If we marry Lucifer, then Satan is our son. I needed a crack fic of this so bad I decided to make it myself. Mc is still gender neutral but referred to as father and other variants of that since Lucifer is obviously the mother.
Loud footsteps reverberated throughout the halls of the house of Lamentation. It was the morning after Mc's wedding and tehy had something they were eager to do as they burst through the door to Satan's room like a madman.
Satan woke up with a start and fell out of his bed "What?!"
Mc's lips formed the widest, most shit eating grin Satan had seen since Solomon turned Lucifer into a cat "Guess what?"
Mc cut him off "I'm your dad now."
Satan stilled for nary a moment but it felt like a century before he actually responded "Fuck you."
"Too late, Lucifer's already done that!"
Satan scrambled to get up and Mc took off. Mc made it downstairs even with a rabid Satan following behind. They hid behind their dearest husband, who was still extremely tired, and started giggling as they watched Satan enter. It took a second for Lucifer to understand who was holding onto him but eventually wrapped his arm around Mc, holding them away from Satan.
"Honey, what did you do?"
"Lucifer, did you forget already?"
Lucifer's eyes blinked in succession, it was way too early for him to form a coherent thought.
"Luci, when I married you I became Satan's stepparent."
Lucifer took a second before smiling maliciously, ready to play along with Mc, even if it meant being the mother.
"Satan, don't say that to your father. It's disrespectful."
Satan looked up at Lucifer in betrayal, not expecting his serious big brother Mother to go along with it. Then again, Lucifer married the chaos entity that was the human Mc. He understood very quickly that Lucifer's marriage would be hell for him, especially once Mc pulled a joke book out of their back pocket.
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