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I may not be totally blind, but that's the thing, a lot of blind people AREN'T Totally blind. Blindness is a spectrum. and i don't think a lot of people realize that. And I'm just as valid in my blindness as someone on the spectrum with better eyesight than me, or someone with worse.

while i do feel like some people understand a little bit better that deafness isnt “all or nothing” (with education about people who are hard-of-hearing/HoH or partially deaf) i still feel like a lot of people think of the concept as deafness as “total and complete hearing loss” or “perpetual silence” or something along those lines. and for some legally deaf people, that is true! but for some other legally deaf people, that may not be their exact experience. from what ive learned from my deaf ASL professors, there are people who are considered legally deaf who can somewhat hear sounds enough to have the sensation of hearing something, but the sound is so faint or low that its unrecognizable. there are also people who are legally deaf who have just enough hearing ability that they are able to use hearing aids. however, they are still legally deaf, and having the slightest capability or potential for the ability to hear doesnt take that away.

i feel like a LOT of people need to realize that a lot of disabilities are a spectrum of experiences. reminds me of the discussions about ambulatory wheelchair users (“iF tHeY cAn WaLk In AnY wAy ThEy DoNt NeEd A cHaIr”)

[id: tags saying "wait wait i wanna know where they plan on using their full name, why'd you cut it off"]

be me at the los angeles zoo, one of my very favorite places in the world, because i love animals. i am immedietly 8 years old when presented with a little creature. i can’t help it. 

okay, wait, go back. we must establish two things for this to hit right

first: 

the year before, i’d gone to the san diego zoo with my aunt and grandma and! they let you feed giraffes there!! 

how wonderful a world and how wonderful a life, where for $10 I can hand feed a giant creature three crispy biscuits. i go “i am feeding the giraffes right now” and go in line to buy the biscuits and return moments later triumphant, 3 biscuits in my grasp

“oh good!” my grandmother says, “one for each of us!” 

“yes,” i say, despondent, “one for each of us.” 

i wanted to feed all three to the giraffes myself but since i am an actual adult and not a child i do not say this and share the biscuits 

second: 

my friend group echoes. a lot

someone tells a story and ends it with “and that’s what happened!” and the rest of us will repeat “and that’s what happened!” 

often in unison. and it’s constant, all the time, even to little stuff. often said in the tone of “they don’t even have dental” 

ok, so we’re back at the los angeles zoo. they have opened the giraffe feeding 

i am not going to be thwarted again 

my two friends (K and M) get in line to feed them and i go to buy the biscuits. i return with nine biscuits because i am going to give the giraffes three biscuits myself and i do not want to hear a word of protest. i am being fair. i am being equitable. i am sharing. no one can judge me 

“wow!” says K. “that’s a lot of biscuits!” 

“the cult provides,” i say generously, handing over their share, because what is a friend group if not a small cult 

and then, automatically, in unison, like they have so many times before and thinking nothing of what exactly they’re saying, M and K reply, “the cult provides” 

two different people in line turn to stare at us while we all blink at each other and then M nervously shouts, “we are definitely not in a cult!” which sounds like something someone who is in a cult might say 

and ever since it’s been a running bit where one person says “the cult ____” and everyone echoes it as seriously as possible, no matter where we are or who we’re around