Welcome to the Universe

Aragorn was born to be a king and knew this his entire life. He struggled with it, rebelled against it, and then finally realized it was his destiny. No one in Star Wars is an Aragorn.

Din Djarin was never born to be a king, and he never considered that he would be one. If Din is anyone, he is King Arthur, a person who performed an extraordinary task to win a powerful sword.

The idea that the story was not setting Din up to be a leader is ridiculous, though, because in all three seasons and The Book of Boba Fett, we see Din as an effective leader. In several episodes and across the story arc, Din brings people together to fight and win unlikely battles. He manages to diplomatically get different groups to work together. He comes up with the plans that will take advantage of everyone's best skills. He puts himself in positions of extreme vulnerability because he knows it's what they need to win. He also manages to pull off some incredible moves of his own that just make everyone go. "Wow! That dude is awesome!" Din does all this while still being respectful and kind to the point where at the end of the battle, the people in the group are willing to follow him anywhere if he asks.

Aragorn's story isnt just a man who doesnt want to be king. Aragorn's story is about realizing he can do better then the kings and men who failed before him. Arwen summarizes his story arc perfectly when she tells him "You are Isildur's heir, not Isildur himself." He isn't unwilling to become King, he is afraid he will fail at defeating the darkness like those before him.

Din, was never born for any great fate. He was born a normal boy to normal parents, and even as he grew up never was expected for greatness.

It wasn't until he meets Grogu does something in him begin to change and grow, and we see that in order for Din to truly protect him as a father he ends up having to become a leader.

What makes a good reluctant leader arc, is when a character recognizes he doesn't want to be a leader, but realizes that he is meant to be. That the people aroung them already look to him as a leader and that he has to learn to want it. He has to learn to want this as a duty because everyone else already is looking to him like he is.

Everyone follows Din. In season 2 especially Din is the one who everyone follows to rescue Grogu. No one would or could have ever done this without him, and even though the plan sounds insane? They trust him.

Mayfield is the perfect example of why Din already is seen as a leader. These two have no reason to get along and Mayfield has every right to tell Din to go to hell since he is the reason he's in prison. But by the end of the episode, Mayfield not only followed Din to success, but actively change his mind about him and killed the men in that room trying to almost atone for the fact that everyone had to see his face for this to work. Mayfield doesn't end this episode bantering about how this almost didn't work or this was stupid hope its worth it. No he just ends it with respect for Din and willingly accepts going back to prison because ultimately he feels like following Din was a worthy thing to do for a once bad man like himself.

Din getting the darksaber through a fight with a man who multiple times tried to kidnap and murder his son, is the reason we all saw this as a sign he deserves to be a leader. He didn't do it for glory or gain, he triumphed on his own merit as a man and the audience understands that its that which is the quality of a leader people want to follow.

Din works as a reluctant leader eventually finding himself as the leader of Mandalore because he didn't seek it out. He naturally proved himself and gained this position through nothing but pure emotional merit that exemplifies everything good Mandalorians stand for.

Aragorn is not a relucent hero. Aragorn is a born hero terrified of making the same mistakes as his ancestors and runs from his fate in fear until he realizes he is not like them. He becomes the King he was always born to be, because his entire arc is about breaking that cycle of fearing becoming what Isildur failed at.

Dins entire story is about a normal man through his own sweat and blood, fighting soley for the rights of the people he loves coming into power. Soley beacuse his own merit as an individual is a greater leader then those who presume to rule in the first place.

Din is meant to be a King because he grew to have qualities that make a great King without ever seeking it. Aragorn is meant to be a King because he was born to become a a King.

And by refusing to allow Din the story of growing to accept a role he once never wanted, you have crippled him of the development of realizing WHY these people believe in him, and this now Din will never truly believe in himself. Beacuse he now has no duty to fufill for the good of his people that would develop those traits.

Din giving that up without ever accepting he was becoming a leader in the first place is NOT just letting Din chose the path he wants. The best hero characters didn't get to choose their path because most often great heros never thought they would be anything of greatness. It isn't just giving Din what he thinks he wants.

