letters.” He winks “you can just tell me” then swiftly adds “we'll recreate it however you want”

You hide your face in his neck with a loud whine, although the way your eyes shine and your lips twitch in a smile, betrays you.

And you think, “Sometimes the dumbest detours are the ones that accidentally lead you straight to the best place.”

A/N : When I tell you I was SUFFERING while writing the smut, it's an understatement. I rewrote it four times and I still think I've done a shit job. I find all the dialogues cringy and the description just feels bleh to me.

I'm so fucking nervous and anxious. If this fic flops, I'm never writing smut again, thank you 😭

Dividers : @dividers-are-us

Tag list : @redstarleftarm, @sweetserendipity65, @sambuckystony, @nymphhbabiee, @darlingdenise, @quantumbarnes, @i-gotta-go-so-much-bigger, @bstan01, @phoenix-in-writing, @singulartoast, @danerb67

Also, the noises coming out of your mouth are quite similar anyway.

Same pitch. Same breathlessness. Same “Yes, that’s the spot, sweetheart - like that?” murmured behind you in that pompous gravelly chuckle that does absolutely nothing to help you separate the two scenarios.

At least this time, it’s his thumbs digging into the knot just under your shoulder blades and not… well. Other places.

You don’t know how he does it.

It’s awful. It’s amazing. It makes you want to cry, make out, confess every fear you’ve ever had since the third grade, and tell him about the time you got lost in a supermarket when you were six and never fully recovered.

(Stepping stone of your abandonment issues, actually. Very formative stuff.)

But instead, you just hum.

And before he can tease you (because you know he will, the moment he realizes you’ve melted into a limp, worshipful little puddle over a shoulder rub), you manage to mumble:

“Can you keep doing this forever?”

Also because - small detail, minor point - he’s pinning you to the mattress with his hips. Like, fully. Whole FBI-agent body weight centered right over the curve of your ass.

And every time he shifts - reaching up to get a better angle, dragging his hands (those large, beautiful hands) up the sides of your spine - his hips roll just slightly forward.

And- yeah. He sort of… rocks against you.

Not on purpose.

(Probably?)

(…Definitely.)

Which would be fine. Totally manageable. Not at all a problem - if it weren’t for the fact that he’s wearing the least fuckable pajamas on Earth… which, of course, makes them ten times more fuckable.

Plain, boring navy bottoms. A matching buttoned top. (Aaron Hotchner cannot survive without buttons. He needs order. He needs structure. Even in REM sleep.)

Classic grandpa cut. V-neck just deep enough to show a scandalous sliver of collarbone you might, unironically, faint over.

(Thankfully, your current view is limited to his bedside table: a vintage old-man lamp that costs more than your phone, and a framed photo of him and his son.)

(Hi, Jack. Sorry for having thoughts about your father.)

Back to the pajamas - the most crucial detail is the fabric.

It’s the softest thing you’ve ever touched. High-thread-count sorcery. Probably imported. Definitely overpriced. Breathable, which is just a fancy way of saying stupidly thin.

Thin enough that when he leans in - presses down - you can feel the shape of his-

…Anyway. You’re getting ideas. (Again, sorry, framed Jack.)

“Not to be paternalistic,” he starts. (It is to be paternalistic. Entirely so. But you’ll allow it. You’ll allow anything, frankly, because for some reason it’s insanely hot when he talks like this.)

“-but you shouldn’t have a back like this at your age.”

“Well, thankfully I’ve got your magic hands to fix it, don’t I?” You smile, turning your head to look back at him, because you’re an idiot who still thinks eye contact might save you.

It doesn’t.

What you get instead is one of his signature sighs - the special not-to-be-paternalistic-but-very-much-is variety that sounds like he’s aging ten years just trying to keep you alive - and then a gently condescending lecture about cervical strain and spinal alignment and how you “can’t just twist your neck around if you actually want this to help,” yada yada-

“I know it doesn’t feel like a big deal now, but these things add up,” yada yada-

“I just-can you please take this seriously? I know you joke, but I’d like you to still be able to stand up straight in ten years.” yada yada, (okay, long-term vision, wow, didn’t know we were doing that now) yada yada-

“Sweetheart”.

All of it delivered in that deeply patronizing, annoyingly hot concerned-professional voice he’s perfected.

