basil

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

dw dw this is also accurate to you but not girl

if neither of them probably have ever kissed make it bad like yay we kissed that's good but they suck at it

that’s the plannnn I’m also giving one of them semi-canon internalized homophobia so he’s gonna be like “oh shit shouldn’t have done that 😨😨” after

this is also probably worse because I am in fact also a teenager who has never kissed anyone but sadly I’m not a fictional character getting shipped with my best friend ☹️

villain character who has a last minute change of heart and sacrifices their life to defeat an even bigger bad but it entirely does not land as a redemption with the heroes. the heroes are just like "oh hell yeah two birds with one stone. thank fucking god i really didnt wanna have to deal with that guy anymore. good riddance."

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!