relating to, but not limited to, witchcraft & witchery. may or may not contain triggers, categorized by good/bad/neutral as requested.  please proceed to read/reblog with caution.

GOOD  MAGIC

❛ not all spells are bad, you must stray away from the bad magic. ❜  ❛ there’s nothing wrong with a bit of magic, as long as it’s for the good. ❜  ❛ you’re like a vase and the magic is the water.  ❜  ❛ i don’t need magic to see that. ❜  ❛ not every spell is considered to be bad. ❜  ❛ this spell book here contains no such bad magic nor will it ever. ❜  ❛ i’m working up a new potion. it’s for the greater good, of course. ❜  ❛ i’ve never used my powers/magic for anything but good things. ❜  ❛ there is no competition with magic, you either possess, or you don’t. ❜  ❛ no one power/magic is better nor greater than the other. ❜  ❛ remember, everything you learn is to be used for good. ❜ ❛ you think every witch/sorcerer is bad? do i look evil to you?  ❜  ❛ i’ve only ever used my magic/powers for good. ❜  ❛ it’s not the magic/powers that are bad, it’s the person who possesses it. ❜    ❛ there is good and bad in everything, you must always chose to be good. ❜  ❛ my powers/magic are not a weapon! i will not be treated as such! ❜  ❛ i cannot help you with your wishes, it’s far too evil. ❜  ❛ magic is a delicate thing and i treat it as such. ❜  ❛ i don’t always use magic/my powers, i don’t always need to. ❜  ❛ it is a blessing not a curse, it’s only a curse if you wish to do evil. ❜  ❛ i did come here to show off my powers/magic, what do you take me for? ❜  ❛ i’m not a witch! i’m a person possessing magic. big difference. ❜  ❛ these are healing potions, they will heal just about any form of life. ❜  ❛ the good always outweighs the bad, just remember that. ❜  ❛ it’s best to use magic/powers when you understand them.  ❜ 

BAD  MAGIC

❛ i’ve never used magic for anything other than evil. ❜ ❛ i will be the greatest and the most powerful, mark my words. ❜ ❛ i’ve hexed so many people, i’ve lost count. ❜ ❛ a curse is never easy to lift, hence the sole purpose of it. ❜ ❛ what’s the point in having powers/magic, if you don’t take advantage? ❜ ❛ you have always abused your magical privileges.  ❜ ❛ i wouldn’t use my powers/magic for the good if it was life and death. ❜ ❛ you really only know how to cast curses/hexes? ❜ ❛ i specialize in curses and hexes only, anything else is just noise. ❜ ❛ shhh, you shouldn’t even speak of such dark magic. ❜ ❛ this book is full of the darkest magic you’ll ever read. ❜ ❛ what is the difference between voodoo and dark magic? ❜ ❛ dark magic is wonderful, you learn the most from it. ❜ ❛ there are so many hexes/curses to cast, i never know which one to pick. ❜   ❛ have you ever had a curse/hex casted upon you? ❜ ❛ there is no such thing as good magic. ❜ ❛ why are you so wicked with such a beautiful gift? ❜ ❛ you do not deserve to possess magic/powers. ❜ ❛ i’ve got a wicked idea in mind, want to hear? it involves magic. ❜ ❛ the best magic of all, of course, is dark magic. ❜ ❛ have you ever wanted to step into voodoo? ❜ ❛ this a book of dark magic/voodoo, but it is not easy to open. ❜ ❛ you have to do a sacrifice to get this dark magic/voodoo book open. ❜ ❛ have you ever participated in voodoo ritual? it’s very liberating. ❜ ❛ all of these spells contain blood and sacrifice… ❜

