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fem is short for feminine, which is a gender presentation, and masc is short for masculine, which is also a gender presentation.

gender presentation is to some degree intentional on the part of the individual, and is not equivalent to the gender other people might assume an individual is based on that person's gender presentation, body, name, culture, etc. in a variety of contexts.

OUR GOALS

- to provide support for our community

- to give new detransitioners hope for a future after transition that includes joy and satisfaction

- to promote solidarity between the trans and detrans communities in order to share resources and so that detransitioning is no longer treated as “betraying” our trans siblings

RESOURCES NEEDED / HOW TO HELP

we currently need information on the following

- which insurances cover detrans healthcare (ex. top surgery for detrans men) and where they are

- which name (and legal gender) change resources also serve detrans people

- discounts for laser hair removal

- detrans friendly support groups around transitioning to another gender

- hotlines/helplines

This article below isn't how she got Kind clinics to implement intersex Healthcare, but is an article about her journey coming out to the Texas senate as a woman with AIS and XY chromosomes to try to stop a bathroom bill. They flipped her words and used her like "see? This is why trans people are bad!!" Which is why it drives me insane when people on tumblr say that kind of shit to us or ask if they're somehow amoral for transitioning now that they know about our issues - Texas senator ass behavior.

this is part of why misgendering hurts, even those little accidental, slip-of-the-tongue ones. everybody makes mistakes-- trans people make mistakes for thenselves and for other trans people. we are humans that that includes error. however, gendering people correctly isn't hard. it takes effort! but it doesn't take a lot of effort.

so when mistaken gender is the rule of how you treat a trans person in your life, you are making it clear that you do not care to take a second before you speak and consider the respect they have asked for. you do not care to give up a second of your time for them.

Someone who genuinely sees me as a nonbinary person, has no problem they/theming me. It’s only when someone sees me as “woman who I refer to as nonbinary” that they regularly stumble over my pronouns. It’s the act of translation, of mentally editing oneself, that leads to these mixups, and we can fucking tell.

And the fix is as easy as it is impossible for the people who struggle with it. Take the time to adjust your mental idea of “man” to include the trans dude in your class, and your idea of “woman” to include the trans women in your life. Make an effort, on purpose, to change how you think of this person. Not “girl who I call they,” but actually “they.” Get it right in your head, and you won’t have to translate anymore, and you won’t slip up out loud anymore.

this is also soo so so insane like. well even setting aside the bonkers statement “there is no inherent camaraderie in male socialization” for a second, I didn’t get a whiff of that so called divine bond of “female socialisation” prior to transitioning! I was the weirdo girl that other girls refused to hang out with, a core school memory was making friends with girls multiple times who all one day decided to stop speaking to me ever again, because no matter what I did I never “got” how to be a girl, I was made fun of and mocked and humiliated by other girls in middle and high school, the only people who hung out with me were other freaks that no one spoke to, and the slim chances I did have for participating in cissexuality and heterosexuality were deeply miserable experiences. Like what fucking female bond shit are you talking about lmfao, dysphoria made connection with any other girl effectively impossible and for years I thought I was actually genuinely insane because I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. And this experience seems pretty common for lots of trans people from everything I’ve heard and seen! These “socialisation” forces worked about as well as “straight socialisation” works on gay people.

And like even setting aside that for a second, what are you saaaaaaying girls bully each other all the fuckimg time! they bully black and brown girls they bully disabled girls they bully fat girls they bully intersex girls they bully gay girls they bully trans girls (btw where do you think these guys place trans girls in their inherent feminine bond view of reality hm?). Like these feminine bonds you are talking about are in large part formed through policing and bullying one another just like men do, because men and women are not different creatures with completely alien experiences, all of us are subject to patriarchal and white supremacist social forces. The difference with men is they have the advantage of being the beneficiaries of misogyny, which is why misogyny is such an effective bonding technique between them (and why it is so alienating if you refuse to participate in those bonding rituals). this is not some some epic genderfuck trans insight into how Gender Operates In Society, this is just repeating verbatim hegemonic default ideas about gender.

Like it’s just so alienating the way trans guys talk about transition on this website sometimes, like it’s this miserable isolating damning experience that cuts them off from humanity and makes them outcasts. And of course being transgender is hard, it can be deeply isolating and difficult, but instead of identifying any of those feelings with the broad social forces of transphobia and generalised alienation under capitalism, they turn it into this weird incel screed about how all women see them as dangerous predators now because Wamen are a different species who all exist in one big social club that they got unfairly kicked out of. Like personally I love my life way more now, it is more difficult and taxing but I get to exist as a real human being for the first time in my life and experience the world authentically. Transition saved my life, transphobia is what threatens it.

the female-passing nonbinary person is told “sorry, i just thought you were a gender non conforming girl”. this is progressive, because the person projecting gender is recognizing the difference between gender and gender presentation. however, the person in question is “playing the gender game”, as that one post i cant find coined, playing by stereotypes of gender presentation to benefit via recognition. they’re using signaling via their presentation to get others to recognize their gender identity and use the affiliated pronouns. so it isnt progressive, because the beholder is placing the object into one of two restrictive, colonialist gender boxes.

then the gnc girl is told “sorry, i thought you were just nonbinary” because she is presenting in a pattern that pro-trans people can recognize. online gender non conformity has a pattern with nonbinary people- a specific way of cutring and dying your hair, those hot topic pangs, whatever,- that people associate with folks you need to use they/them for. they want to be affirming and avoid the hassle of making a perceived nonbinary person correct them, its in our nature to want to make other people comfortable. but because the gnc girl is not playing the pronoun game, shes dressing in accordance to typical styles of men or nonbinary people, or that’s her “vibe”, so ultimately she’s hurt because she is ALSO not recognized and sorted into this time a third box.

whats the solution? asking someone their pronouns every time often isnt safe or an option, and these assumptions are made by a quick second of assessment because we’re a social species and we have pattern recognition and we sort things into categories in order to minimize harm.

its really about power and control, christian predators wanting to possess and control the bodies and minds of children. "im doing this to your body so i will like it better" "its my body until your 18 i get to humiliate and control you with it however i please because i own you"