beck

Parents having more than one gay son is always so fucking funny to me like. Your mom is a faggot factory

man with loophole fetish facing criminal charges gets off on a technicality

nathan fielder

sleater kinney on the idea board in the new everybody’s live article oh so much drool just came out of my mouth.

i got a notif for this post for some reason as if tumblr knew i sent it to ridley

Imagine having dinner all by yourself shoveling rice into your mouth with chopsticks one grain at a time after having an argument with your in-house brain surgeon and then Elon Musk comes up to your table like "hi I'm Elon Musk"

maybe this time picking at Textures on my skin will lead to being silky smooth

bleeding

TO THE EXTENT THAT I WEAR SKIRTS AND CHEAP NYLON SLIPS, I’VE GONE NATIVE. I WANTED TO KNOW THE EXACT DIMENSIONS OF HELL. DOES THIS SOUND SIMPLE? FUCK YOU! ARE YOU FOR SALE? DOES FUCK YOU SOUND SIMPLE ENOUGH? THIS WAS THE ONLY PART THAT TURNED ME ON. BUT HE WAS CANDY ALL OVER