The one that should be irritating. Would be irritating, If it weren’t currently paired with both his hands kneading down your back, thumbs sinking into that dangerously tender spot just above your hips.

(You would roll your eyes, but you’ve just been told that’s a cervical risk. So you moan into the pillow instead. Respectfully.)

“Breathe through it,” he says. And you do. Immediately. Obediently.

Because he says it so kindly that you have to keep reminding yourself – repeatedly - that he actually cares about your spinal health, and is not, in fact, secretly calculating how many ways you could arch your hips to grind back against his very conveniently located crotch.

(You are. You’re calculating. You’re the problem.)

“Yeah, that’s a good one. Keep doing this,” he says, as his thumbs keep moving - maybe in circles, maybe up and down - you honestly couldn’t say. You’ve lost all grip on spatial awareness.

All you know is there’s a pulsing, needy little bundle of nerves between your legs now demanding attention.

Especially when he comments, right as his fingers glide just above your ass-

“You’re really tight here.” Sir (GN). Be serious. “You should start being a bit more mindful about your posture.”

And with just those few words, your clit - tired, neglected, and frankly done with being emotionally sidelined - decides it’s going to take what it can get.

If a proper orgasm isn’t on the table, a slightly patronizing lecture from Aaron Hotchner about spinal health will have to do.

It politely raises a hand. Submits a request to speak. The brain, overwhelmed and half-fried from continuous exposure to his voice, approves it immediately.

So you ask, way too casually for what it actually means:

“Could you go lower?”

“Lower?” he repeats, taunting, as his hands pause their tantric little routine before gliding under your waist and flipping you over onto his orthopedic mattress.

Now you’re face-to-face with him.

Arms crossed. Brows furrowed. That specific, sharpened brand of exasperation he reserves only for you - his favorite little headache (how romantic of him) - comes today with a bonus layer of disbelief.

Because Best-Profiler-Or-Whatever-Goddamn-Award-He-Just-Won-Again 2012 (the year's not over, but if the Bureau doesn’t give him another brass plaque to add to the terrifying shrine of ego and martyrdom he keeps in his office, he might actually cry) has officially clocked that the look in your – probably very dilated - eyes says one thing and one thing only:

Fuck me. (So Shakespearian.)

Still, since profiling is such a complex job –

(Or so he claims, usually while humblebragging about how he reads murderers for a living, yet somehow still can’t figure out the real reason you keep staring at his hands-)

so many factors, so many nuances, every twitch, every blink, every micro expression a breadcrumb-

So, you, being the considerate, emotionally generous person that you are, decide to spare him the effort. You remove all ambiguity, wrap your legs around his waist, and pull him in.

(Also: your boobs are out. The top of your pajama set’s currently sitting neatly folded on the far bedside table, placed there with care by none other than the Sexy Masseuse Extraordinaire himself.)

(You can’t turn to look at it. If you twist your neck, he’ll scold you. But you know it’s there.)

(So yes. #FreeTheNipple could easily be Exhibit B. Another little clue in the ever-growing case file of She Wants Me. Please, Aaron. Be thorough. File it under Intent.)

And apparently, he does.

Because without you saying a single word, he exhales - through his cutest, slightly uneven nostrils (and probably a deviated septum he refuses to get checked out) - and mutters, incredulous:

“Again?!”

Ah. Yes. Again.

Because to be fair, it is technically true that the second Aaron walked through the door - still suited up, still rumpled from the flight, fresh off a three-day case on the West Coast - the only greeting he got was a breathless “I missed you,” right before you yanked him down by the tie and onto his own couch to physically demonstrate that you (unlike him, [sometimes]) actually mean what you say.

So moved were you by his presence that you completely forgot to do the one basic thing required of anyone with even a shred of shame or social awareness:

Close. The. Curtains.

(You keep forgetting there’s an entire wing of Aaron’s apartment complex that has a front-row seat to his living room. Practically panoramic… oh- hi, Linda from 154.)

But it’s fine. It’s fine.

You fixed it.

You skipped the full nudity part and went for the most logistically respectful option: unzipping just his fly, just enough to free what you needed. Nothing more.

Just the essentials.

Just a fully dressed woman bouncing on a fully dressed man’s lap.

You’re pretty sure that doesn’t count as public indecency. (It’s basically PG-12. Glee’s airing worse on national television every Tuesday at 8/7c and that show’s somehow still going. So really, you’re fine. This is fine. Society has seen worse.)

