Princess Voldemort

In order to have this conversation, we're actually having a bigger conversation about sex. Because that's really what this is about.

Something that has popped up in a handful of comments on my own fic is surprise that Voldemort wants to suck Harry's cock. Now, I'm going to be charitable and assume that the people who say things like this don't realize what they're implying. But the reality is that they are operating from the assumption that a man sucking another man's dick is, at least to some extent, weak and degrading. A subservient act.

This is both homophobic and factually untrue. A significant percentage of people who like dick also like giving blowjobs. It's an enjoyable, pleasurable thing to do. And even if the physical act of sucking cock doesn't turn someone on, there are so many other reasons to want to do it. Getting off on being the source of your partner's pleasure, for one example.

But let's move on to the elephant in the room: anal sex. Specifically, the act of being penetrated. The interesting thing about bottoming is that, contrary to what some people seem to believe, it's the more powerful position. Penetration is only happening because the person bottoming is granting permission. Even if that person has ceded total control of the encounter, the fact remains that they made that decision in the first place and could un-make it at any time.

If that agency does not exist, the sex is not truly consensual. Full stop.

Moreover, a strong, dominant personality =/= topping. There is no innate correlation. This is where misogyny really comes to the table. Bottoming seen as a feminine act, and femininity conflated with weakness and submission. Do I think (most) Tomarrymort readers are consciously thinking this way? No. But that doesn't mean the underlying bias isn't present.

There are so many ways penetrative sex can play out. Yes, you get the "classic" version of the person topping being dominant and the person bottoming being submissive. But you can also get topping from the bottom, where the dominant partner in every way is the person being fucked. Or maybe no one is taking a dominant role. Et cetera. This is a broad overview, not an exhaustive list.

Do you see what none of these things have? An assumption that topping=stereotypical masculinity and bottoming=stereotypical femininity. Even with a couple that likes playing with that flavor of gender roles, it's a choice they're making. And before someone willfully misunderstands me, there is nothing wrong with that choice. But don't mistake it for something it's not.

So now that we've clarified that being penetrated is not weak, degrading, or even inherently submissive, let's bring this back to Tomarrymort.

First of all, have you read the books? Voldemort is campy as shit. High drama and a surprisingly great sense of humor (his jokes are fucked up, but also pretty funny). He's not this hyper-masculine figure. On the flip side, Harry is not an effeminate man. He's a jock who will fight you.

So from whence comes this zealous dedication some people have to a fixed dynamic that puts Voldemort|Tom in the masculine role and Harry in the feminine role? Yes, we've established that sex positions are neither of those things, but we all know that's the assumption simmering toxically in the background.

I can't say for sure, but my instincts tell me that it comes from a shallow read of both characters. Voldemort is a powerful man who commands a terrorist organization. Harry is the good-hearted hero, defined by his capacity to love. And this can get twisted into Voldemort|Tom taking and Harry giving in a very reductive way. Even when the relationship is meant to be consensual.

Obviously, I don't think this is universal. I've read a lot of incredible takes on sex in this fandom, with different top/bottom/switching dynamics. And this is fanfiction, which means you can play with characterization to your heart's content. What I'm talking about is people insisting that Voldemort|Tom must top and Harry must bottom and anything else is wrong.

Why are you so adamant about that? Have you ever given it a moment's thought? If you prefer it, you prefer it, that's all fine. But when it morphs into claiming that bottom!Voldemort|Tom is out of character and bad, things have crossed over into the arena of the absurd. Like what you like, but be aware of what you're really saying when you talk about sex.

Not conflating bottoming with weakness and topping with strength would be a good starting point. Understand that there are myriad reasons a person might want to bottom. It can be a source of relief, allowing someone else to take control so you don't have to. It can be an act of manipulation. It can be a form of domination. And sometimes it's just because bottoming is what feels good and they have more fun that way. Or it's just the kind of pleasure they're in the mood for on a random Tuesday night.

Voldemort's reigning philosophy is POWER. (You know, the power in power bottoming). And over and over, he is about committing taboos in order to attain that power. Non-traditional sex acts is fairly low stakes compared to the other things he's been willing and enjoyed to do.

Sex is a tool like any other. We saw him do what needed to be done to charm Slughorn, Hepzibah Smith, his peers in school, his peers' children, and every other death eater. His aspirations weren't small, he didn't want to be class president, he wanted to be ruler of the wizarding world. He came from nothing, and if the only thing standing in his way was using his body to get to the next step, I don't see any reason he wouldn't use it.

And lastly, Voldemort is a hedonistic parasite who gets off on exerting power over the people who used to exert power over him (Muggles, Purebloods, authority figures etc). Pillow princess material. Lay back, be worshiped, make young Lucius Malfoy pleasure him and milk prostate for hours while a furious and humiliated Abraxas Malfoy is forced to watch.

But the biggest point of contention I see is the issue of tagging. Fixed shippers who feel betrayed and tricked when they are enjoying a story up until the "wrong" person bottoms. I've seen accusations that authors who don't tag are doing it so they get more "engagement," I've seen people say it violently triggers them, I've seen it being compared to sexual assault.

I'm pretty familiar with AO3's Terms of Service, so I'll remind any readers and writers who use the platform:

You understand that using the Archive may expose you to material that is offensive, triggering, erroneous, sexually explicit, indecent, blasphemous, objectionable, grammatically incorrect, or badly spelled.

The only tagging required by the archive is the rating and the warnings (should they apply). Everything else (EVERYTHING ELSE) is a courtesy and at the writer's discretion. Many authors chose not to use additional tags at all. Anyone may request to add or remove a tag on a work, and the author is within their rights to say no. For any reason or no reason at all. You (general you) will have a better overall fandom experience if your expectations are reflective of this fact. Expecting all other writers in your fandom to adhere to your specific tagging preferences is setting yourself up for a very bad time.