It's actively taking away any chance of future character development, because now you have put him in a stagnant cycle where nothing about him ever has to change ever again.

I'm not just saying this as someone who personally wanted to see Mandalor Din, I am saying this as a writer who has spent many years studying narrative themes and character development structure. Who realizes that you have completely crippled any ability to explore a very large part of Din's seasom 2 development, by refusing him any way of growing those traits he developed.

Din shouldn't have been Mandalor because he had won the Darksaber. Din should have been Mandalor because everyone already looked to him as their leader before he ever defeated Moff Gideon in the first place.

You have not given Din what he wants, you have ruined an extremely effective method of character development by taking away all that was worked up towards. You have made Din hand leadership over to a woman who sought to use that power to corrupt in the first place. And even worse, you ruined his valiant character by making him do it willingly.

You have given Aragorn an ending where he justs his sword to Saruman, and tells him "you lead the orcs into war against us, you're already sort of like a King, you defeat the great evil and I shall go back to being a ranger hiding in the woods."

I write fanficiton. I should not be better at understanding your story and characters then you are paid to do, Jon.

► Bokura no Shokutaku (Our Dining Table), Episode Ten

I finally caught up on Our Dining Table this week, just in time for the big penultimate episode. (I must give a shoutout to @isaksbestpillow here once again for giving me life with her excellent subtitles, which are so much better than the ones on Gaga). And unsurprisingly, I love love love this show. It’s just as good as everyone has been saying. I love the undercurrent of melancholy running underneath this very cute storyline. I love Minoru and Yutaka’s gentle dynamic as they become friends and then more. I would obviously throw my body in front of a moving train to protect Tane. I love Ueda, the ultimate shipper and Good Dad. 

What is most on my mind this morning, however, is the reveal in yesterday’s episode about the more complicated dynamics at play in Yutaka’s family. I’ve been reading some of y’all’s posts and I understand that 1) this perspective shift is not fully elaborated in the original manga; 2) some don’t like it much because they feel it asks us to put blame on Yutaka or absolve his family of their neglect. I've been chatting a bit with friends @wen-kexing-apologist @bengiyo @kyr-kun-chan @shortpplfedup @waitmyturtles about why I don’t feel that way and I wanted to talk a bit more about it (she says as she prepares to write a thesis). 

First, I think the show played fair on this. Despite grounding us firmly in Yutaka’s entirely valid perspective on how it felt to grow up in that house, we saw hints from the start that this was not as clear cut as his memories implied. We see his mom reaching out to him constantly, inviting him to come spend time with them. We see that the memories that shaped his trauma are from what seem to be his first few days with the family - when they first brought him home, and when they first sat down and ate a meal together - and that his brother Yuki was quite young at the time. We see that adult Yuki looks at him with genuine confusion and frustration when he runs into him at the grocery store, and seems to feel wronged by Yutaka’s refusal to talk to him or visit their parents. With no reason to think otherwise, you can read all of that as a neglectful and willfully obtuse family being unreasonable toward him, but the show left some gray space there so that we would be able to go back and recontextualize it when new information was presented. 

Second, this introduction of Yuki’s perspective makes so much sense and makes the family backstory a lot richer. Yes, absolutely, teen Yuki was being a little asshole when Yutaka was first brought into his home. This is not surprising. He went from being an only child who was used to having his parents’ sole attention to being told he has a new little brother he has to share everything with. He was a child and he behaved childishly about it, lashing out at this poor kid who truly did nothing to deserve it. And their parents, in an effort to appease their son who they probably felt guilty toward, let him get away with it, and did not properly tend to Yutaka’s emotions or provide him with the reassurance he needed. 

All of this sucks, but it’s so real, y’all. Anyone who grew up in a blended family can tell you as much. When new siblings come into the mix, whether by adoption or marriage or new relationships, there is nearly always resentment. I can recall one particularly bratty moment in my youth when after a remarriage my mom told me she was pregnant again, and because I was worried about my own prospects in life and already pissed at her for getting remarried, I said something along the lines of “we’re already poor enough, don’t you think you should stop having kids?” I said that! To my mother! I made her cry! It was horrible! And she forgave me, because she understood why I was so anxious and already carried a lot of guilt about not being able to provide for me the way she would like. Which is to say, I do not like Yuki, but I get him.