…You also really, really hope no one saw it in the first place. You tell yourself no one saw it.

You keep telling yourself that, even as your brain starts tallying how many windows overlook this very couch. (Six. There are six. Possibly seven. And that woman on the third floor with the poodle - she definitely saw something. She always does.)

Those people didn’t see that your panties were still on - just pushed to the side, soaked through, clinging to your thigh.

Didn’t see the way your mouth fell open when you sank down onto his cock, gasping from the stretch, from the fuck yes finally of being full again.

Didn’t see his head fall back against the couch, eyes shut, the half-muttered “Jesus Christ” he left when your hips started rolling.

They didn’t see the way your thighs trembled when he grabbed your hips, then your waist, then your thighs again like he couldn’t decide where to hold you hardest, just knew he needed to keep you going.

Didn’t hear the noise he made when you grabbed a fistful of his tie for leverage, just to stay upright while he hit so fucking deep.

And they definitely didn’t hear the way your moan cracked when his mouth brushed your ear and he muttered: “Been thinking about this the whole damn flight.”

Three hours. He sat in a government plane, in slacks, probably surrounded by spreadsheets and murder, and still somewhere over Colorado, he was hard and thinking about you.

“I missed you,” you really mean it. (Yes, you want to fuck him. Obviously. But it’s also starting to feel like the reason you’re so desperate for his body is because being without him hurts a little more than it should.)

“That’s what you said in the shower,” he reminds you. (Oh. Right. The shower. The one that happened immediately after the couch.) “And on the bathroom sink.” Ah. Yes. You’d offered to blowdry his hair, but something else got blown first. (Priorities.) “Don’t you think that’s enough for tonight?”

He basically looks at you like you’re the most beloved disaster he’s ever encountered.

Fond - yes.

Amused - definetely.

Also very much trying not to laugh. He even bites his lip to hold it back.

Veeeery humbling experience.

And still, he leans in over you and locks his lips with yours - sweet enough to excuse how annoyingly chaste it feels. You start to pull him back in but he detours to your cheek instead, lingering there.

“You’re adorable,” he pities you. “Now please could you turn back over?”

Choking yourself with the pillow suddenly sounds like a fantastic plan. You eye it. You consider the logistics. You’re halfway to asphyxiating yourself into emotional amnesia when he leans in and kisses your shoulder.

Then the other. (Symmetry. He’s disgusting.)

You brace for his hands on your back, but it’s his mouth instead.

Starting at the nape of your neck, he works his way down your spine, lips dragging wet and slow. Every kiss sinks into your skin like he’s trying to rewrite your nervous system from the top down, rearranging your fucked-up muscles better than his actual massage ever could.

And he doesn’t stop.

Not even when his fingers hook into the waistband of your pajama pants and start easing them down - his mouth just keeps going, picking up exactly where the fabric leaves off.

You still get butterflies at the stupidly familiar feel of his calloused palms skimming down your thighs, knuckles brushing bare skin as he peels your bottoms away.

Could be excitement. Could be the fact that he’s been edging you for what feels like a fiscal quarter. Could be because you’re head over heels for him and refusing to deal with it. (Unclear. Not investigating.)

Anyways, Aaron - sweet, disciplined Aaron - folds your PJ pants, sets them neatly on top of your already-abandoned top on the bedside table (it was only a matter of time, that poor top’s been waiting for backup all night), and then immediately dives back in mouth-first (correction: teeth-first) sinking a bite right into the peak of your ass.

One side, then the other. (The man really loves symmetry.)

Groaning into your skin as you gasp his name - only for him to shut it down halfway through (fuck him, really) - he slides one arm beneath your hips, the other draping heavy across your thighs, and manhandles you into place in one smooth (hot) motion on all fours.

Ass up, panties still on (and very much soaked through).

It’s… a moment.

You crane your neck, scrambling for words - something clever, something linguistically adult - but what fries every functioning synapse isn’t just the way he’s staring at the soaked spot on your underwear;

It’s the way his pupils visibly dilate when he catches the barest glint of your cunt beneath it.

And still, he manages to outdo himself.

Because Aaron Hotchner’s greatest talent - aside from his intellect, that weirdly specific dry humor only you laugh at, and, of course, the mouthwatering, life-altering, holy-shit-that-thing-has-weight dick he’s somehow just casually lugging around - it’s his uncanny ability to always state the obvious.

