Life is too short to not play with your food.

talking to my infant son like im a youtuber

Whats up baby. Father here bringing you another spoonful of Gerber ham and gravy baby food

me: *is overwhelmed by things i absolutely have the time to do*

when my friend found out her boyfriend of three years was cheating on her she went through his phone, took pictures of every interaction he had with another girl, printed them out, wrote down where she had been at every instance and what lies he had told her about where he would be, and put them in a folder. when she confronted him and he denied everything she pulled out this big ass folder and just said “lets review” and Honestly, that is the most iconic thing anyone has ever done.

This post goes harder than any post has ever gone before.

the sheer amount of Fucks Not Given in these photos is creating a Black Hole Of Ungiven Fucks, sucking in all the bullshit over the Fuck You event horizon and trapping it so the bullshit can’t escape. It’s gorgeous. 

oh please please PLEASE let Tumblr flag this post

Two trees, chilling in a forest, five inches apart cus they’re not gay

This is the most legendary tweet I’ve ever read to this day