But the crucial piece here is we now know, via Yuki’s perspective and the supporting commentary from their parents, that this period of resentment only lasted a short time, and not long after Yutaka joined the family, he did accept him as his brother, he did care for him in the ways he knew how, and he did try to reach out and connect with him.

Which brings me to my third and most important point: Yutaka does carry some of the responsibility for how estranged he has become from his family, these behavioral patterns repeat in his struggles with accepting Minoru, and that is good storytelling. Two things can be true: Yutaka’s family did a poor job of making him feel loved and emotionally cared for as a traumatized child and never took the proper steps to make up for it, and Yutaka has made himself willfully blind to the love and care others try, albeit imperfectly, to give him.  

Stemming from losing his birth parents and then that first bad week with his adoptive family, Yutaka fears abandonment, emotional vulnerability, and rejection, and so he rejects others first. He shut himself down to the point he didn’t even perceive it when his brother was taking care of him. He literally did not remember that happened, like his brain forced him to forget. He accepts his family’s care when it comes to material things and financial support, but won’t connect with them emotionally. He ignores his mom when she reaches out to him, blows off his dad’s birthday, and avoids contact to the point he has no idea how they actually feel about him. He isolates himself at work and in his community, living a very solitary life. All of this is deeply sympathetic, because we know he is doing it out of a sense of self-preservation and a deep fear of being faced with something that could emotionally break him. 

But ultimately, this is unhealthy, and the show is very clear on this. We see how lonely and miserable Yutaka is until he meets Tane and Minoru. We see how he slowly opens up to them, how their particular style of straightforward communication, easy warmth, and gentle pushing connects with him in a way his much more emotionally staid family could not. We see how Yutaka blossoms as he essentially joins their family, but we also see how his own unresolved family trauma gets in the way. How easily he shuts down when he runs into Yuki, and how that causes him to backslide and begin pushing his new family away, as well. And we see how absolutely overwhelmed and unprepared he is to hear Minoru’s confession, how that also causes an emotional retreat, how his own fear about opening himself up to that kind of love (and therefore that kind of potential hurt) sends him hurtling back into his patterns of self-preservation.  

Also, a meaningful point to add: The show added the family conversation while the manga never included one. To be honest, I wasn’t feeling the family scene (and I was encouraged to learn many viewers didn’t either). I found that conversation lacking and felt Yuki’s response was still childish. Rather than being an adult and saying “Yes, I was young and yes, my world was turned upside down but you didn’t deserve that. I tried to make it right but I realize I never actually apologized. I’m sorry,” he said — “well, it’s on you too. You never come around.” This is complicated. Yes, Yutaka didn’t give his family the chance but I also wonder how could he have? He lost his biological family, his adopted parents worked late hours growing up and he spent most of his time with Yuki, who made it clear Yutaka had no place here over and over again. The fact is, in light of all Yuki said over the years, just taking care of someone while they’re sick or inviting them to play ball, isn’t enough to undo years of trauma. What I didn’t hear him say was “I harmed you” instead he stated how young he was at the time. Although that is true, that is still a dismissive response. There are things I said in my youth to my siblings that, when I got older, I learned had profoundly impacted/hurt one of them. I didn’t say, “Well, I was young.” I was, but the FACT IS I said something incredibly rude and demeaning toward her and it impacted her in ways I still regret to this day. I had to own that. But again, we can hold compassion for ourselves and still hold ourselves accountable. Yuki, in my opinion, lacked that humility of accountability.

You can touch me. See? It's fine. I still want to be with you after this.

From now on, it might not be the same as before. Is it okay?

@pscentral event 16: pride colors @userdramas event 07: identity

Meeting you and spending time with you makes me enjoy my life again after a long time. What should we eat next time? What should I do with you? Just the thought of being with you makes me happy.

I’m so happy that I’m scared.

Do you want me to pat your head to calm you down?