“You’re soaked…” he murmurs. “You already fucked me and you’re still soaked.”

(There’s just something in Aaron saying that you fucked him…Call it power-hungry. Call it praise kink. Call it whatever.)

“Shit, say it again.” You just want his voice. More of it. Inside you, around you, anywhere.

You gasp as he hums straight into the damp fabric of your panties “Smug little thing… Let’s see how long it lasts.”

Then he drags his face down, nuzzling his nose along your glistening slit – catching every slick ridge through the soaked cotton, barely giving you any pressure, just enough to make you momentarily twitch.

He doesn’t bother teasing – just goes straight for your clit, flushed and throbbing, and latches on.

Mouth open. Tongue flat.

You start cursing everything.

Cursing the fabric of your panties he still hasn’t moved aside.

Cursing the way the soaked cotton catches every flick of his tongue – turning each pass into friction and making everything worse.

Cursing yourself for the sound you make when he moans into you – mouth hot and hungry – and yanks your hips closer like he can’t fucking help himself.

Grips your ass, fills both palms, pulls you tighter to his face until there’s nowhere for you to go – nowhere for you to run – nothing you can do but take it.

He’s drinking you. He sucks your slick through the fabric, letting it saturate his tongue, then releases your nub with a wet, obscene pop just to do it again.

Then again. And again.

Clicks his tongue just to hear the sound it makes against your cunt.

Right when you think you might actually die from how deliberately he’s taking his sweet time, he finally peels the fabric to the side.

(Thank God.)

“Fuck, Aaron-” you choke, fisting the sheets as he dives into your into your hole.

You were so fucking wrong.

His real talent isn’t stating the obvious.

It’s the way he makes out with your cunt, making you clench against him, and that molten heat already begins to gather low in your stomach.

“You taste better every fucking time. God, I missed you,” he mutters, one hand pressing into the small of your back to hold you down, the other spreading your ass so his tongue has more room to work and can slide deeper.

He fucks you with it.

Pushes in, pulls back, then he drags himself back up to your clit and just… goes feral. A combination you’re 100% sure he makes up on the spot, yet it’s somehow the exact cheat code to your nervous system.

You start grinding against his face, chasing friction like it’s oxygen, needy for whatever the hell that is until your thighs are trembling and your brain has officially vacated the premises.

The only word(s) you manage to hold onto is-

“Aaron- Aaron, please-”

Not your best work. Not ideal.

You should specify - to Mr. Old Man™ - that after please, there was going to be don’t stop.

But instead, it comes out half-strangled, choked off by the groan you let loose as he pulls away too fast, too soon, leaving you gasping face-first into a very wet, very real patch of drool on the mattress.

(It’s cooling against your chin now. Disgusting.)

You writhe, still aching, still pulsing, your body practically begging for his mouth, his nose, his fucking tongue - anything to fill the hot, miserable emptiness between your legs - until his hand wraps around the back of your neck (shit. fuck. shit), lifting you way too easily.

(Maybe because he’s strong. Maybe because you’re fully limp with desperation. Maybe because you don’t resist even a little bit. Hard to say.)

He pulls your spine upright, presses you back against his chest and crashes his mouth to yours.

And as he groans into your mouth, his whole face glistening with your arousal, smearing messily against your cheek, his cock presses between your folds, dragging through the soaked disaster he made of you.

The thick, swollen head - already leaking with precum - bumps against your clit as he grinds forward, dragging through your slick with just enough pressure to make your breath hitch, a choked moan catching halfway in your throat…

…Right as his fingers start to curl around it.

Soft. Careful. Too careful. Like his hand landed there on instinct and now he’s realizing it, hesitating, trying not to make it a thing (which, joke’s on him, it already is).

(Also, if he could go ahead and press those thick, possessive, chubby-ass fingers a little deeper into your neck- yeah. That’d be ideal. Five stars.)

So, probably in a noble act of distraction (or self-preservation), Aaron starts to push in.

That first stretch.

That toe-curling burn you never fully prepare for. The one that drags your body open inch by inch like he’s carving a space only he gets to fill. And you adore it. You crave it like a sickness.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, mouth grazing your jaw. “I couldn’t resist.” And another kiss, “I need to fuck you properly so you don’t wake me up begging for it again.”

