mudthingblog

Hey man, I saw your living weapon staring at its reflection. You might wanna get that looked at

Yeah, your emotionless tool of destruction is beginning to develop a sense of self. Probably nothing to worry ‘bout though

nichole rcbg is so fascinating to me because she's developed this fairly realistic (i mean. within the confines of rcbg yknow. realistic in the scope of the setting) sort of...terrible coping mechanism?? a bend in the way her brain works??? unless i was misreading some heavy subtext (could happen!) she sexually engaged with emmy first. she's the one who turned their stupid as fuck mentor/mentee relationship sexual, by flirting first and then following her to her room to start a d/s thing where she's (in her own words) domming as discount laura. yeah, emmy objectified her (due to the b in rcbg metrics) she's far from 'blameless' in this, but nichole escalated, and apparently they're straight up in a d/s enemies with benefits thing now. and honestly this legendary crashout is a breath of fresh air bc i so rarely read about female characters reacting this way to the absolute vortex of misogyny and objectification and being viewed as sexually desirable in a misogynistic landscape and being put on a pedestal that women in her social position experience like yeah!! she's being reduced to her body and it's desirable attributes, of course she starts seeing herself as 'a pair of grabbable tits' and starts initiating sexual encounters preemptively because that's what she feels her use is, an object to titillate. and she feels disgusting about it afterwards, but she doesnt stop. possibly she can't. she might feel like she's 'doing it to keep emmy in check' or 'doing it to get emmy off her back' (how deeply fucked up that is!! she feels - and is tbh - used!) but she's the one who initiated the dynamic that emmy is responding to. and that's making me rethink her (atrocious) sexual behaviour towards katherine where she hit it and quit it repeatedly or was having kathy blow her while watching anime or whatever. sexual fantasies that nichole believes katherine should have. sexual fantasies that nichole believes are katherines that she's merely fulfilling. sucking her off at the drag ball in lieu of having a frank conversation. having sex with rupali but framing it as rupali fucking HER instead of a thing people do together. woman categorically incapable of taking responsibility and ownership of any urges she might posses having her mind further muddied by what society at large is signaling to her about her body. obviously all this is further amplified with/complicated by her being a trans woman in transmisogynistic society but reacting that way to those factors is something that happens to cis women as well and yet i rarely see it in fiction lmao

#i'd daresay it runs older and deeper than her objectification#because the thought processes on the page are remarkably easy for me to fall into#nichole seems to fundamentally believe that she has no agency in any given relationship or situation#she is -- even when proactively pursuing a goal -- behaves as if she is merely responding to something she has no real control over#part of the unpersoning of (white) transfems that i've observed starts VERY early#well before anyone knows or suspects#masculinity has a chilling effect on those it does not speak to but have not thought to escape it#especially if you are even slightly aware of the power and privilege your presumed manhood (and/or whiteness) grants you#so instead of posturing like you're expected to you roll over#you expose your belly and relinquish power in a relationship#and you're ridiculed for it#you are socially degendered for it#but it is far easier to stomach than playing the part#and that bleeds into your sense of agency and poisons it so horrifically#that eventually you infantilize yourself#a trained helplessness that makes you easy to exploit#and unable to recognize your own self-determination and responsibility#you perceive yourself as a cipher for all others who is blameless for all consequences#you are already in your own mind barely more than an object#and it makes becoming The Slut™ so ridiculously easy once you realize and begin presenting as a woman#that is now your role as the submissive item. the thing to drool over. the thing to fuck#idk it was hard enough keeping my brain in order for this much so who knows if i'm cooking anything#or just seeing ghosts#rcbg#reblog (via duskwingmoth) oooooooh id say youre cooking since katherine (and nichole to an extent) talks about nichole pre'rcbg like shes sleepwalking through her own life

i know you're a biologist and i'm sure you know more about beavers than me, but aren't they hugely beneficial for their local ecosystems in a number of ways? fostering biodiversity, creating more habitats, preventing water loss to the point that reintroducing beavers in the american southwest is an ongoing strategy to combat desertification?imagining them as miniature imperialists seems wrong when they're functionally closer to utopian engineers (regardless that they don't act out of human morals either way).

This is what having auditory processing issues is like.

you can't even stitch various body parts together to create a man anymore. due to woke

SO, WHEN THE MULTIVERSE STARTS CREATING BRIDGES BETWEEN PLANES ALL BY ITSELF, IT'S TOTALLY FINE AND WE BUILD A LITTLE RACE AROUND IT. BUT WHEN I, NICOL BOLAS

SO, WHEN BICOL NOLAS OVER HERE IS MAKING HIS STUPID PLANAR BRIDGE TO RIP APART THE PLANAR BOUNDARIES TO CAST HIS ELDERSPELL TO GET BACK HIS FORMER GLORY, HE GETS HIS OWN COMFY LITTLE SANCTUM AND A TIME OUT. BUT WHEN I, ELESH NORN

WE'MRAKUL ARE'MRAKUL EMRAKUL

Fundamentally I think a massive mistake that people make when engaging with trans discourse is assuming that everyone else is just as white and global northern as they are.

Like my entire existence just isnt accounted for half the time. Entire views on transgender politics and dynamics that does not properly account for what its like to be racialized at all.

White trans people will see statistics on trans deaths and think it’s about them and not the Black and Latine trans women that make up the vast majority of premature trans deaths.