Letters to the Sun

Dear Sunny, The girl with the large forehead!

Well, you may have notice I'm being the old me anymore. I guess this is the only way I could focus on my future and yours. A lot of things happened last semester and I'm so angry of myself that I want to forget my very existence. 

I know it's not a big deal to you, but I can feel it. How everyone suffer because of mistake that I made. I can never forgive myself for letting the whole team down. I'm not even mad at our two group members who left us. All I can think about is how I became selfish, to enjoy my own happiness in the expense of yours.

I guess now, I don't feel being a leader anymore. Each day I tried being one, I only ended up with my frustrations. I wanted to be happy but I can't. 

I want to forget everything. I want to stop feeling. I don't want to spend a single emotion so anyone can see.

Maybe, you all think that I stopped loving you. But that's not the case, I've made a promise that I would not hurt you and after all those sweet words I gave, I ended up taking away your summer vacation. 

There still one promise I need to keep and I hope I won't break that promise.

I may not be coming back. Right now I'm not sure if there's still someone who's waiting for me. I'm not sure if I still have you. I guess, this is all for the better.

Like they always say, "If you love someone, never let her go" but in this case if I love someone, I would let her go for her own happiness. Even though, It's a big thing to sacrifice, maybe this is all for the better. 

I love you.

Dear Sunny,

Thanks for sticking around last night. I really need the company. Well, what can I say? You never fail to make me happy. Yeah, I admit it, I miss you. I miss your smile, your laugh, the way you call my name; I miss everything!

Dear Sunny, Well, yesterday was your birthday and I know you're stressed out because of what happened in our thesis subject and in our team. I just want to say sorry, I never expected that things would turn out this way. I'm sorry to give you such a headache in your birthday. I'm sorry that you need to fake a smile every time you speak with our teammates. Well, I cooked some spaghetti and even bought you a cake for us to enjoy. I thought that somehow I can get rid of the weary feeling you have in your chest and I thought that I could somehow loosen down the tension in our group. 

It's also tough in my side as your leader to keep the whole group going. I sometimes blame myself for everything. Well, who else to blame? I need to take the blame. So that I could accept the fact that I became a douche after all.  Even though I'm feeling down, you're still there to cheer me up. Maybe you do care for me, even a little. But here's the thing, no matter what happens, I  and will always care for you. No matter how many birthdays would come, I will stay by your side.

02/03/2013 9:22am PV, P, A

Dear Sunny,

Well I can feel that we're closer right now than before. I'm happy that it turned out this way.

I may sometimes look unwell, but everytime you came and tease me, I felt a lot better.

You already know that you're the first girl that I love, who slapped me in the face. This may mean a funny game to you, but for me, this means that I'm ready to get hurt in exchange of you happiness. The pain will only last

a few minutes, a few hours, days, weeks but the happiness I felt everytime I see you happy will last forever.

The past few days, have been hard not only for us but also for our team. I'm almost at the verge of giving up but everytime

I'm losing hope, I look at you. You always give me a reason to hold on and not to give up. For everytime I see you smile, 

I also see my future.

There's so much I want to tell you, but I can't. Words are not enough to express how much you mean to me, but still

my actions can compensate to every ounce of it.

PS: I'm sorry I made you cry during our staring game.

Ika-Lawang Liham

02-26-2013 12nn P V, P, A.

Dear Sunny,

Right now I'm looking at you, I really like the way how you carelessly look. 

I wonder if you notice me, looking at you for number of times. I also wonder if you caught me taking your video.

Hey, you still haven't taken a bath yet but still you smell like a perfume that

is irresistably good, sweet and enticing.

This letters thingy may sound corny, but this is only I knew of, to help me

remembering about you. Like what I've told you, I'm not good in remembering stuffs.

This time I don't want to forget anything.

BTW, you owe me one hit in the head because you slept early then woke up late. nah, just kidding!

Well, doing this so makes me stop worrying about the future. I just want to cherish every moment 

I'm with you.

02/26/2013 - PV,C,A

Dear Sunny, 

HAHA eto na siguro ang pinaka corny na ginawa at gagawin ko. Hindi talaga ako gumagawa ng ganito. 

Sa katunayan ito palang ang pangalawang beses na gumawa ako ng liham para sa babaeng iniibig ko at alam mo

kung kelan yung unang beses na gumawa ako.

Alam ko sa ngayon naguguluhan ka, at alam ko na hindi mo ako gaanong gusto. Alam ko rin na masyado akong mabilis,

pero hindi mo alam na totoo talaga ang nararamdaman ko. Siguro hindi mo pa din ramdam ang pagmamahal ko.

Pero tama ka nga naman, "mahal agad?". Pero alam mo para sa akin ang salitang "Gusto" ay para lamang sa mga materyal

na bagay. Madali lang ibigay ang kagustohan, pero ang pagmamahal hindi. Pag sinabi kong gusto ko ito, chances are makukuha ko

ito pero mawawala naman subalit pag sinabi ko namang mahal ko ito, chances are makukuha ko ito o hindi man, pero papahalagahan

ko naman ito at aalagaan habang buhay.