(If he keeps holding your neck like that while saying shit like that, you’re definitely waking him up again. With your mouth. Or your thighs.)

You decide to clench around him in reply (how generous of you - really, public service) - tight enough that you know he’s furrowing his brows right now, trying so hard not to let out one of those high-pitched, desperate little whimpers that would completely shatter the illusion of his usual Important Serious Man™ composure.

“Mmm, sweetheart,” he groans, dragging in deeper until he’s finally fully seated inside of you, buried to the hilt. “You’re not even trying to hide it, are you? Squeezing me like that…”

He should really be speaking for himself, considering the thing twitching inside you just because it’s lucky enough to be nestled inside you is his cock, not yours.

And sure, he starts rocking into you all slow and deliberate, hips rolling against the swell of your ass like he thinks he can distract you with rhythm alone, but it’s textbook deflection.

(Hotchner: 1 – You: 0. For now.)

“Aaron-” you gasp, barely coherent, because fuck, you’re full. Like - can’t think, can’t breathe, forgot-Aaron’s-home-wifi-password kind of full.

(Which is annoying, because you were just about to remember it. It was something long and unnecessarily specific, like JHotchnerILoveAmerica65 or JackRules2012.)

(AHotchnerNet_3G_guest_home_office?)

(QuanticoSecure_LinkV2?) Nope. That’s the Bureau one. (You may or may not have shamelessly stolen their bandwidth to watch YouTube videos in his office the first time you visited - sitting on that black leather guest chair, legs swinging, waiting for him to come out of some high-stakes consult.)

(Ugh, come on, you almost had it. It’s the one with the weird numbers… Jack’s birthday? No, that was the old one, the one you used to mooch off before he got weird about network security after that article in The Atlantic.)

(Was it Hotchner_Home_8347_SECURE_VPNLOCKED? Or was that the printer? What was it?)

(Wait - is he 7.5 inches? 8? 8.5?! Feels like that but you’re way too biased.)

“Oh fuck-” Your nails bite into the solid curve of his bicep, your back arches on instinct - no thought involved, just muscle memory screaming yes, like that, and your body goes soft over his, melting like heat’s finally overtaken every vertebrae you’ve got.

Boneless. Useless. Yours now comes with a floppy warranty.

He notices, so he wraps his other arm tight around your waist, keeping you upright. “Yes, honey? You like that? Is that what you’re trying to say? Or-.” A sharper thrust. “Do you need me to go harder already?”

Not accepting your whimper as an answer, he goes harder anyway.

White-hot static floods your brain, sparking behind your eyes. You lose track of sound, of sense, of everything but the slap-slap-slap of skin on skin, that becomes even louder than the creaky-ass wooden antique bedframe Aaron refuses to replace.

(Yes, it was expensive. Yes, he insists it’s historical. Yes, it’s probably haunted. No, you do not care. Louis XIV himself could rise from the dead and tell you it’s a collector’s piece, you’re still letting Aaron split you in half on it.)

“Do you feel it?” he asks.

You know what he means. Doesn’t even need to say it.

Especially when his hand tightens just that little bit more around your throat - enough to blur the edges, enough to make your cunt flutter in a grateful little thank you because that was literally what you were about to beg for and this man just read your goddamn mind and saved you the humiliation-

“Well- it’s- fuck yes, right th- it’s kind of impossible not to, isn’t it?”

Wrong answer, apparently.

Because it earns you exactly zero gold stars and a one-way ticket to being shoved face-first into the mattress, his palm flat on your back.

(Or maybe he’s just decided he won’t be satisfied until you’re properly, thoroughly, professionally fucked dumb, until the only thing your brain can process, let alone say, is his name.)

“Lift your hips,” he instructs.

“What-”

“Just do it.”

You do. Of course you do. Because you are weak and unprincipled and you like it when he uses his dad voice.

(Sorry, framed Jack. Not your dad dad. Like- authority figure dad. Weird to explain. Just- sorry Jack.)

He reaches for the pillow from his side of the bed (naughty… part of you hopes he doesn’t bother changing the case afterward, just so he can fall asleep every night wrapped in the scent of your sex… but then again, you’re talking about Aaron, so he'll probably sanitize it twice and iron it back into place) and slides it beneath your stomach.

