I am primarily into Star Wars, particularly RepComm, CW2003, and the Thrawn Trilogy/Hand of Thrawn Duology.
Despite what I draw, I am not a big fan of TCW (kt's tcw novels get a pass), TBB, or most modern Star Wars content (especially when clones are involved.) I only draw the clones because I like to fit them into my version of Star Wars Canon and pretend that the shows don't exist.
I do not interact with or produce any cloneshipping content. Do what you will, but I will not be following if that is most of what you share. No hard feelings.
As far as my OCs go, any lore will be following Legends canon, meaning no inhibitor chips.
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the pre-chip canon clones being the mirror image of the jedi is so compelling to me…what was their training and conditioning if not mastering attachment, and what was order 66 if not them setting that attachment aside in service of some greater cause? they, too, needed to put whatever personal feelings they may have had aside in order to carry out their duty to the republic. delicious
This piece took 19 hours over 9 days, every hatch-mark was drawn individually. That's a little over half the time of my group portrait of Jailbird squad!
I think the worst part about being into comics is eventually you do hit a threshold where you have read enough to recognize people being wildly incorrect and inaccurate about comics but you cant say anything about it else you are, dare I say, a typical comic book fan doing the "well actually" thing that you found so frustrating and annoying when you first started getting into comics.
Something many people in the fandom these days seem to forget when interacting with anything Clone War/prequel era related is that the core of those stories, especially the Clone Wars Multimedia Project released between and after Episodes 2 and 3 and before TCW started altering things, were written during the Bush era and the War of Terror’s early years. More, those stories have some very serious societal commentaries and critiques about that war, the increased surveillance state of the US, the manipulation of good people into serving a corrupt system in an unjust war, and how African Americans lack of connection to their home cultures due to the legacy of slavery severing it can leave people susceptible via the military to grasping onto overly nationalistic America patriotism to fill that void.
It all ties in with how George Lucas wanted the prequels to be a big commentary on how easy it is to lose democracy to fascism (how good or bad he himself was at telling that commentary is a whole other conversation). And so I think redoing the clone war stories via TCW and other shows from Dave Filoni does a disservice to the larger Clone Wars Multimedia Project because the collection of commentaries about that era have been stripped from that story arc.
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Jailbird Squad's game night! Whose team is winning the hoverball tournament?
This piece took 33 hours to complete, over the course of 19 days. Each hatch mark was drawn one by one with a simple round brush to achieve the blended rendering effect. Needless to say, I am incredibly proud of how it turned out. The effort was completely worth it.
Check out some details:
Fun fact: If I were to pay myself $20 per hour with my fees for the background, multiple additional figures, and rendering, I would have earned $1,110! If I gave myself a discount for using a reference image for the poses, then I would have earned $1k. But this piece is very special to me, so let's call it priceless.
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Jare sat cross-legged and motionless on the balcony of the miserable little room they'd rented to wait out their latest target. They'd arrived a whole 26 hours early, a rare and expensive mistake (the extra night would be paid out of Jare's pocket), but it was a welcome one. The balcony would later be occupied by Doodles, the squad's sniper, as it conveniently overlooked a plaza with a luxurious green lawn. sitting across from the hotel on the opposite end of the square was a gaudy casino where the corporate sleemo at the top of the hitlist would soon be staying.
Jare had been thinking about Doodles. Not about the mission, but about a particularly nasty argument they'd gotten into over what seemed like nothing to Jare. It terrified Jare at the time, though now it seemed worrisome more than anything else. His outburst was such an oddly disproportionate display of rage; all Jare had done was laugh at his suggestion. Rude, sure, but the wrath in voice as he roared over the holotable... It troubled Jare, on his behalf. They were certain something deeper was wrong than just his attitude, but they couldn't say what.
Jare waded into a deeper meditative state to leave their thoughts behind, and came upon what they referred to as "the map." In their mind's eye, overlapping shapes traced the motions of creatures and beings moving through the Force around them throughout the day. They focused on their current location, and expanded the paths forward into the future. The shapes began to shake and tremble through their probable futures, and eventually wobbled themselves apart. From above, Jare could see that Doodles seemed very likely to approaching soon. Perhaps my meditation on our argument disturbed the Force. Or perhaps, Jare noted, and focused on an increasingly opaque branch of Doodles' path coalescing on the lawn, he's got something to say.
Doodles coughed, and waited for an awkward length of time before speaking. "Sarge suggested I apologize."
Jare opened an eye, and turned their head to look at him. "Did he now?"
His posture was much different than it had been when Jare last saw him. He shrank in the doorframe leading back into the tiny hotel room. He was looking at his shoes, then out over the plaza, then at the commlink on his wrist, and anywhere but Jare. He said nothing.
Jare tried again. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really," Doodles admitted. His voice was quiet. Jare sensed shame, and immediately began to pity him.
"Do you want to spar? We've got plenty of time."
He perked up at the suggestion. "That sounds nice, actually."
Jare smiled. "Put on one of those civvie outfits they gave us, and meet me on the lawn," Jare stood, and bounced up onto the railing, perched like a cat. "See you in five!" They silently flipped down off the railing, and disappeared onto the street. Doodles halfheartedly regarded the shapeless, beige "clothing" they'd been supplied as disguises, and sighed. Not very expressive, but at least it would be comfortable.