NEUTRAL  MAGIC

💋‍ : your muse kissing mine on cheek

💏 : your muse kissing mine on lips

👊 : your muse punching mine

👏 : your muse hugging mine

👋 : your muse slapping mine’s ass

👙 : seeing your muse in underwear 

✈️ : seeing your muse in somewhere they didn’t expect to see

😭 : seeing your muse crying 

👻 : seeing your muse scared

🌙 : seeing your muse outside alone during nighttime

💤 : your muse coming on my muse’s bed during night

🍴 : your muse making mine a breakfast

🌃 : your muse knocking on my muse’s door late

🍸 : your muse offering mine an alcoholic drink

❣ - hands

❤ - voice

۵ - feet

❦ - lips

ø - eyes

ღ - nose

♮ - body type

♫ - singing voice

✮ - sleeping habits

✉ - texting habits

✿ - laugh

✍ - writing style

⌨ - time-wasting habits

❅ - keeping warm/keeping cool techniques

✎ - taste in music/literature

☤ - self care/first aid habits

✪ - favourite food/eating habits

☁ - ideal holiday

✄ - nervous habits

☂ - sadness

❝ God, what if we just fucked one day? ❞

❝ Don’t sass me in front of the internet. ❞

❝ Follow your stupid fucking dreams. ❞

❝ Come at me scrub lord, I’m ripped. ❞

❝ I just wanna have sex with space. ❞

❝ Get in the tub with me, daddy. ❞

❝ Will you just relax and let me kill for money? ❞

❝ That sounds like your problem. Fuck you. ❞

❝ Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. Eat your teeth. ❞ 

❝ Make like a tree and fucking die. ❞

❝ Dude just…just pity laugh at least. ❞

❝ Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird. ❞

❝ We are like the Stephen Kings of stupid. ❞

❝ Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so? ❞

❝ Do I have to jerk you off to blow your mind? ❞

❝ I haven’t had so much fun since I killed my parents. ❞

❝ Unfortunately I had sex with a guy/girl over the weekend. ❞

❝ What’s a vegetarian zombie say? GRAAAAAAAINS. ❞

❝ Revenge is a best dish served fuck you. ❞

❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞

❝ I need an ice cream sandwich and a gentle blowjob. ❞

❝ Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. ❞

❝ The bananas has gone bad! ❞

❝ I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ❞

❝ Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke. ❞

❝ What if everyone just had constant helicopter dick? ❞

❝ [ name ], does getting me wet fill you with determination? ❞

❝ I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian. ❞

❝ Wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ❞

❝ These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed’. ❞ 

❝ Call me One Direction ‘cause my relevancy is dropping by the day. ❞ 

❝ One time I killed a person and I didn’t report it to the police. ❞

❝ I wanna take a girl to the Grand Canyon, fuck her, and throw her in. ❞ 

❝ Nothing like a gunshot wound to the face to really mellow someone out. ❞ 

❝ If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! ❞ 

❝ [ name ], I’m on a date with a guy/girl right now and you’re embarrassing me. ❞

❝ I’ve made a decision. I’m gonna in the kitchen, gonna open the dishwasher, and I’m gonna climb inside. ❞

❝ I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified. ❞

❝ I could pee on this couch, right now, no problem, while looking you directly in the eyes.❞ 

❝ Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’ ❞

❝ All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are blue, except for three of them. And there are four. ❞ 

❝ And Abraham said unto Moses, ‘Bro, dude, aliens.’ ❞

❝ I’m gonna throw you out the window. We don’t even have any windows in this room…I’m gonna carve out a window and throw you through it. ❞ 

❝ DO IT YOU SACK OF SHIT! – Sorry. That didn’t come out as encouraging as I meant it to. ❞

❝ [ name ], if there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.❞

❝ If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else. ❞

❝ Next time we make love, [ name ], would you please refer to me as your sweet cakey treasure? ❞   

❝ I try to show at least one other human-being my butt hole every single day. ❞

❝ The only people who don’t like sluts are the people who don’t get any. ❞ 

❝ Have you ever though of a career in driving people fucking insane? Because you are already a PRO at it. ❞ 

❝ I am actively looking for ways to get you to shut the fuck up. ❞

❝ First of all, you have to stop calling it ‘Mary Jane.’ That’s the first rule of stonerdom. People will think you’re a fucking narc. ❞

❝ First of all, no one says ‘pot-eyes’, you fuckin’ narc. ❞

❝ If by OK you mean like on the inside I’m just going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ then yes, I’m quite OK ❞

❝ When you walk outside there are three elements of nature that you must avoid: snow, wind, and bees. ❞ 

Send one of the following for my muse’s response.