“There. Better angle for your back,” he mutters.

“Are you fucking kidding me… oh fuck- my back?” You try to mock him, but all you can think is that this stupid orthopedic pillow just shoved him even deeper.

He’s drilling into you so hard, so fucking perfectly, that all you can focus on is how thick he is - how every goddamn ridge, every pulsing vein, every inch of him is dragging against your walls and hitting your spot every single time.

Somehow, you’re still not used to how deep he gets. Still not over the fact that he fits like this, that he fucks like this. That he’s that deep. That much.

You start thinking you should give him a little plaque.

A nice, shiny, brassy “Deepest Stroke Award: Best Dick 2012” kind of thing. Stick it right next to his Bureau commendations so everyone that steps into his office knows he’s that good.

So good that as he angles himself even better (you didn’t even know that was possible), you don’t even hear the bedframe anymore.

(Which is convenient, because next time he wakes you up at 3 a.m. - all apologetic and sleepy and sweet, muttering “sorry, sweetheart, I just need to turn over, please go back to sleep” while trying not to make it creak - you’re gonna tell him to just flip you over and fuck you like this until you both go deaf. Sleep like babies. Problem solved.)

You’re gasping, whimpering, face buried in the mattress, fingers curled so tight in the sheets they might tear, and Aaron has the audacity -the actual fucking balls (which, by the way, are slapping against your clit with every thrust and fuck, they feel incredible… justice for balls, truly) - to tut at you.

“Sweetheart, you’re collapsing your shoulders again, try to pull them back. Keep the neck long.”

You try to lift yourself. You really do. But your arms are jelly, your spine’s gone to hell, and your entire body is preoccupied with coming apart on his cock.

Still, his big, warm hand spreads flat over the center of your back as he straightens you out. “Come on, sweetheart. Don’t make me correct your posture and fuck you… engage here.”

(Which is ironic. Because right now? He’s doing both flawlessly.)

“Trying,” you pant.

“Oh, I can see you’re trying,” he mutters, and somehow it’s affectionate and condescending and it should make you furious but instead your cunt clenches yet again like it wants to say thank you, sir.

He shifts his hips and pushes in deeper, angling just right and you see white.

Just white. No thoughts. No gods. No laws. Just the smug chuckle he lets out as your mouth drops open and a sound escapes that isn’t even a word anymore.

“Poor thing,” he coos as his pretentious mouth brushes your spine. “Clenching around me like that and still trying to impress me with your form. You can’t even hold yourself up, sweetheart. That’s adorable.”

“Why do you have to be such an asshole? Can’t you just say one of those stupid cheesy things you tell me all the other times?”

He kisses your shoulder. “Because for some reason,” he murmurs, lazy and devastating, “we both know why this turns you on more.”

It’s because you watch too much porn when he’s away. That’s what it is. That’s the problem. You look for the perfect video, scrolling through every possible variation of "older man, authoritative voice, hairy chest, forehead lines, kind of sad but knows how to eat pussy."

Trying to find a man with his exact nose. His exact voice. His exact cock.

But you never find it. You never find him.

And you’re too chickenshit to ask him to just send you a video of himself fucking his fist - because he’s probably doing something more important, like saving Gotham or shooting an active shooter - and you don’t want to be the reason he gets sidetracked while stroking his lenght in a government office. (…Though, the idea is… not bad.)

So instead, you settle. Again.

You open one of those copy-paste porn videos made for men who think women are doormats with vocal fry, and let it play. Same limp dialogue. Same dead-eyed expressions. Same choreographed humiliation kink that somehow makes you feel like the one being punished.

And still, it doesn’t work. Because Aaron Hotchner has fucked up your brain chemistry to such a degree that other men just don’t do it anymore. You slap the laptop shut to end up staring at that blurry pic you took of him coaching Jack’s football game. (Sorry, Jack.)

He’s just in a bland T-shirt. Biceps hulking under cotton. Arms crossed. Whistle hanging from his neck like he’s about to say something inspirational and slightly disappointed.

That’s the reason.

(...Or maybe it’s just that nothing on this godforsaken Earth turns you on more than when he tells you what to do - precisely how to take it, exactly how to behave - even though you’ve spent an embarrassing amount of mental energy convincing yourself that enjoying that somehow makes you less of a feminist, like Simone de Beauvoir’s going to rise from the grave and revoke your womanhood because you like being manhandled by a man in overpriced pajamas.)