---
The lawn was crowded. Families and shoppers milled about, heading nowhere in any particular hurry. Jare had picked a nice spot in the shade of a shockingly purple tree, where they were now cautiously trading blows--Jare was intentionally avoiding causing a scene by abstaining from showy acrobatics.
The rhythm of the movement seemed to soothe him somewhat. His presence was less tense than it had been on the balcony, but his discomfort lingered. The plain fabric of the requisitioned civilian clothes billowed in the gentle breeze. Doodles wished he could enjoy it. Instead, he felt vulnerable.
Before Jare could ask what troubled him, Doodles spoke up. "Were you angry? When I was... Insubordinate?" His left hand swung toward Jare's ribs, but was blocked.
"Not really, no." Jare replied honestly, and ducked to deliver a low kick to his shin. It landed, but Doodles caught himself and remained upright. His brow furrowed just slightly.
"Were you scared?" he asked remorsefully, and tried to land a kick at Jare, but all he hit was air.
Jare bobbed up, and blocked a swing. "Yes. I was."
Doodles wanted to look away. Something cruel stirred in the shadows of his memories.
Jare swung at him again. He blocked, too late, and got a fist to the center of his chest. They bounced back and forth, and gave him a moment to recover.
"Do I remind you of someone?" Jare asked. They could sense him trying to pull something heavy out of the depths of his mind.
Doodles felt himself pulled back to the holotable with Jare's disdainful bark. And back to Kamino, as a boy. And there he was, with that sharp, cold laugh.
"My training sergeant." Doodles replied, and paused, before taking another swing at Jare. They blocked it easily. "He laughed when we were scared. I think it was... entertaining, to him."
Jare's eyes widened as their kick was blocked. They were reminded of their Master, Pong Krell, who never once laughed, but seemed to revel in Jare's suffering nonetheless.
"Were you angry? Back then, I mean." Jare dodged a punch.
Doodles was quiet for a moment. "Yes. I was. Every time, even more than I was scared."
Jare bounced on their heels, but didn't try for another hit. Krell flashed in their mind. Not truly him, but the weight of his expectations, carried in a single, subtle glance. "Are you still scared now?" They asked.
Doodles was quiet again, but an odd look passed across his face. He aimed a punch dead on at Jare's head, but it was as if he was seeing someone else entirely. Jare recognized that look from the meeting, from just before he'd been so livid with rage.
"No. I'm not." Doodles answered definitively.
They blocked him, but just barely. They smiled, and successfully contained their laughter, delighted regardless.
"My Master was cruel too. Doodles, I'm proud of you." Jare said. Krell's withering judgement echoed in their heart, but quieter now. Doodles had done something quite remarkable, if he really wasn't scared anymore. Even Jedi struggled to detach from fear. Jare felt his emotions, and found resolute determination--sure enough, fear was absent. Anger remained, but dimmer, and fading.
Doodles stopped suddenly. Proud? Of him? A volatile, dangerous, insubordinate... Painful memories blurred into a single harsh voice. Tears welled in his eyes. He tried to look away, but Jare was already wrapping their arms around his waist. He had half a mind to push them away and curse at them again, and maybe any other day he would have.
"I'm sorry," he managed, choking back tears and desperately willing himself to remain calm. His voice was shaking, but he meant it.
Jare hugged him tighter, but said nothing. Doodles was grateful for that. The wind dried his tears, and there they both stood under the purple shadows cast over the lawn without a word, until just before the sun passed over the top of the casino's tall hotel. He thought about painting it later.
---
Commentary:
Wow they're both impulsive and self-destructive! And they both had terrible mentors! I wonder what else they have in common! Could be anything! The tree was just purple!
Jare gets to show off some of that classic Jedi Compassion. The Jedi have passive access to the emotional landscapes of other beings, which gives Jare a leg up on matters of the heart. Doodles doesn't, but he doesn't need to have the same capacity for forgiveness that Jare does. All he really needs is a little curiosity, and everything he's worried about will fall into place.
kal skirata does get scared of the nulls. he smiles, tells himself they're his boys that he trained, that he can see himself in them. sometimes he can't, and comes face to face with the ugly and frightening and lab-designed-and-tested Other. he remembers he does not know them as well as he would like to believe. and takes a deep, slow, breath.
they can see it in his eyes, too. after all those years he can read them but it’s a two-way street and they can also read him, clear as day. and they can tell themselves they don’t care but there is nothing as hurtful as the one person who refused to believe you were a monster having that visible second of Doubt. that one instant they can’t hide where they look at you like everyone else does. the thing that almost got you executed as a kid and it’s in the eyes of your mentor who holds your life in his hands.
and the Nulls have a lot of bluster and loudly take advantage of their status and reputation of “unstable” and “uncontrollable,” which kal absolutely allows and encourages them to play into for strategic reasons. but deep inside since the moment he adopted them, there aaaaalways and forever lives a fear that one day it will be too much. they will cross a line where they’re too ugly and too frightening and he revokes his love. he rejects them. i think how they react to that fear differently shows and influences nearly everything about who they are as individuals.
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