(Yeah… it’s definitely because you watch way too much porn.)

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you lie.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his hand sliding back up to your throat, palm pressing lightly, thumb stroking under your jaw as you try to mumble something broken and vowel-heavy that you’re pretty sure started as his name. “Oh…” Aaron chuckles, putting two and two together. “So this is what you want?”

“Hnngh…” you try, but he slaps your ass. (You swear to God, the next time he walks in front of you on a staircase, you’re smacking him. Right there. Mid-step. He will be humbled. You will have your revenge.) “Yes. Yes. Just- just stay there.”

“Here where?”

“Shut up.”

Another slap.

Another involuntary moan. (Still. Stairs, Hotchner.)

“No, but seriously - your back. You sit like shit. You fuck like a dream, but Jesus, I’m gonna send you to physical therapy myself if you keep collapsing your shoulders like that.”

You whimper into the pillow. Your clit’s caught between the pillow and your cunt clenches hard, slick dripping down your thighs, and you don’t know if you’re closer because of the way he’s choking you or the fact that he just corrected your posture.

“Could you – fuck – could you just talk more?” (There it is. Your final shred of dignity. Cashed. Spent. Gone.)

He hums behind you. “Oh, now you want feedback?” Then he leans down, and suddenly you’re wearing him – coarse salt-and-pepper chest hair scraping your slick back, the full weight of him pushing you down as his cock punches so deep into you, you have to roll your eyes back.

“You want me to tell you how fucking good you feel?” he grits, hips picking up pace, snapping harder now.

You’re not really in the conditions to answer.

Your mouth is open but your brain has blue-screened, locked in a loop of oh my God oh my God oh my fuc-

“God, look at you,” he groans, almost in disbelief, hand splaying across your upper back to keep you down, to stop your writhing. “Making a mess all over my cock. You’re dripping. Absolutely soaking me.”

And oh… you feel it.

The soaked patch you’ve been leaving on the pyjama pants he didn’t even bother taking off - just shoved down far enough to fuck you properly - slapping wetly against your skin every time he drives in.

(You’re naked. He’s half-dressed. Fully dressed, actually…)

“You’re doing so well, sweetheart,” he huffs, and oh - his voice cracks. He’s close. Good. (That’s so hot.) “Taking me so well. Still gripping me like it’s the first time. Letting me fuck you this- this deep- Jesus Christ-“ (Amen.) “I can feel every goddamn pulse-”

His hand slides from your spine to your throat - tightens just enough to send your body into full siren-mode panic, only to twist it into white-hot bliss a second later.

And then the other sneaks between your thighs, fingers already soaked in you, finding your clit like he’s done it a thousand times (you’re still in the double digits) and starts circling. . Fast. Messy. Precise.

The kind of perfect that short-circuits thought. That makes your jaw go slack. That makes your breath catch on the edge of something that isn’t quite a moan, or a cry, or-

It almost slips out.

That thing.

The three-word, soul-ruining thing people only say when they’re either very brave or very stupid. And right now, with his fingers rubbing you and his cock still buried so deep it feels like belonging, you’re dangerously close to being both.

“F-fuck, Aaron-”

“I’ve got you. Let go, sweetheart.”

And you do.

You break. Your thighs tremble, your back arches involuntarily (and Aaron’s too far gone to lecture you about spinal integrity now), and your moan turns guttural and ugly as your orgasm crashes through you - pulling his name from your throat

You clamp down so hard around him he curses, jaw clenched, hips jerking once, twice, then he’s there too.

Hot, deep, choking on his breath as he thrusts into the tight clutch of your pulsing cunt, burying himself to the hilt, spilling inside you in rough, thick spurts that have your body jolting again from the aftershocks.

He groans into your shoulder, mouth open, teeth grazing skin, hips still twitching through the aftershocks - every helpless pulse of him inside you dragging another ripple of heat down your spine, through your thighs, and eventually, shamefully, down onto the sheets.

He doesn’t pull out.

Doesn’t move, really, except to press his chest tighter against your back, as if he’s trying to stay in your skin. Like if he lets go, something might slip - out of him, out of you, out of whatever the hell this is.

His breathing is still a bit ragged, hot and damp against your shoulder, and you feel his lips brush there, once, then again - barely a kiss, just contact.

Just reassurance. Just him not knowing how else to say I needed that. Instead it’s just words not meant to be heard - just soft, scattered nothings that don’t quite form sentences, all of them pressed into your skin.

"You're okay,"

"Got you,"

"So good, baby..."

Over and over. Sweet. Ruined. Honest.

Your chest hurts.

Because he means it.

He’s not thinking about it, he’s just being. And it’s the most terrifyingly beautiful thing he’s ever done to you. You need to ruin it.

“FUCK, that was incredible. Where did you keep all of that?!”

He pauses. You can feel him trying not to laugh.

You roll onto your side, gasping. “No, like, WOW. Wow wow wow, Aaron. Wow. Who are you? What was that? Have you been holding out? Were you possessed? Should I call someone? Is there a hotline?”

You watch the faint blush creep across his cheek as he pushes up onto his elbows, runs a hand through his post-sex hair (sexier than pre-sex hair, somehow), and exhales the most exasperatedly fond sound you’ve ever heard.

“Please don’t call anyone.”

These moments - when he completely misses a joke that any normal adult would clock instantly - really do make you want to climb him like a tree all over again.

But what really gets you? What sets your neurons on fire and your soul on its knees?

The phenomenon - still unstudied, tragically overlooked by science - in which post-sex Aaron becomes the most meticulous, terrifyingly competent man alive.

He doesn’t hesitate. Just materializes a warm cloth from nowhere (possibly interdimensional?), cleans you up with it, straightens the sheets, fluffs the pillows, and tucks you in.

You don’t even know when he grabbed his glasses, but suddenly they’re on his face and you’re on his chest, half-sitting, draped over him.

You might feel shame for being so clingy if he ever said anything about it. But he never does. Not even a snide little quip. Just those small, fond huffs that suggest he’s mostly annoyed at himself for enjoying this so much.

Or, like now, he reaches calmly into his go-bag and pulls out what is undeniably the driest, dustiest, most textbook-looking book you've ever seen in your life.

“Sorry,” he says, settling back against the headboard. “I’ve just got a few chapters left… do you want to pretend to be reading with me?”

Wise choice of words, Agent Hotchner.

Because what you really want is to drown yourself in his pheromones and rub your cheek on his chest hair until your responsibilities disintegrate.

“Wearing those,” you sigh dreamily, eyeing the glasses, the page, the stupid peaceful look on his face, “you can do anything you’d like.”

He shakes his head - fond. Touched.

Probably regretting all his life choices, but not enough to stop.

He flips open the tome, rests it against one bent knee, and starts reading. His finger glides up to his lips every time he turns a page, like he’s savoring each one. Every now and then, he adjusts his glasses.

You watch in awe.

Reverence.

…Horniness.

So you just keep kissing him. Aimless, endless little things - his jaw, his neck, his shoulder, the back of his ear - any patch of skin within a lazy head-turn radius gets worshipped.

“Wow. Wow wow. Aaron. Wow. Wowowowowow.”

He doesn’t even flinch.

Just keeps reading, completely unbothered.

Occasionally hums.

If you’re lucky, he presses a kiss into your hair or the side of your temple - never rushed, always lingering, like he’s sealing something in.

Or if he just does that because he’s an old fuck and that’s how they taught knights to kiss their trembling maidens back in the 1500s.

He looks so… peaceful. Way too peaceful.

Which is immediately suspicious.

You open your mouth, just about to ask, “Can we do it again?” when, without even glancing up from the page, he slides the hand resting on your waist down.

Dips straight into your PJ pants, then your underwear.

Your mouth falls open. Nothing comes out.

Not even the question. He’s already answered it.

He exhales through his nose - completely unbothered - as his index finger starts stroking your clit in the slowest lazy little patterns.

Like fingering you under a blanket mid-biography is just his evening chore before tea and chapter seven. Like he’s got all night. (He probably does.)

(You can’t even moan yet. You’re too busy trying to process the fact that he’s still reading.)

And then, instead of simply licking a finger to turn the page like a normal person, he brings two of those thick fingers to his mouth.

He sucks on them, eyes still fixed on the text, lips closed around his fingers as he coats them in spit. And without ever lifting his gaze, he sinks them deep into you - curling just enough to make your thighs tense around him.

“You think I don’t know the real reason you’re always staring at my hands?”

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